Getting a girl to invest in you.

[Skyline]

Shout outs to @beforeimgone for having me come up with this realization. I promise I won't use any crayons for this post.

'beforeimgone' has been saying that in order to get a girl, you have to make her invest in you. At first, I was like whatever and then I really thought about it. By I mean think I mean I'm up at 3 AM and it kind of just crossed my mind.

Now most women that are in relationships never usually want to end it unless absolutely necessary. Why is this? Because they invest their time into it. They want to make it work because they put so much time and effort into it. It's like throwing away a meal that's in the process of being made when it's halfway done.

All it really is is making her feel important by asking for her opinion.

How would you go about getting a girl invested? I thought about this and it's actually pretty simple.

It's really just asking her to do stuff for you. It doesn't have to be something an *sshole would say but it can be in fact innocent. Like:

"Send me some songs, I'm bored of my playlists"

Now she has to rummage through her songs and send them to you.

"I need some help finding some gifts for my siblings. What are some good presents for my siblings?"

Now she has to think about some gifts and she's gonna ask question about them too.

"I want to write a story, you have any plot or character ideas?"

Now she has to actually think.

"What's a good way to reject/ask on a date someone?"

Now she has to think about rejection/asking someone out.

"Whats a good show/movie on Hulu/Netflix?"

Now she has to think about some shows/movies.

"You know any good drugs/weed strains?"

Now she has to think about some trips and some dank tree.

Basically anything that requires her to give her opinion/advice on something is a form of investment. Actions are also a form of investment but those can be taken advantage of. An opinion, not really.


Feel free to post stuff you would ask a girl to get her invested.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

I never thought about these. Could it be a soft form of investment used when you are not in a LTR (although you could use them in a LTR too)?. I mean, you use these with all the plates, and if you move to a LTR with a girl, you use the ones that beforeimgone talks about.

 

[RangerMIke]

Truth is when you do stuff like this women knew EXACTLY what you are doing. You can not hide stuff from women or fool them.

If you make excuses to reach out to them, they know EXACTLY what you are doing. This is why it always pays to be completely honest with them. Or avoid contact with them completely. The only way you can actually get inside a woman's head is to completely avoid her, and wait for her to reach out to you.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I agree that investment is a very powerful tool. The nature of women, the very thing that makes them feel "complete" is to serve their man. When she serves you, later when she's alone she rationalizes to herself, "I must really be falling for this guy. Look what I'm doing for him."

The aware man knows that to make a girl fall in love with him, he plants seeds which he knows she will water and cultivate herself in his absence.

 

[Reykhel]

Many people here are familiar with John Alexander's Alpha Male book.....I think he even wrote
some articles here....

The book draws heavily on Robert Cialdini's seminal Influence: the psychology of persuasion

Influence you could say is the art of compliance.....or getting people to say YES to you...

Compliance been her willingness to succumb to you. Of course we're all aware of Mystery's compliance testing to check her level of interest.....and level of compliance.....

...small, inconsequential tasks or favors......hold my jacket for a second, can you grab me a glass of water, wait there...

this is where one of Cialdini's 6 principles of influence come in : Commitment and consistency. The more compliant she has been with small meaningless favors, the more likely she is going to be consistent with her previous behaviour......people want to be congruent with their previous actions in order to preserve their self image and the influence of the commitment and consistency principle says "ah this is just like when I did such and such.....so I'll be consistent and continue"

John Alexander draws on this by saying whenever she wants to do something for you allow her, because she will continue to be consistent with that previous commitment (example I'll cook us a meal tonight........it would be a mistake for the man to say....nah don't worry about it, we'll eat out or I'll order.....)

 

[sunnykhatri736]

"Send me some songs, I'm bored of my playlists"

Now she has to rummage through her songs and send them to you.

"I need some help finding some gifts for my siblings. What are some good presents for my siblings?"

Now she has to think about some gifts and she's gonna ask question about them too.

"I want to write a story, you have any plot or character ideas?"

Now she has to actually think.

"What's a good way to reject/ask on a date someone?"

Now she has to think about rejection/asking someone out.

"Whats a good show/movie on Hulu/Netflix?"

Now she has to think about some shows/movies.

"You know any good drugs/weed strains?"

Now she has to think about some trips and some dank tree.

Basically anything that requires her to give her opinion/advice on something is a form of investment. Actions are also a form of investment but those can be taken advantage of. An opinion, not really.


Feel free to post stuff you would ask a girl to get her invested.

I do these kind of things and it works. I dont do this thinking of it as a game or so. It generally happens on its own if the girl is interested in you. I generally ask her to cook for me every now and then. I ask her to go out shopping with me and then decide some outfit for me. Sometimes when i dont have money left i ask her to pay for the date. If she is really into you then she will love doing things for u

 

[Serenity]

Yeah, you've understood what investing in someone means. However it still goes both ways, you invest some, she invest some, you invest more and she invest more. Note that who does what first is irrelevant if there's a return. In the very beginning I'll advise not to invest much, this to compensate for the risk of bigger losses if she doesn't return. This is why nobody here tells you to take her to fancy expensive dinners on first date, it would be a too big favor and an unwise investment.

Note also that having her invest much more than you do is unfair. If she's an idiot she will allow it, if she isn't she will notice and take you for being selfish and you'll probably lose her. The same applies the other way around, if you invest too much too soon you're an idiot, she will then either abuse that fact (you become the nice guy) or she will leave because she won't abuse and doesn't date weakminded idiots.

In the end there's gotta be a balance. Someone has to go first and then it's just to keep going.

 

[fastlife]

I'd take it a step further. The standard model of relationship equity is men give time, attention, resources, and commitment; women give sex. For 99% of men she meets that's her most powerful bargaining chip. If you can get sex with minimal investment (or genuinely be disinterested in chasing sex because you assume it's a given or a privilege she has to earn or you have other sources of it), then she has to bring other things to the table if she wants to keep you around. That's when you get girls cleaning for you, cooking for you, paying for your meals, being nurturing, etc. etc.

From the time I meet a girl I'm doing two things--giving commands and asking her questions about herself while talking about myself as little as possible. Commands such as "Sit down," "Follow me," "Get over here," "Take your shirt off," "Take off your bra," are super powerful. The trick is to believe 100% that she'll comply and she will. As far as asking questions, the point is for her to invest her ego on the line. Your job isn't to sell yourself as a good prospect but to get her to convince you that she is by investing her ego, personality, beliefs, etc. into the interaction. When you have her investing/invested you reward her by returning that investment and letting her see who you are.

 

[parkthebus]

In regards to it being balanced, yes that is true but your investment should be different. Her investment in you should be upon your request and her knowing what you expect of her. Yours should be spontaneous. Do things for her she isn't expecting, not something that she wants you to do. Obviously, you will both do a bit of both but remember that investment is another power play. You invest in her because you want to, not because she want's you too. In this regard, you hold the power over your investment. She invests in you because you want her too, not because she want's too. Her doing what you tell her = power. Power is dominance. Dominance creates tingles.

 

[Serenity]

In regards to it being balanced, yes that is true but your investment should be different. Her investment in you should be upon your request and her knowing what you expect of her. Yours should be spontaneous. Do things for her she isn't expecting, not something that she wants you to do. Obviously, you will both do a bit of both but remember that investment is another power play. You invest in her because you want to, not because she want's you too. In this regard, you hold the power over your investment. She invests in you because you want her too, not because she want's too. Her doing what you tell her = power. Power is dominance. Dominance creates tingles.

I disagree. Could be just me, but I fvcking hate when people do what I want them to do. I don't invest because anyone else wants me to though, but I don't want others to invest just because I want them to. It's a much greater (and truer) ego boost if they want to do things for me or be with me. You may get someone else to do whatever for you because you want it, but what is a slave worth? A woman who just nods and does my bidding without question or understanding is worthless in my eyes. They have greater value if they pose a challenge, if they show they have value and what they do is so good it doesn't come for free.

I lead, I don't boss. Meaning I want to teach her the freedom I have, not take away hers to my own advantage. After all I love my girlfriend, wanting someone to be a slave is no way to love and value.

 

[parkthebus]

I disagree. Could be just me, but I fvcking hate when people do what I want them to do. I don't invest because anyone else wants me to though, but I don't want others to invest just because I want them to. It's a much greater (and truer) ego boost if they want to do things for me or be with me. You may get someone else to do whatever for you because you want it, but what is a slave worth? A woman who just nods and does my bidding without question or understanding is worthless in my eyes. They have greater value if they pose a challenge, if they show they have value and what they do is so good it doesn't come for free.

I lead, I don't boss. Meaning I want to teach her the freedom I have, not take away hers to my own advantage. After all I love my girlfriend, wanting someone to be a slave is no way to love and value.

I think what you are saying you want from a woman is someone who gives you a "challenge" which is basically her way of getting you to invest in her therefore increasing your attraction to her.

 

[Serenity]

I think what you are saying you want from a woman is someone who gives you a "challenge" which is basically her way of getting you to invest in her therefore increasing your attraction to her.

Correct. I would find it painfully boring if I just got what I wanted without having to do something for it. Women are like a game, if I got all the best stuff right away there's nothing left to gain or advance to. If the game poses a challenge that can be overcome it's much more fun to play.

Same goes the other way around. If a man has good game she will invest, be more attracted and be emotionally engaged (giving attention) in you.

This is why playing hard to get is in many cases very effective, but many men and women play too hard. The challenge should be set up so it can be overcome. Too easy is boring and too hard makes people give up. This is common design in addictive video games, a challenge matched to the players competence creates the feeling of positive progress. This is just common human psychology.

 

[nismo-4]

Truth is when you do stuff like this women knew EXACTLY what you are doing. You can not hide stuff from women or fool them.

If you make excuses to reach out to them, they know EXACTLY what you are doing. This is why it always pays to be completely honest with them. Or avoid contact with them completely. The only way you can actually get inside a woman's head is to completely avoid her, and wait for her to reach out to you.

I saw a couple of NFL Cheerleaders in the mall recently. I completely avoided them and they never reached out to me.

You have to get them interested somehow. Waiting around for a woman to approach is not ideal. It would be great to have women approach us always, but that's not reality. Of course you need to break the ice somehow, before someone else does.

 

[Vivacity]

I do these kind of things and it works. I dont do this thinking of it as a game or so. It generally happens on its own if the girl is interested in you. I generally ask her to cook for me every now and then. I ask her to go out shopping with me and then decide some outfit for me. Sometimes when i dont have money left i ask her to pay for the date. If she is really into you then she will love doing things for u

As I see from your short profile on your AV, you are from India. Girls from India, Asia, Middle east, South America, all behave better than the girls from the westernized countries like US, UK, Australia. The girls from India, Asia, Middle east, South America are more family-oriented than the girls from US, UK, Australia, and therefore, more submissive (i.e., Indian/Asian/Middle Eastern/South American) and willing to follow the lead of their man. What is marriage success rate like, in India? 99%? So, only 1% of marriages end in divorce. When you compare it to a western country like US, the marriage success/failure rate is 50%. 1 out of 2 marriages in the U.S. end in a divorce.

People who hang out on this forum are predominantly from the western countries such as US, UK, or Australia, and I don't think you can offer any input to us, if you did not spend any time in the western countries, nor you can take any advice from guys here. The cultural difference is huge.