Getting a girl I'm dating's interest level back up? - Using 'Push-Pull'

[NickSCFC2000]

So basically, I've been dating this girl for around 2 months now. Initially, I think she was the one with the higher interest, always jumping to say 'YES' as soon as I arranged a date.

But lately (past 2 or 3 weeks) her interest seems to have waned, I'm slowly beginning to feel like I'm chasing and she's getting bored of me.

I could just see how things go, but I'd like to get her intesrest level back to how it was in the beginning.

We're supposed to be going out tonight, she doesn't seem too excited by it (compared to how she USED to be), so I'm wondering, if I started to act less interested, cancel the dat and just send her a casual text message along the lines of...

''Hey, got a couple of mates back in town tonight, so have arranged meet up with them, hope ur ok with that, speak soon''

...would that have a possitive effect. I remember reading an article a while back (I think by David D'Angelo) about after a month, when your girl's got comfertable, it's time for the 'EARTHQUAKE'.

Have you guys experienced a girl's interest lowering, only to have it jump back up by using these techniques?

 

[DJDamage]

We're supposed to be going out tonight, she doesn't seem too excited by it (compared to how she USED to be), so I'm wondering, if I started to act less interested, cancel the dat and just send her a casual text message along the lines of...

Solution: Spin more plates.

This is why its best to date multiple number of girls.

If one of them starts to lose her interest then instead of sweating and thinking/employing numerous strategies on how to get her interest levels high again, you just go out with other girls.

If her interests are raised and she comes back around - Great.

If she doesn't? who cares, you got other women who want to ride your c0ck.

 

[NickSCFC2000]

Maybe, but don't have time to be spinning plates right now, can see where you're coming from though. Infact I'd recommend it to most people if they could.

Anyway, has anyone had a situation like this and turned it around using 'push and pull', well, maybe just 'push'?

 

[playerone]

What DJDamage said is the best solution.

Well, it's been 2 months, and you haven't got her yet. It's taking too long and attraction will die out. If you're not spinning plates at the moment, just be indifferent towards her and find some girls to go out with. Talk to her on the phone as usual, set up a date, and see if she turns up. If she does, there's always a chance to flirt and get her attracted again. If she flakes on you or says she's busy, just say "alright then ", with the smile, and move on.

There's nothing much you can really do when her interest level goes down. Normally, guys would try too hard to attract her again, and this would portray neediness, most of the time. What you do is, try to set up a last resort date, and if she's still interested, you know she will turn up. Or else, have some backbone to man up and walk away anytime.

 

[NickSCFC2000]

I usually wouldn't be too bothered. I date a lot of girl's, but rarely do I meet one who's personality so suits mine, so much that we just CLICK.

I've known her for a around 8 months at work (I left working there around 3 months back). We've always known we liked eachother, and there was always good tension, to the point where she asked me out about 4 months ago and I said I wasn't sure because of us working together and things getting awkward.

I caved in about 7 weeks ago and took her out and it was great at the start, told each other we liked each other but always teased eachother and had a bit of banter.

This past week or so she hasn't seemed as interested, she's been a bit stressed with some personal issues (sorting out debts with her ex), so I can understand that, we've discussed it and she gave hints that she didn't want us to carry on with this.

Anyway, I cancelled our date tonight, and she replied by saying with all the stuff she had going on in her life it was for the best.

 

[Kevin Feng]

Girls loose interest all the time, it's all part of the game.

Honestly, the best fix for this situation is to have a LOT OF WOMEN IN your life.

"Your biggest enemies are insecurity and neediness" - APB

If you have an abundant amount of women in your life, you don't need to worry about any girl in specific, you'll convey less neediness because you'll just care about her less.

If you have other women in your life, she'll feel more drawn into you, because your "price goes up", if you just have one girl in your life, it's going to hurt you.

-Kevin

 

[NickSCFC2000]

I'm not fussed about being a player, I'm looking for a relationship, like most guys want and what ALOT of guys have.

However I'm not going to jump into one with any girl, I can take it or leave it, but when I feel I've met a worthy girl (personality as much as looks) I'm totally up for playing it cool so I don't screw up. I have alot of friends in great relationships with the girl who was right for them, but even tehy had to do a bit of push and pull at the beginning, they say it's all a bit of fun before things get serious.

 

[DonJuan11]

So basically, I've been dating this girl for around 2 months now. Initially, I think she was the one with the higher interest, always jumping to say 'YES' as soon as I arranged a date.

But lately (past 2 or 3 weeks) her interest seems to have waned, I'm slowly beginning to feel like I'm chasing and she's getting bored of me.

I could just see how things go, but I'd like to get her intesrest level back to how it was in the beginning.

We're supposed to be going out tonight, she doesn't seem too excited by it (compared to how she USED to be), so I'm wondering, if I started to act less interested, cancel the dat and just send her a casual text message along the lines of...

''Hey, got a couple of mates back in town tonight, so have arranged meet up with them, hope ur ok with that, speak soon''

...would that have a possitive effect. I remember reading an article a while back (I think by David D'Angelo) about after a month, when your girl's got comfertable, it's time for the 'EARTHQUAKE'.

Have you guys experienced a girl's interest lowering, only to have it jump back up by using these techniques?

What the heck is an "earthquake" mean?

Whoa dude, you have got it so wrong its not even funny. Your goal with a girl you are dating is to make her have fun with you when she's with you. She has to be entertained, forget her problems, feel good about herself. If you continually do these things, she won't lose interest.

''Hey, got a couple of mates back in town tonight, so have arranged meet
up with them, hope ur ok with that, speak soon''

This casual text message canceling your date at the last minute does not make her feel sexy, important, excited. It makes her feel like you don't care about her and are only using her for sex. If you want her interest level to drop faster than speeding bullet, go ahead and send it.

If you want get the interest level back, make sure she HAS A GOOD TIME when she's with you. I don't know how many times I have say this on here. One of the main reason girls are with you is so you can offer them A GOOD TIME. If you can't do that or are running out of material, don't send a casual text message pretending you are busy to boost her own ego and put her down.

 

[Planiryywer]

Thank you informed me.

 

[pyros]

you do not click that well, you know why...? because her interest in you has declined. If you were more compatible, it would be going up, not down.

Besides you commented something about she having to arrange some financial stuff with her ex...whoah whoah...ex in the picture...

Besides, when you cancelled it you actually relieved her. As you said, she was not very excited about going out with you and when you cancelled it you made her day.

She is not very into you, accept it.

Now, you can ask her out and see if you two have fun, and if not, or if she seems bored and not excited to see you, you should forget about her. Do you know why...? because why would you want to waste your time, money, energy etc, in a girl that doesn't reciprocate that interest? ie, a girl that would rather classify her socks instead of seing you?

Nothing else you can do.
As someone above said, girls loose interest all the time. It could be on date 1, date 11, after four months...etc.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

I'm not fussed about being a player, I'm looking for a relationship, like most guys want and what ALOT of guys have.

However I'm not going to jump into one with any girl, I can take it or leave it, but when I feel I've met a worthy girl (personality as much as looks) I'm totally up for playing it cool so I don't screw up. I have alot of friends in great relationships with the girl who was right for them, but even tehy had to do a bit of push and pull at the beginning, they say it's all a bit of fun before things get serious.

This right here is saturated with neediness. First, the idea behind being "a player" is numerous - to have more (and better choices), to learn how to get (and stay) good with women, and to keep neediness at bay. Dropping some push-pull here and there isn't going to magically transform your situation into a relationship, much less increase her (waning) attraction for you because you hit all the 'right' buttons. I'm betting that your desire for a relationship is actually keeping you from getting into one. Believe it or not, there's quite difference between having interest in a girl and having an interest in locking down a girl. You sound like you're on the outside looking in and want to join your friends and have yourself a girl to call your own as well. Again, this will manifest in your actions and screw things up in the long term. Resorting to tactics to get that one special girl almost always turns into a square peg in a round hole type of scenario. Furthermore, please take my word for it: you DO NOT want to have a girl with low interest in you for a girlfriend - it's about a million times worse than being single and lonely.

 

[nismo-4]

Someone's gonna flake first, might as well be you. But since she isn't interested, delete her number. She wants you to anyway.

Case closed.

 

[jnMissouri]

Is she trying to work it out with her ex? Is she dating someone else with you as backup? Create competition, let her know you are dating other women and stop talking to her. Definaty not a s#it test...