GF has a crush on a new guy

[TheSlasher]

Hello BK Dude, this is God.

I heard you were begging to me because you are full of sorrow and tears. Well, I am here to tell you that as the almighty, it is time to move on. I clearly am the wrong deity to beg to, because even I know she's no good for you.

But hey, since you "love her so much", and she apparently doesn't, why not try to BEG FOR HER BACK... you know because that always works out.

But BK Dude, if you must know what your future holds with her if she does decide to get back with you... because free will and blah blah... let me give me a taste of my all-knowing power:

You two could get back together and then you'd forever be wondering about the next guy she might like. Not only that, but the fact that she would quit her job over a guy shows a lack of character, but hey, you can deal with that... because that's what all men should aspire to, being with a woman who covets another man and shows a lack of accountability by putting at risk her income. Yes, I can see why you are begging to me now.

Listen, I've been around for thousands and thousands of years, the best advice I can give you is to pray to me for world peace or to solve hunger, because those would be easier tasks for me.

Sorry I couldn't be more help,

Sincerely, GOD

Hey God, you are hilarious.

 

[BK Dude]

Wait, what do you guys mean by hamster spinning? I couldn't totally ignore her because some of her things were still in my apartment. I wanted to burn them but I called her last night to come pick them up. I didn't want to see her face so I put them in a bag and left them at the entrance.

She rang the bell several times but I didn't respond so she just took her things and left. She still didn't stop texting me though.

"Please don't end things like this."

"So do you hate me now?"

"I'm in love with you. There was nothing serious between him and I. At least give me a chance to explain."

"Please call me! Like I can't fvcking sleep!"

"I just need you to say something! Anything!"

She's called me like a dozen times and is still calling me. Her mom has even called me like three times. I'm also getting calls from new numbers. I know it's definitely her using someone else's phone. I want to pick up just to yell at her to stop calling me. Now I think about what you guys are saying, she probably did sleep with him because I noticed a few nights before this, she would shut her phone off when I called. I don't get why she would do it. I never cheated or lied to her. Whatever, she's now free to go fvck him as many times as she wants.

I know in a few days, once the anger is gone, I will start to miss her because everywhere I look, something reminds me of her. Ugh. I hate this feeling. Sorry for ranting.

 

[MtnMan]

hold strong man, no contact. This is the only power you can now hold in the situation. She doesn't want to end things like this? Tough $hit! She made that choice when she decided that she wanted to ride strange c0ck.
The hamster:

Girls have this disconnect because every girl has 2 brains. They have a front brain and a hindbrain. The front brain represents a girl’s conscious thoughts and speech. The hindbrain represents a girl’s subconscious thoughts. Which one wins? That’s right the hindbrain.

To link up the desires of the hindbrain and the front brain every girl has a small hamster imbedded in her brain between her front brain and her hindbrain. When the hindbrain wants something the hamster gets on his hamster wheel and spins up a rationalization that the front brain accepts. Knowledge of the Rationalization Hamster explains the large disconnect between a girl’s words and actions.

 

[GotED?]

Burger King Dude,

There are some excellent advices from the heart with the replies you have received. I am quite impressed that a few fellas are quite caring and actually want the best for you by the way they wrote their replies.

Your thread obviously has stirred lots of old memories in many of us here - we want the best for you because we had chosed the worst for ourselves in the past.

I have nothing to add because all excellent recommendation has been said - you just need to disappear into the Universe where you find your throne and be the King of your Destiny, and let no one dictate that for you (no phucken women).

Exodus

 

[MtnMan]

i think this thread has so many great replies, because this situation is so very familiar to all of us.

Good luck man, it does get better, and it really doesn't take too long. In a few months you will really start to heal if you follow the advice laid out here for you.

Good luck!!

 

[Dgwizdal]

Wait, what do you guys mean by hamster spinning? I couldn't totally ignore her because some of her things were still in my apartment. I wanted to burn them but I called her last night to come pick them up. I didn't want to see her face so I put them in a bag and left them at the entrance.

She rang the bell several times but I didn't respond so she just took her things and left. She still didn't stop texting me though.

"Please don't end things like this."

"So do you hate me now?"

"I'm in love with you. There was nothing serious between him and I. At least give me a chance to explain."

"Please call me! Like I can't fvcking sleep!"

"I just need you to say something! Anything!"

She's called me like a dozen times and is still calling me. Her mom has even called me like three times. I'm also getting calls from new numbers. I know it's definitely her using someone else's phone. I want to pick up just to yell at her to stop calling me. Now I think about what you guys are saying, she probably did sleep with him because I noticed a few nights before this, she would shut her phone off when I called. I don't get why she would do it. I never cheated or lied to her. Whatever, she's now free to go fvck him as many times as she wants.

I know in a few days, once the anger is gone, I will start to miss her because everywhere I look, something reminds me of her. Ugh. I hate this feeling. Sorry for ranting.

She is already starting to crack and lose her fvckin mind right on cue due to your indifference and lack of fvcks given. Feel that?? - That's power shifting your way - realize that this power exists because you are the prize and have the stones to move on from her while she is having a mental breakdown. ALL SHE WANTS IS YOUR ATTENTION AND VALIDATION THAT SHE DID THE RIGHT THING. KEEP ON THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW AND SHE WILL REGRET HER DECISION FOREVER. GIVE IN, AND YOU GIVE HER ALL THE AMMO HER HAMSTER NEEDS TO RATIONALIZE THAT SHE MADE THE RIGHT DECISION. No matter what - do not give into any of your emotions, feelings, or anything she says or does and you will come out on top. DO NOT PACKPEDAL - You have too much self respect for that.

In simpler terms - her hamster is the midway connection between "logical" rationalization based upon what she "feels" or her emotions. Since women act upon emotion, they need a stimuli that will help them transition that emotion into a "logical" action or thought. If you don't provide that stimuli that creates validation for the way she feels - she goes fckin nuts as she doesn't have the fuel on her own to confirm that the decision was "logical" or right.

The way brains of women and men work:
Women:
Stimuli + Logic or knowledge + "Hamster spin" = how it makes them feel ----> Action based upon feelings

Men:
Stimuli + logic or knowledge + calculations = Logical decision ---->Action based upon logical thought process


So in the case, we are working in reverse post breakup. She split with you (action) because she didn't feel attracted to you anymore (feelings.) Since you have not given her any fvcks (stimuli), her hamster is missing the food it needs to spin (rationalization) in order to confirm that breaking up with you was a "logical" decision.



A bit complicated I know. HOWEVER - THIS IS WHY MOST MEN MAKE CRITICAL MISTAKES POST BREAK UP AS THEY ARE TRYING TO DO THINGS THEY THINK ARE LOGICAL WHILE THEY SHOULD BE APPEALING TO WOMENS EMOTIONS TO MAKE THAT HAMSTER RUN ITSELF TO DEATH.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I thought I was supposed to stick actual hamsters in her pants.

 

[MtnMan]

She is already starting to crack and lose her fvckin mind right on cue due to your indifference and lack of fvcks given. Feel that?? - That's power shifting your way - realize that this power exists because you are the prize and have the stones to move on from her while she is having a mental breakdown. ALL SHE WANTS IS YOUR ATTENTION AND VALIDATION THAT SHE DID THE RIGHT THING. KEEP ON THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW AND SHE WILL REGRET HER DECISION FOREVER. GIVE IN, AND YOU GIVE HER ALL THE AMMO HER HAMSTER NEEDS TO RATIONALIZE THAT SHE MADE THE RIGHT DECISION. No matter what - do not give into any of your emotions, feelings, or anything she says or does and you will come out on top. DO NOT PACKPEDAL - You have too much self respect for that.

In simpler terms - her hamster is the midway connection between "logical" rationalization based upon what she "feels" or her emotions. Since women act upon emotion, they need a stimuli that will help them transition that emotion into a "logical" action or thought.

If you don't provide that stimuli that creates validation for the way she feels - she goes fckin nuts as she doesn't have the fuel on her own to confirm that the decision was "logical" or right.

GOLD!

 

[In2theGame]

This is tough but she has truly given you a gift: the gift of renewal. Of becoming a better man. Way better than the man you were when you were with her.

She has disqualified herself from your life by weakly following her rationalisation hamster. Now you go no contact and let that hamster run itself to fvcking death.

Her reaching out to you is not because of attraction, it's because of guilt. Any response you give her will just put her mind at ease and then she can concentrate on the new guy.
If you express anger, she'll think that she was right to leave such a spiteful person.
If you express forgiveness, she'll just despise you even more for having no backbone.
If you express pleasantness, she'll be relieved that you took it so well and then go happily on her way without a care in the world.
If you show indifference and ignore her, you will send her crazy with guilt, remorse, anxiety and incredulity.
She'll be in disbelief that a man who proclaimed to live her so much could just walk away without a word.
Most importantly, she'll lie awake at night wondering what the hell you're doing, if you're fvcking someone, if you really did care for her.
She'll start questioning her actions and it will tear her up inside.

I once caught a girlfriend cheating on me. I just calmly told her I knew about it and that the relationship was over.
After a week of NC, she called me crying her eyes out (this was before I found So Suave) and she said: "I just want you to be angry at me. Yell at me. Tell me how p1ssed off you are. Something!"
I just told her I had nothing more to say and hung up.

Acting calmly now, accepting the situation and not talking to her is the best "revenge" you can exact.
You just resist the temptation to contact her. No matter how often she calls, texts or emails.
She was dead to you the moment she told you she wanted to be with someone else.

This guy knows exactly what he's talking about.

 

[Kailex]

Let me break the walls down like I'm Chris Jerico, circa 1999.

She rang the bell several times but I didn't respond so she just took her things and left. She still didn't stop texting me though.

"Please don't end things like this."

Hey, if this is how it ends, it's on you, NOT me. Deal with it.

"So do you hate me now?"

Do you hate me now that I decided I'm attracted to another guy, enough that it'd make me consider quitting my job instead of dealing with things like an ADULT? Because God knows that if you had a crush on a co-worker and told me, I'd have kicked you out ASAP.

"I'm in love with you. There was nothing serious between him and I. At least give me a chance to explain."

I'm not really in love with you. I just realized that something might not materialize with him and I want you to be my fall-back plan. There could be something serious between him and I but it hasn't happened yet. At least give me a chance to lie to your face.

"Please call me! Like I can't fvcking sleep!"

It's your fault that I can't sleep, even though it really is my fault, BUT I WILL NEVER ADMIT TO THAT. DOES NOT COMPUTE. DOES NOT COMPUTE.

"I just need you to say something! Anything!"

As soon as you say something, I'll be able to say, "Gotcha BIOTCH, YOUR ASS IS MINE".

She's called me like a dozen times and is still calling me. Her mom has even called me like three times. I'm also getting calls from new numbers. I know it's definitely her using someone else's phone. I want to pick up just to yell at her to stop calling me. Now I think about what you guys are saying, she probably did sleep with him because I noticed a few nights before this, she would shut her phone off when I called. I don't get why she would do it. I never cheated or lied to her. Whatever, she's now free to go fvck him as many times as she wants.

I know in a few days, once the anger is gone, I will start to miss her because everywhere I look, something reminds me of her. Ugh. I hate this feeling. Sorry for ranting.

By the way, her mom doesn't know the truth. Her mom knows you dumped her. I GUARANTEE IT. So don't be surprised if she calls to ask why you are being so unreasonable. Every time you start to feel like you miss her, imagine that co-worker's penis deep inside of her. That should help you out.

Move on.

She's horrible for you.

 

[In2theGame]

Wait, what do you guys mean by hamster spinning? I couldn't totally ignore her because some of her things were still in my apartment. I wanted to burn them but I called her last night to come pick them up. I didn't want to see her face so I put them in a bag and left them at the entrance.

She rang the bell several times but I didn't respond so she just took her things and left. She still didn't stop texting me though.

"Please don't end things like this."

"So do you hate me now?"

"I'm in love with you. There was nothing serious between him and I. At least give me a chance to explain."

"Please call me! Like I can't fvcking sleep!"

"I just need you to say something! Anything!"

She's called me like a dozen times and is still calling me. Her mom has even called me like three times. I'm also getting calls from new numbers. I know it's definitely her using someone else's phone. I want to pick up just to yell at her to stop calling me. Now I think about what you guys are saying, she probably did sleep with him because I noticed a few nights before this, she would shut her phone off when I called. I don't get why she would do it. I never cheated or lied to her. Whatever, she's now free to go fvck him as many times as she wants.

I know in a few days, once the anger is gone, I will start to miss her because everywhere I look, something reminds me of her. Ugh. I hate this feeling. Sorry for ranting.

I nearly spit out my Tuna Sandwich after reading that lol,.... Man, I tell you, i find it incredible how every female says almost the exact same things! It's universal when it comes to break ups like this when she is the one in the wrong but yet wondering "Why do you hate me now?" "You want to end things like this?" Like seriously, WTF do you want the guy to say when you said it yourself that you basically want another dudes c0ck in your mouth? Women are beyond ridiculous!! My ex was the same way, My best friends ex did the same thing, All my other friends ex's did and said the same things. incredible.

 

[GotED?]

Women are little girls in an adult meat suit.

 

[MtnMan]

I nearly spit out my Tuna Sandwich after reading that lol,.... Man, I tell you, i find it incredible how every female says almost the exact same things! It's universal when it comes to break ups like this when she is the one in the wrong but yet wondering "Why do you hate me now?" "You want to end things like this?" Like seriously, WTF do you want the guy to say when you said it yourself that you basically want another dudes c0ck in your mouth? Women are beyond ridiculous!! My ex was the same way, My best friends ex did the same thing, All my other friends ex's did and said the same things. incredible.

yessir, my ex also said the same thing. Amazing.

 

[VikingKing]

Women are little girls in an adult meat suit.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to GotED? again.

 

[VikingKing]

A woman that you can actually trust and treat like a person is a rare thing. They exist.

But I think they have all one thing in common, they were taught TO RESPECT MEN.

If you want one that you can actually be with, look EAST.

 

[sylvester the cat]

Keep silent. Her true colours are just about to show. She's going to drop u. Just wait.

 

[GotED?]

Exodus was on drugs. Post deleted.

 

[Thundernuts]

BK

I have been keeping track of this thread since you first started it. While in between classes at school i have gone onto this site specifically to read what material people are telling you.

Im speaking from experience, as is every other poster on here, these guys are telling you exactly what you need to do.

I'm telling you only to listen to them and heed their advice.

This girl is afraid. Your lack of communication is causing that little bastard hamster to spin like crazy. It will only stop when you contact her. Once you do this she will stop coming back, stop calling and txting. Once you contact her and she has even the slightest thought that you want her, she will know that she can have you back at anytime and the hamster will begin to spin that she has a greenlight to go and do anything she wants.

I've been in this spot about twice in the last three years, and even though i thought i was keeping my frame when i contacted my ex, i didnt. I lost the battle but i didn't know because you cannot beat emotion with logic, just like you cannot win an argument with a woman. They just don't think like we do.

Some men draw a circle around what they will clearly protect and what they are willing to use. Most draw this circle around themselves. Some draw this circle around a family, and fewer still draw a circle around everybody. Every circle has a center. That center is you.

What can protect if you cannot protect yourself? what can you save if you can't see a threat to yourself? What can you hold dear if you place no value on yourself?

You have an oppurtunity that many people don't recognize. Right now you probably feel like a bag of hammered sh!t. Thats okay. You feel like everything you put into this girl was for nothing. and your right. Thats okay as well.

Your gonna have to understand this is all a process and after you get done grieving over whats lost you need to start making yourself better. Not for anyone but yourself. My landlord gained about 25 pounds of muscle after his wife cheated and he did it because he harnessed his emotion and turned it into willpower and discipline.

What you need to is spend time with your brothers. Those friends that you know would take a bullet for you. Soend time with them until you feel better about all this, don't be a little ***** around them just let them know your messed up and that you need to take your mind off things. Don't be alone right now, it will only allow you go down memory lane and thats not where your mind needs to be. I saw a movie about wyatt earp(Kevin Cosner not Kurt Russell) and his woman questioned his authority. He snapped back and told her this.

"Women come and go but brothers are forever"

Look, i don't mean to preach, and if you need to vent you are more than welcome to send me a message and ill do my best to help you through this. You will be okay, but you need to stay strong. I've ignored advice on this forum and failed. However, when i have listened, I succeed.

Don't go back, you know you shouldn't but you want to because logic says you made an investment and you must protect it. Don't do it, its a lost cause. Her family knows that you aren't responding to her but they don't know why and even if they did they will tell you to work it out because they will be looking out for their blood, not for you.

This is a chance to ride the lightning and become something great. This pain is a pain you will either overcome and come out stronger or will it will break you and come back again.

This is what i call the tempering process of men. Exactly what you will become is unknown, all that is certain is that you will be better.

My best wishes man, and remember message me if you want/need to.

-Thundernuts

 

[Kailex]

Taking prolonged breaks from SoSuave leads to Kailex rep confusion!

 

[Sofomore]

Lots of good advice in this thread. BK, stay strong and continue NC.

Let us know how things pan out.