Getting a bit lonely while in monk mode.

[deltabeta]

Hey guys,

I'm in my last year of university and also been working on my pilot's license since I hope to get into airlines 3-4 years from now. I've been working out 3-5 days a week over the last 6 months. I am seeing gains however I've been getting incredibly lonely this last year. I have friends but I've never had any intimate connection with anyone since childhood. Not with parents, nor siblings ( I don't have any). Except for this one girl who ****ed me over emotionally and mentally 7 years ago after which I went redpill.

It's really weird right now, I have been working so hard with almost no reward. I'm hoping to get some positive news next summer when I graduate from school and get the commercial license but right now it's a struggle. Any advice?

 

[resilient]

Ok so this will be a long reply. I broke it up into paragraphs to make it easier to read.

First off, props for getting the career progress bar further.

Secondly, you’re lifting solid and seeing gains consistently for the last 6 months... good job.

Thirdly, I’m going to caution you to let the poison out from this ex who “pushed” you into the red pill. It’s important to think often and internalize many red pill beliefs, just don’t go taking every word to heart like scripture. Use your own intuition and life experience to figure out what works for you best.

Getting jaded over what’s happened to you is going to effect your energy in set particularly when you’re attracted to another women and may subtlety fear getting emotionally and mentally taken to the cleaners again.

So you got to forgive the past...you don’t have to forget it though, you just have to decide to move on with your life with as clean of a slate as you can manage. We all have baggage to an extent, it’s how you choose to view that baggage that counts in future dealings. They can be affective life lessons in what to avoid if you learn from your mistakes.

I’m in monk mode now as well... stay productive, stay social.

The one thing I suggest you do is get out there around people after you tend to your primary priorities.

Plan for several social events so your social schedule is booked while you’re in the monk drought. That way when you do acquire plates, you’ll be in a much more socially congruent state and will excel better at interpersonal social dynamics.

That’s the rub with monk mode, if you isolate too much, you get rusty in set.

Finally, if you spin or decide on an LTR, don’t make the mistake most new couples make and stop seeing their friends or attending to their own hobbies they love in alone down time. That will kill attraction and make you needy.

 

[deltabeta]

Ok so this will be a long reply. I broke it up into paragraphs to make it easier to read.

First off, props for getting the career progress bar further.

Secondly, you’re lifting solid and seeing gains consistently for the last 6 months... good job.

Thirdly, I’m going to caution you to let the poison out from this ex who “pushed” you into the red pill. It’s important to think often and internalize many red pill beliefs, just don’t go taking every word to heart like scripture. Use your own intuition and life experience to figure out what works for you best.

Getting jaded over what’s happened to you is going to effect your energy in set particularly when you’re attracted to another women and may subtlety fear getting emotionally and mentally taken to the cleaners again.

So you got to forgive the past...you don’t have to forget it though, you just have to decide to move on with your life with as clean of a slate as you can manage. We all have baggage to an extent, it’s how you choose to view that baggage that counts in future dealings. They can be affective life lessons in what to avoid if you learn from your mistakes.

I’m in monk mode now as well... stay productive, stay social.

The one thing I suggest you do is get out there around people after you tend to your primary priorities.

Plan for several social events so your social schedule is booked while you’re in the monk drought. That way when you do acquire plates, you’ll be in a much more socially congruent state and will excel better at interpersonal social dynamics.

That’s the rub with monk mode, if you isolate too much, you get rusty in set.

Finally, if you spin or decide on an LTR, don’t make the mistake most new couples make and stop seeing their friends or attending to their own hobbies they love in alone down time. That will kill attraction and make you needy.

Thanks for the reply! I've been into the whole redpill thing for a while and I agree, sometime you gotta stay and look for things that work for you. I just like visiting the forum because sometimes there are really wise posts. One thing I have noticed since I have cut female friends from my life (they were losers anyway), the peace of mind is unreal and I don't need to be an emotional tampon for someone.

 

[dustmuffin]

Thanks for the reply! I've been into the whole redpill thing for a while and I agree, sometime you gotta stay and look for things that work for you. I just like visiting the forum because sometimes there are really wise posts. One thing I have noticed since I have cut female friends from my life (they were losers anyway), the peace of mind is unreal and I don't need to be an emotional tampon for someone.

You might want to try meetups once in awhile. You get to meet people doing an activity that you like and are there for the same reason you are. To have fun and maybe make a friend.

I don't have a large social circle. Maybe 6 guys that I keep in contact with but, they are married and do the married thing. We meet maybe a few times a year. As far as relatives I have my mother. My father and brother are dead. I keep in contact with her on a bi-weekly basis or if she needs money from me. It's strange. She was independently wealthy and squandered it all. Now she hits me up for cash to pay her bills. I don't mind because she is my mother and I am glad to help. Anyway I'm rambling.

One last thought. I have reached a point in life where I am happy just being with me. Try to be happy with just you. You don't have to cut out others but it is important to be happy with just your company. You can come across as needy if you aren't content with yourself.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Hey guys,

I'm in my last year of university and also been working on my pilot's license since I hope to get into airlines 3-4 years from now. I've been working out 3-5 days a week over the last 6 months. I am seeing gains however I've been getting incredibly lonely this last year. I have friends but I've never had any intimate connection with anyone since childhood. Not with parents, nor siblings ( I don't have any). Except for this one girl who ****ed me over emotionally and mentally 7 years ago after which I went redpill.

It's really weird right now, I have been working so hard with almost no reward. I'm hoping to get some positive news next summer when I graduate from school and get the commercial license but right now it's a struggle. Any advice?

My advice would be to realize this moment for what it is and use it to make yourself mentally tough, wise and awakened. Many great men have felt the same way before and after they found success. I'm in the same spot myself btw...so I'm taking in info that others are posting, too.

I know that's not the greatest answer. I guess what I'm trying to say is realize this feeling isn't necessarily a bad thing if you can use it in the right way.

 

[deltabeta]

One last thought. I have reached a point in life where I am happy just being with me. Try to be happy with just you. You don't have to cut out others but it is important to be happy with just your company. You can come across as needy if you aren't content with yourself.

Yeah I have been really focusing on my state of mind and trying to build a rock solid frame that is stable like a gyroscope when I'm happy, sorrowful, excited, or anxious.

 

[wifehunter]

Enjoy 'monk mode' while you can!!!

 

[marmel75]

The same way you are making things happen in school, with your pilots license and at the gym is the same way you need to make things happen with women. Sitting around thinking doing a bunch of stuff to improve and then they are all going to just magically fall into your lap is pure silliness. It's not going to happen.

You still have to make it happen. So, go make it happen like you have the other things. Simple as that. If that means getting yourself out there on the weekends, then do it. If it means socializing at parties more, then do it. If it means going online and learning how to kill it there, then do it. The easiest way for nothing to happen tho, is to do nothing.

 

[Trump]

It's really weird right now, I have been working so hard with almost no reward. I'm hoping to get some positive news next summer when I graduate from school and get the commercial license but right now it's a struggle. Any advice?

If you are working hard to get a "reward" you will be so so disappointed. If you are working hard because you like giving back to people and helping society, great things will happen.

This is one of the issues with this site. It gives the impression that working out, getting rich, dressing well, being alpha, having tons of friends, being a fun and enjoying life = tons of hot hot girls ready and willing to have sex with you anytime. Nothing could be further from the truth. Sex with good looking girls has NOTHING to do with how HARD you work.

Sex with good looking girls has to go with GENETICS and LUCK. Men being in the gym 2 hours a day or working their butts off to gain employment somewhere means nothing to girls. NOTHING.

 

[deltabeta]

The same way you are making things happen in school, with your pilots license and at the gym is the same way you need to make things happen with women. Sitting around thinking doing a bunch of stuff to improve and then they are all going to just magically fall into your lap is pure silliness. It's not going to happen.

You still have to make it happen. So, go make it happen like you have the other things. Simple as that. If that means getting yourself out there on the weekends, then do it. If it means socializing at parties more, then do it. If it means going online and learning how to kill it there, then do it. The easiest way for nothing to happen tho, is to do nothing.

I understand that however, I want to really focus on school since its my last year and flying takes the rest of my time. I want to be as self-reliant as possible before I start to game again. Rejections sting and I've been asking girls out but to get a better success rate, I want to work on my body and my mental frame for atleast 8 months. But ofcourse, to make anything happen, I gotta be out there, pushing myself. It's more like a car maintenance for now before it revs again.

 

[deltabeta]

If you are working hard to get a "reward" you will be so so disappointed.

By that I meant simple things like completion of my degree and license which took 4 years and will take 1 year more.

Yeah I know women don't care about my work nor do I want them to care, I'm doing it for myself.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

By that I meant simple things like completion of my degree and license which took 4 years and will take 1 year more.

Yeah I know women don't care about my work nor do I want them to care, I'm doing it for myself.

Why wouldn't they care, and why wouldn't you want them to care about something you've worked hard for?

Do they care about something else instead? Like what?

 

[marmel75]

I understand that however, I want to really focus on school since its my last year and flying takes the rest of my time. I want to be as self-reliant as possible before I start to game again. Rejections sting and I've been asking girls out but to get a better success rate, I want to work on my body and my mental frame for atleast 8 months. But ofcourse, to make anything happen, I gotta be out there, pushing myself. It's more like a car maintenance for now before it revs again.

Well its not going to sting any less 8 months from now either. The more it happens the less it stings. The ONLY way to improve with women in any real manner is to be out there talking to them, interacting with and dating them. Self improvement is all well and good but nothing can beat experience and learning from it.

Think of it like this. Would they just give you a pilots license if all you did was read about how to fly a plane? Hell no...you have to be out there putting into practice what you have learned about amd flying a certain number of hours. Women are no different. Once you have put in enough time with women you will begin improving...slowly at first but faster and faster as time goes on...like a snowball rolling downhill.

 

[resilient]

Once you have put in enough time with women you will begin improving...slowly at first but faster and faster as time goes on...like a snowball rolling downhill.

Agreed.

That's why I've been telling other guys to (and following my own advice for those who have zero plates) go out and be social. Too much isolation leads to sloppy, anxious, approach anxiety, low-frame, social incongruence while in monk mode too long.

I've been plate less since April and felt like giving up on dating for a few years while I figure out my career. I don't want to remain a wallflower forever, so the last month or so I've ramped up going out socially all the time.

Most of my game is social circle game, yet it helps that there are fresh faces in the rotation all the time to practice flirting. One thing I could probably work on is more flirting, playful vibe instead of just rapport. A natural in my group exchanges playful jabs with the woman, but then will bring her in for a hug or lift them up in the pool like push/pull. They eat it up.

I did work up the courage to take a girl by the hand, lead her out onto some dance space and pull my best ballroom dancing moves on her. She was impressed when I lead and asked what style of ballroom dancing it was. I mulled the decision in my head for five minutes then finally worked up the courage to act "now or never" and move forward.

 

[corrector]

Hey guys,

I'm in my last year of university and also been working on my pilot's license since I hope to get into airlines 3-4 years from now. I've been working out 3-5 days a week over the last 6 months. I am seeing gains however I've been getting incredibly lonely this last year. I have friends but I've never had any intimate connection with anyone since childhood. Not with parents, nor siblings ( I don't have any). Except for this one girl who ****ed me over emotionally and mentally 7 years ago after which I went redpill.

It's really weird right now, I have been working so hard with almost no reward. I'm hoping to get some positive news next summer when I graduate from school and get the commercial license but right now it's a struggle. Any advice?

I think you have a good life since you are fulfilling your dreams of becoming a pilot and are improving yourself. If you are feeling lonely then perhaps you have a "God-shaped" vacuum inside and are realizing there is something more out there than can be fulfilled by what you are doing, and you are searching for Jesus. No matter what you are doing now, your life sounds empty without God.