getting her out of my head

[Serg897]

well my friends, Ive come to what looks like might be the end of my first real relationship with a girl. Help another guy out, read my story, and give me any possible advice on how to get her out my head or on how to deal with her.

I admit I broke some rules while dealing with her, especially giving her too much attention.

What happened is that for the past 2 days Ive been trying to set something up with her, and each time there was an excuse. I know that this should set off red lights in any guys head, but they generally seemed genuine, and so did she. She called her dad an "a$$hole" for not letting her do anything, and I could hear her dad talking to her about it on the phone.

Last night however, there was a small incident in which she lied to me, which started off relationship talk with her.

What came out of it is that she said she needed a "break" from the relationship, told me that she really liked me, and that she knew it could work out, but that that she just needed some time off.

my conversation consisted of things like:
me - so, what you are saying to me is, you dont know wether this can continue yet?
her - no i know this can continue i just need a break

then later she says
her- ok listen if i take a break and cant stand not seeing you which will probably happen i know i like you and really truely want this to work out
her- thats what the taking a break is for

Im not sure wether or not to believe her, but I know that right now I have to consider her as good as gone for a while. That means getting her out of my head. So, if any of you have any advice on how to continue, or how to forget about her, reply.

thanks

 

[KeepitKINO]

Take the break, but see another girl while you are on the break. It should raise IL pretty well.

 

[Serg897]

anyone else have anything to add? anything would be appreciated, Im just extremely confused about whats going to happen now.

 

[Drow]

Hey Serg,

I agree with KeepitKINO. There really isn't much you can do in this situation. The best thing you can do right now is pursue other girls. Talk to as many girls as you can, and don't hold back because of this girl (your not "seeing" each other right now so there shouldn't be a problem). This way you don't fall into the trap of desperation over this chick, and you can get yourself out there and realize its no big deal.

Even if things don't work out between you two, and you don't get back together its ok. In fact it can be a great learning experience, if you let it. There isn't much you can do with this girl, its in her hands. You just go out there and live your life to the fullest. Once she sees you out there enjoying yourself and all of that, she will want to be a part of that.

Just don't turn into a desperate wussy boy, calling her and telling her how much you love her. Cut of contact (unless she initiates) and go out and live. Good luck.

 

[Serg897]

thanks Drow! thats what I needed to hear, though I have something else to ask.

What do I do if I end up seeing her again just by coincidence? In her neighborhood, I have some friends, and I might go over there and end up running into her. What should I do then?

 

[Cloud-uk]

**** man I'm in the same situation. girl screwed up and I forgave her, something I rele shouldn't have done. Now I find out she's lied to me about something, so I know I've got to ditch her when she gets back from holiday. So now I've got the fun of getting her out of my head... but since I havent got a sure fire way of doing it I'd just say live. Get out there and have some fun. I've got with more girls these two weeks that over the last month, and I feel better for it

Rebound, ah its a beautiful thing...

 

[Drow]

Serg,

Thats a good question. Your most likely WILL run into her again (it seems to always happens that way..)at some point. When you do, just act natural.

Don't make a big deal out of it. You should have moved on by now, talking to other girls and having fun. Treat her like a friend, but not a girlfriend (you should always do that anyways). Obviously don't be rude, or anything like that. Talk to her, tease her, show her that you are having a good time with or without her.

In your mind, you should have moved on. It shouldn't make a difference to you what she does (if she wants you back, or whatever) because you have other interest. If she does want you back, and you still want her then hey, go for it. But don't 'rush back into it.

Right now, whatever you do, try to stop thinking about her so much. The best thing you can do is go hang out with friends, girls, whatever.

Have fun man.

 

[kevbo]

i like the way cloud put it. live. after i broke up with my girlfriend (due to four months and no more than a peck on the lips...), i noticed at first i wanted to start going out with someone. then, i decided i wouldn't date anyone for a while to take a chance to enjoy not having the limits that were imposed by my dating someone. gradually, i started to think i should've just tried harder instead of breaking up with her. then, i became more uncertain as more time passed. however, i was doing what cloud just told you to do. i was out there living my life, so i began to realize that my dating her in the first place, while out of interest in the beginning, eventually became dependence on having a girlfriend.

anyway, i eventually got over it, and then i wound up dating someone else. now, i'm already further in a month with this girl than in the four months with the other. of course, i should have made the progress within a week or two, but hey, she's a really nervous person, so a month isn't bad considering she's never even gotten this far with anyone.

 

[Serg897]

thanks to everyone who replied.....turns out she now wants to get back together, so I'll see how it goes now.

 

[MoAF]

'Damn, this seperated bit was just getting fun...'

Serg, baby, never hesitate to date other women. I may be an *******, but I say date other women while your dating this one, she sounds a lil off. When your casually seeing lots of women it makes things like 'time off' seem a hole lot less hurtful, and in fact just means time on with another girl. TTyl, gl

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Originally posted by Serg897
thanks to everyone who replied.....turns out she now wants to get back together, so I'll see how it goes now.

Be aware that her "wanting a break for a while" might have meant "there's this other guy I want to screw, so wait patiently until I decide which of you is better"

My advice is not to stay in this - or at least start looking elsewhere RIGHT NOW.

Oscar.