GF dumped me last night, I feel horrible and need some advice

[Guitar_Whizz]

Hey guys, I was dating a girl for around 4 months. Things had being going well, and out of all the girls I've ever been with, she was the only girl I've ever felt it for badly and the only girl I've truly wanted an LTR with.

We had 1 problem though, we live about an hour from each other, so we only saw each other about once a week. It was becoming a bit of a problem, and I talked about about moving closer to her so that she could come to my house more often, etc. We could stand a chance of getting to know each other better and deepen the relationship, have sex etc rather than just meeting up in town every time.

I told her I couldn't move closer to her until after christmas/new year, and she told me she was very frustrated about the distance and that we hardly saw each other.

I had hoped to sort that out, but last night after I saw her she didn't contact me, so I texted her and she then texted back saying she 'doesn't feel right with me anymore' and she 'doesn't love me anymore'. She didn't even have the decency to tell me in person.

I feel pain like I've never felt before, and no that does NOT make me an AFC, it makes me HUMAN. I gave this relationship everything, and I'm gutted. I know it's a long shot, but what would be the best way for me to act in order to have a chance of getting back with her. I don't want to beg her back (that would be AFC) and I don't want her to know I'm heartbroken, I was thinking of just not contacting her for weeks, then she may wonder why and talk to me. I don't want to act like the typical guy and beg her back.

Guys, I've realised that keeping a girl is probably a bigger skill than simply approaching and getting numbers/dates/sex. In my heart I want an LTR, not hundreds of women, and I want to get my gf back if possible.

 

[( . )( . )]

To reply with an answer to such a sickening display of chumpish oneitis would be an insult to the mature forum but just this once and seeing as I'm such a nice guy I'll tell you the ONLY way you MAY see this b!tch naked again (why you would want to is beyond me, she obviously wants to sample other c@ck)

But anyway you ready for this?













GO FVCK OTHER CHICKS!!!





So simple yet so effective, its amazing. But I bet YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!

edit: and btw 4 months isnt an "LTR"

 

[joekerr31]

maturity = the realization that feeling horrible solves nothing.

focus on your work, school, other chics, whatever.

forget this chic and move on.

J

 

[WestCoaster]

Originally posted by Guitar_Whizz
Hey guys, I was dating a girl for around 4 months.

She's barely a girlfriend at that stage, but someone you're seriously dating.

Things had being going well, and out of all the girls I've ever been with, she was the only girl I've ever felt it for badly and the only girl I've truly wanted an LTR with.[/B]

You haven't dated enough then.

We had 1 problem though, we live about an hour from each other, so we only saw each other about once a week.[/B]

Only once a week? Probably not as serious as you make it out to be.

She didn't even have the decency to tell me in person.
[/B]

Women aren't confrontational, they like to see things drift away, or they'd rather not call, text, e-mail, or whatever. It has nothing to do with decency, more like women aren't as aggressive as men.

I feel pain like I've never felt before[/B]

Consider yourself lucky if a breakup is the biggest pain you've felt up to this date. Some of us have gone through some pretty big tragedies. A breakup? That's part of life. You'll probably go through two or three more in your life.

And of course, you want her back ... yep, you are an AFC, sorry. Read the articles and DJ Bible on this site, please.

 

[Slickster]

Originally posted by Guitar_Whizz
Guys, I've realised that keeping a girl is probably a bigger skill than simply approaching and getting numbers/dates/sex.

Yes it is!

Sorry about your break but here are a few things I noticed from your post.

She only lived an hour away and you would only see her once a week??? Do you not have wheels? Once a week isn't much of a relationship. You've dated her for 4 months and saw her once a week. That's 16 times! Okay lets double that number and hope that you saw her 30+ times. That's still not a lot of contact.

I know you're hurting now but hopefully in time you'll realize that this wasn't much of a relationship. If it was you would both be wanting to see each other alot more than that. You wouldn't be able to stay away from each other.

I hate to call it a Long Distance Relationship but I guess it was for you two. Something to remember in the future - LDR's don't work.

You won't have much chance getting her back especially if you aren't in the same area. Her Interest level has dropped below critical level and there's not alot you can do about that now.

Sorry dude but you WILL get over this in time.

 

[The Anti Dr Phil]

You know what, I was going to be nice with this reply because you seem like a decent guy, but I'm going to give it to you with thunder so it'll SHOCK you into reality. Come sit near me my friend, and lets take this shot of tequila before I begin (aaaaahhhh...tasty). Here, pinch your nose and have one more.

1. Four months is not enough time to get to know someone, let alone make wholesale life changes. You thrust your heart WAAAY deep into this, and chances are you scared the heck out of her with deep "emotional" and futuristic talk.

2. NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER leave house and home to move to another city for someone - if someone must take the huge leap of sacrifice, let it be her (assuming it's a decent amount a time - longer than 4 months). Dropping everything and moving for her after mere months smacks of, "your wishes, well-being, want's and needs are more important than mine, therefore it makes no difference if I sacrifice all". That's a fricken powerful subconscious message to send, in my opinion - for BOTH parties. And you also have to remember, men are the leaders in relationships, so why go against natures blueprint and let her dictate the tempo. Dropping your life enitirely to move closer to her lets me know without a shadow of a doubt, she was dictating the tempo of the relationship train. You can't convince me otherwise, and this kink in the track (mistake) is where the trained derailed. You let her lead, and you gave her the power to make the executive decisions, which in turn, threw the laws of nature off it's axis. When that happend, the forces of nature instinctively resisted. And like it's been doing for millions of years following cataclysmic events, it seeked a return to balance. Returning to balance in this situation = kicking a weaker guy to the curb in hopes of finding a man who leads.

3. She never did love you. Yep, read that again. She did not love you - EVER--- NEVER. An hour is not that long, and if she truly loved you, she'd be able to deal with seeing you once a week...which ain't half bad from where I sit. The hour away thing was her excuse to end things. She had been sharpening her knives and setting up for your execution for months, however it appears she didn't have the heart to do so until her back was squarely against the wall. So when she had no other options, she took the easy rode and "created" a reason to abandon ship...aka "The hour apart is too much for fluttering my heart to withstand" excuse. I challenge you to find a guy on this planet who had a woman- who loved him - leave because they were a mere hour apart.

4. She HAD to drop you now because time was of the essence. She knew you were planning to pack up to leave house and home to be near her in January, so she cut your throat before you started that process. It's now December, which means she had less than 4 weeks to act. She did you a favor. If you're hurt now, imagine how terrible you would've felt if she pulled that trickery AFTER had you left everything behind to be near her.

5. You are NOT getting her back, because as I said, she never loved you. Why do I know this? The proof is in the pudding. Read the aforementioned four bullet points, season it a bit, let is stew, then wallow in the thought of how she ended things. She ended things via text message. Turn the heat down, and let those words simmer in it's on juices for a moment. "Text message". Unless this woman was on a plane as it was about to crash, there was no reason for her to text you with that kind of information. You at least deserved to have your throat slit in person. And at worst...AT WORST...she could've done so via a tear jerked filled phone call. The way she ended things tells me she not only did NOT love you, it tells me she didn't respect you. And bro let me tell you....not having your woman respect you, is a lot worse than her not loving you.

Let her be. Move on.

 

[Bourne]

680 Posts and you are still like this?

You really need to be spit out and your heart stumped on, HARD. Only then you will understand and perhaps not be like this.

 

[Heretolearn]

Hi,

I understand where you are coming from!

1. Listen to the good guys on this forum, seriously!

2. You speak as if it is millions of women or a LTR. They are not your only options!

3. You want a long term relationship, then have a long term relationship with yourself! That is the best relationship you can have!

4. You will feel SO MUCH BETTER WITH TIME! You will look back at this and laugh oneday!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Bourne
680 Posts and you are still like this?

You really need to be spit out and your heart stumped on, HARD. Only then you will understand and perhaps not be like this.

The number of posts a guy has doesn't mean sh1t.....





























Unless you're me....

 

[tmpgstx]

Daaammm - Anti Dr. Phil in the house! Keeping sharing that wisdom.

 

[Bourne]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
The number of posts a guy has doesn't mean sh1t.....

Yes it does. There is so much knowledge on these forums, and he has been here since 2002. Did not learn much with all the info given.

I know it is painful, I'm not giving you a hard time on that; just you been here too long you are still desperate and needy.

There are alot better women out there; find a good one; this one is not.

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

Ok everyone, thanks for the advice. There are some points I'd like to make though.

Yes, I have been here since 2002, and in that time I've gotten very good at approaching, getting numbers, dates, etc - basically I've honed my ability to pickup girls and have short term things, but I've NOT had much experience of LTRs. So in fact I HAVE learned a LOT since 2002, I've spend countless time in the field actually putting everything I've learned into practice, but I still lack experience with LTRs.

The girl I was dating was only 16, and we originally met on the net. When we first met up in person, I actually went to meet a friend of hers, didn't like the friend, and the girl tagged along, saw me and liked me. She got my email addy from her friend and emailed me telling me she liked me and wanted to meet. After 2 meets she asked me 'so are we going out with each other', and I said we were. After 2 months I ended things with her because her friends were trying to break us up, but we soon ended up back in touch, she told me she was devastated we'd split, and that she now had a new circle of friends, etc, so I asked her if she wanted to give it another go.

Second time round it lasted 4 months. During the time apart we'd constantly text each other, sometimes talk on the phone, it was the only way we could deal with being apart.

What made me want to move to her town was she told me things no other girl had ever, eg she wrote me 2 letter telling me how she felt about me and where she wanted the relationship to go. She said I was definitely 'the one', and that nobody in the entire world made her feel so good about herself and life than me. She also said I was the only guy who could turn her on. I also wrote her letters in return.

Other thing that made me want to move to her town was that she still lived with parents, so we had nowhere to do sex or have privacy and basically to hang out together. We usually just ended up walking around town when we met, or would occassionally go to her place.

It always seemed like she was pursueing me, not the other way round, therefore I thought I was in a comfortable position.

Her excuse for the breakup was 'It was party the distance, but there were other things, basically I just don't love you anymore'.

I do feel this forum lacks advice on how to keep a girl, how to manage an LTR and how to fix a broken relationship.

 

[MightyMate]

Keeping is a huge skill. I also had problems with that. Mainly just have sex with other woman, party and sooner or later You will find new one. Girls comes an goes!

 

[WestCoaster]

She's only 16!!!!!!!!!

You're hurting over a 16-year old? She's a child and in this country it's called statuatory rape.

A 16-year old threw you off your game. I hate to be brutal, but that is sick.

Sixteen year olds shouldn't be dating 25-year olds, they should be finding themselves, being with age-appropriate friends, dating TEENAGERS. A teen's brain isn't even fully developed until 19 ... you're kidding me, a 16-year old hurt you? Wow ... I wouldn't even post here again until you read the entire DJ Bible.

If I was this kid's father, I'd kick your a$$.

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

Here in England, 16 is the legal age of consent, and her parents had no problems with me, so age wasn't the issue here. The only aspect I can say about age is that she may have been too immature to handle a relationship, especially with an older guy.

I stand by my opinion that these boards don't have as much advice as they could about how to keep a girl. It seems to me that virtually everyone here is obsessed with constantly approaching girls, but not developing any meaningful or fulfilling relationships with them.

I myself am bored of simply approaching/getting numbers/going on dates/having 'casual' relationships/using a girl just for sex etc. I want to move on to the next level and explore the realm of an LTR. I'm trying to analyse where I went wrong, yet I get severely flamed simply because I'm fed up of being a 'player'.

I honestly believe with maturity comes the need for an LTR as opposed to simply shaggin hundreds of girls. It's also a FAR bigger skill to KEEP a girl than to PICKUP a girl.

And if a relationship goes sour, can it never be fixed? I believe it's possible. The number one reason for relationship breakups in my opinion is that both sexes do not understand and embrace the differences between each sex. When men understand how women think and what they need (and women do the same for men), both people in the LTR can accept each others' differences rather than having conflicts due not understanding these differences. (If only I'd realised this a few weeks or months ago).

 

[WestCoaster]

You still shouldn't be bummed over losing a child ... because that's what she is. C'mon man, aren't there 22-25 year olds in England? Get serious.

There's plenty of advice on how to keep a woman here, it's called having an inner game. Women are attracted to confidence. You have an inner game, you keep a woman. If a woman leaves a man with a great inner game for a lesser dude, that's her problem (and her future divorce), not yours.

You shouldn't even be dating 16-year olds, age of consent or not. They do not have any life experience ... it's not their fault, it's that they're 16.

Why aren't you out there dating similar aged women? They're much more interesting ... c'mon.

 

[Slickster]

GW sorry but you should know better than to get too serious with a 16 yr old girl!

How could you have possibly believed that this relationship had a chance of lasting the test of time. You are probably her first serious boyfriend for God's sake.

Yes she wrote you letters and told you things like "I love you" and "You are the one" or "I've never met anyone like you."

All sixteen year old girls say that to their boyfriends. Fact is she is SIXTEEN!!! She doesn't have the life experience for you to be taking those words too seriously. Most women are full of shyt no matter what age they are but especially when they are teenagers. You should know better.

Come on GW you fell for a young chick. A bit too hard. No shame in that but realize your mistakes, get your shyt together and get back in the game!

Next time pick one around 24-28 yr old. At that age they're usually more likely to be loyal, less flakey, and less headaches.

 

[The Anti Dr Phil]

16??? The Anti Dr Phil has no words.

 

[WestCoaster]

What's worse?

Not sure what's worse, getting played and dumped by a 16-year old ...

... dating a 16-year old when you're 25

... or ...


.... actually saying, "This is the worst I've felt in my life" after a bubble-gum popping/boy band loving 16-year old dumps you.

This is probably one of the most pathetic posts I've ever read here ... and usually I give AFCs some slack because I've been one, but at 25 I was dating hot 20-30's and having fun. My God, this is just insane.

 

[ElChoclo]

Anti Doctor Phil gave it to you perfectly. What a masterly analysis (showing almost Machiavellian abilities to understand human nature).

Yes, Westcoaster, here in Australia we follow the English ways. You can even drink here in a bar at 18 (and no not Fosters). However, you are pretty right about the age matter here. By the way I don't call 25 mature (as I'm an old geezer).

And as for the distance matter, I know you are in Little Britain but 1 hour shouldn't have been a big deal. I regularly travel 300kilometres to see my GF (each weekend generally) and that is 4 hours return.