Getting Depressed.

[SharinganUser]

I usually don't let this stuff bother me, but I have hit a dry spell. It's depressing me, and it is depressing me that it is depressing me.

I went out the other night and got a # but it didn't pan out because my wingman was an idiot. I was chatting up this girl for a while and we had a good vibe going. I got up to go to the washroom and when I came back he was talking to her and telling her that we were just out to pick up chicks and take em home. I was really embarrassed, and could see the look of disgust on her face. I told my wing man that we had to leave right now and then I told her that my "friend" is really drunk.

When we got outside, I told him that you can't say that to women, but he was to drunk to remember what he said.

That's only one incident though, last week two girls told me about other guys that they like. The first time it happened was with a friend who told me she liked another guy in our group. I didn't really care about that, we are just friends. I even helped her give a card to him she had made, because she was to shy. Then a couple days later I was talking to another girl who I was slightly interested in, but not anymore, and she told me she liked some other guy. I just said, "That's nice." Rolled my eyes and put my headset back on.

I feel like an old baseball player that just got sent down to the miners. I feel like if I am going to get back in it, I am going to have to suck it up and just play with women that are more in my league and work my way back up to the big leagues.

 

[oxford comma]

haha ur friend sounds awesome, you shouldve just went with it. look at the girl and say" of course im lookin to pick up chics tonight, why else would i come here?".

 

[btownbuck2012]

alright man i don't know if what i'm about to type will make any sense but w/e here it goes.

I get down as sh!t sometimes too. I mean, i get DEPRESSED. it's gotten to the point where i've got some noticeable silver hairs amongst my thick black hair. I've been called ugly by girls, cheated on, made fun of, etc, etc, etc.

But you know what? life goes on. It continues.

I'm really fascinated with great men throughout history and what their backstories are. I'm kind of a political buff so i'll give you the example of abe lincoln.

Here's a guy who is considered by MANY people to be the best president in the history of our country. The guy was an electrifying speaker and had the balls to put an end to slavery. HOWEVER, he spent much of his life battling severe depression

This is part of an actual letter he sent to one of his law partners after he broke up with his girlfriend

".....I am now the most miserable man living. If what I feel were equally distributed to the whole human family, there would not be one cheerful face on the earth. Whether I shall ever be better I can not tell; I awfully forebode I shall not. To remain as I am is impossible; I must die or be better, it appears to me...."

He also told one of his lawyer friends that he would never carry a pocketknife with him because of his depression. You do the math and figure out what he meant by that.

My point is that EVERYONE feels like crap sometimes in life. I'm a firm believer that you MUST, absolutely must, go through hard times in your life at somepoint, because how would you ever truly recognize and appreciate the good times as well? Ying and Yang my man. There would be no happiness without sadness. Seriously, think about that. You couldn't even define happiness if the state of depression and gloom didn't exist.

So yea i hope you'll be able to relate all that to your problem with these women. Ups and downs man. I'll leave you with another quote from lincoln that has cheered me up in some really dark moments of my life


"....Remember in the depth and even the agony of despondency, that very shortly you are to feel well again...."

 

[Bible_Belt]

In a debate, Lincoln was once accused of being "two-faced."

He replied with a gesture at his own obvious lack of good looks and said, "Sir, if I really had two faces, do you think I'd wear this one?"

 

[SharinganUser]

I am thinking that I should just stay away from trying to meet women for awhile until I can lose some weight, and get my self sorted out. I am so angry at how people have treated me as a fat guy. I was raised to respect people and not make comments on their appearance, not to mention physically pointing them out. I have not been shown that same respect and when this weight comes off, I will start treating people like dirt.

 

[floydb25]

Sharing: You can never assume that, just because you act and treat people a certain way - means other people are the same, and will treat you fairly in return. There's a lot of jerks out there. You can't let them get to you, or take their insecurities that they are dumping onto you out on others. That just makes you no better than them.

Don't worry about these people at all. They're losers. They're not worth getting frustrated over - because they're not important. Their opinions don't matter. They're nobodies.

 

[Yo'Mama]

Feeling exactly the same dude. Will watch your progress with interest.

 

[ken chang]

I know how you feel, Sharinganuser. I'm biracial and it amazes me how some people can still be so ignorant and hassle me a lot for that. And you're right, floydb25. Lots of jerks out there and the best thing to do is to ignore them because they are insecure and cowardly. But there are times when you just wanna punch them in the face. (I don't recommend it though. I understand it, but I wont recommend it. Hehe...)

 

[HighResurrection]

It's a great idea to focus on a conditioning program. I wouldn't stay away from women. I used to get frustrated, and just stop trying entirely. It's an organic process, their are women everywhere you'll meet them unless your saying negitive things to yourself or havent really pushed outside your comfort zone.

When I'm down I usually focus on the things that i don't have rather than what I do have. Try writing down all the positive things you have going on in our life and review that in the morning.

everything changes man

I think it was Lincoln that said

"This too shall pass"

 

[PokerStar]

have you ever heard of the Donald Trump?

the man was involved in everything. nuff cash to feed world hunger at one point. anyway, it all came crashing down. a few bad investments and he was in the negative. but that didnt get him down. he worked on his debts, his game and now he's back at the top.

Retooling your game will only help you in the long run. if you need a break from woen to focus on improving yourself then do it. its up to you bro. the world is your oyster.

and you cant really rely on someone to do a good job. only you can do that.

 

[SharinganUser]

Update: I went out again tonight and let me tell you, it was kind of a ****storm. First this older woman (very good looking btw) asked me to dance. I danced for about 4 minutes before I started to get excited. I sit right back down and tell her and my friend that I am way to shy and can't dance.This Australian guy I was at the bar with takes over, and probably hit that. I don't really care because he's only in town for a couple days, so I can just hit her up another night.

I decide to go for a girl that is more my range, an easier home run. She was chubby, but has big tits. My other buddy at the bar said she liked me, so I just went for it despite not really being interested in her physically. I made out with her a little bit and when the end of the night came I thought I was going home with her.

We get back to her neighbourhood and she says we can either go dutch on this massage place where we can get a room, or we can get a room in a cheaper place which is 30 minutes away. I said let's just go here.

So we head in and she decides to stay in the spa area for over a half hour while I am waiting up stairs. Then we finally meet up again get a room together, but she decides to get a two hour massage, during which she falls asleep. By the time 6am rolls around, I am sick of watching the tv while she gets a sleep massage and try to hightail it out of there.

I get to the entrance and the receptionist tells me that someone has to sign a release. Despite my ****ty language skills they seemed to understand that this girl would pay for everything, but were unwilling to wake her up to get the money. Can you believe that? I had to go back into the room and shake her hard to wake up and sign the release. I told her that I wasn't paying for anything and that I was leaving.

I just got home and luckily didn't have to pay assloads of money for nothing. On the way home I remembered a time that I saw my father yelling at a customer on the phone and then got him to make a reservation at our lodge. I then thought to myself that I must have inherited that somehow to have walked out of this massage place without paying a dime.

If I had of just kept dancing with the first woman than this night would have ended a lot differently. But that is neither here nor there, because I'll just have a go at her next time.

 

[SharinganUser]

Well I went out again tonight and I got nothing. I am starting to feel like there is some force working against me. I don't know what to do anymore, I just feel like nobody likes me. I "broke up" with a girl about a month ago, she was my oneitis. What makes things worse is that she lives in another country, so the last time we were intimate was almost a year ago, and now she is getting married to some prick that is 35+ years older than her. I was the "other guy."

So basically it's almost been a year since I last got any. I just keep having dry-spell after dry spell. It's got to the point where I don't think I even want to get hitched because I have so much making up to do in terms of how much of a barren waste land my love life has been. I mean why should I tie myself down to one woman if I have not even had that much sex in my life? It just doesn't make sense.

I am 28 and I've never really had a steady girlfriend. My longest relationship was about 2 months with some girl who was getting separated from her husband. My second longest relationship was with this oneitis who just dumped me. Everything in between has been ONS's. I feel like such a loser.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Well I went out again tonight and I got nothing.

If you'd go out hunting a good time for yourself instead of just women, you would have at least come home with the satisfaction of having had fun.

You're depressed because you're letting success with women define the success of your life. They are not the same thing at all.

Go learn to have fun doing something around other people that you enjoy and are good at. Emotions are contagious, which is working against you right now. But if you're having a good time, it's infectious. Women will be drawn toward you. If you don't like bars, don't go. Do something else. But the funny thing is that whatever you do, afterward those people will go out to eat and drink together. You can end up at the same bar that you're avoiding. But if you're not there to get women, somehow getting women suddenly becomes a lot easier. Try it sometime.

 

[OC Speedball]

Well I went out again tonight and I got nothing. I am starting to feel like there is some force working against me. I don't know what to do anymore, I just feel like nobody likes me.

Try going for 21 years without ever kissing a girl. Yup, that would be me. But I still go out there and TRY. I still maintain a positive mindset.

You have nothing to be depressed about, so please don't say another word about your "dry spell" of two months.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I am thinking that I should just stay away from trying to meet women for awhile until I can lose some weight, and get my self sorted out. I am so angry at how people have treated me as a fat guy. I was raised to respect people and not make comments on their appearance, not to mention physically pointing them out. I have not been shown that same respect and when this weight comes off, I will start treating people like dirt.

Sharinguser, how heavy are you?
It is very rare that women will go with a man who is appreciably heavier than she is. After all, don't you have a certain cut off point where you have no interest because of her weight?

I find that a lot of guys get frustrated regarding their own attractiveness because they have set their sites on women who are indeed out of their league. After all, why would a thin, fit chick who is approached every day want to hook up with a guy who she views as lacking in self-discipline because of weight?

Whether or not you have a medical condition, you can somewhat improve your perception by dressing with style. It's usually a vicious cycle, where someone who is out of shape simply cannot conceive of dressing well because in their mind "only fit people dress well". So there can be a subconscious self-sabotaging going on.

A sense of style, neatness and cleanliness can cover over a multitude of sins, I always say. I exist right in the zone where I can go either way. When I dress sloppy, I LOOK sloppy. When I dress neatly, I clean up real good. When I gain a few pounds, interest from women plummets. When I lose a few, interest rises.

Women will usually want a man who is approximately in the same weight class as them. Of course there are exceptions, but generally this is true. When I was heavier than I am now (this was due to drugs I had to take), I didn't have an accurate perception of how I really looked. I couldn't understand why women had no interest in me (except for the chubbies), but looking back I realize that I was attracted to thisn women, but I myself was not thin and fit-looking.

So let's see if we can help you out here. You've already revealed a lot of personal information, and we are here to help you, not hurt you. Honestly, what is your physical appearance and weight at this present time?

 

[btownbuck2012]

Try going for 21 years without ever kissing a girl. Yup, that would be me. But I still go out there and TRY. I still maintain a positive mindset.

You have nothing to be depressed about, so please don't say another word about your "dry spell" of two months.

Good point dude. It's important to remember that no matter how bad you have it, currently, or over the course of your life, there is always someone out there who's had it 10X worse than you. Additionally, a-lot of those people have gone on to lead satisfying, rewarding lives. Always, ALWAYS, try to keep things in perspective.

 

[Super Hero]

OP lacks something and that's fun.
OP lacks something and that's fun.
OP lacks something and that's fun.
OP lacks something and that's fun.

When you let go. . . you'll have everything.

 

[Love Me Do]

When I'm down I usually focus on the things that i don't have rather than what I do have. Try writing down all the positive things you have going on in our life and review that in the morning.

everything changes man

I think it was Lincoln that said

"This too shall pass"

have you ever heard of the Donald Trump?

the man was involved in everything. nuff cash to feed world hunger at one point. anyway, it all came crashing down. a few bad investments and he was in the negative. but that didnt get him down. he worked on his debts, his game and now he's back at the top.

Retooling your game will only help you in the long run. if you need a break from woen to focus on improving yourself then do it. its up to you bro. the world is your oyster.

and you cant really rely on someone to do a good job. only you can do that.

I find that a lot of guys get frustrated regarding their own attractiveness because they have set their sites on women who are indeed out of their league. After all, why would a thin, fit chick who is approached every day want to hook up with a guy who she views as lacking in self-discipline because of weight?

Whether or not you have a medical condition, you can somewhat improve your perception by dressing with style. It's usually a vicious cycle, where someone who is out of shape simply cannot conceive of dressing well because in their mind "only fit people dress well". So there can be a subconscious self-sabotaging going on.

 

[SharinganUser]

I am 6'1" and weight about 260 or so. It's not a medical condition, I am just fat. I am trying to lose the weight but it's a long process and that doesn't help me in the short term. It could be 6 months to a year before all the weight comes off, what the hell am I supposed to do in the mean time?

 

[Bible_Belt]

what the hell am I supposed to do in the mean time?

Do physical activity with a group of people. Try to enjoy yourself. I'd suggest Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Or it could be cross-fit, biking, gym classes, whatever. Do what you enjoy.

And I promise I'm not being a smartass, but there are some hot b!tches at weight watcher's meetings. There was a group of them who met at an indoor sports facility where I trained. I thought they would all be whales, but that's not the case at all. The ones who go to meetings are the ones who have lost a lot of weight.