countermart
Don Juan
I have this friend...no it’s not me, I really do. He is a very good looking, successful guy, but he has no confidence. Yet he sleeps with lots of women.
So much for the confidence link, actually no. The women he sleeps with are, well, to put it mildly, not very attractive. In fact I do not know how he does it!
Then there are the girls he really likes and values. When he meets one of these he turns to jelly. Generally, I am left holding up the conversation. Afterwards he tells me how fantastic they are etc, etc. He adds such huge value to these women, and honestly they are in the just ok level, middle ground type of girls.
He constantly meets girls he feels are above him. I constantly meet girls I feel are below me. This sets up a rather interesting insight:
You simply get the standard of girl up to the level your confidence will allow.
Who sets this level? You do. It has little to do with who you actually are, but your perception of who you are, and therefore the value you place upon her.
There will always be a shortage mentality if you set your personal value and so confidence, below, even just below, the target level you are shooting for.
It really shows the importance of inner game.
Really he has shown me that if you want to sleep with lots of girls the number is only limited by your standards lol.
Few of us actually have a problem getting girls to sleep with us. Our problem is that we commonly go after girls we perceive as being just outside our “confidence reach”. This is of course just a perception of value. You could drop your standards, like my friend, and drown in a sea of girls, but it will not make you happy.
He recently broke up with a girl I would not look twice at. I did not like her looks or personality. I recently broke up with a girl who people said was “beautiful”, who would say she did not think she was good looking enough for me.
High standards or low standards, both are not necessarily going to make you happy because you still will not have that elusive thing you truly desire. It, in both cases, feels just outside your reach.
Not of course that anyone other than yourself can make you truly happy, it comes from within first.
However, it is interesting that ultimately, you get what you constantly go after, to the standard you truly believe you deserve.
Countermart
So much for the confidence link, actually no. The women he sleeps with are, well, to put it mildly, not very attractive. In fact I do not know how he does it!
Then there are the girls he really likes and values. When he meets one of these he turns to jelly. Generally, I am left holding up the conversation. Afterwards he tells me how fantastic they are etc, etc. He adds such huge value to these women, and honestly they are in the just ok level, middle ground type of girls.
He constantly meets girls he feels are above him. I constantly meet girls I feel are below me. This sets up a rather interesting insight:
You simply get the standard of girl up to the level your confidence will allow.
Who sets this level? You do. It has little to do with who you actually are, but your perception of who you are, and therefore the value you place upon her.
There will always be a shortage mentality if you set your personal value and so confidence, below, even just below, the target level you are shooting for.
It really shows the importance of inner game.
Really he has shown me that if you want to sleep with lots of girls the number is only limited by your standards lol.
Few of us actually have a problem getting girls to sleep with us. Our problem is that we commonly go after girls we perceive as being just outside our “confidence reach”. This is of course just a perception of value. You could drop your standards, like my friend, and drown in a sea of girls, but it will not make you happy.
He recently broke up with a girl I would not look twice at. I did not like her looks or personality. I recently broke up with a girl who people said was “beautiful”, who would say she did not think she was good looking enough for me.
High standards or low standards, both are not necessarily going to make you happy because you still will not have that elusive thing you truly desire. It, in both cases, feels just outside your reach.
Not of course that anyone other than yourself can make you truly happy, it comes from within first.
However, it is interesting that ultimately, you get what you constantly go after, to the standard you truly believe you deserve.
Countermart