Getting over a relationsip

[Modro]

Well i previously posted my situation and it was clear me and my girlfriend didnt have a chance, she was calm and just told me after i spoke about my stuff and said she loves and respects me but doesnt love me romantically anymore. We were like best friends and i loved her she treated me real good at times, would buy me things, cook for me and be there when i got home. She was always pushing me to become a better person and made me feel great.

The thing is i got too needy and she cut sex down to like maybe 1 time a month i forgot all that i had learned before we got together thinking i had her didnt need to act in a certain way anymore we broke up got back together then broke up again, i gave her some time but its not happening and she is going to be seeing someone else after just 3 weeks, he is from her work (we were togther for 11 months) i feel sad that she is gone i realise my mistakes in the relationship. I am dissapointed in her not making a real go at it she never seemed to acknowledge what i did for her but would occasionally make a big deal of all the things she did for me.

Anyway i am feeling really low, and dont feel like anything is really worth doing im just not up for it, this has hit me hard i dont think many gilrs i see compair at the moment, i have my sports and been keeping busy but its not helping too much i keep thinking about her, almost in disbelief that its really over, the other day after we spoke i asked for a quick chat where i wanted to see if we were going to be friends or how she would be if i saw her. but she got pissed when i walked home i have to go past her work and i signalled to her about did she get my text.

She rang me about 10 mins later with a bit attitude like i had fvcking ruined her chances with this new guy or something or like i was just there to piss her off at work or something just cuz i signaled to her through the window about having a quick chat.

i didnt want to have an argument so i just got off the phone asap, but i just need some time to myself and who knows, i want her to do some work if she wants to speak to me like she claimed the day before which i was fine with. But pretty much i just want a quick word then not talk or see her again i dont want to leave it with that stupid phone call. help me out guys any other tips to get over feeling like crap. I honestly thought we could go the distance and she was perfect in looks and all the things we wanted to do in life and taste.

sigh

 

[Cremasta]

Keep busy. Forget women for a little while. Improve yourself.

If you're moping around after an ex, other girls will see the attitude in you and run a mile... you just won't be any fun to be around.

Work on yourself for a bit, when you've got something good to sell, get out there and start finding a buyer.

Keep busy... oh I said that.
One more time... keep busy!

 

[TsubiS]

Yer dude, sounds like somethign i went through with the psychotic ex, good that your keeping busy and doing sports, its just natural to still be thinking about her.. i mean sounds like you were in deep
time and new experiences, stimulation takes away the pain and memories.

Get invovled in some new social groups, activities. If you're not feeling it right now, spend time alone doing the things that you like to do, without anyone else opinions, perception.

Whatever you do dont start talk'n to dudes about what you did wrong and how you could of changed things, it'll mess you up.

But after your depression sessions over. Get your ass outta there and get back into the game.. Dont stay in their for long.

peace.

 

[Modro]

The only thing is i really dont want to leave it with that conversation, should i txt her something like,

'i am taking some time for myself now its upto you if you want to talk to me now/again'

Then not contact her again, i know she wont talk to me for a long while or make an effort as she is going to be pushing all her time and feelings onto this new guy. I also dont want to be hanging around her all the time if we are not together. But if i get over her fully i would like to be her friend cause we just know each other so well and do get on

 

[TsubiS]

leave it man.. As much as you want to.. and as hard as it seems now! You need to leave it..

Beacuse as soon as you here her voice your emotions going to start going crazy. your not going to be as rational as you are now!

If anything wait a few months till your all fresh again. start talking about friendship. Chances are by then you wont even want a friendship.

Theirs definetly a part of you that still wants something. Can just tell from waht your saying.

But hey look that somthing aint going to happen. She's over you dude. She's already latched onto another guy. As harsh as it seems, it happens.

You gotta be a man.
And NO! do not tell her she can talk to you if she wants.. as ***** as you are to her now, this may be the only thing that keeps any respect within her for you.. Balls in her court now, she already moved on. disregarding your feelings with that, convo, saying you f'd up her chances with her new boy.

Dude **** that... So hell no she cant talk to you if she wants...

Best thing you can do is walk away! Be a man and do your own thing.

peace

 

[Modro]

She didnt say i ****ed up her chances, but it kinda felt like that, almost that i might scare him off or something or he might think there is still something between us. I understand what ur saying and i will leave it fully but i cant have all we went through end on that note. Also with a text its not like i will be seeing her or even talking to her. almost like a farewell text so then i can move on in peace.

and like i said i am keeping super busy, i have a awesome new sport that i play now that i have wanted to for 2 years (ice hockey), i work mon-friday (new job interesting) i see loads of different mates. I also play football (soccor) on 2 days a week. Plus i have a few TV shows i have got into

 

[TsubiS]

Well its upto you, whether you think you'll be able to handle it after the farewell note. Cause if you end it like that, balls in her court, she calls the shots, whether or not she wants to call you or not..

If you leave it fully and just walk away.. It'll keep her thinking, wats up, does he care i guess he's gone its over.. and yer she'll never hear from you again.. But your the man and ball aint in her court..

Choices yours.

 

[Redux]

I feel you bro. Remember you are the man. YOU ARE THE FVCKIN MAN. NOTHING MATTERS BESIDE YOURSELF.
You have it pretty much done. Time and perspective and you will be better then ever.

 

[Modro]

cheers for the advise guys its a tough time but you have to learn from your mistakes, as much as i want to believe... she is not who i fell for especially now.

 

[sav]

all guys with experience have gone through something similar.. and as painful as it may be, it will make u better... dont become bitter because of it and dont start viewing women as sluts and hoes and horrible beings because of this...

**** happens, live and learn, and move the **** on because as much as you have it in ur head that you wont find anybody like her, you will and she will be 10 times better.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Whether saying the following will make you feel better or worse, I do not know. However, for your own good in the future, you SHOULD know. She was interested in the guy at work long before you broke up. Whenever a girl is with a new guy quickly after a break up, it is ALWAYS the case.

It happened to a friend of mine too. And what pissed me off is that he ignored a really nice looking girl during the relationship because he didn't want to piss her off. And then the b1tch dumped him for another man.

Lesson learned, ALWAYS keep options open. I'm not saying to cheat, but at the same time, don't blind yourself to other women when dating a girl.

 

[Last Man Standing]

As Mr. Time said - she was sexing another dude for a while - this is a hor's modus operandi!!!

You were just the next pimp in line!!!

Quit loving and being loyal to hors!!!!

...dont become bitter because of it and dont start viewing women as sluts and hoes and horrible beings because of this....

Hors are not hors because you say they are - they are hors because of their hor conduct!!!!

 

[itishe]

Nothing makes me forget women more than a good game of poker with some of my closest friends.

 

[Modro]

I'm feeling a bit annoyed now it does seem like she probably was looking at options and then didnt speak to me about how she was feeling, but im not going to call her out about it. I know she never cheated on me while we were together and we had a good run. I will leave it there...

I have ice hockey tonight which im looking forward too, nothing planned this weekend though.

The only thing i am thinking about now is missing out on things we could be doing and how he will be doing them also, it was annoying as i had just started to get all my life sorted and in the right direction. new job, extra hobbies closer to my family, and her back after originally breaking up.

Im thinking of giving Online dating a try just to meet some girls and give me a boost without a load of effort. Sounds good?

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Im thinking of giving Online dating a try just to meet some girls and give me a boost without a load of effort. Sounds good?

People have very mixed ideas about online dating. I have tried it myself and I got extremely sick of it. I get nowhere and was bored very quickly. It is sometimes hard to find a girl who's real online. I don't think online dating is suited to young people like ourselves. I wouldn't say to not try it, because I firmly believe in trying something at least once before judging since experiences and personalities vary so much.

So go ahead, but what I will say is don't RELY on it. Online dating can sometimes be a bigger effort than just approaching a girl in person. You got to build rapport by sending e-mails back and forth. Wait for a response. Reply. With a girl you meet in person, you can have rapport in a few minutes and come out with a phone number in less than 10 minutes and be phoning her a few days later.

But damn, I need to grow bigger balls and do more 100% cold approaches. I have improved so much in the sense that I can easily chat up a girl I just met through a friend (or have SOME sort of excuse to talk to), where as an AFC I would be too nervous to even do that. But on my first cold approach, I did # close and now I have a lot more confidence.

 

[Modro]

In the end i decided not to contact her to straighten that conversation out, at the end of the day i think she wants me to just move on and not contact her, and i dont want to be like a little puppy looking for attention and needing her.

The old saying let the bird go free if it returns then you know it's love, if not then you are better off.

At the moment things are not too bad, but i do still miss her and i cant stop but feel a little pissed off at her, but i dont want to hate her she did nothing wroung in the end but end something that wasnt working for her.

I still think that after a while she will really miss me, but i am going to get over her and live. Ice hockey was awesome last night, i have soccor prac tonight.

Quick Question, we live like 1 min drive from each other and her work is at the top of my street. what do i do if i walk past it (big glass front) or see her? how should i act? because the odds are i will bump into her or see her.

I'm assuming maybe a smile and keeping going, but on the street just a quick hi things are good, im just going to ..... ..... g2g bye?

 

[Pakwah]

Hey Modro, i had a similar experience, you should read some of my posts and see how i did it - my ex now still says she loves me, wonders why we broke up, thinks about me, told me today she hasn't gotten off since we were last together (3 weeks ago), and its all from punking her off, not letting her get to me, keeping busy.

 

[Modro]

I have ignored her completely, even if i have to walk past her work i dont look in, she hasnt contacted me at all though which i guess is tough, i dont know what she is thinking all i know is she will/is seeing this guy at work. I do wonder if she is going to miss us or even contact me again. But at the same time i feel like im doing ok and the pain is decreasing, and im not thinking about it much and if i do not for long. but i do miss her

I looked at your posts and it does sound similar, but i dont feel like meeting anyone really at them moment. I have sports and have been really toning up with exercise. I suppose i need a little break for myself, also i am not very good at meeting people which i am a little worried about, im also thinking of doing a journal here of improvements. To log it all and keep it up and get encouragement.

but what do i do if u run into her? ignore or what

 

[Pakwah]

Keep up with the working out. Keep up with the sports. Believe me it wont be easy, i always had a day or two where i would think - yeah i have this and this but i dont have her. - if u run into her, dont say anything, if anything just say hi, but dont give her any clues in the tone of voice. a simple hi. dont tell her what you are doing.

 

[insanity]

i remember there was this one girl back in grade 9 that i dated that was the world to me. she made me think i could do anything. she was the first gorgeous girl to give me the time of day and i always questioned myself about what she seen in me. everybody was shocked and in wonder of how did i get her...even the teachers said to me you must be a charmer with a funny look on their face like i was quazie modo or something. it didn't matter because that girl was head over heels for me.

as in most relationships, we argued alot and i was pretty dam insecure because every guy wanted a piece of her and she always assured me that she wanted to be with me. then one day i did the stupidest thing. i got in a fight with her and i said thats it. i want to break up. i never seen a girl take it so bad. i truly broke her heart in half. i was to ****y at the time because i thought if i could get a girl like that then surely i could meet a girl just as hot. well it didn't happen and i became desperate to get back with my ex. she didn't answer my calls because she was out having fun with other people. i practically went insane. i thought of all the guys flirting with her. when her phone was busy my stomach felt sick because i thought she was talking to other guys. at school she was always laughing with other people and she acted like i never even exsisted. my life felt like it was coming to an end.

i layed in bed and listened to air supply and all the sappy stuff on every afc's greatest hits. and then she called...my heart raced. i felt happy again. i talked to her and told her i made a mistake and asked if she would give me another chance.....she then said i just called to tell you that i am stopping at your friends house to drop off your nintendo. and she then said she was seeing someone else. my heart crushed. i had to cover the phone because i puked. then she said good-bye and i felt like crying but i didn't.

over time she faded from my mind. it's funny because just a couple of years ago i banged into her at a club and she said that i better save her a dance. i told her i would but my girlfriend is gone to get us some beers. she then got a look at my woman and knew she was far superior to her and said have a goodnight.

don't worry too much man. there is a far, far greater woman out there just waiting for you. someday you will forget about this girl. all in time