Getting rid of oneitis but keeping the relationship intact?

[Blackhole105]

Is it possible?

I've been dating this girl for the past 2 months, and to be frank; I'm pretty much obsessed with her. I think about her all the time, which means I'm always anxious when I'm not with her. I am always wondering what she's up to, and worrying about who she's hanging out with. I have been able to seem indifferent/not AFC with her for the most part (although I just want to spill my guts to her), and I don't see her more than three times a week, even though she's up for seeing me as often as possible.

Luckily she seems to be just as into me, so it's not total sh!t for me right now...but I just need to get over this obessesion with her but also try to salavage our relationship in the process because I think she's a really cool person. This obessesion, however, is just eating me up inside, and it's hard to imagine how much worse I'd feel if it ended.

How do I get rid of this obessesion?

 

[lookyoung]

The best thing you could do is spin plates. Have options available at all times. Make her believe that you could walk out on the relationship at any time. and Keep in mind that your the prize.

Stay relaxed and enjoy your time with her and remember all things come to an end.

 

[Blackhole105]

I'm still in college so there are a ton of other girls to date...the thing is, I have oneitis so I don't want anyone else but her. Anyway, were in an exclusive relationship so I don't think she'd like it very much if I spun plates lol

 

[Iron]

This obessesion, however, is just eating me up inside, and it's hard to imagine how much worse I'd feel if it ended.

Here is how you end it....at least how I beat it. Like you said, you can't imagine how bad it would be if it ended. I hate to drop a cliche, but there really is always someone else, someone better....whatever. I'm glad you don't ******dly express this obsession....less you make her into an Olympic sprinter, and I don't mean towards you....

Know that it can always SEEM like a girl is really into you...but it's never an ironclad fact in all situations. I hate to say it, but in a free country, a girl can up and leave at a moments notice...so make sure she isn't carrying your heart in her purse. The best you can do is give her little/no reason to want to leave you, and if she still runs off then let it be. You're the prize....think more about her feeling bad for losing you. Focus on your hobbies...let you passions be something no one can take from you.

 

[Iron]

And I have no idea why the word "o u t w a r d" is removed.....weird....

 

[lookyoung]

I'm still in college so there are a ton of other girls to date...the thing is, I have oneitis so I don't want anyone else but her. Anyway, were in an exclusive relationship so I don't think she'd like it very much if I spun plates lol

Listen I know you hate to hear this but your a young guy. Your at your peak sexually. It may not seem like it now but the chances of you two being together forever is probably less than 20%.

There is obviously something missing in your life if you have oneitis for a woman. A man should never have oneitis for a woman. Nothing good ever comes out of oneitis.

Oneitis causes jealousy, insecurity, and clingyness. These are all traits that spell doom in a relationship. Like Rollo says the person in the relationship that needs the other one least is the one with the most power.

Spinning plates, improving your appearance and improving yourself helps get rid of oneitis. Read the DJ bible. The short version by killapetehog and read it before you go to bed at night.

 

[Iron]

Yeah..sometimes clingyness is seen as cute at first.....but it get's old REAL quick. Don't be like that piece of tape that refuses to come off your finger when you rap presents.

 

[sav]

nothing wrong with feeling in love...

just make sure you dont start dropping ur friends, ur hobbies and passions for her and u'll be fine. love is like an addiction, and like all addictions, if you dont have a handle on it, it will spiral out of control real fast.

edit: i just read the part where you've been only dating 2 months, this feeling isnt love, its infatuation, and it will settle and go away, so ride it out and keep doing what ur doing

 

[DonGorgon]

You are in love.... which is ok just dont let her know it... be rude or mean for fun then be nice.. tease her then act quiet so she is wondering what is up with you... more than you wonder about her.