GF goes rave party without me, gets high on drugs.

[stuartSan]

Short things are easier to read, so:

I'm at a loss with my gf of 11 months. She recently went up for a rave party with my friends without me and got high (nothing huge, just 5-htp or something). I told her I can't take her getting high at parties (I used to do some, but have since quit, and hate people who do it), at least without me. Now she's all dramatic and sh*t. So am I. I'm really bothered by the drugs, even though they're probably just on the same level as weed. I don't know if I'm being reasonable, or just being a p*ssy.

Need outsiders perception. Thanks.

 

[Guybrush]

I personally avoid girls who are smoking or excessively drinking or using drugs.

The greatest englightment for me was to understand that there are always better, closer and available women around.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

I think it's odd your girlfriend of 11 months went to a party without you and with your friends. Unless, you decided not to go.

 

[DonGorgon]

Short things are easier to read, so:

I'm at a loss with my gf of 11 months. She recently went up for a rave party with my friends without me and got high (nothing huge, just 5-htp or something). I told her I can't take her getting high at parties (I used to do some, but have since quit, and hate people who do it), at least without me. Now she's all dramatic and sh*t. So am I. I'm really bothered by the drugs, even though they're probably just on the same level as weed. I don't know if I'm being reasonable, or just being a p*ssy.

Need outsiders perception. Thanks.

You have quite so you need to get a new girl who is not a druggy.... she is already F'ing your friends so dont sweat her, just let her go..

 

[Warrior74]

used to be a real hardcore raver...seen a lot of messed up things back in the day. I will never date a druggie again. It's just another big ass problem to deal with in a realtionship. You can't control her, especially if she thinks its okay. No matter how much you disapprove of it, you can't stop her from doing it. if she thinks its fine, then you will be the problem.

You options are to detach emotionally, don't get mad and prepare to branch swing to a new girl (or start spinning plates)....and then give her the lets just be friends speech (do to them what they would do to us) or....
just walk away now...it will come off as childish or whatever, you will be the bad guy and she will talk **** to your friends about you. Personally I would drop the whole topic and start looking for other girls.

You can't control other people, especially when drugs are involved.

 

[vonbock]

guybrush: you say you like to avoid girls that drink excessively. how much is too much. Lets say I take a girl to aq club and she takes 5-6 mixed drinks and doesn't faaze her at all. Is that too much?

 

[montybrown]

Are you sure she used drugs? 5-HTP isn't really a 'drug,' per say, it's just an antidepressant/sleep-aid.

 

[Max Power]

Short things are easier to read, so:

I'm at a loss with my gf of 11 months. She recently went up for a rave party with my friends without me.

So what's up with your friends taking your woman out without telling you? You may think she needs to get off drugs, but you need to get new friends more.

 

[stuartSan]

The thing is, my friends and my gf asked me, and I said sure, why not. I just didn't expect her to do "drugs" (note the quotations because a poster also said they're just anti-depressant/sleeping aid, but still addictive in the long run). I see myself as a pretty open guy, but this time I lost my cool and became all whiny and AFC. Maybe that's my limit.

I'm not used to being so bothered, and I can tell she doesn't like it as well. The passive-aggresive guy in me wants to just stop bothering at all, but we're almost reaching a year so it's not that easy as say, a 3 month relationship.

Glad to hear I wasn't over reacting.

 

[Deep Dish]

She recently went up for a rave party with my friends without me and got high (nothing huge, just 5-htp or something).

Consuming 5-HTP is basically on par with taking vitamins (and are right next to vitamins in a pharmacy). I take it and, trust me, it's not getting high. You can get to a real nice cruising altitude, but not high.

Now, the real cause of concern for you is 5-HTP is often taken in conjunction with Ecstasy to offset its depression. Considering your girlfriend was at a late night party, I would venture to say (with 99% guaranteed certainty) she was taking more than just 5-HTP. Trust me.

 

[Effington]

Well, I definitely think you're being melodramatic. I would be concerned if she did X, especially if it wasn't the first time, but otherwise, I don't see it as a big deal. Pot/alcohol are nothing to be worried about, in my opinion at least.

I understand that you're taking a strong stance as a reformed raver, very similar to how you hear people who've quit smoking make sure they tell smokers how bad they are. However, you should also have some empathy, since you've been there before.

It almost sounds like you're just worried that she's going to take some drugs and go home with a guy if you're not there. Not everyone who takes drugs is a cheater...

 

[Nightwing]

Short things are easier to read, so:

I'm at a loss with my gf of 11 months. She recently went up for a rave party with my friends without me and got high (nothing huge, just 5-htp or something). I told her I can't take her getting high at parties (I used to do some, but have since quit, and hate people who do it), at least without me. Now she's all dramatic and sh*t. So am I. I'm really bothered by the drugs, even though they're probably just on the same level as weed. I don't know if I'm being reasonable, or just being a p*ssy.

Need outsiders perception. Thanks.

If your values have changed, and she's still hanging with the same crowd then it's time to change your social circle.

 

[The Inside Man]

It was probably the hallucinogen DMT, 5 htp is a nutritional supplement.