Getting your life in order and dating....

[trent81]

Well, I got laid off from my job a month ago. I am living in a city where there is very little jobs. I'm about to lose my house and gonna go back to the parents until I find another job in another city. Needless to say, I have been feeling blue and unconfident. I am worried about financial troubles. But my love for women wants me to pursue them. I find myself in a dillema. I have little money to spend on them, I have very little to offer them (security, confidence, etc.) right now. That is to say temporarily. But I want to date girls, I want to sleep with girls, and hang out with girls. I am stuck in between a rock and a hard place. I think I should worry about getting my life in order, moving, finding a new job. But a part of me still wants to go out, and date girls. What would you recommend? Do you think it would be wiser to hold off on the dates till I leave this city and get my career going? I just don't see the point of going on a date and explaining to a woman what the economy and life has done to some people like me. I don't want to tell her I am losing my house or I may declare bk or that I can't find a job here. I know I will find something somewhere else. But right now, I just feel like my life is chaos and I shouldn't mess with chicks. Is this normal? Would you recommend getting the finances straightened out before anything else. I am taking care of myself and love myself but sometimes bad things happen to good people and I have to start over. This has discouraged me. What's the point of dating someone if you are leaving? If you are broke? If you cannot provide right now. But I'm also worried that I am getting too old. Any opinions would be appreciate it. Would it be smarter to stay away from chicks till I get back on my feet? Thanks. And no, I'm no longer messing with that woman I wrote about.

 

[Nelford]

I lost my job and house and had to move back home with moms. It didn't stop me from dating. My money was very limited, but I still manage to date and have a good time. My bills where not going anywhere so why be depressed about it. I knew a lot about nutrition and fitness so I started helping people get in shape. The money wasn't a lot but it help me until I found the job that I currently have. I met so many women while doing this and spent most of dates at their house instead of going out spending money. When I saved up then we would go out. I didn't care how they felt about it. Most of my friends growing up where always in trouble, live at home and never had a job but they always had a 10's wrap around their arms.

My advice bro is to work with what you got and keep moving foward with getting you life back on track.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Obviously, you have to prioritize getting your own life together - you come first.

On the other hand, even when you do look better on paper, that really has very little to do with your success with women. Yes, you will do better with girls after you get a new job, but that is more because of the confidence it brings than anything else. The most important things you can offer a woman are intangible:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=1501302&postcount=8

 

[MatureDJ]

I have asked women that I would want to date if they would date an unemployed man. All have said no. It seems very important to women that their man have a job. This causes a quandary for me as I am semi-retired and go for long periods without earning an income.

 

[scrouds]

I have asked women that I would want to date if they would date an unemployed man. All have said no. It seems very important to women that their man have a job. This causes a quandary for me as I am semi-retired and go for long periods without earning an income.

Ha! Don't listen to women, they can't verbalize what they really want, mostly because they don't know themselves.

 

[Heretolearn]

I have asked women that I would want to date if they would date an unemployed man. All have said no. It seems very important to women that their man have a job. This causes a quandary for me as I am semi-retired and go for long periods without earning an income.

Look at girls actions not their words. ALl about your confidence and energy.

If you believe it, they will too and vice versa

 

[Andy_Dufresne]

I am stuck in between a rock and a hard place. I think I should worry about getting my life in order, moving, finding a new job. But a part of me still wants to go out, and date girls. What would you recommend?

Hard as it is....don't date. You are in no position to attract quality women right now. I've been in this scenario, all you are going to do is come across as desperate. You might be bored and something may fall into your lap, but you will find out very quickly that it is only a panacea, and you won't end up with what you want.

This is a time to prioritize and focus.

 

[SoylentGreen]

Trent81--->
I'm in the same position sort of. I was about to start a thread similar to yours. I have a job but I need a better one, and no one is hiring. I can barely afford to go out more than once a week. On that ONE day a week it is getting increasingly harder to get phone numbers etc. I have been going out once a week from about 10pm - 2am approximately four hours. Its hard for me to ALWAYS get a number in four hours and then even if I do, with the low pay I have, I wonder what I'll do beyond getting their numbers.
I can't always afford the gas, or restaurants etc and I don't always want to bring the girl back to my place as it is summer and I feel that we should be out having fun.

The dilemma for me is similar to yours:
Do I just waste my summer away by saving and not worrying about girls until the fall?
OR:
Do I just keep doing what I'm doing, (trying to get phone numbers) and tell the girls that I meet that I can't see them until NEXT week because I can't even afford dinner or gas? And then when next week comes and I still can't afford going out what do I do?

Everyone tells me that the right girl wouldn't care about my pay rate or economic status but I am not looking for the "right" girl all the time and anyways I think ALL women want a self-sufficient and capable man.

I'm almost considering NOT hitting on girls until I am safely working at a better higher paying job...But then again, I have made tons of excuses in the past for not hitting on women and I don't want this lack of financial stability to be yet another reason I am not getting laid. Decisions, decisions.

I'd have to agree with Andy Dufresne and NOT go out and date at the moment. I guess its a time of focusing on priorities and moving forward. I just don't want to go another year without any women in my life...THAT is not a good thought as it negates EVERY reason I even visit this site, to help me get women...like I said: decisions, decisions

 

[Zonder]

Hard as it is....don't date. You are in no position to attract quality women right now. I've been in this scenario, all you are going to do is come across as desperate. You might be bored and something may fall into your lap, but you will find out very quickly that it is only a panacea, and you won't end up with what you want.

This is a time to prioritize and focus.

I agree. By trying to actively date quality women you will not only end up frustrated and dissatisfied but will even limit the time you have to spend on job seeking.

 

[Zonder]

The dilemma for me is similar to yours:
Do I just waste my summer away by saving and not worrying about girls until the fall?
OR:
Do I just keep doing what I'm doing, (trying to get phone numbers) and tell the girls that I meet that I can't see them until NEXT week because I can't even afford dinner or gas? And then when next week comes and I still can't afford going out what do I do?

Women have no business asking how much you make. The way they see you they should not be able to tell if you're making 1K or 100K a month. Don't even think of bringing it up and if she asks then it's a good time to eject. Even gold diggers should be bright enough not to ask that kind of question on the first date.

Work on your social skills until you are able to talk to women anywhere: grocery store, on the street, everywhere. Just getting numbers shouldn't cost you money at all. That way you will be able to go out wherever you want once you do ask her out.

A major rule I have is not to take women out on expensive dates for a first date. I often take girls out for coffee and a few other very inexpensive places until I get to know them better. If you combine that with the free numbers you will be able to date as much as you want and still go out and splurge once a week.