Getting wife to dress more slutty and accentuate tits/ass

[BetterCallSaul]

I know there's some guys here who have experience with this, and I need some help. Over the past couple years I've been slowly working to get the wife to dress more sexy (ie: slutty) for me and do more of the little things that women traditionally do..tighter dress, nails just done, maybe just a bit of eyeliner for that slightly more slutty look that I like.

I do not expect her to dress like this all the time. Only on the occasional night out. Well we were talking a lot last night and happened to get on this topic. She still feels kinda uncomfortable dressing like that because she doesn't want other men looking at her with the "i gotta f*ck her right now" look. All women when they are younger have no problem doing this, and she didn't either. But now that she's older it's like she's forgotten how all that works.

She did say she has a little trouble reconciling being a good wife and mother in a religious upbringing. Yes our family is religious, we try to go to church every Sunday, but usually it's like 2 or 3 sundays a month. I appreciate she's at least telling me this and that she's trying to set a good example for our daughters. She made a good point though that she is trying to instill modest values in our daughters, our oldest one especially, about dressing modestly. I am supportive of this. So she voiced the problem being that if our daughters see her dressing in the way I want her to, it will be confusing for them.

I suggested maybe leaving and having her change in the car. She wasn't too fond of the idea. She is also a bit hung up on other guys staring out her like a piece of meat. I explained to her that this is something I consider to be the highest compliment, let those other guys go home and jerk off thinking about you. She still wasn't too enthusiastic. I then told her to just stop overthinking it and trust me for once. She didn't say anything after that, so maybe that's the angle I need to use.

I've been very supportive of her going back and doing her regular aerobics workouts again and want her to continue. I make sure to reward her with plenty of sexy time attention every night after she works out. But I think I need some other ideas here.

 

[BeExcellent]

You can be dressed sexy and still be modest. It's actually more exciting to many men.

I'm headed out but will comment more tomorrow.

My first initial thought is that it is of value for your daughters to have an appreciation for healthy sexuality within the marriage. They need to see that part of the dynamic. You & your wife can help them appreciate how special it is.

 

[Charmaine]

Get her to dress like that only in the bedroom where only you can see. Problem solved.

 

[CMNILS87]

1. Start with asking her to wear super sexy underwear during the day and wear a sexy pair to bed so you can feel her up and pinch that booty. From the start with girl I've been dating, I've told her I like sexy bras and lace cheekies. She always likes to make me happy/impress me and teases me about it. I think basically you guys have been together so long now that she's too comfortable and is ok with coming home and putting sweats on.

2. I'm not sure what @BeExcellent is going to say. But start with small things like the panties to bed and on date nights. Give lots of compliments and tell her you're gonna buy some more for her and kinda go from there.

3.With the workouts, you need to lead by example. You should be hitting the gym hard and letting her know that you want her to get into good shape too. My girl knows I workout daily and I send her the pics of the sweat stains on the concrete floor. It pushes her to workout out hard too. I think when you workout extensively it becomes a covert contract to her that she better have her ass in gear or else. Or you can always have that chat and say you want her to work out more cause you like a curvy butt. You're already in maintenance mode for the relationship/marriage so it'll take a bunch of work to change behaviors/habits.

4. The whole not dressing sexy and instilling modest value in your kids is s bunch of bull****. All girls like to get dressed up in that sexy black dress. That's a cop out for being lazy and not wanting to do it or she's put on weight. My mom goes out with my dad is Tight dresses on date night/xmas/Easter and she's 53. A little heavier now, but all of us kids are like.....damn mom, you look good.

She's gotten lazy and it's time to right the ship. She's gotten complacent in the marriage. You gotta keep her on her toes.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Read the Song of Solomon for your next Bible study. It's like soft-core porn.

 

[Rainman4707]

About 18 months ago I started thinking the same thing as you. I was going to post a thread about my thoughts, but decided i would leave it & have'nt thought about it since. The following were my thoughts at the time - my gf is Irish. About 5'10, long legs, plump round ass, great tits, stylish hair & beautiful face.
You guys will probs know that these leggings that women wear, go see- through after a little use, so most women wear a long jumper or top that covers their butt so guys won't get a good look unless the girl bends over.
Anyway i was having thoughts about taking my GF out of town to a pub. I was thinking about her wearing, her most see through leggings, but no jumper or top to cover her. She will be wearing a thong underneath. I wanted her to wear a unbuttoned jacket so her nipples are visable through her white shirt.
We can walk in to the bar. It turns me on thinking that behind us, a few people can see through her leggings.

 

[BeExcellent]

I guess my first question is has she always been modest like this or has she lost her inner siren?

I agree whole heartedly with @CMNILS87 and point #4. It is a pleasure to dress up and go out. My kids react the same way. Wow Mom you look good. My ex still enjoys walking into a place with me looking sexy and the way heads turn. He loves it. The man I was recently seeing loved it too. I think too many women fundamentally don't understand how it is a source of pride for a man to be seen with an alluring woman.

As much as men here say to guys "Be the prize" let's face it. Men are competitive and give unspoken props when they see another man with a beautiful woman. This is doubly true if she is your wife & devoted to you. It says "Yup. I da MAN!" without you saying a word.

If your wife is resistant to this it may be that you are not great at picking out an outfit that hits the right notes for HER. Remember that not only do women dress for their men, they also dress for other women.

Your wife doesn't want to appear cheap or sl utty to other women. She fears disdain perhaps from feeling as though she has cheapened herself. She also is not terribly confident in flaunting her sexy side publicly where other men can see it (either out of bashfulness or out of fear she might enjoy it)

This can operate at a subconscious level with women who ever received messages say, growing up, that sexuality is sinful, of the flesh, banal or so forth. Modern religion can do quite a number shaming people about sexuality. That doesn't just magically vanish on the wedding night.

That might be way off base, but I have a sister for whom that is true. Been married to her college sweetheart for 20 years. Always somewhat ashamed of her sexuality, never wears make up even. Was a D1 varsity cheerleader at a major state university. Hated wearing make up for cheer even (although she did).

Here's my suggestion. Take her shopping for a "WOW" dress, and possibly a great pair of shoes.

Whatever your price point is it is, but women love a dress/heels they feel good in. If you or she is frugal go somewhere she can find something discounted. In NYC think Century21 or Filene's Basement; think good consignment stores on the upper East side; if you are near Philly or Austin there are Neiman's outlets, in many places there is My Sister's Closet etc.

Here are some designers who as a matter of course make dresses that flatter & accentuate the female form: Diane Von Furstenberg, J. McLaughlin, Tory Burch. Retail for those is a couple to few hundred dollars.

Higher end than that look at Herve Leger (very very expensive but you can find at high end discounters or even online), Roberto Cavali or Alaia. Full retail is thousands of dollars so unless you are really loaded don't pay retail (EBay will have things FYI) but these are designers who create uber sexy and yet uber classy styles that are va VOOM but not cheap looking.

Google those designers with your wife & see what you both like. Make it fun.

Less expensive labels include Bebe and BCBGMaxAzria.

Tell her you find her sexy & really enjoy showing her off when she is all decked out. Encourage her. Let her know how manly you feel when she accentuates her womanly figure and wears a little eyeliner & lipstick. Even a basic "little black dress" or a basic red dress (with candy apple red lipstick) can be magic.

But be aware that women don't like to feel like they look cheap. This manifests in fabrics, cuts & styles. My ex husband would sometimes shop for me. Like you he loved seeing me in things that showed off the boobs & derrière and the shorter the better (I have great legs). But he didn't get the context that cut & quality & fabric convey things too. I can wear a tight short dress with an alluring neckline...but the TYPE of dress makes all the difference.

Take her shopping for 2 outfits.

1. Basic little black or red dress
2. Pencil skirt & snug v neck top (think sexy librarian)

Have fun with it. Play. See what she is comfortable in and what you find hot.

 

[Rainman4707]

I guess my first question is has she always been modest like this or has she lost her inner siren?

I agree whole heartedly with @CMNILS87 and point #4. It is a pleasure to dress up and go out. My kids react the same way. Wow Mom you look good. My ex still enjoys walking into a place with me looking sexy and the way heads turn. He loves it. The man I was recently seeing loved it too. I think too many women fundamentally don't understand how it is a source of pride for a man to be seen with an alluring woman.

As much as men here say to guys "Be the prize" let's face it. Men are competitive and give unspoken props when they see another man with a beautiful woman. This is doubly true if she is your wife & devoted to you. It says "Yup. I da MAN!" without you saying a word.

My gf bought some dresses for our holiday a couple years ago. I think they were maxi dresses, but it was very thin material, so it really showed her figure. I thought she looked very sexy. I felt proud. A feeling of she is mine, hands off.

p.s Be prepared though. On our first night on holiday, my gf wore a dress with a long circular hole in the middle. It didn't reveal to much cleveage, just the right amount in my opinion. A little way into our meal, her body language looked uncomfortable, I asked her what was wrong, she shrugged it off a few times, but then told me that the guy who was on the table adjacent to us kept looking at her. he was sat with one other male & two females
I thought back to when she was trying on her new dresses back home in her house with me, she showed me one orange dress that night that was thin material. To be honest it looked great on her, very sexy, but I thought it was a little see through. I could see the outline of her nipples. She knew what I thought.

Back in the restaurant I had looked over at this guys table & did'nt see anything so told her "if you wear revealing dresses guys are going to look. A little later on, she couldn't enjoy her candlelit dinner kept saying the guy was so rude, that he was looking at her like piece of meat, I turned my chair around so I could get a good look at his table & noticed that he was having a good look at my gf, a kind of creepy look. He was just staring at her. That pi**ed me off, if he hadn't of stopped looking at her that second I would of confronted him. Even one of the girls on his table Said to him "is something wrong?" I was getting angry at him & also because earlier i'd wrongly thought he was just having the odd look over, not realising he was a creep. I didn't want to get chucked out of the 5* hotel on our first night by causing a scene on our first night, but I was still thinking about having a word with him or maybe even kicking his ass.

We had finished our night not long after I was having these thoughts. If I had seen him around the complex I might of confronted him, but like I say, we had payed a lot of money for this trip & didn't want to get kicked out. Anyway we went back to hotel room, had a chat, then it turned me on thinking that I was viewing my gf through his eyes in the restaraunt, so I thought about him looking at her big bouncy tits, wondering what her nipples look like, what her boobs look like, then in the hotel room, I held her, smelled her, thinking as though he had morphed into my body. Thinking "oh how lucky am i, i'm getting to do all this & she dose'nt even realise i'm not her bf, i'm the creepy guy in the bar who she never thinks will get to see her breasts in the flesh. Kissed her little lips, grabbed her big ass, then done what I knew he wanted to do so much. I lay down on the bed & instructed her to sit on me. I undid her top straps of her dress & let the puppies come out to play. The full whole pinkness of her fresh, ripe nipples, The whole flesh of her big tits there to be seen, laid bare & exposed. Then we fu*ked.

I think there is a film with Pamela Anderson where she is a painter & she dislikes her bf's boss, anyway the boss morphes into the bf's body & secretly gets to fu*k her.


I learnt a lesson that night. I feel sorry for the next guy who looks to much. Also I might allow her to wear the orange revealing dress on our holiday in a few month.

 

[wjh]

This issue brewed in my marriage for years, and is essentially the reason we got a divorce. I live in a place where I can walk around and see women wearing things I like dozens of times a day, and my wife wouldn't. There's a lot more here, and I definitely gave it a good effort, but ultimately it didn't work and I wasn't going to change what my sexual requirements were.

She was also very religious in her childhood, would moralize sexuality, was way too body conscious and cared too much about what other people thought (in other ways too).

For me this was a big enough issue that I wasn't happy and our marriage ended as a result. I tried for a lot longer than I probably should have, I tried very hard. I won't next time. Either a woman is easily and more organically into this, or she's not and I'm not interested. Looking back, I just don't think I realized how important it was to me earlier on and thought that she would somehow, after enough clever manipulation (like buying her things, trying shopping with her, excessive compliments, etc) that she would come around. She never did. That's the lesson I understood about other things, but because I thought about how this wasn't an issue in previous relationships, assumed it wasn't a big deal in this one... and eventually it just failed.

 

[BeExcellent]

That's a bummer. I do agree there are women who just can't wrap their head around satisfying their man this way.

I love to be a sexy accessory for my man out and about. It benefits him in so many ways & just makes him very happy. I honestly have a hard time understanding why a wife wouldn't please her husband in this manner. It's so simple to do & so important.

Plus I get to be all dressed up & go somewhere with him! A win-win (and when you get home...winning again)

 

[Bible_Belt]

Sexy clothes will have two categories - that which may be worn in public and that which may not. Online ordering is a crap shoot, but it gets easier if you can find a brand you like. My last gf was chunky with huge boobs. Evogues was a brand she liked. snaz75.com is a great site as well...because every woman needs some clear stripper heels.

 

[wjh]

That's a bummer. I do agree there are women who just can't wrap their head around satisfying their man this way.

I love to be a sexy accessory for my man out and about. It benefits him in so many ways & just makes him very happy. I honestly have a hard time understanding why a wife wouldn't please her husband in this manner. It's so simple to do & so important.

I actually disagree with some of the reasons you stated in your earlier point, and here a bit, about props from other guys and how part of this was motivated by recognition from other men. I had no interest for what other guys thought about my wife one way or another. It was very much for me an aesthetic preference, and it required a certain openness and vulnerability about our sexuality that I simply wanted to be easier to broach. It was often as if I was requesting something catastrophically unreasonable. Ultimately, I think I just chose poorly, and didn't consider this heavily enough in my decision to be with her. It impacted our sex life, which I was never really satisfied with. This idea that somehow I should have just accepted her when she looked like **** or dressed asexually, or made "love" to her and not just had fun sex, or that watching porn is effectively cheating, and other silly notions that don't resonate at all with me were in and of themselves not reason enough for me. But when I was told I needed to change and that she would never ever wear something she didn't want... I knew it was over, and probably had been over for some time.

 

[BeExcellent]

I think your posts are really important because they point to the importance of picking a woman who you can be happy with as she is as well as honoring what you need as a man & why you need it.

That's can be a tall order for men who might not yet have themselves sorted out to the point where they realize just what things have some negotiating territory & what things do not when choosing a woman.

Was your ex wife always so reserved @wjh or did she act differently than her true nature before you got married?

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Thanks for the good feedback. It should be worth noting that one of the dresses I liked and showed her she did order. The problem was the type of dress I really liked we cant seem to find in any of our local stores. So she ordered, it came in and didn't fit. So she returned it and bought a different one. A little tighter, not the same style, but had nice spaghetti strap weave around her tits so that was good. I guess I just have a certain style of women's dresses that really gets me going. She is up to trying things, but I guess I have to gently push her a bit to get her to try more....the slutty eyeliner for example.

Also here is an example of the dress I have in mind. Not sure if this link will work though. What does this say about my personality?

http://www.neimanmarcus.com/Aidan-b...nts%3D723&eItemId=prod201200446&cmCat=product

 

[AAAgent]

I'll trade you a few of these hoes for your great wife lol

I do understand bettercallsaul. I've had a crazy ex and a couple of sexy girls that I dated. Sex is great but they are not wifey material. And now I have my fiance, super boring, doesn't drink much, doesn't like to party, doesn't like to dress sexy and prefers cute.

It's a tradeoff. Can't have your cake and eat it too.

 

[wjh]

I think your posts are really important because they point to the importance of picking a woman who you can be happy with as she is as well as honoring what you need as a man & why you need it.

That's can be a tall order for men who might not yet have themselves sorted out to the point where they realize just what things have some negotiating territory & what things do not when choosing a woman.

Was your ex wife always so reserved @wjh or did she act differently than her true nature before you got married?

It's hard to say. I know that sounds weird, but I find it difficult to accept the term "reserved." Here's what I mean, I don't believe it was just that she had a somewhat modest style and just disagreed with my style chouices. The issue was much deeper than that and I think there was an aspect of control that she couldn't relinquish. I remember one of the first interactions I had with her on this very subject - I showed her a pair of short shorts I wanted to buy her and her reaction was much more intense than I was expecting, and I essentially just reduced the conversation to a silly quirk. It wasn't until much later that I realized this was going to be much more difficult to resolve. I thought there was some marginal improvement, occasionally enough, where maybe she would turn around and embrace some of this. But all that marginal improvement was fleeting, and her attempts to satisfy me with the hope that I wouldn't ask again. She never did embrace it. She very rarely proactively attempted to arouse me in this way. I hated asking because I knew what her reaction was going to be, and it just wasn't fun.

She struggled very much with sexuality in general, though. I remember not that long ago bringing up the idea of ****, just to explore it in conversation, and she felt threatened just by the discussion to the point where she immediately suggested I was requiring that we embrace some lifestyle and therefor I wasn't happy with her. She really took it to another level that was a complete overreaction. It couldn't just be a moment where we play in the sexual fantasy of some **** themes, no, it was immediately a threat. Same with porn, and with sexy outfits, or sex toys, or taking pictures, it just always seemed that there was something more for her to feel threatened by. The reality, ironically, is that is she should have felt threatened and for different reasons. I was clearly not happy. I think she should have embraced the fact that I attempted many times to be open with her about these things (in my opinion) and accepted my sexuality, but she didn't, and thus the divorce.

The clothing issue was one supremely important component, but it was more than that.

 

[wjh]

Thanks for the good feedback. It should be worth noting that one of the dresses I liked and showed her she did order. The problem was the type of dress I really liked we cant seem to find in any of our local stores. So she ordered, it came in and didn't fit. So she returned it and bought a different one. A little tighter, not the same style, but had nice spaghetti strap weave around her tits so that was good. I guess I just have a certain style of women's dresses that really gets me going. She is up to trying things, but I guess I have to gently push her a bit to get her to try more....the slutty eyeliner for example.

Also here is an example of the dress I have in mind. Not sure if this link will work though. What does this say about my personality?

http://www.neimanmarcus.com/Aidan-by-Aidan-Mattox-Off-the-Shoulder-High-Low-Crepe-****tail-Dress/prod201200446_cat48730734__/p.prod?icid=&searchType=EndecaDrivenCat&rte=%2Fcategory.service%3FitemId%3Dcat48730734%26pageSize%3D117%26Nao%3D0%26Ns%3DPCS_SORT%26refinements%3D723&eItemId=prod201200446&cmCat=product

This says very little if nothing about your personality. This is incredibly modest.

 

[Fruitbat]

She might want you to be more of a knuckle dragging unemployed *******. Would you do it for her vagina?!!

 

[MatureDJ]

Read the Song of Solomon for your next Bible study. It's like soft-core porn.

OH MY! I read it, and *it* moved!

 

[MatureDJ]

I know there's some guys here who have experience with this, and I need some help. Over the past couple years I've been slowly working to get the wife to dress more sexy (ie: slutty) for me and do more of the little things that women traditionally do..tighter dress, nails just done, maybe just a bit of eyeliner for that slightly more slutty look that I like.

I'd intentionally leave on a common computer webpage links, or saved photos, etc. of women dressed like what you want. Your wife will get the hint - and if she brings it up, you tell her that you just can't stop looking at women dressed up like that.