gf broke up with me

[Bryce556]

so everything was going great. i know i was getting A bit cligny but she said she broke up with me because of her and everything. I was in love with her. i know its sounds AFC but im at a loss i have no idea what to do becuase in my mind their was no reason to break up. she says shes needs time single and for herself and she loves me but cant be with me. she wants to be friends and stuff but its hard for me.

i was allways spinning plates and shes the first girl i met that i wanted to comit to fully. and i did i let her in and now i feel like crap. i normally never care and as soon as i started careing this happens. i dont even know what to do with my life anymore. i feel like i lost a part of myself that ill never get back. i had the perfect girl and i lost her. she says she dosent want to date anyone and whatnot. and told me in some time maybe we can get back together. but then i cant see why not now?? i donno what to do anymore... i feel like i could just jump off a bridge or die.

 

[Recon]

Hey bud, read this It helped my friend through a very tough break-up.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=155594

 

[SickAgain]

Give it time brother. You'll be fine. Just try to convince yourself that you didn't love her, you just really liked her a lot. yeah, thats the ticket.

 

[Fingerling]

sounds like classic stuff
as hard as it sounds at the moment just try to keep busy and talk to friends about it. you've got to try move on without the whole begging thing as that doesn't work.

maybe even try take some girls out to take your mind off things.

 

[vagrant]

I feel you bro. I'm going through the same exact situation, only I'm 3 months ahead of you. She's young and she wants to experience a lot of things. She'll find another boyfriend sooner or later trust me. My ex already did. It kills me bro, but I'm sure one day she'll come crawling back. I'm sure of it. She won't find another guy who can do it like I can. She couldn't even answer my calls, because she said she falls for me all over again, specially when she sees me. I know it's crazy. She was my girlfriend for 4 years. I'm telling you, we had a connection that I sometimes feel I won't be able to find with another girl ever again. Secretly she wants to know if I'm really the one, and if so she believes we'll end up together no matter what. The thing is with young girls, and even I'm guilty of it is the curiosity or something like that. They don't want to feel like their stuck in the middle of nowhere. They want to have fun. They look to their friends and try to live the way their friends do. They want to feel like they are living their lives to the fullest, and being in a relationship doesn't make them feel that way.


Accept the fact that young girls want to make out with a lot of hot guys and even get f*cked. Live your life, and let her live hers. It doesn't have to be your motivation but in the end let her know she made the worst decision of her life or that you really are the man. This is the time for you to go after your dream. Don't ever get back in any relationship at all. Do so only when you're old enough to settle down, once you can take care of yourself financially. If you do your work and become the best man that you can be I believe that you will be able to find and keep a really really really wonderful woman and be in a really great relationship. You gotta be what you wanna have, period.


Right now, just let it all out. It's really tough what you're dealing with but when you do come out, trust me you'll feel like a better man, and the last thing you'll worry about is.."what the hell are you gonna do with her when she comes crawling back to you?". She may not be all that by then, and you already have someone way better or you're just plain not interested because your dream is more important than her. Hey, you know where to find me when one day you find out and realize.."man, Vagrant is absolutely Right!". :rockon:

 

[trent81]

You're an idiot if you kill yourself over a bich. She is gone, not coming back. They never do. If they break up with you, they are gone. If you break up with them, you can't shake them, they are like herpes. A girl is a fickle creature. Once she loses attraction, she is gone. BUT; there is a way to make your chances of getting her back improve by over 60 percent. ARE YOU READY?

You have to do this no matter what and very, very soon.


GET ANOTHER GIRL, ANY GIRL. I DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR HER TO ACT LIKE YOUR GIRL. MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS ABOUT IT, SHE SEES YOU WITH HER, HEARS ABOUT HER.

IF YOU GET ANOTHER GIRL, ESPECIALLY THIS QUICK, IT DOES SOMETHING TO A FEMALE;;;;;;;IT'S CALLED JEALOUSY, THE MOST POWERFUL EMOTION IN A WOMAN.

No guarantees mate, just higher odds. You have a good chance if you act quickly. Most guys think another girl would make her mad and more upset, it actually has the other effect. It makes her doubt her decisions.

 

[scrouds]

GET ANOTHER GIRL, ANY GIRL. I DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR HER TO ACT LIKE YOUR GIRL. MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS ABOUT IT, SHE SEES YOU WITH HER, HEARS ABOUT HER.

IF YOU GET ANOTHER GIRL, ESPECIALLY THIS QUICK, IT DOES SOMETHING TO A FEMALE;;;;;;;IT'S CALLED JEALOUSY, THE MOST POWERFUL EMOTION IN A WOMAN..

You're best revenge is living well. There's a thread on here somewhere with that title. Put it to good use, develop yourself.

 

[Da Realist]

I was wondering what happened with you and this girl and now I see how it turned out. Man, truthfully this wasn't totally your fault. You may have gotten clingy, but that's understandable with everything that happened. You wanted to get her out of a bad situation and you're feeling bad because it didn't work. The thing is that it was out of your hands and you just have to count this as a learning experience.

The thing about women in abusive homes is that they don't feel good about having a happy relationship because of the negativity surrounding them. They lose hope about stuff and since you're the only thing they can control, you get the short end of the stick. Don't take this as gospel, but I think what will happen is that eventhough she broke up with you, she'll want to you to be around so you can listen to her when she needs to vent about what's going on. The thing is that starting right now, you disappear. You may think you're making things better by sticking around with her, but it makes things worse for both of you.

It gets bad for you because as long as you're around she'll never get the inner strength to get out of the situation herself because she has you for a crutch, and that will put more pressure on you trying to hold her and yourself together when you don't have the strength. You'll sink further into hopelessness because you're trying to control a situation you don't have a hand in. Always remember that if you're not at full strength, you're in no position to help anyone, so take time to re-focus yourself.

Now, how it wil hurt her if you stick around is that she has to get the courage from herself to get away. An abuser is only as strong as the victime lets them be, and she has to realize this for herself. It may take the one good guy she's had not being around because of her own choices to do it.

So to sum it up, if you want to get control of everything, remove yourself completely from her and let the whole situation go. Go out with some other women, enjoy being a personal trainer and life in general, and do not talk to this girl until she's gotten out of her situation (even then stay on your guard).

In the future though, avoid being clingy. The thing I've learned is to be more of a resting spot than a personal problem solver. Working on a woman's problems reminds them of all the stress they're going through and it drives them up a wall. Being a refuge is more like being a personal vacation spot they will run to when they get stressed out, and if they get stressed out often guess how mch they will be running to you. As men we feel we should face things with honor and discipline, but women are wired to run to pleasure vs. pain more than us, so use it. Either way, just don't sit waiting for her to come back because you need to build yourself back up again through doing positive things again.

 

[Formico]

Don't lose hope.

What you have to realize is that YOU ARE THE PRIZE and that any positive emotions that you felt toward her AROSE FROM INSIDE OF YOURSELF FIRST. Once you understand this, you'll be able to face any situation and know you will be able to get through it because YOU MAKE YOURSELF FEEL GOOD and not any woman, no matter how special she is to you, can take that from you.

 

[Bible_Belt]

i had the perfect girl and i lost her.


Welcome to being 18. As you grow older, you will discover that the world is full of perfect girls.

 

[Bryce556]

thanks guys for everything!. i posted this kinda at the spur of the moment yesterday, i'm feeling a bit better today.

Da Realist heres a little more on the situation, she did get out of that bad situation and was living with me for a period, yesterday night she took all her things and moved out. moved in with another girlfriend. she dident want to stick around cause she said she felt she would fall for me again if she did.

I was talking about things with another girl i started hanging with again ended up cuddling watching a movie with her. made me feel a bit better.

so i'm thinking the best thing to do is just not see her again at all? or should I stay friends with her hoping something happens in the future? keep her around and stuff.

I talked with her on the phone and she dose not seem upset at all about us breaking up. which dose bother me.

well see how things go... until that time back to no commitment relationships, and having fun?

 

[DJDamage]

so i'm thinking the best thing to do is just not see her again at all? or should I stay friends with her hoping something happens in the future? keep her around and stuff.

You can't handle the breakup and she is just giving you false hopes in order to not REALLY HURT YOU. Everything that she told you about the reasons for the breakup are mostly false, from this point on don't place a stock on what she tells you.

If you care about your sanity its best not to see her anymore, otherwise you are going to be eventually hearing/meeting her new man in her life and you are sure as hell not going to like it especially if you still believe that you have a shot with her.

I talked with her on the phone and she dose not seem upset at all about us breaking up. which dose bother me.

See, its insanity all over again. She is not upset because she feels good about the outcome of her decision otherwise she wouldn't have gone with it.

well see how things go... until that time back to no commitment relationships, and having fun?

Yes but not only have fun but also have some life and other hobbies outside of girls too. The problem is that many guys make their girlfriend their entire life and when she leaves they (like you) don't know what to do with themselves.

 

[romangod]

i had the perfect girl and i lost her.


Welcome to being 18. As you grow older, you will discover that the world is full of perfect girls.

Absolutely! :yes:

Except as you get wiser you'll realize there's no such thing as the perfect girl.


Cheers!

 

[Da Realist]

Oh, well if she's out of the house, forget her. She's moving on and used you for a jump off. Definitely leave her alone completely and go on with your life.

 

[zekko]

i had the perfect girl and i lost her.

If she broke up with you, she's not the perfect girl, is she?

 

[piranha45]

You got too clingy, you made yourself too available to her, you made her the prize, she realized this over time and dumped your AFC rear.

Walk away, never look back, move on to new women, and improve your Inner Game.