getting ideas for funny things to say standup comedians yall prefer?

Eljuego

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This is a good topic...

Humour is essential in all aspects of life. After all, we all have to deal with the grande broma final...

watching stand up is brilliant in my opinion as it keeps you in a comedic state of mind. that been said I think it's essential to match your humour with your personality. it has to match your philosophy or else it comes across as contrived...

my two favorite comics are English and Scottish. Jimmy Carr and Frankie Boyle. They take comedy to the edge and ....provoke!!!

I like to push things...it usually gets a reaction....good or bad....it weeds out stuck up biatches....either way it gets an emotional reaction

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9DkK06zZ_o

Frankie Boyle:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGR8GN6U0yw

Jimmy Carr:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rzb_p1mRW1M

A Jimmy Carr joke:
I'm a little sad today
Why?
It's approaching the aniversary of the death of my first wife..
oh really? jesus you were married?
yes, she was from Thailand
oh how did she die....yada yada?
testicular cancer (dead pan face)
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Hollowpoints

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MGTOW itself is a classic comedy routine. Contradict yourself on every occasion and pretend to go your own way while continuing to talk about what you arent going to do. Make MGTOW whatever you want it to be so when others call you out on your foolish hypocrisy it doesnt matter as you are a mgtow. :crackup:
 

Bible_Belt

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Bill Hicks was pretty great.

I dvr "The Half Hour" and "Comedy Underground" on Comedy Central. I like a lot of comedy central comedians, like Amy Schumer and Anthony Jesek. Rachael Feinstein has some good stuff, too. I caught the end of a Dane Cook special, and I even liked that, which surprised me.

And I know it's a really old movie, but Steve Martin's first film "The Jerk" is a hilarious classic. Steve Martin was so poor during the filming of the movie that he did not have a car that ran. Director Carl Reiner had to pick him up and give him rides to work.
 
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Eljuego

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Hollowpoints said:
MGTOW itself is a classic comedy routine. Contradict yourself on every occasion and pretend to go your own way while continuing to talk about what you arent going to do. Make MGTOW whatever you want it to be so when others call you out on your foolish hypocrisy it doesnt matter as you are a mgtow. :crackup:
whaa???? where's that comment coming from? do you need more laughter in your life? more hugs?

Laugh pal ;)

Father Ted
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmfLS1hWO94

Black Books
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aaeeCV8eRr4

The Office
blind date scene
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qk4d8lfTxk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPu_d4SSOPk

Extras (you're aware I'm gay?)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVkgXX_YTiY
try watch this without laughing ;)

Johnny Depp and Ricky Gervais
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0Cm6aOQR6o
 

Eljuego

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The other side

I will add this...

comedy is cool once it's real. don't be afraid to feel all of your emotions. If you feel bad, you feel bad. I don't mean negative. I mean sometimes you will feel a little bad...express it. your feelings are neither right or wrong...they just are. when you express yourself your authentic. If she doesn't like it...**** her.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kpa9LtunUcg
 

VladPatton

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If you want some funny shıt and to listen to a real alpha, subscribe to The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast. Give it about 2 months, and tell me how you view the world after that. Always 100% truth spoken.
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

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