GF has severe trust issues

[For_F]

My girl has really bad trust issues. She, every so often say once a fortnight will throw the most insane accusation or hypothesis. She's in almost every other aspect an awesome person and partner but her trust issues are going to make me walk.

Any advice? We had a massive argument just today because she accused me of potentially cheating when I don't answer her calls. I am not going to speak to her until I have perhaps a formal set of conditions to which she has to respect or I'm out.

 

[TheException]

My girl has really bad trust issues.

No fixing this. If your going to be with her, on some level you just have to accept this(if you dont dump her). Over time it should decrease in severity.

We had a massive argument just today because she accused me of potentially cheating when I don't answer her calls.

This one's on you^

We expect women to have a dose of crazy in them and at some point pull a manuever like this on us...its our job not to get sucked into her frame. Women love the drama and actively create it within relationships. I know its tough but resist the urge to battle her with logic...thats how "massive arguments" come about. Man uses logic, woman uses emotions, the two clash and wala a nice fight. Treat her with indifference and like you dont really give a sh1t when shes throw an accusation your way. Id say one or two things and then id leave(the room, the house, whatever). Wait until she contacts you. Sort of like Pavlov's dogs here....treat her sh1t behavior with zero attention....guys do the opposite and GIVE her attention aka fight with her.

Bottom line...if you cant deal with it, and her negatives begin to outweight the pros...dump her.

 

[Tiguere]

My girl has really bad trust issues.

No fixing this. If your going to be with her, on some level you just have to accept this(if you dont dump her). Over time it should decrease in severity.

We had a massive argument just today because she accused me of potentially cheating when I don't answer her calls.

This one's on you^

We expect women to have a dose of crazy in them and at some point pull a manuever like this on us...its our job not to get sucked into her frame. Women love the drama and actively create it within relationships. I know its tough but resist the urge to battle her with logic...thats how "massive arguments" come about. Man uses logic, woman uses emotions, the two clash and wala a nice fight. Treat her with indifference and like you dont really give a sh1t when shes throw an accusation your way. Id say one or two things and then id leave(the room, the house, whatever). Wait until she contacts you. Sort of like Pavlov's dogs here....treat her sh1t behavior with zero attention....guys do the opposite and GIVE her attention aka fight with her.

Bottom line...if you cant deal with it, and her negatives begin to outweight the pros...dump her.

read it again.

 

[VladPatton]

I agree with TheException, and I'd like to add that a warning may be in order. Tell her that if she doesn't stop the jealousy bit you're gonna walk.

You know, sometimes these girls fuss about how you may be sleeping with another girl, when they themselves are the ones doing the cheating. I'd keep an eye out for that as well.

 

[Cremasta]

Bad situation my friend.

This is one of the very few times when I think you should call a girl out on bad behaviour. If it was me, I'd sit her down and ask her a very simple question... "Do you trust me?"

If the answer is yes, then I'd tell her "Good, so I'm not going to hear any of that shyt ever again am I?" (and yes, this is a rhetorical question).
If the answer is anything other than yes, then it's "Well that doesn't work for me, we're finished here!"

She might be otherwise a great girl, but if she doesn't trust you, then that's kind of a deal breaker.

Good luck!

 

[WTID]

My ex wife was like this and I'm convinced her jealousy was more sh1t testing than anything else

 

[JoeMarron]

If she can't trust you then she's not worthy of being your girl. Plan your exit strategy. Also never argue with women. It accomplishes nothing.

 

[GotED?]

Sounds like you have a TEXT BOOK ATTENTION-WHORRE DRAMA QUEEN on your hands. You either love her or hate her. You attracted her in some way unconsciously - think about why you were attracted to her. Do you enjoy the up and down rollercoaster ride with an AW woman??

Some women can not handle boredom of a stable relationship - they unconsciouly stir the boat to bring in that shot of adrenaline in their blood that they need because they are attention-whorres. The underlying reason may very well be low-self esteem, high insecurity, etc. But that can be done without being a drama queen.

This is usually a sign of some heavy emotional issue, there are some BPD's that exhibit this type of symptom where they dread being bored in a relationship and have to exert a rush of anything, including negative emotions involving constant conflicts. In fact, BPD symptom can not exist without continuous conflict.

Exodus