Getting it up

[james77]

I've recently got involved in my first relationship with a girl at the age of 28. Everything's cool, apart from one problem - I'm having trouble getting turned on. I've never had any trouble in the past (without someone else present), and don't know what the hell's going on - I know that if I on my own watching a video of us getting it on, Id be unbelievably hot & horny, but when I'm with my g/f I just can't get dem feelings. It's like there's a connection that's disappeared from the waist down.. The only thing I can relate it to is shy bladder syndrome when you're busting for a leak but can't got cos there's someone else beside you... Oh yeah, and I get that too :-(

I can get an erection with her, but most of the time I lose it after a couple of minutes of being inside her which is pretty damn frustrating for both of us...

I have no issues about my body - I'm perfectly happy being naked infront of her, so it's nothing to do with that. And it's not that I'm gay either she turns me on immensely.

Luckily my g/f is being very patient about this, but it can only last so long, so I'd be really grateful for any ideas, or tips from people who may have had similar experiences. Thanks.

 

[playasupreme]

More foreplay, and stop thinking so much. Do not watch any more porn or tug your crank when you are not with her ANY MORE.

 

[NewMan]

This is a circle - that's keeps repeating.

It's totally in your mind - and you need to try and distant your thoughts from "Performance" and "Will I be able to get it up this time" into her - and how she looks/smells/taste's etc.

You've got to break this pattern - and your the only one that really knows what's going on.

She turns you on - but what turns you on about her?

What turns you on the most - t#ts? a##? Pvssy?

You've got to find what really turns you on - and concentrate on that. Are you a controller or a submissive?


I've found in the past if I've had trouble, I'll concentrate on what turns me on about her the most. I'll stop screwing her and go back to foreplay - or whatever.

If your still having problems it maybe wise to stop the sexual contact for a while and take that pressure away from you both.

By the way, I hope your still making her c#m with Oral if your not getting the job done the other way. If your not, start.

 

[Surfboard]

Try Viagra.

You can buy the 100 mg and cut them in half. I used to be in the same boat you're in now. Viagra solved my problem. It's well worth the money.

 

[Skel]

I was gonna say the same thing. Viagra

Just be careful because if you take it and dont get laid you will have a hardon for half the day

 

[dietzcoi]

Yes Viagra does work but try to cut them as small as possible. A buddy gave me a few and I caut them into three portions (33 mg) and it worked like a charm! I am telling you, try it. Do not be shy, go to the doctor and get it. You will NOT be disappointed.

Dietzcoi

 

[over40andlovinit]

Generic Viagre works too! (and this is not a website plug)

Guys I had the same problem a few months back. Did the whole doctor thing and he could find nothing physicaly wrong. He gave me a sample pck and man I am better than I was in my 20's that **** works. So he prescribed viagra. I got to looking around and found a place on the web no script needed ,,,erectionshop.com 24 100mg tabs for $54.00 US cut em 2 or 3 times what ever works for you.
And I assure you, you will be better than ever.
It's not a cure, but I no longer use them unless it's going to be a long night. lol
Trust me they work!

 

[Don of Truth]

How to do it naturally (expanding on playasupreme's post)

The best cure for "not getting it up" is to be in-tune with yourself and the woman you are with.
The connection which you have severed is one of closeness and sensuality. I suspect you have become desensitized.
How does a man become desensitized ?
Masterbation, porn, constantly thinking about only p*ssy, tits, ass and seeing only the body parts. Constantly seeing women as sex objects.

In the end, thinking only about the body parts will kill your sensuality and your ability to "get it up".

So what can you do ? Well...it's what you should stop doing.
Stop masterbating, looking at porn, thinking only about sticking your c*ck inside her. Focus on the woman as a person with thoughts and feelings.

I have had the same thing happen. I'd lose the erection while inside a woman. You are not alone.
But it does mean that the connection of closeness and sensuality hasn't been closed or even really started.
Once it has, you can keep hard for hours upon hours...naturally.

 

[over40andlovinit]

There are other reasons for losing it

As I stated in an earlier post there are alot of reasons a man has trouble in this area. Some are as you say mental or psychological others may be physical. Some can be caused by achahol abuse, smoking, drugs script and non-script. Other issues like stress and fatigue contribute in large part also. I would suggest that if this is a consistant problem see a doctor promptly it could be signs of a more serious problem, and there are many.
The doctor could find no physical problem in my case however I was drinking a little to much and I was a heavy smoker. I now exercise regulary and I have quit smoking and I drink a lot less. After a month or so on the pills I stopped using them and have had no problems since.

 

[DoubleA]

I just turned 30 and I noticed crazy things were happening and my sexual performance wasn't up to par. After going to a Urinogist this is what found out:

1) Basically Over40 is right. Smoking and Drinking hurt your Libido. 2) Drink more water. The body is primarily made of water. Make sure you drink a glass prior to activity. 3) I found out I was Diabetic. Crazy. But once I dropped the weight and got inshape things changed..how can you say..In a big way. 4) Don't think, just be. Therefore so don't think you're a porn star..Be one. ;-) 5) I tried some Levitra. Fellas!! That itshay is wild! I mean one dose of that and you'll be ducking her phone calls. Really. And don't be afraid to ask about Viagra and Levitra. I mean I thought I had a good piece of equipment before...It only makes it more "deadlier". 6) Find someone you're truly attracted too. I find that, for me, stank azz makes my stuff go limp. Seriously. Even stank breath. It's hurts the cause for me. 7) If you're sick and taking Sudafed or cold medicine. That stuff will KILL BILL. I was sick once and took that stuff. It took me almost a damn three weeks before I saw peetie look alive again. 8) Get more sleep.

Just a few things to pass on from experience. But these things do happen. And it only gets worse the older we get. I love it.

 

[Bunkins]

I'm not up there in age like you guys are, but I'm glad this subject is here cuz I wouldnt be the one to start it... LOL. Maybe I shouldnt be asking, but it's here so I might as well ask.... I'm 21 and have the same prob, never have had a sex drive really..... It's there, but once it comes down to actually doing it my mind is in the right place, but somethin else isnt. And when it does, I still dont "get off", thats only happened a handful of times. Stuff works fine by myself, just not when it matters... I just found out I'm diabetic, I knew I had been for a long time, just to scared to actually go to the doc and have him tell me what I already knew... Waited ( BAD idea ) to the point I was close to death, couldnt function hardly..... Anywho, after getting that all straightend out, getting back where I should be physically I hoped this would straighten it out, but it didnt.... Found that out a few weekends ago, I was rather pissed off...... Nothing like being hot and bothered, but a body part doesnt want to go through with the deal...... I was comfortable with the person, the most comfortable I've ever been with anyone, she was my first when I was 17, infact she's been the only one... She's HOT, I go nuts over her, but it still doesnt work.....


What else is there to try other than medications? Being 21, I shouldnt have this problem. First time I've talked about it actually.. I know I'm not comfortable walking into a doctors office and have him look at me funny when I ask him for something to "fix" it.... But something has to change, I'm finding it's actually hurting that part of my life... Kinda hard to get physical with someone, when there's that chance things wont cooperate..... Makes it harder to even get to that point with anybody, or even start something.. I'm to that point in my life where I'm confident, I can talk to women, have fun, I'm not the person I used to be anymore, the shy guy who stood in the shadows, but this right here is holding me back..... I'm quitting smoking, started today, I had quit for 3 weeks before the whole diabetes thing, but that caused alot of stress and I started back up... Now that I read here that it's part of whats wrong, I'm quitting for good ( I really dont have a choice now either way)..... But is that enough?? I'm a physical person, I mountain bike, live on a ranch so I'm always doing something physical, and all my hobbies require me to be active, I'm not lazy to say the least, always on the move... So rather than medications, what else is there to try??

 

[NewMan]

I'll say it again...

This is a circle - that's keeps repeating.

It's totally in your mind - and you need to try and distant your thoughts from "Performance" and "Will I be able to get it up this time" into her - and how she looks/smells/taste's etc.

You've got to break this pattern - and your the only one that really knows what's going on.

She turns you on - but what turns you on about her?

What turns you on the most - t#ts? a##? Pvssy?

You've got to find what really turns you on - and concentrate on that. Are you a controller or a submissive?


I've found in the past if I've had trouble, I'll concentrate on what turns me on about her the most. I'll stop screwing her and go back to foreplay - or whatever.

If your still having problems it maybe wise to stop the sexual contact for a while and take that pressure away from you both.

By the way, I hope your still making her c#m with Oral if your not getting the job done the other way. If your not, start.



I've been through this.

For me it happened because I broke up with my ex - and I still had that BS in the back of my mind.

Now though, I'm through that - and I'm functioning just fine.

I'll put this on also:

Take Zinc - get that Orange Juice with added zinc - and drink a glass every day.

Also, eat Blueberries. You can get Organic frozen blueberries from Trader Joes (California) - I make a Protein frink with blueberries every day.

I've read in Mens health magazines, that both Zinc and (a compound in) blueberries help you with a rock hard erection.

- Even if it's BS - it's get for the mind - at least you think your ding something to help - or might help.

Try it.