Getting her on YOUR turf

[BigBadJon]

After a wild night out last night, my buddy and I were talking about how to approach women in a club.

One method that works for him is to simply reach over and pull her to him. I have never seen him get rejected this way.

The approach that we both agreed to be the best, is to motion for her to come over to you.

Doing this accomplishes several things.

First and foremost you are showing supreme confidence. Not too many guys have the balls to do this.

Secondly, you are showing dominance. We all know that women love dominant males.

Third of all, you are putting her on your turf. She is crossing the line moving away from her personal space and into yours. If she moves to you, she has shown submissive behaviour. From this point on you are in control.

Think about this for a minute. If you had walked over to her and asked her to dance, she has control. If you had approached her where she was standing, even if you weren't "asking" her to dance the ball is still in her court. But if she leaves her comfort zone to enter your territory, you are 100% in control. You have showed her that you aren't afraid to be in control and take what you want.

Of course there is a small chance that she won't "obey". So what? You have established that she's not interested. Move on.

This technique will only work when you are on top of your game. Your success rate will be proportionate to the amount of confidence you project. If she detects hesitation or weakness on your part failure is likely.

The "grab her hand and pull her to you" method will work best on a girl that you haven't necessarily made eye contact with. The "motion her to you" method will require getting her attention one way or another preferrably with a smile and eye contact.

Try this sometime. Done properly it should yeild a pretty good return.



[This message has been edited by BigBadJon (edited 11-12-2000).]

 

[Anti-Dump]

Great post.

I'll say one thing. This would be a test of VERY HIGH interest for sure.

AD

 

[BigBadJon]

Originally posted by Anti-Dump:
Great post.

I'll say one thing. This would be a test of VERY HIGH interest for sure.

AD

Yes. And you know what? I have a couple of friends that use both of these methods. Only once can I remember the "come hither" not being effective. Never have I seen the "pull her toward you" fail.

This is the ultimate show of confidence and power. It shows spontaneity. It's like her knight just rode in to sweep her off her feet. Basically it shows her that you have what she is looking for in a man. I think part of the effectiveness also comes from appealing to a womans sense of adventure and curiousity.
Tip- if you ever want to make a woman anxious to see you just say you have to tell/ask her something next time you meet (appeal to her curiousity). Doesn't matter what it is about. She will be dying to see you to find out the secret.

I am still refining my game enough to try these approaches myself. My typical approach on the dance floor is to move in close and start working from behind. Although it is effective 9 out of 10 times (effective to snag a dance partner, not necessarily a #), it seems weak.

Does anyone else have a good dance floor approach?

 

[Surfboard]

BigBadJon,

The approach that we both agreed to be the best, is to motion for her to come over to you.

GREAT POST!! That post is so good, I'm going to add it to my personal tips book.

 

[Peak]

It's true.

Soon as you feel like you want to make a move you have to act upon it. You get the hottest babes if you think less and act more.


Another way is to totally intrude their personal space if they are standing around. Just walk slowly past them but very close.

I did this to a pommy chick yesterday in a restaurant. As I walked past her she whispered "very cute" so I could just hear it. Good for an ego boost even though I am attached.

 

[Pook]

Nice idea, but I disagree. I've always used the 'motioning over' as a test to see if the woman has any self-confidence. Those women that come over have no self-confidence and I stay away from them.

Most of the time, women will just give you a funny look which then I go over to her and get her. If she's not interested, she'll just look away and ignore you.

Very interested women with no self condifence are the ones that will come over to you. You are the MAN, you initiate it. By motioning her to come over, you're simply saying, "Yes, you may pick me up."

Though this motioning over may be a good idea in clubs, I just don't think its good to get women in general.

------------------
Pook
"As you think, you shall become."

 

[Poet]

I've never tried the motioning over bit. To be honest I would feel weird doing that. I would rather just go over & start a convo. Motioning over may work if you establish some rapport or a "connection" prior to it but I think it tests nothing except a woman's curiosity IF she is curious..after that it's still on you to do your stuff, I'd rather get right in someone's space & make my presence known..that's direct & more my style. Outa here, Poet

------------------
Action is all....words don't mean ****.

Trust your instincts & nothing else.

 

[BigBadJon]

Originally posted by Pook:
Though this motioning over may be a good idea in clubs, I just don't think its good to get women in general.

It is doubtful that this approach would acheive the same results outside of a club/bar setting.

You are correct, Pook. In the real world you're likely to get a WTF?!? stare or an insecure girl. In clubs it's different. This is still showing dominance when you approach this way in a club (most guys would never do this), but being in that environment will allow you the edge to show dominance in a smooth way.

The way this is most effective is when you are letting loose and making it obvious to everyone else around. The more eyes you have checking you out, the better.It also doesn't hurt the situation if she is having a good time herself.

All it takes is brief eye contact and a "come hither" motion. If she had been looking your way beforehand, it's almost a sure thing. If not, grabbing her hand and pulling her in to dance with you may be better.

Poet,
Thats the point. 99.9% of men would never be bold enough to do this even after they have established good eye contact or other body language. I am speaking specifically of clubs, and being out on the dance floor where it is difficult if not even awkward to imediately start a convo, with the crowds and the music so loud. As for rapport, she should at least be looking your way. That's why it is important to be cutting loose when you do this. If you project the image that you are having the best time you've ever had and catch a woman looking your way you're in!!! I'm telling you, with the right attitude this almost always works.

[This message has been edited by BigBadJon (edited 11-15-2000).]

[This message has been edited by BigBadJon (edited 11-15-2000).]

 

[ChrisFl]

> One method that works for him is to simply reach over and pull her to him.

Sounds like a good way to get a knee to the groin. What does he do next, pin her against a wall & French kiss her? THAT's dominating!

 

[BigBadJon]

Originally posted by ChrisFl:
Sounds like a good way to get a knee to the groin. What does he do next, pin her against a wall & French kiss her? THAT's dominating!

Pull her close and DANCE. Then a short time later, start a convo. Never seen it fail.

 

[syncmaster]

Yeah, i think the pulling thing might be classified as assult. you'll get kneed in the groin, and possibly arrested. And no chick is worth that. But i've used the "call her over" method and it works pretty well.

 

[marknola]

The trick of this is only do the pull the girl towards you thing to girls already giving you buying signs. And never grab her, just gently take her hand and pull her towards you and smile all the while. If she does not want to dance she will shake her head no and pull away. I love this method. It works great on 9s and 10s. You just have to do it with the attitude of you expect her to dance with you. They love when you take control. It is primal. Just don't scare her, by grabing to hard.

 

[Godfather]

how do you think a girl would react if I said this

Useing my index finger to call a girl over I say:

I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.

 

[Flyguy3663]

Haha probably by telling you.. you are a cheesy basterd who never gets laid which is the truth if thats your pick-up line.

I like that idea Jon. You're right about it showing supreme confidence and also shows her you're interested in her at least physically. If she comes shes at least interested in you

 

[Jungle Boy]

Ha ha ha!

Too funny...everybody seems to have their own opinion as to what works and what doesn't...and why or why not it does or doesn't.

I guess you just gotta try them for yourself and see what works and what doesn't. It sounds kind of like all that testing that they talk about in internet marketing.

=-)

 

[Lilredplaya]

Oh how sweet it is to see a great post like this.

 

[Paranoid Android]

Great post.

The motioning over works a treat for me. What I do is a try to make a gap on the couch or area next to me and then i subtly pat the empty/extra space i have created.. If you can get that eye contact - it nearly always works.

Best thing about it that they come and sit next you - so lots of opportunities to kino.
and to tease her about how much she must like you already.

My question is - if you have her thinking shes the aggressor - who is supposed to open the conversation?

 

[Cappo Yung]

I can assure you, both these methods work wonders in clubs.
I’ve demonstrate / done these multiply times.
Subtlety, Calm and with a not needy / Desperate attitude.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

This worked back in the day....... 20 years later, you will most likely end up handcuffed in a police car.