Most of us go through our lives living as many other people think we should, not completely, but far more than we should. By this I mean we live within other people's boundaries and expectations, i.e. your parents, brothers or sisters, friends..etc. I’m not necessarily talking about peer pressure, although that is part of it, what I’m referring to is even mostly restraints on you, from yourself, that you do or don’t do certain things only because you never really have before. The clothes you wear, the car you drive, if you dance at a bar or not, these are just a few things that if you suddenly changed, your friends or family may say “YOU don’t wear those do you?” Confidence is again paramount here, but you need to somehow find a way to break out of this box that they, and especially yourself, have put you in all these years.
I’m not saying to run out and buy a dog collar to put around your neck just to be different, but you should slowly start rediscovering yourself, by yourself, without the help of your friends and family. You could even ask a female friend to help you out. Ask her to be completely and brutally honest, because if she can see something, so can the rest of the world. She may or may not tell you that you have bad breath on occasion, but she may tell you that if you adjusted your posture, you would look more athletic, or that if you changed your hair..etc, you can take or leave her advice, but many things about yourself are hard to see from your point of view (i.e, the breath thing)
I occasionally think of myself as being 87 years old, sitting in a chair in a home somewhere, staring out a window, not really knowing who or where I am, not knowing if I worked at General Motors all my life or served in Napoleon’s army, thinking back on my life and wishing I could’ve changed this or that, wishing now that I would’ve taken more chances, screw the consequences. I wish I would’ve somehow ditched the ugly red car that I drove for years and got something a lot nicer, I wish I had more confidence back then, I really don’t know what I was afraid of. I wish I could’ve been a lot happier, had more fun with the ladies, lived a more adventurous life......then you slowly fall asleep again in your chair.....
Suddenly you wake up, you are back to your current age, you stand up excitingly, you have your real teeth, no more arthritis, you have both testicles again. Now you have that second chance to live the life that you should have lived the first time.
Little things no longer bother you, you now have the confidence to tell others “you know, I never really liked wearing those shoes anyway, I think I’m going to get something completely different” You now start looking through your closest and throwing out some of the clothes that you should’ve thrown out long ago. You reevaluate your status with your current girlfriend, your job, your car..everything. You slowly start becoming a more distinctive person, doing exactly what this new you wants, and only this new you. If you have something that you somehow acquired sometime ago and you really don’t now why you still have it, pitch it. If you drink the same beer as all your friends, maybe you should try others just to find out what this new distinctive you wants.
I have recently went through something like this, a personal renaissance if you will, and the confidence seems to be skyrocketing. I am not ****y by any means, but I now do things because “I” like doing them, not because “I don’t know, I always have”, or because your friends and family think you should. And since we’ve all heard that Perception = Reality, I’ve been running, lifting weights like I’ve never done before, and it’s making a huge difference in my life. Everything is now better and seems easier.
Another great exercise is to pretend that somehow “God’s Computer” had a glitch of some kind, and everything about you was lost. So he (or she?) has asked you to fill out some form describing in detail who you are and he’ll get right on it and sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused. So now, with a blank sheet of paper in front of you, you can simply start filling in anything, you can simply fill in the person that you wanted to be but never really had the time to be yet. For example:
I was thin and very athletic
I was extremely confident
I had nice clothes
I had an opinion that counted
I was a great public speaker
I usually would “score with the babes”
I was somewhat mysterious at times
I was very cavalier
I was always in a good mood unless there was a specific reason not to be
...etc
After a while you get a complete sculpture of how you should be like, and as you read your list on occasion, you will slowly become that person. You will not become JFK Jr. overnight, but just like someone on this board said earlier “thinking that you are Prince Charming to women is the first step in becoming that Prince”
You are the one who knows you best. I’ve even made a list of my biggest faults or those things that are keeping me from being confident and started attacking those things.
As soon as you get on a little groove, you start becoming more and more confident, more ambitious, more distinctive, you have more passion for your life, nothing seems to bother you like it did before, you start getting more attention from the babes, but you are, at times, too busy to even take notice. You are a man on the rise and all of the world can now see it.
I’m not saying to run out and buy a dog collar to put around your neck just to be different, but you should slowly start rediscovering yourself, by yourself, without the help of your friends and family. You could even ask a female friend to help you out. Ask her to be completely and brutally honest, because if she can see something, so can the rest of the world. She may or may not tell you that you have bad breath on occasion, but she may tell you that if you adjusted your posture, you would look more athletic, or that if you changed your hair..etc, you can take or leave her advice, but many things about yourself are hard to see from your point of view (i.e, the breath thing)
I occasionally think of myself as being 87 years old, sitting in a chair in a home somewhere, staring out a window, not really knowing who or where I am, not knowing if I worked at General Motors all my life or served in Napoleon’s army, thinking back on my life and wishing I could’ve changed this or that, wishing now that I would’ve taken more chances, screw the consequences. I wish I would’ve somehow ditched the ugly red car that I drove for years and got something a lot nicer, I wish I had more confidence back then, I really don’t know what I was afraid of. I wish I could’ve been a lot happier, had more fun with the ladies, lived a more adventurous life......then you slowly fall asleep again in your chair.....
Suddenly you wake up, you are back to your current age, you stand up excitingly, you have your real teeth, no more arthritis, you have both testicles again. Now you have that second chance to live the life that you should have lived the first time.
Little things no longer bother you, you now have the confidence to tell others “you know, I never really liked wearing those shoes anyway, I think I’m going to get something completely different” You now start looking through your closest and throwing out some of the clothes that you should’ve thrown out long ago. You reevaluate your status with your current girlfriend, your job, your car..everything. You slowly start becoming a more distinctive person, doing exactly what this new you wants, and only this new you. If you have something that you somehow acquired sometime ago and you really don’t now why you still have it, pitch it. If you drink the same beer as all your friends, maybe you should try others just to find out what this new distinctive you wants.
I have recently went through something like this, a personal renaissance if you will, and the confidence seems to be skyrocketing. I am not ****y by any means, but I now do things because “I” like doing them, not because “I don’t know, I always have”, or because your friends and family think you should. And since we’ve all heard that Perception = Reality, I’ve been running, lifting weights like I’ve never done before, and it’s making a huge difference in my life. Everything is now better and seems easier.
Another great exercise is to pretend that somehow “God’s Computer” had a glitch of some kind, and everything about you was lost. So he (or she?) has asked you to fill out some form describing in detail who you are and he’ll get right on it and sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused. So now, with a blank sheet of paper in front of you, you can simply start filling in anything, you can simply fill in the person that you wanted to be but never really had the time to be yet. For example:
I was thin and very athletic
I was extremely confident
I had nice clothes
I had an opinion that counted
I was a great public speaker
I usually would “score with the babes”
I was somewhat mysterious at times
I was very cavalier
I was always in a good mood unless there was a specific reason not to be
...etc
After a while you get a complete sculpture of how you should be like, and as you read your list on occasion, you will slowly become that person. You will not become JFK Jr. overnight, but just like someone on this board said earlier “thinking that you are Prince Charming to women is the first step in becoming that Prince”
You are the one who knows you best. I’ve even made a list of my biggest faults or those things that are keeping me from being confident and started attacking those things.
As soon as you get on a little groove, you start becoming more and more confident, more ambitious, more distinctive, you have more passion for your life, nothing seems to bother you like it did before, you start getting more attention from the babes, but you are, at times, too busy to even take notice. You are a man on the rise and all of the world can now see it.
Last edited:
Maybe I'll do that soon 
