getting ex gf back.

[alamo]

yes, alot of you might judge what i'm doing to be wrong so if you don't like it then click the back button. otherwise bear with my little essay first and then help me out.

So pickup and "game" has def improved my life, all aspects; it's allowed me to be more confident and secure with myself, my personality, my wants, needs and desires. it has helped me meet awesome people and believe it or not it has even helped me at a job interviews where after five ****in' minutes i'm toyin' with the employer because i'm so sure i've landed the job. And obviously, the reason i got into pick up...to meet plenty more women... it has served it's purpose and got me laid...alot.

To give you a little history;I grew up in the city and I was always a fairly popular guy growing up and thought of myself as quite the playboy, a nickname of mine for some time was "stifler". I was pretty successful in getting girls but at some point I got sick of the type of girl I'd hang out with (if you live in a big city you should know the type...the inner city european sluts...snobby superficial girls that really add nothing of use to my world except for ass). Right around that time i started watching "keys to the vip" and ended up reading "the game" and obviously thought it was pretty cool, i got more involved with the pickup arts, started out with some canned lines and they kinda worked a few times. Got me a few girls that i'd meet up for a **** once in a while, couple of one night stands here and there. I started getting much more involved in natural and inner game as i saw it as refinement of characteristics i already possessed.

Now, I'm not a guy that's in it for the numbers, maybe i watch too many movies but i definitely think i'd be happy with the right girl. I had an image of what this right girl was and formed an imaginary checklist in my mind. after then it was just a question of going out meeting people, getting to know them and see how i felt and how close to this "ideal girl" image they were. So i went through a phase of dating around and let me tell you there is nothing more fun! I learned to be very honest with the girls i was seeing and let them know that it was not exclusive unless we talked about it and it felt right. Eventually i did meet the girl who was about as close as it gets to my ideal girl and then began a relationship with her. The problem is that i wasn't ready to meet her, I still had alot more to get out my system (example. asian girls with BIG BOOBS, yeah..exactly!). We did begin a relationship though and believe me i had the best time of my life with her. However that feeling wasn't going away, i still had more travelling to do, more to see and learn and experience and obviously more to ****.

We eventually broke up about a year ago (took some effort on my part to convince her it was for the best) and kept in touch. for the first few months after the breakup we were practically **** buddies and at the same time I got around to doing everything (and everyone) i wanted. Didn't tell her about this just because she didn't need to know and get hurt (she had seen a guy during that time too). Anyway so she moved away to another city for a few months and met new people and eventually began dating a new guy. i was a little annoyed but wasn't too concerned about it, i even visited her just over a month ago with some friends and ended up having sex with her (friends were not involved in our sex session ). Anyway a few weeks ago after a historic st paddy's day, i decided that it was time i kick start the romance again even though i'd done extremely ****in' well over the last few months and lived life to the fullest, sometimes you know that it's time to slow it down.

So what do i go and do? i tell the girl that i wanted her back (huge mistake, put the ball into her court) and she tells me that she is happy with how things are with her boyfriend and wants to move on. Now obviously i wasn't buying that. I told her that was fine and that i wanted to cut contact with her for a while then so she could move on properly and then i'll maybe see her again next month once she moves back into town (and starts a long distance relationship with her bf, this seems too easy haha)

Now i'm sorry if what i'm about to say offends you but my happiness is more important to me than whoever this guy is that she is seeing so to put it simply, i'm just gonna have to seduce her when she gets back into town and then if she chooses me, i'm happy. I've learned over the last few years that settling for anything less than the best is a terrible choice in life, unfortunately I wasn't the best boyfriend to her towards the end as i was subtly convincing her to break up with me, but to me, she's the best type of girl you can possibly meet and i won't settle for second best. Now like i said, check your morality at the door and help me figure out how i'll go about doing this. I know a lot of you out there will understand the female mind much better than i do so i'll take your input!!

 

[jophil28]

Your proposed "get her back" campaign has defeat written all over it.

She is with another guy and she wants him more that she wants you - she has said as much.

IF you persist with this madness you need to realize going in that YOU have almost ZERO power. SHe has all the clout right now and her B/f is superior to you stategically.
You have no almost no ammo and you are planning to fight an adversary who holds the hill and has raised his flag.

THis is one battle you do not want to fight, soldier.

 

[alamo]

Your proposed "get her back" campaign has defeat written all over it.

She is with another guy and she wants him more that she wants you - she has said as much.

IF you persist with this madness you need to realize going in that YOU have almost ZERO power. SHe has all the clout right now and her B/f is superior to you stategically.
You have no almost no ammo and you are planning to fight an adversary who holds the hill and has raised his flag.

THis is one battle you do not want to fight, soldier.

hell yeah i do.

think of this guy as the rebound. i know that's how i see it. and it's a rebound that's gonna be a long distance relationship in about 3 weeks. it's a new relationship going into a long distance one. i got some firepower man.

she is with another guy yes, but i shouldn't have expected her to ditch him and come right back to me, i thought i had her hooked, you won't find many girls that ditch their new boyfriend on command. it's ridiculous to say that this is something that can't be done, i've seen pickup work countless times over. why not in this case? hell i've seen people on the other side, new boyfriends that are trying win the girl back from her ex (me in this case)...

 

[jophil28]

i got some firepower man

At most you are going in with a 9mm.

Go ahead, if your ego says so, but realize how weak your position is. She has MOVED ON and she has told you so.

 

[alamo]

At most you are going in with a 9mm.

Go ahead, if your ego says so, but realize how weak your position is. She has MOVED ON and she has told you so.

i probably will. if i get close enough then a few well placed shot with a 9mm is enough. i can guarantee she'll call in the summer and will wanna hangout, not worried about that.

the reason i made this post was to ask what was the best way in doing so though. so if you have any suggestions...

 

[tinctrar]

i probably will. if i get close enough then a few well placed shot with a 9mm is enough. i can guarantee she'll call in the summer and will wanna hangout, not worried about that.

the reason i made this post was to ask what was the best way in doing so though. so if you have any suggestions...

It sounds as if you have made your decision already...so why ask us for help?

Your best case scenario (long shot) is you get er back half-assed. Meaning maybe you will bang her a couple of times. Shes got all the power dude. At this point she decides when she wants to be with you if at all. But more than likely she will stick with the new dude only cause she has swung to a new branch already.

Not to mention shes already with another dude. Why bother? Get out there man.

But we can only give advice based on our experiences - and the key to success is failure. So, by all means, try it out.

Best of luck brother.

 

[vivek59234]

All you can do is, just wait for her to come back if she wants to... You can't do anything better than this... You can't either be so desperate because she's having a better hand on you at the moment...

Meanwhile you must see other chicks and enjoy your life... All depends on her now, there's only possibility if her new dude screws her up in life and she might realise that you were the better option for her... Till than just wait and watch but don't just completely be dependent on her...


Move on....

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Alamo,
I think Jophil vastly exaggerates your firepower,not even a Daisy Airgun in my Gun Cabinet....But the Alamo like so many Anglo defeats is glorified today,so go down with your Colours tacked to the Mast and all guns firing.....but Alamo I am curious....These Asian girls with Big Boobs?What Ethnic background are they?sounds good to me,are you sure they are not Silicon jobs,if so sound like Thai or Filipino Bar Girls....OK for a bit of fun but you don't take them home to meet your Mum.

 

[alamo]

Dear Alamo,
I think Jophil vastly exaggerates your firepower,not even a Daisy Airgun in my Gun Cabinet....But the Alamo like so many Anglo defeats is glorified today,so go down with your Colours tacked to the Mast and all guns firing.....but Alamo I am curious....These Asian girls with Big Boobs?What Ethnic background are they?sounds good to me,are you sure they are not Silicon jobs,if so sound like Thai or Filipino Bar Girls....OK for a bit of fun but you don't take them home to meet your Mum.

let me paint you a picture.

21 year old, 5'5, canadian born, chinese (yes 100% chinese) with double d's, oh and nice round booty to match. what was good about her was that she was def the type you take home to meet mom. someone else's mom though, she was a little too snobby once you got to know her.

have a couple of unreal pics of this girl (not nudes).

 

[alamo]

oh and my question was simply how best to pursue what i want.

I've gone direct and i was not smooth at all and created n.o romance in doing so; a huge mistake, i realize now as i wrongly believed i had her hooked to that level.

like i said, just looking for the best way to pursue this. how best to re-establish contact (or the best way to play it when she contacts me, which i know she will), how long to wait etc... how to create the right kind of mood and moment when we hangout (which we will guaranteed). how to get her so caught up in that moment that nothing else matters.

this isn't much different to a regular pick up, having previously dated we already have a ton of sexual tension anytime we're around each other. and people have sex/get back with their exes all the time. don't see why some see it as such an impossible thing to do?

 

[jophil28]

like i said, just looking for the best way to pursue this. how best to re-establish contact (or the best way to play it when she contacts me, which i know she will), how long to wait etc... how to create the right kind of mood and moment when we hangout (which we will guaranteed). how to get her so caught up in that moment that nothing else matters.

Your problems are -

She sees you as her EX. Women have a switch in their head which flips to OFF after a breakup where the guy dumped her. Women resent fiercely being dumped, they define you as the lowest scum critter, and they will never forgive you or understand why you dumped their magnificence...and they NEVER forget!
Now she has a new B/f and his switch is set to ON in her head.

Even if she calls you and suggests "catchin' up ", in her mind you are 'old filler' only , perhaps a cautious friend at best . And if you game her she will erect her shield so fast . You will then get the LJBF speech.

However you may have some secret weapon - but I doubt it .
This is a fool's errand my friend.

However it you do f**k her, and she goes gaga over you again, you better PM me fast ! :cheer:

 

[alamo]

However it you do f**k her, and she goes gaga over you again, you better PM me fast ! :cheer:

nailing her won't be a problem as far as i see it. making her go gaga over me may take a little work and im not sure how to approach that.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Alamo,
"100% Chinese with double d's, oh and nice round booty to match".....Amazing...."The Chinese Woman is so refined,she has no bosom and no behind"You seem to have found a genetic aberration.....I reckon you might stand on a busy Street Corner in Shanghai and not see such a Woman in a week."She was a little too snobby once you got to know her" now that does not surprise aren't they all?I thought the English were class consious,but they are just beginners compared to their almond eyed sisters.Although unlike the Brits Money opens any door.
PS:Whats her Mum like?

 

[cedd]

and people have sex/get back with their exes all the time.

actually its often in the early stages after the break up. A kind of "I dont wanna hurt you but wanna fvck you" mind. Depending of who initiated the break-up...

shes maybe hot as hell and a marriage material too, shes your EX...Even though you meet her and date her again, in your mind you will have the memories of why you previously broke up with.

nailing her won't be a problem as far as i see it. making her go gaga over me may take a little work and im not sure how to approach that.

See her and nail her is two different things now.

 

[starplayer]

My advice: don't do this.

But since you won't listen, your best bet is to wait until she's in your city then hang out with her. Have a few drinks, talk about old times, and if the chemistry between you is as good as you say it is then one thing will lead to another very quickly. And don't bash the other guy in front of her.

Seriously though, I wouldn't get involved. Not so much because of the other guy, but because of you. The fact that you're even posting this shows this could be a potential oneitis. And she's an ex. Be careful.

 

[Kailex]

And she's an ex. Be careful.

The problem isn't so much that she's an ex... but that she's an ex that HE dumped.

Alamo, you already got her once. If you truly want to pursue this, then think back to what you did the first time around and intensify it.

That's all you need to do.
BUT, be ready, because she has all the power going in which WILL be an unusual position for you. You are used to being the one to dictate what happens next... you're not going to have that anymore.

And IF she does get back with you, she will forever have in the back of her mind: "Is he going to ditch me again for absolutely no reason?". That alone, can have a devastating effect on the relationship. She'll be guarded and try to invest as little as she possibly can.

BTW, are you sure there are no better options than your ex?

I hope that 9 millie aims well. If not, you're just gonna end up with a oneitis that'll crush your soul.

 

[kingsam]

hmm... trying to keep you EX around and hanging on?
isnt that what Pain-In-the-Ass chicks do?

wait, your just a male equivelent of a PIA chick!

Time to move on and find new chicks!

BTW, are you sure there are no better options than your ex?

not for male PIA's!


(see i havent even commented on motrality here in my answer - only your attitude!!)

 

[alamo]

hmm... trying to keep you EX around and hanging on?
isnt that what Pain-In-the-Ass chicks do?

wait, your just a male equivelent of a PIA chick!

Time to move on and find new chicks!

not for male PIA's!


(see i havent even commented on motrality here in my answer - only your attitude!!)

Haha whatever nerd.

I got an acronym for you pal, GFY, figure that one out.

 

[Puck508]

Like someone else said, remember back to what you did when you got her the first time. She needs to remember the guy that she fell for/started dating in the first place. I wouldn't wait for her to contact you once she moves back into town...that's doing things on her watch, not yours. I'd plan a nice, romantic evening to show her that you're serious about getting back together with her. That will obviously lead to sex and so on, but you need to show her that you're ready to settle down. Women love that romance stuff, and obviously she still has a thing for you if she's having sex with you and inviting you to come visit.

First though, you need to make sure that you're serious and really want to settle down with her. I have plenty of ex's that, every once in a while, I'll get a wild hair and think "OMG I can't believe I passed up that opportunity...I need to call her!". And then I sit down and think of why it didn't work out before...and I pass. I do it this way because, I've already hurt them before by breaking up with them...it's just cruel to lead them on again. So make sure that this is what you really want first.

Other than that, it honestly sounds like you've got it in the bag once she moves back. If she does bring up the boyfriend thing, give it a little bit of time...long distance relationships blow and it won't last. If it does, then make her develop feelings for you, then drop the ball that you sleep with other women since she has a bf...but if she wants that to change, she needs to be with you exclusively. This is a last resort, though...telling her that you sleep with other women.

Good luck.

Puck

 

[waynejohn]

you could not have a more humorously ironic forum nickname for this post.