GF Broke-up With Me, What do I do now?

[sargent158]

Hey guys,

Before going out with my ex-gf we were talking for about a year, i asked her out and we were dating for 9 months, she broke up with me about 4 days ago because she is moving in like 3 months. The night it happend i was hurt, she wanted all her stuff back and putting all in the bag was freaking sad man. But i was like w/e **** happens, the next night i was feeling terrible and i called her and left a msg about how badly i was feeling..but she didnt call back. then the next day i sent her a text saying how i needed to talk to her but she didnt text me back. i havent hit her up since that night and i deleted her number from my phone so i wouldnt call or text her.

I dont know if im doing the right thing by not trying to get in contact with her, but i just wanted to get in contact with her so we can finish everything on a good note. my friends say not to, to forget and ignore her but she wasnt any other girl she was the one i loved and our relationship was on a other level.

I cant even believe she has the heart of not calling me knowing that im hurt but w/e i cant control that.

What can you guys tell me about this?

 

[kokane]

Just a quickie, what is your age?

 

[DJDamage]

What can you guys tell me about this?

I know you are hurting but I am going to lay some truth on you that won't sit well with you.

I say its a pretty typical behaviour for a woman with low interest who just broke up her relationship.

The thing is, it was a lie that she broke up with you because she was moving away in 3 months. It could be either of two things:

a) she developed over time low interest in you

b) she has a new man in her life.

In her mind she has already decided weeks before telling you the news that she broke up with you thus its very easy for her to ignore you while you are still in a state of shock. She has moved on two weeks ago.

Forget about closure and ending things in a good note. Nothing good would come out of this. I know you want to know exactly what happened that caused this breakup but she will never tell you the real reason and you are just going to be hurt even more.

Just move on with your life and forget her because this b1tch didn't even give you the lame 'LJBF's' line, she wanted you out of her life fast.

 

[Desdinova]

but i just wanted to get in contact with her so we can finish everything on a good note.

The relationship is already finished. Anything more is just beating a dead horse.

I cant even believe she has the heart of not calling me knowing that im hurt

She doesn't want to deal with the relationship anymore. To her, it's all finished. Contacting her is just going to piss her off.

The time has come where you have to quit giving a 5hit about her and start taking care of the mess he left YOU in. You need to work on moving on from this dead relationship instead of giving it CPR. Remember all those hobbies you abandoned when you started dating her? Time to go back to them. Remember all the friends you neglected to be with her? It's time to give them a call. You need to get your life back to the way it was before she showed up.

If you're feeling lonely, find a chick for rebound purposes. Then ditch her once you feel a bit stronger.

It'll get better, it always does as long as you make an effort to move on with your life.

 

[ima str8 up pimp]

I personally have been out of a serious relationship for nearly 4 months now. We had even moved in together and all the business. I feel I bounced back rather quickly. I feel excellent, improving, dealing with an insane estranged lover albeit a lover nontheless, getting my money, start business school next month, and improving my capabilities within the female psyche. This here is a song that I would listen to for just about a month straight once or so a day(after the initial break).. It really makes sense albeit it is a rap song for you white flavor folks.. It makes alot of sense and gives the pointers right on the money. The main motivation of sorts that is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KrhEu66Bnk

I copied and pasted this from the thread I posted about the situation you're in. The link is to a song. Depending on whether you like rap or not it will help you or have no effect. Basically you need to make it a personal matter and improve yourself accordingly, it's even more shameful to have to post about it on this website.

Jorge Gonzalez

 

[JCballin88]

What do you do now? Man the **** up and and get a hold of yourself.

Read this:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=160056

When you get to that topic, I would suggest also reading the "Just Got Dumped" guide and the "Ultimate Break-up Guide."

I had a girl who I was so happy with give me the "let's just be friends" speech last week. Yes, it sucks. Trust me - my relationship wasn't as long as yours but when you have that open void again, it can be really scathing.

Start doing stuff to keep yourself busy. Get rid of your pictures, notes, gifts, and any other stuff that will bring up old pains of being with her. Hit the gym, play a sport, hang out with your guy friends, etc.

What I did last week to keep myself busy here at college was get a 2nd job and try out for the baseball team. I didn't make the team but it was still a cool experience and I made a few more friends in the process.

Although it may be a little tough, start approaching new girls. Don't put too much pressure on yourself early - just get back in the groove of being social again and keeping your options open.

Good luck man - right now it sucks, but it'll get better as time goes on. Just remember - don't contact her and go do things that you enjoy.

 

[sargent158]

damn you guys are right on the money thank you so much, b!tches be crazy.

 

[1337]

do no contact and move on trust me. Now you got 99 problems but a b1tch ain't one.

 

[Joe Stud]

You are looking for closure... forget it. she doesnt want to deal with you. You are digging yourself deeper by trying to contact her. By calling her to tell her how bad you are feeling, you are coming off needy, and you dont want that my friend. Move on. If the finality of it is hard for you to swallow... tell yourself you are gonna cut contact for 1 month, and then re-evaluate. minigoal yourself away from her... wean yourself. Easier said than done, but necessary and NOT impossible. Good luck

 

[Energizer]

If you're feeling lonely, find a chick for rebound purposes. Then ditch her once you feel a bit stronger.

This is worst piece of advice I've heard.

 

[Desdinova]

This is worst piece of advice I've heard.

Care to explain why?

 

[Energizer]

Care to explain why?

I've tried it and not only did I hurt a thoroughly decent woman, I wound up feeling *****ier than I did prior the 'engagement'.

Your piece of advice was as about as smart as telling him to get go get wasted six days a week to forget about this woman.

 

[Jean Valjean]

sarge

you need to just forget her and move on. As the posters indicated she gave up on you a while back before the breakup for whatever reason (boredom, incompatibility, new guy on the block etc) and simply does not want to put any more effort into talking to you and getting your hopes up or having to explain what is a difficult to explain - you're not what I want - go away please -

Do no contact - find reasons to dislike her it will make it easier to foreget her and say good riddance.

So do this:
No Contact
Move on and forget her
Find other interests and see about dating other ladies.

 

[Desdinova]

I've tried it and not only did I hurt a thoroughly decent woman, I wound up feeling *****ier than I did prior the 'engagement'.

While that may have been your experience, it certainly wasn't mine. I rebounded with a woman, told her that I'm not wanting a relationship, and she stupidly invested more emotion into it that she should have. I made it very clear what she was getting into. I am NOT responsible for what she did with her emotions.

If you're going to rebound, at least let her know where you stand. That way, she can prevent herself from getting too involved. If she doesn't do that, you're not the one to blame.

 

[penkitten]

chicks can be very cruel.
if you think it's cruel how she just ended it the way she did, wait and see how cruel she ends up being if you keep coming around trying to get some closure and answers.
so far, you are doing great by letting her go and not contacting her.

this is a life lesson.
it's also a very hurtful one when you really have feelings for someone.
heart breaks are horrible, but they don't kill you.
give it some time, and i am sure you will see that you will bounce right back out of this.

 

[Interceptor]

It is a hard lesson when you realize that your feelings were misplaced.
But understand that this woman chose to leave you, so there must be a resolution in your heart and mind that you can no longer invest so much of yourself in someone who doesnt want to be with you.
People have free will. And they have every right to walk away from a relationship.
If someone walks away from you then at some point you must understand that this person is not the one you should be with.

While we can have affection and kindness still for someone who has left us, we cant be so loose in our personal boundaries where we just let our valueable resources just drain out of us for that person.
Its not smart. Its not healthy. And it just adds more unneccesary pain to our lives.

If someone choose to not be with us, we have to be strong enough to really hear them, and allow them to choose.
We should also recognize our right and responsibility to thrive in live, and not have to suffer for people who have chosen to not love us the way we need to be loved.

So its ok to feel feelings for someone who is gone from your life.
It really is.
But at some point you must get back up , really, I mean really LOOK at your situation, and realize that in a way, a person who does not love you and has left your life is a Gift.
I know it sounds crazy. But its not.

It is a gift.

They have revealed who they are, AND most importantly that no matter how 'hawt' she may be, she cannot give us what we want and need.

A person who couldnt love us and be with us and offer us the companionship we need will only be a drain on us. Not an asset and one who enhances our lives.
Let her go and let her find someone compatible for herself, and you let her go and let yourself be open to find and receive a good woman who DOES want to be with you and WILL put in the time and effort to be with you and BE the woman that brings you happiness.

So let people who somehow in some way drain our resources GO.
Let them go.

Our resources are precious. And we dont just throw them away on anyone.

Let us respect ourselves, our resources and do the right thing with the right partner.

Dont waste any more time and energy and lose valueable Peace of Mind on someone who has chosen to not be with you.
Forgive them and let them go.
Forgive yourself for the choices you made because you made them under certain assumptions. And you know what?
You were wrong.

And its ok. Its ok to be wrong and make mistakes.

Its not ok to disrepect and dishonor yourself, and to disrespect and dishonor the person who chose to walk away.

It IS a hard lesson. But it is one of the biggest lesson we NEED to experience in order to finally recognize our value and worth, what we want in life and our of relationships, and how to manage our resources ultimately.

Its about becoming a Man. A responsible Man. A MATURE Man.

Its all in life, brother. Every part of it. Every experience. Every smile, laugh, and tear, my brother.

Each of those things IS VALUEABLE.

But one thing is not necessary.

To suffer needlessly.

Dont suffer needlessly, brother.

Think these things through and let your heart heal, and regain your peace of mind. And promise you will always honor and respect yourself in relationships.
And allow other to make their choices. Honor their place in life. No matter how fvked up and misguided they may appear to you.
They are not you. And they have every right, like you, to make mistakes, and go through whatever lesson they need to go through.They must be allowed to make their choices, and LIVE with them.
Life is for the living. So live, man.
Live in this moment.


You will benefit from going through all these things by staying a good man.
NOT a 'nice guy'. But a Good Man.
Let her deal with losing out on a good man. She may never recognize you for who you are, and what you offer women. It will be her loss.
And we must make peace with that.
We must.
Its part of life.

I hope this helps you in some way, and that your heart heals quicker because of it and also, you become Stronger, more savvy, more understanding, more shrewd, have stronger boundaries, manage your resources better, and gain the necessary skills to navigate this wild ride we call Life.