Getting To A Place Beyond Sex

[TheException]

How many failed relatiionships and marriages are there today? You're going to tell me that just screening will help you not get a bad woman?

Completely irrelevant. Although a decent amount of relationships involve "getting in" with the wrong woman.....the number 1 killer of relationships is the guy sliding back into old chumpy behaviors.

Guy is alpha > Guy becomes comfortable, starts to "open up" > Guy reverts back to old chump habits because he becomes compliant and forgets "game" > Women loses attraction and begins to sh1t test more and more. > Guy fails more and more. > Women cheats or ends relationship.

This is the all too common pathway nowadays. Game is ever vigilant.

How can you screen for that if you don't know what you're screening for? If everything appears normal to you, why would you think anything of it? Everything will appear normal to you, then one day months into the relationship, slips up will occiur and you will find stuff out and she will have different behavior. You think that screening would help detect that when everything was normal before? Any chick can be into you and then lose interest. Is that the fault of screening or the chick herself?

Look pal.....just because a woman from your past has obviously snuck past your defenses....doesnt mean its impossible for the rest of us to detect. You suffer the same fate as PairPlusRoyalRFlush. He was cheated on....so now he has become jaded and automatically jumps to the "woman is cheating" in the majority of his advice.

Admitting you could have done better is tougher to do than to sit here and say "oh man you guys are crazy....bpd are IMPOSSIBLE to recognize". Im sitting here telling you today.....THEY ARE EASY TO RECOGNIZE. Im guessing your number 1 problem is getting into an exclusive relationship too soon. You begin a relationship before you even know who the woman is. Dating non exclusive should be a period of 1 month - up to a couple months depending on how much you see the woman. Men are always overeager to jump into the exclusive realm with the first woman who thinks the man "is worthy".......just pathetic.

 

[Turuwal]

In some crazy city surrounded by idiot AFCs and stupid party girls trying to pull me down to their level so I come here for encouragement... and SoSuave delivers yet again! Why is it that almost everyone in the world is insane except you guys?

Repped TheException and GotED?

 

[goldengoose]

Completely irrelevant. Although a decent amount of relationships involve "getting in" with the wrong woman.....the number 1 killer of relationships is the guy sliding back into old chumpy behaviors.

Guy is alpha > Guy becomes comfortable, starts to "open up" > Guy reverts back to old chump habits because he becomes compliant and forgets "game" > Women loses attraction and begins to sh1t test more and more. > Guy fails more and more. > Women cheats or ends relationship.

This is the all too common pathway nowadays. Game is ever vigilant.


Look pal.....just because a woman from your past has obviously snuck past your defenses....doesnt mean its impossible for the rest of us to detect. You suffer the same fate as PairPlusRoyalRFlush. He was cheated on....so now he has become jaded and automatically jumps to the "woman is cheating" in the majority of his advice.

Admitting you could have done better is tougher to do than to sit here and say "oh man you guys are crazy....bpd are IMPOSSIBLE to recognize". Im sitting here telling you today.....THEY ARE EASY TO RECOGNIZE. Im guessing your number 1 problem is getting into an exclusive relationship too soon. You begin a relationship before you even know who the woman is. Dating non exclusive should be a period of 1 month - up to a couple months depending on how much you see the woman. Men are always overeager to jump into the exclusive realm with the first woman who thinks the man "is worthy".......just pathetic.

What is all this rambling about? You have a fuzzy memory since the last BPD thread that the other guy wrote. I said it was my friend who had the altercation with the BPD. BPD's appear normal just like she did with no problems. He didn't find out what really was going on until months into the relationship.

How is it irrelevant? You don't want to admit that you are wrong. Screening alone doesn't prevent you from getting a bad woman.

 

[nousername]

People only accept the "love" they think they deserve. And when they aren't happy with what they're receiving, usually it's because they aren't giving.

You get what you give.

 

[macallik]

Good post. I think another thing that was not mentioned is experience and options. An anlogy is telling poverty-stricken people not to eat junk food. You can't expect them to know that it is bad innately, or do to anything once they know it is bad if they have no alternative options. In the same vein, it is easy to turn down a chick who doesn't treat you as good as your top plate... but the trouble comes for guys who either:

a) Haven't experienced a quality chick
b) Don't meet new women on a regular basis.

 

[asa_don]

Only a select few women should you partake being in a LTR with, just bang the others.

 

[TheException]

What is all this rambling about? You have a fuzzy memory since the last BPD thread that the other guy wrote. I said it was my friend who had the altercation with the BPD. BPD's appear normal just like she did with no problems. He didn't find out what really was going on until months into the relationship.

Even worse then.....you proclaim something impossible...when you have yet to even personally experience it.

BPD are not some mysterious creature that "sneak" past the screening protocol of men. Either men too hastily get involved with a woman like this without adequately screening her or they ALLOW HER to "sneak" past by ignoring red flags. Period.

 

[goldengoose]

You just don't know anything about women. You have this idea in your head that you can know everythng about a woman there is to know. That is not always the case. I would like to see how well you screened your women in your relationships and how many mistakes you made before you start talking down to other men.

His ex lived with her parents and there was no clue at all what went on before. I met her 4 times and she seemed pefectly fine to me when she was in our group. One day she told him something and that's when things started to change. Then he got out of the relationship and she violently attacked him for doing that. My friends were shocked and even some of her new friends that knew her were shocked. So don't try to sound like a big know it all when you know nothing of the situations than can occur.

 

[Starfvcks 64]

You just don't know anything about women. You have this idea in your head that you can know everythng about a woman there is to know. That is not always the case. I would like to see how well you screened your women in your relationships and how many mistakes you made before you start talking down to other men.

I can't speak for Exception, but I'm sure he made a lot of mistakes in relationships. Mistakes are how people learn. Once you make a mistake, you should learn how to avoid making it again.

TheException's advice in the thread is good. It isn't about knowing "everything" about a girl, it's about acting on what you do know. It actually seems completely basic and inarguable to me - if a girl is causing problems, dismiss her. If a girl is being good, keep her. If that girl starts acting bad, dismiss her.
and so on.

You won't know everything about anyone, ever, so you have to always be looking out for what you do know and judge based on that.

 

[TheException]

You just don't know anything about women.

Thanks....Im sure you're right.

You have this idea in your head that you can know everythng about a woman there is to know. That is not always the case. I would like to see how well you screened your women in your relationships and how many mistakes you made before you start talking down to other men.

Of course Ive made mistakes......thats how ive learned. You are making my point....just because your friend screwed up and made a mistake doesnt mean he cannot become BETTER at screening. The only way he doesnt is if were to do what you proclaim and say "BPD are impossible to screen". Its a self limiting belief.

Like I mentioned before....im 100% in favor of admitting mistakes. I give my advice from experience, not from some philosophy I made up in my parents basement over the last 5 years in between Call of Duty matches. Why would you dismiss my advice when you can learn from it? You say its impossible to screen...I say its possible.....learn my friend.

 

[goldengoose]

The Execption likes to put words in people's mouths. I never said that you shouldn't screen women or that screening isn't any good in detecting bad women. I said that you should be screening them. But screening alone isn't always going to help you from getting a bad woman.

What he is saying is that if you screen a woman you will know everything about her and you should see everything about her when you screen. That is what he is implying with my friend. When you are screening and see a girl who is showing nothing out of the oridinary and has fooled many people then that is not his fault or a mistake of the man.

A mistake would be to stay in that relationship or ignore any warning signs that was going on. When you don't see any obvious signs or have no information to go on, that is not a fault for not screening well. That is what The exception fails to understand.

 

[denverfan110]

great post