GF has a crush on a new guy

[Costin]

No contact means no contact, don't give in to the emotions, as so many here have and as has been stated stick with that.

It will forever haunt me that when I decided to break up with my 1st girlfriend I wasn't decisive about it, I begged her to take me back after I broke up since she didn't give a **** about me and I thought foolishly that I could perhaps change things.

In the case of the OP its worse since she just blew him after she cheated on him ( as others stated I would find it unlikely she would break up a solid six year relationship if she wasn't certain of some things ).

OP: With regards to the parents I'd go have a chat with them when you are certain she isn't around. Tell them everything, and tell them you are not interested in her anymore because of the way she treated you.

Then they will either take her side or yours, depends on how much they care about you.

EDIT:

Let her feel the ramifications of her decision.

Yes exactly that. Let her beg and grovel for the attention that she wants, some may call it revenge I'd reply that if you do answer her you will suffer a hell lot more, and why give her satisfaction when it was she that decided you weren't worth her precious time.

 

[Flakey_Woman_Suck]

Now because of the possible cheating OP has to potentially go and do a ****ing STD test. Friggin slut..

I absolutely love the caring replies in this thread by the way. Stay strong BK!

 

[Father Joseph]

It is admirable how much the community is supporting you @BK Dude. Stay strong. Her hamster shall burn in infernal flames of her treachery.

 

[Costin]

It is admirable how much the community is supporting you @BK Dude. Stay strong. Her hamster shall burn in infernal flames of her treachery.

We've all been here I think, to one degree or another and so it resonates with many of us.

 

[Born_Again]

be strong and continue the no contact
I know it may be hard but, look at the bright side, at least you didn't marry her because it would have been a lot messier, if the court system got involved.
About the family thing, just tell them that you were both on a different page and that it. no need to fill anymore information.

 

[Ruleit]

I'll repeat what I told you a few weeks ago because it still applies

She pulled the plug on six years, not you. So:

You don't owe her an explanation.
You don't owe her closure.
You don't owe her the opportunity to explain.
You don't owe her anything

You most certainly don't owe her another hour of your life arguing the fine points on the definition of "cheating" which is where the conversation will go if you do decide to talk with her.

As for her parents, they're the collateral damage from her decision to terminate your relationship. Sure, they may be great people, however blood is thicker than water. If you tell them that she was cheating it will make no difference because inevitably they will take their daughter's side.

If her dad does show up the only explanation you need to give to him is this:

"D decided to break up with me to pursue a relationship with her coworker. I'm honoring her decision to do so and am moving on with my life."

If he still insists that you should at least talk to her, tell him straight up:
"Mr X, with all due respect, I don't have anything to say to her."

BK I'd like to congratulate you on an outstanding job of holding onto your dignity and balls. Her drama is hers to own. If she doesn't like the consequences of her actions, well, sucks to be her.

From what you describe of her messages they're still all about her and her feewings. She has given no consideration or shown the slightest bit of understanding about the hurt she has inflicted on you.

I know you're still hurting and the only thing that will get rid of that is time. A rough rule of thumb is to allow about a month for every year of the relationship. That makes it about six months before you're fully recovered. The number is an average and you can reduce that time by getting busy by getting a life. In those 6 years you were together I'm sure that she has held you back from a variety of things -- new hobbies, taking up old ones etc.

If you feel up to it, start dating new chicks and start building up your plate collection. Take the time to learn the truth about women and what they really want here on the forum and enjoy your enlightenment.

That's about the best advice I can give you from the limited info you've provided.

Best of luck.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Wait, what do you guys mean by hamster spinning? I couldn't totally ignore her because some of her things were still in my apartment. I wanted to burn them but I called her last night to come pick them up. I didn't want to see her face so I put them in a bag and left them at the entrance.

She rang the bell several times but I didn't respond so she just took her things and left. She still didn't stop texting me though.

"Please don't end things like this."

"So do you hate me now?"

"I'm in love with you. There was nothing serious between him and I. At least give me a chance to explain."

"Please call me! Like I can't fvcking sleep!"

"I just need you to say something! Anything!"

She's called me like a dozen times and is still calling me. Her mom has even called me like three times. I'm also getting calls from new numbers. I know it's definitely her using someone else's phone. I want to pick up just to yell at her to stop calling me.

Say potna, just take solace in the fact this is what old girl is experiencing right now,

Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,

this'll be the last package I ever send your ass

It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it?

I know you got my last two letters;

I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect

So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it

I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway

Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?

You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night"

about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning

but didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him?

That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowning

Now it's too late - I'm on a 1000 downers now, I'm drowsy

and all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call

I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures off the wall

I love you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it

You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it

And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it

I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me- Stan, Eminem

You may not realize it dude, but you're on the Charlie Sheen status right now. You're winning, like a muthf*cka. Ole girl thought she'd be able to indulge in anal and give an ATM to the new dude, while you would be blowing her phone. She wrongly assumed that you would be on the Jackson 5 status, and you would always "be there." However, she's played herself and she made the wrong assumption and by you being able to turn your back on her, (like she turned her back on you,) is bothering her conscious and is causing her to question everything she knew about herself.

If her mother and father come asking you what happened, just follow Mauser's advice, tell them she broke up with you because she found somebody else that she would rather be with. That's all you owe them. Good luck, man.




Now I think about what you guys are saying, she probably did sleep with him because I noticed a few nights before this, she would shut her phone off when I called. I don't get why she would do it. I never cheated or lied to her. Whatever, she's now free to go fvck him as many times as she wants.

I know in a few days, once the anger is gone, I will start to miss her because everywhere I look, something reminds me of her. Ugh. I hate this feeling. Sorry for ranting.[/QUOTE]

 

[Blackmesa]

You handled it very well DK! Your confidence in letting her go gave me motivation to deal with a similar situation.

There's a lot of great advice on this thread!

Good luck, stay strong, you're doing it right!

Regards,

Blackmesa

 

[Greasy Pig]

Ruleit is spot on OP.
Any contact with her now will just lead to more dramas and she'll use all her feminine wiles to convince you she didn't cheat and only loves you blah blah blah.
You've made a decision, now keep sticking to it.
If you're still tempted to contact her, just remember that she was willing to give up six years for some other dude to put his hands on her.
All this pain she's feeling is her fault. She's the one who put all these dominoes in motion with an act of selfish stupidity, now she has to live with it.
Do not give her the satisfaction of a reply. Any word from you and her hamster will get off the wheel and kick back with a mojito, congratulating itself on a job well done. FVCK THAT. She can burn in hell.

If her dad comes over, speak to him man to man and do what others have said.
Just explain that his daughter decided to end the relationship and you've made the very tough but firm decision to move on.
"But can you at least explain that to my darling little flower," says dad.
"Honestly Mr Smith, I don't really have anything to say to her and it's best for me not to. I hope you can appreciate my position on this."
Be calm and respectful at all times but firm and consistent with your message.