Getting back your respect after doing somethin AFC...is it possible?

[Soprano]

how can you do it??

for example this chick was a pretty damn good candidate for a gf and my game was insanely tight with her, she loved my personality etc, she used to be crazy about me telling her friends she was gonna marry me and sh1t (not seriously of course but still lol you get the point) but i fckked it up with one outburst of AFC jealousy and insecurity....we're on good terms but its obvious her attraction for me was killed in that one moment of AFCness lol....what can I do to gain back my respect next time she contacts me? (just using this as an example, it can apply to all kinds of situations where you fckk up and do something AFC)

in my situation specifically i didnt come off as a wimp but more of an insecure controlling type, but either way, AFC.

if nobody knows of anything...then something needs to be discovered to re-ignite a spark after you snuff it by acting AFC lol

 

[Vlad the Impaler]

I did this too with a girl recently. My game was tight until she got booty call texts to her cell one night when I was drunk and I went off and acted insecure and jealous.

Sorry to say, but the relationship died after that. She was never the same and the relationship is now dead.

If you find a way to recover let me know.

 

[search1ng]

why are you considering a relationship with a girl who gets booty calls at night anyway?

 

[IamtheAlphamale]

Man, chill out. Remember that one lesson? Don't try to be perfect. Don't worry about this so much.

 

[Soprano]

Man, chill out. Remember that one lesson? Don't try to be perfect. Don't worry about this so much.

ya ur right. but its like damn, after all of the stuff i've learned and all the ways ive improved myself not only as a dj but as a person, i blow up wit sum AFC sh1t with the only girl i dont wanna just fckk and dump lol. im not stressin it n im gonna try and just chill with it...but i still gotta at least try n think of somethin to save face

i was thinking about next time we are together just saying something simple like "i was just buggin out, i dont even know why, thats not my style at all" and ending it with that and try to keep it movin back to why she was all up on my **** in the first place

we did some text flirting recently which she was responded very positively to but im not kiddin myself i know the attraction was killed lol but the positive response leads me to believe there is in fact a door for me to walk in and save face

 

[DJDanny]

why are you considering a relationship with a girl who gets booty calls at night anyway?

It's not that they recieve the booty call, it's how they respond to it that matters.

 

[Ganondorf]

Lol if she likes you as much as you say then this shouldn't matter too much

don't over analyze

 

[Soprano]

Lol if she likes you as much as you say then this shouldn't matter too much

don't over analyze

i dunno im pretty sure i killed that with my AFC outburst lol but you're right i shouldnt over analyze....im usually the one tellin ppl that lol damn i'm slippin on this one

 

[vitor]

There are so many girls out there my friend, just learn and move on. In the future try to control your AFSness but if it comes out roll with it and move on. You will fail more times then you succeed but when you do it right you will forget about failing..

 

[Blown5.0]

There are so many girls out there my friend, just learn and move on.

so much easier said than done! i know...im going through it now!

 

[IamtheAlphamale]

At this point your at the point where your trying to prove yourself to this girl. This is something I have made sure to watch in myself recently. I advise not to do anything.

We grow by overcoming our own emotions to defeat insecurity. There is no 100% where you will ever stop growing. I always think that the great pyramid was not built in a single day. I advise you just forget this happened and move on. (not saying dump her)

 

[Jblitz59]

Dude, just laugh about it with her when you bring it up. Because if you have indeed played a tight game, she will accept you through your fault/s.

No one is perfect and this will happen now or later (acceptance).

 

[changeherways]

after all of the stuff i've learned and all the ways ive improved myself not only as a dj but as a person, i blow up wit sum AFC sh1t with the only girl i dont wanna just fckk and dump lol.

You answered your own question. The reason you started to act AFCish is because you DO give a fckk! You have more emotional attachment to this girl because of it.

im not stressin it n im gonna try and just chill with it...but i still gotta at least try n think of somethin to save face

don't worry about it. seriously. None of us are perfect when it comes to dealing with every sh!t test/scenario.... I'm d@mn good with women, and i haven't had a problem with jealousy in years... But i am far from perfect when it comes to dealing with women... and slip from time to time... a little weakness is good i believe... but continually acting like an AFC is not...

with that said - if you can share what happened and not just a summary of it - it'll be easier to see if you really did f up, or if it's something that should fade away over time...

i was thinking about next time we are together just saying something simple like "i was just buggin out, i dont even know why, thats not my style at all" and ending it with that and try to keep it movin back to why she was all up on my **** in the first place

DON'T DO THIS! Don't apologize for how you were acting. That's far more AFC than having an occasional jealousy outburst.

AFC move #1: You acting jealous.
AFC move #2: You apologizing and justifying.

we did some text flirting recently which she was responded very positively to but im not kiddin myself i know the attraction was killed lol but the positive response leads me to believe there is in fact a door for me to walk in and save face

How much of a relationship did you guys have? Had sex? Dating?

Don't worry about saving face! Learn from it and don't do it again. Don't bring it up to her, let it die. Show through your future actions not your present words.

---
A little story about the last time i showed jealousy (about 3 years ago).

Girl i was Fvck buddies with who was becoming a little more than that (we almost were a couple) - called me one day and said, "my friend from high school wants me to come play video games with him, and i was wondering if you'd have a problem with that?"... at first i was like , "why would i care? why are you calling me and asking me this?"... but some bells and whistles started going off in my head, so i started interrogating her...

Come to find out this guy wasn't just her friend from high school - he also was obssessed with her and always telling her he wanted to kiss her and stuff! (i was completely ignoring the fact that a lot of good looking women keep orbitor types like these around them to feel good about themselves).

I BLEW UP AT HER! ended up hanging up the phone... She ended up not hanging out with him, but being really "dissapointed in me" and how she didn't expect me to act so much like "other guys she's dated"....


Afterwards, when i looked back on it - i realized what a mistake i had made. But i didnt' apologize for it, I just learned from it. And about 20 women/3 years later - i haven't had a jealousy moment...

And yeah, i still bang the same girl occasionally. And im sure she's long since forgot about it.

 

[zekko]

One AFC mistake shouldn't sink it for you - sounds like you've been reading too much seduction material. Multiple mistakes will though, so get it through your head you can't screw up again.

 

[youbaby11]

in for updates. i can identify w/ the the thread starter lol

 

[FairShake]

Everyone makes these mistakes sometimes. Everyone except for the studs of the SoSuave board of course, but that's still alot of mistakes being made and alot of jealousy being forgiven. The odds are in your favor if she really likes you like she says she does.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

Lots of good advice here; play it off, but I don't think you should be the one to bring it up, suggests you've been sitting around analyzing the situation, which is very AFC. If she brings it up, it ain't no thang gurl!

 

[Soprano]

some real good replies in here thanks guys i appreciate them im just playin it cool like it never happened. she's stopped initiating contact with me, but i'll make her wait, im not gonna send her any messages or call unless she does first. give her the gift of missing me

 

[Raikojo17]

Yea man

No one is perfect. No one wants you too be perfect lol. so just learn from it an move on. make sure next timme you don't overreact

I'm sure you lost no respect from this girl. even the best "DJ's" mess up from time to time, but they don't let it bother them

Like on stage, if you mess up, just roll with it, 95% of the time the audience won't know you messed up anyway, so don't put it on blast and dwell on it so that they do know lol

 

[youbaby11]

pretty good reminder for me to always try and play it cool!