Getting Over Approach Anxiety-Cant Say Hi?

[ApproachDoc]

Hey fellow Don Juans:

Cant say hi? Cant make that friggin' approach despite buying all those products, going to seminars, etc?

Yeah, maybe you tried doing affirmations, NLPing yourself, hypnosis, understand the beliefs that women are sexual, etc....

YET...

You still cant make that lousy approach!

Lets just say that I tried a bootcamp (and was going to do a workshop for $1300! ARGGH) and while I could do the EC mission, I couldnt say "HI".

Now most peeps will say that I should be weeded out of existince. That I dont belong in this game.

Well guess what? Ive done well not TOO long ago but Ive been kinda out of it for awhile that I came back to my oldself. In fact, EXACTLY back to AFC/approach anxiety guy.

I even made phone consultations ($$$$), met up with lair dudes (what a waste that was), and still nada.

Back when I was doing 'good', peeps would ask me "how did you get those 9s? (via pics obviously, ).

I really didnt know, I may have given credit to this and that, but really..when I think about it, it was me being me and having getting used to being with 9s that they were just another girl.

If you really think about what most products feature, workshops, etc...they feature "missions."

Aside from what to say, not to do, beliefts, bla bla bla...this is THE biggest thing to overcome. Once you overcome this, then its pretty much basic skillset but I think using a minimal approach is best.

Came up with a strategy that is nothing new to overcome my approach anxiety, and remember..I COULDNT EVEN SAY HI.

 

[ApproachDoc]

And that was to find what an approach is. People have their own definitions, but to me, an approach is any verbal interaction with a girl that you havent met before. Period.

Its soo friggin simple. Open your mouth, say something..and interact (whether its seconds, minutes or whatever)

I did this strategy not long ago (before coming down with sickness which wiped me out..LOL) and was started to get damn good again.

If you train your subconscious brain to interact with hot girls over and over and over again, your subconsious will slowly but surely find its OWN strategy for you to get the chick.

So I did this for my first mission, damn easy.

----Ask a girl what time it is.

Any girl that is 'do-able' (excuse the harshness, but if you dont like then just dont read..haa) you can ask. The hotter they are, even better. But any girl that is attractive in your eyes.

Again.

---Ask a girl what time it is.
She will give you time.

You say "thanks for the time"

Eject.

Do this 50 times preferably in one week.

The beauty of this is that even you probably have been asked what time it is. So its a normal thing, you aint hitting on the girl.

All you need to know is what time it is.

That is the first part.

Record their responses, what you said, etc.

If you want to extend it further, then do so.

Ive done something similar to this and didnt realize it. Ive been doing up until a few weeks ago and damn I was just getting to my awesome phase once again.

Will do my diary.
Want to start from scatch.

 

[ApproachDoc]

Saturday: (goal is to get "ask what time it is" 10 times)

Did it 9 times out of 10, not bad considering was with family. A couple of simple interactions.

Girl 1: Gave me exact time (like 7:23)
Girl 2: Was cute worker, gave me a smile and good EC
Girl 3: Super hot girl with super stacked alhpa male bodybuilder-UFC type fighter.
Guy gave me time and girl pulled out her cell.
Girl 4: Asked cashier at resteraunt, she gave me basic response.
Girl 5: 2 set that was walking fast, didnt have watch and simply said 'dont have time, sorry"
Girl 6: Asked 2 set time and they both pulled out cell phones while digging through purse, gave exact time, I said "Haaa..thanks for giving me exact time" they smiled.
Girl 7: Same thing, 2 set...one was hot gymnast type girl with killer ass. She gave me super strong indication of interests as she giggled when I told her thanks for giving me exact time.
Girl 8: Standing outside at valet parking, didnt have watch. She said sorry dont have time.
Girl 9: Super cute home girl sitting on bench with several of her friends, she said that her watch was 2 hours forward, so she mathmatically tried to give exact time, I joked with her on that, she laughed...she looked so ****ing intrigued. I ejected and just focusing on mission.

overall thoughts?? Started to become a bit easier, but its best to do this alone.
Dont think, just 'wing it'. Get time and get it over with. Act like you need to know what time it is.

Who gives a **** about good/bad responses, this is my science experiment.

What I learned?? Out of 9. The 2 that didnt have watch looked a bit cold.
The other 4 gave me damn good responses where if I didnt eject something cool could have happened.
The rest 3 were generic responses.

This is common with alot of approaches, 50% will give you strong looks of interests, a few here and there will be a bit cold (not rude or anything) and the rest is just normal basic stuff.

Became WAY more social after doing all 9, felt better...anxiety started to get less. perfect, right where I want it.

Sure beats staying at home and listeing to some product do some mind-voodoo on your head, thats for sure. Nothing like real life experience even if its small.

 

[ApproachDoc]

Dangit, forgot to add..will be slowly escelating each step once I do 50.

Will provide pics in future.

 

[HHloser2]

Good job man. pics!

 

[Killswitch]

thats not a bad idea just asking for the time, i might do the same

 

[Social_disturbance]

Yes I agree!!

When I was visiting San Francisco I talked to dozens of chicks simply because I was asking where sh1t is in the city...

--It really takes off the pressure.

Ask objective canned questions like


excuse me,

"What time is it?"

"Where is x?"

"How does this look on me?"

--At a clothing store...Believe me, Girls LOVE to help, and they usually know more about fashion than any guys.

etc.

As long as you do it with repetition you should get results, and very soon you will be opening chicks alot easier + building confidence + social comfort.

 

[silverfox]

Great posts and great suggestions.

I am going to use this as I have lost my bootcamp momentum recently. This is going to be a great confidence builder.

Thanks

 

[Don Juan Prototype]

great post...i like this

 

[ApproachDoc]

Hey everyone, thanks for the feeback!
You guys, seriously, are helping alot with motivation and would be cool if we can all give each other some feedback.

Social Disturbance, yeah..I was trying to find the term for what I was doing.."objective questions". Perfect.

The thing I noticed is that you do have to stay consistent (there are others to fighting over approach anxiety much quicker but may require too much out of someone) and something like this takes to time build.

YOu have to do over and over and over again. Of course, over time or after a certain amount (50), slowly escelate so you continue to progress as you build your foundation.

 

[ApproachDoc]

Sunday::

Sundays are usually slow days, you wake up a bit groggy, not much on a mood to do anything except be lazy.

Well today, I was super lazy...just tired, not feeling it.

I grabbed myself by the ear and went to Wal-Mart. Remember, repetition repetiition like lifting weights. You dont get muscles overnight.

So went to Wal-Mart not in the best state.
Hands cold, a bit anxious, not dressing well..etc.

But after missing a few oppurtunities, I finally got to approach and ask for time! YES!

So I ended up asking this 5 times to slightly above average looking chicks. No one hot per se.

Girl 1: Decent looking girl (turns out she was with boyfriend when I saw her later on). She said she didnt have a watch..but caugher herself with the lie and dug into her purse to get cell phone!
Girl 2: Saw stripper type girl with boyfriend (alpha typical black guy)..I approached them and asked for time. Guy didnt have time...tried to brush me off..but girl went to her purse..and gave me time..I smiled and said thanks.
Girl 3: Asked for time with 2 set, girl and mom...they gave me typical response.
Girl 4: Girl was walking opposite direction, stopped her, and asked for time. She said she didnt have time, then she was caught in her mistake, dug through purse..and gave me time! HAA
Girl 5: Approached 2 set girl that was kjinda ugly but wanted to get something. She quickly gave me time and left.

Overall, nothing unique at all. My state was a bit nervous, but at least got some down.

I missed golden oppurtunities because I thought I had to go WAY out of my to ask for time and she would know what was up. No excuse though.

NExt time I feel that way, Im going to compliment clothing. Im actually ahead of myself but will use this is now as back up.

 

[ApproachDoc]

NExt goal is to continue asking for time but getting a bunch down over the next few days.

In other words, dont do just like 4 or 5 a day, maybe finish it up with 15 today or 20 tomorrow.

Another goal (not necessary, but just bonus points) is that I generate a better response when I actually DO respond after they give me time.

Instead of just walking off and say "thanks"...Ill comment on their cell phone, purse...or say thanks for giving me exact time.

I am getting ahead of myself though...so main goal is to get time..but if I feel comfy enough to add a comment then I will.

 

[AudiTy]

Good idea to actually get out and do something, it really doesn't matter how small that thing is. It's ADVANCING!

Amazing how many people don't realise that you can read and listen to material until knowledge is coming out of your ears; but until you start getting out there and applying you're not going to get ANYWHERE.

I think people get frustrated often to the point of giving up when they try going from the Workshops/eBooks/Seminars straight to cold approaching women for the first time in their lives. They have to realise it's a process that has to be started on a foundation. Some people already have that foundation built and just need more bricks but it's all just a process of strengthening your character (or social proof).

So yea great plan, at least you're putting yourself out there. Maybe once your at your target, make an advancement and take the conversation further. Even if it's just one comment, then waiting for a reply and leaving. Eventually you can learn how to get numbers or whatever.

One thing I learned from one of David DeAngelo's seminars was from a guy called Orion. His goal wasn't to get a phone number, it was just to make a women smile. A great objective, and when you succeed with making a girl smile the reward for you is alot greater than the mere satisfaction that you talked to a women.


AudiTy`

 

[silverfox]

Nice work Doc!

Sounds similar to my approach efforts. I don't just bust out with some C&F and get HBs demanding my body but I do try.

So far the reactions I have had range from a pleasant conversation to being totally blanked. (Check out my FRs posted elsewhere here.)

I am going to ask for directions I think (still new to the area anyway) and see how that goes. Then I'll post some comments here and hope others do the same.

 

[thefonz]

Originally posted by AudiTy


One thing I learned from one of David DeAngelo's seminars was from a guy called Orion. His goal wasn't to get a phone number, it was just to make a women smile. A great objective, and when you succeed with making a girl smile the reward for you is alot greater than the mere satisfaction that you talked to a women.


AudiTy`

Wow, that really struck a cord in me......have a goal to make her smile

 

[j8snx1]

the "how does this look on me?" line is fun! lol

The cute girl(s) that work @ clothing stores, or that cute girl shopping in the same clothing store that you're in, they wouldn't mind sparing some time to give you advice on fashion. I've done it a few times and it does wonders.

Only part you gotta work on, is how to keep the convo going and do a #close =) Shouldn't be too much work, just branching out from her tastes in fashion to where and how often she shops and stuff.