Gf checking out other guys. Now I consider her, not relationship worth it...

[randombrah1]

Pretty much tittle guys.

This wouldnt bother me in the slightest but given context and past history, I consider it a red flag and Im not sure wether if I keep the relationship or just dump and get a better girl.

Ok, will try to give a bit of context so you guys can tell me the cold hard truth. Im 23, shes 18 and the kind of girl who has a lot of orbiters (to give you an idea, shes the one who gets 100+ likes on every single pic on fb and in real life, she has options. Strong high 7). Im 6 ft 3, been working out for almost 4 years, have options too but im the kind of guy who has strong values so I try to not do shady shiet.


-When we were dating just dating (no gf tittle at this point), I realized that she liked to flirt with a LOT of orbiters. When I realized this I went no contact and started hanging out with other girl.
-After a week of no contact she called me to see what up. I told her "I dont date girls that like to flirt with a lot of guys" and she said "I can change that". So I gave her the benefit of the doubt and just kept my eyes open in case she was lying. Aparently, she got it
-Started dating.
-A few details show me that she is not disregarding said guys, but just giving enough hope to keep them there.
-Call her out again and now, boundaries have been set. Told her that if she breaks them im out.
-Now 2 months in.
-Hung out today. Have some food and sex (so its not like we arent having contact). Then go out to get some ice cream.
-I see how she is checking someone else who is behind me. She runs eyes up and down.
-I turn around to see who it was (I knew it was a guy), and made sure she knew I knew.
-I took this as a free pass to check out other girls but do it harder than her.

As far as I know and thanks to everything I've read here. I think I've been doing it right, but even when I know that I can play the game back at her. I dont see it as worth it.

You see, I know that checking out other people is natural, but at least have the decency to not do it on my face...

I know I can flirt with other girls, make her jelous. But since this is disrespectful in my book, I keep it low. Its like, the only way for me to make it into a DJ is to disregard my values on whats disrespectful and what not in relationships.

Anyways, im here to see what can I improve. Maybe im overreacting and being too much of a good guy (yes, been working on that for a few years now), or maybe she is just a girl who is getting back to her attention ***** roots. What you guys think?

 

[jnMissouri]

A glance is one thing, but looking the guy up and down? Ditch her or just use her, don't be committed at all, she sounds like an attention ***** who will eventually cheat on you. Same with the enough hope to keep them there. My hb9 ex used to do that, with guys who were ugly and had NO game, friends since child hood. She would give them just enough to keep them orbiting. I ended the relationship after 3 wasted years. She just liked the attention. What's funny, is that even years before we met she wouldn't do anything with these guys. She let me read her myspace emails from when she was single, but it's inviting trouble. Boundaries are boundaries, and frankly, when I get into a relationship now a days, we have written boundaries we both abide by.

 

[skinnyguy]

The fact that she gets 100 likes for stupid selfies is a red flag in itself

 

[randombrah1]

A glance is one thing, but looking the guy up and down? Ditch her or just use her, don't be committed at all, she sounds like an attention ***** who will eventually cheat on you. Same with the enough hope to keep them there. My hb9 ex used to do that, with guys who were ugly and had NO game, friends since child hood. She would give them just enough to keep them orbiting. I ended the relationship after 3 wasted years. She just liked the attention. What's funny, is that even years before we met she wouldn't do anything with these guys. She let me read her myspace emails from when she was single, but it's inviting trouble. Boundaries are boundaries, and frankly, when I get into a relationship now a days, we have written boundaries we both abide by.

Sadly, this is what I think. Such bs.

I know your feels bro. And the thing is that these guys arent even competition... Boundaries are up but why do we have to writte a fukin book and what is allowed and what not in a relationship? Im just one relationship away of becoming jaded thanks to the bs I have to deal with.

The fact that she gets 100 likes for stupid selfies is a red flag in itself

Im not surprised with the amount of white knights on this generation.

Forgot to add

She has this group of 2 girl friends who are actual sluts (dont know if this word isnt allowed or not)... This is her pirmary group of friends. she doesnt go out with them to drink or stuff since I put the boundaries up. But I think that birds of a feather... Not sure if the benefit of the doubt is worht it here.

The other group of girls friends 2, has bf and she is starting hanging out with them recently. But wtf.

 

[randombrah1]

Ok, why are you guys calling troll on this post?

Im being serious. If its too stupid, tell me why, I SERIOUSLY, wanna know what to do? Im still learning.

 

[( . )( . )]

I wouldn't put too much stock into this girl. She's 18 and going by your description very a much a "modern girl" (lot's of selfies, lots of fagbook orbiters, a feelz junky from the dopamine hits she gets off facebook likes). She's going to want to sample what else is out there eventually. I'd play it extremely light and casual from here on in, absolutely no demands for exclusivity. She's still a teenager and you showing you have your sh!t together and you take no dirt won't have as much impact on her as it would an older chick. Have fun with her but just accept there's probably a 99.9% chance it's a temporary gig.

 

[randombrah1]

I wouldn't put too much stock into this girl. She's 18 and going by your description very a much a "modern girl" (lot's of selfies, lots of fagbook orbiters, a feelz junky from the dopamine hits she gets off facebook likes). She's going to want to sample what else is out there eventually. I'd play it extremely light and casual from here on in, absolutely no demands for exclusivity. She's still a teenager and you showing you have your sh!t together and you take no dirt won't have as much impact on her as it would an older chick. Have fun with her but just accept there's probably a 99.9% chance it's a temporary gig.

Thanks bro. Seems that this is the way.

 

[skinnyguy]

wanna stop being a nice guy? good cause youre gonna have to be the bad guy for this one if you wanna come out on top.

girls like this need to be constantly treated like crap to get them to respond to anything. treat her like nothing more than your sex toy from here on out.

checks out other guys ?

"want me to hook u up? i'll tell him youre my shy sister and you think hes cute"

getting ready to go out?

"that dress is too long. wear a shorter, tighter one that will show some cleavage, you'll turn way more heads"

flirt mercilessly with her friends and other girls. dont be afraid to cheat but dont let her find out. disappear on her for days and eventually cut her loose. this is key here

whatever you do, if nothing else and the above is too much for you to handle you MUST be the one to break up with her. if you let it get to the point where she verbally reaches out to you about "needing space" or a "break" you will lose. trust me.

you dont want to be the guy she turns into a pathetic beta that took years to get over her.

you want to be the a$$hole alpha that broke her heart that she cant get enough that she hopes one day might reach out to her and want to give things another shot.

trust me it will do much more for your health if you take control NOW. if you dont, this girl will bleed you out emotionally.

+1

You have to be a complete **** if you want to come out ahead on this one. Chicks like are easily manipulated and become doormats when they are jealous

 

[LondonTowers]

Take a breath. Look at the reality of the situation. Now re-engage with her as a fuk-toy. Truly do not give a fuk. Fuk her as hard and dirty as you like. Walk out and fuk a bunch of other girls. Don't ever explicitly say you are fuking other girls. But she will realise she ain't **** to you anymore. Disappear. Reappear. Fuk her again. She tries to play with you. Disappear until she begs you to come back. Fuk her again. Then disappear forever.

Girls like this do not deserve your love and loyalty. They deserve to be fuked and royally.

 

[Masculinity]

Save yourself sorrow and move on to other women. She is not worth your time.

 

[randombrah1]

wanna stop being a nice guy? good cause youre gonna have to be the bad guy for this one if you wanna come out on top.

girls like this need to be constantly treated like crap to get them to respond to anything. treat her like nothing more than your sex toy from here on out.

checks out other guys ?

"want me to hook u up? i'll tell him youre my shy sister and you think hes cute"

getting ready to go out?

"that dress is too long. wear a shorter, tighter one that will show some cleavage, you'll turn way more heads"

flirt mercilessly with her friends and other girls. dont be afraid to cheat but dont let her find out. disappear on her for days and eventually cut her loose. this is key here

whatever you do, if nothing else and the above is too much for you to handle you MUST be the one to break up with her. if you let it get to the point where she verbally reaches out to you about "needing space" or a "break" you will lose. trust me.

you dont want to be the guy she turns into a pathetic beta that took years to get over her.

you want to be the a$$hole alpha that broke her heart that she cant get enough that she hopes one day might reach out to her and want to give things another shot.

trust me it will do much more for your health if you take control NOW. if you dont, this girl will bleed you out emotionally.

Damn, seems like this relationship is going to be my training ground to new stuff.

Will try to this new things, if I feel like I cant distance myself emotionally while being with her. I'll break it off. Thanks for everything bros!

 

[vinkoch]

She's too much into playing the game of who's more desirable and who can handle it. You don't want this kind of relationship. Two options - win by nexting her for someone else or just go ghost and stick to it forever. Girls like this will always win if you stick around. You might think you're winning by playing hard to get and being alpha but make no mistake she will ultimately win by nexting you. And since you dont like what shes doing and youve made her aware of it she'll definitely throw some salt on the wound. You really think you can win her over by playing the game back? Not going to happen. She wouldnt be doing this if she really wanted to keep you.

 

[Fugitive]

Agree with the majority that she's 18 and she's curious and is craving attention, sooner or later she will cheat on you regardless of how amazing you are.

I do think you need to be a bit more chilled out. I was out with my GF a while back and she caught me checking out another girl. It's just kind of natural even when you're committed to someone to find others attractive. I would agree with you though that it's BS if she has a bunch of orbiters because that means she is putting herself in a position of dominance by having background options. You can't really change that when it's so extreme as all over FB and real life. You'll always be struggling to control a b*tch like that. Best to dump her and move on.

 

[randombrah1]

She's too much into playing the game of who's more desirable and who can handle it. You don't want this kind of relationship. Two options - win by nexting her for someone else or just go ghost and stick to it forever. Girls like this will always win if you stick around. You might think you're winning by playing hard to get and being alpha but make no mistake she will ultimately win by nexting you. And since you dont like what shes doing and youve made her aware of it she'll definitely throw some salt on the wound. You really think you can win her over by playing the game back? Not going to happen. She wouldnt be doing this if she really wanted to keep you.

Been asking around and people say that is normal to look at other human beings, I understand that. There will always be attraction to other human beings, we arent made to be monogamous... This is one side of the coin.

The fuked up part is that thanks to my values, I refrain from doing certain things that I consider a lack of respect to the relationship, even when is something as small as looking...

What made me do this thread was this, the conflict between my values and reality. I think I shouldnt use my values in relationships that much, by this I dont say that I should cheat, but I gotta relax, take a step back and start talking to more girls, flirt with them in front of my gf, look at other girls and be like "hey, look at that girl, pretty sure she goes to the gym" and little comments like that. You know, showing preselection and that I see other people as attractive (I've refrained myself from doing this even though I can).

Tbh I dont know if she is doing this to see who is more desirable or not. Maybe she is just too young and stupid and I shouldnt be taking it too seriously. It is what it is, a relationship with a girl who is basically a teen.

Agree with the majority that she's 18 and she's curious and is craving attention, sooner or later she will cheat on you regardless of how amazing you are.

I do think you need to be a bit more chilled out. I was out with my GF a while back and she caught me checking out another girl. It's just kind of natural even when you're committed to someone to find others attractive. I would agree with you though that it's BS if she has a bunch of orbiters because that means she is putting herself in a position of dominance by having background options. You can't really change that when it's so extreme as all over FB and real life. You'll always be struggling to control a b*tch like that. Best to dump her and move on.

Bolded: that changed as soon as I put up the boundaries. Now, whenever she posts, is normal to get white knight comments and shiet, but her responses are a lot more neutral.
In real life, I see a change but is too soon to say that is good enough.

She will cheat? Who knows, maybe she does, maybe she doesnt. Its a win-win situation as I see it.
She cheats=I get other girls while I had fun with her.
She doesnt cheat=good, im still showing im desirable.

And agree, I need to chill out.

 

[Fugitive]

^ The change needs to be such that she shows exclusivity to you. She should be ignoring the white knights on her FB/phone and they will soon disappear. That's her showing exclusivity. If she can't do that then next her.