Get attraction, OK. Now what?

[AntoniousIV]

Yeah bro, keep it simple. "Hey, you seem like a cool girl. Would you like to hang out sometime?"

I like this.

 

[AntoniousIV]

With all these IOIs you were getting, a simple “hello” would have worked.

The power

They only want to be pursued by guys they have enough interest in to put in the secondary lineup zone, but not in the starting lineup zone. The guys they have the highest interest do not have to lift a finger because the girl outs in 99% of the work for. If they find you ugly then they just say" awww that's cute, but I have a boyfriend" or call you a creep.

Don't they show resistance in the beginning to not feel or be called hoes? Maybe girls in the west don't care about that stuff, but I'm from a 3rd world country.

 

[CornbreadFed]

The power

Don't they show resistance in the beginning to not feel or be called hoes? Maybe girls in the west don't care about that stuff, but I'm from a 3rd world country.

don’t girls from 3rd world countries work as sex tourists, sex criminals, escorts, and porn stars? Still a woman at the end of the day. Their true colors will shine for Chad or money.

 

[Tilex]

This. Remember. The flirtier they are, the bigger the tip.
If you are good looking enough for these ‘professional flirtations’ to be ‘real flirtations’. You already know it.
But focusing on Waitresses/Bartenders (which I have dated many). A few ‘Tells’.
Do they ask a lot of probing questions?, Do they compliment your looks? Do they give you free food or drinks? Do they ‘hang out’ in your vicinity? Are they giggly & giddy? Do they focus on you rather than they guys you’re with?
Sometimes, your buddies might catch what you miss. Two examples.
1) My friends and I would go to a cafe once a week & play cards. The cashier was super flirty with me. My friends said: ‘You better ask her out or she’ll think you’re gay.’
2) My Hapacel friend and I were at a brewpub. The waitress, who was really young was very friendly & flirty. She hung out in our area slowely washing tables and smiling in our direction. My friend said: ‘she’s hanging out here because she wants to talk to you.’. I said. ‘How do you know.’. He replied. ‘She’s been hanging out here doing nothing and she flouncy around you.’.

Your friends are the perfect wingman. This is the true definition of how a
wingman or wingwoman should be.
They are a 2nd set of eyes that can interpret signals that are meant for you.
At the same time you are their 2nd set of eyes that can interpret signals that are meant for them.

 

[crowolf]

Now get game. Be playful, tease, socialize, have fun, flirt, close…

 

[BaronOfHair]

Remember. The flirtier they are, the bigger the tip

And since summer of '84, waitresses have been all too aware... A gal ending up in the middle of a San Ysidro-esque incident* is a hazard of the job

Being sweet and girly, whilst serving a recently-fired security guard, could very well be all that ensures them not one day leaving work with more holes than the 3 they were born with, should that ex-security guard return bearing a Browning HP and an Uzi

*https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Ysidro_McDonald's_massacre

 

[RangerMIke]

So I've been on a self development journey for a couple of years.
And I've gotten the physique, haircut (attraction) part down. But what now?

I work as a bartender part-time while finishing my studies. And sometimes we go to the restaurants near us to get a pack of beer or something that we don't have.

I've been going to multiple different restaurants and most of the girls give me IOI's, but the problem is my mind goes blank.

I had a situation where all the waiters were serving a table and I was alone with the cute bartender which was giving me ioi's but my mind was blank. And I didn't say anything.

This also happened a few weeks ago to a girl who still gives me IOI's but my mind is blank.

Edit 1:
I forgot to say, I get ideas of what to say afterwards, like (Do you go out in this city? , let's go together. etc)

Any advice?

Invite women to go along with what you like to do. It isn't rocket science.

If you don't like to do anything... well women are not going to be interested in, you.

Get good hobbies, get out and do stuff. Meet women and bring them along... if she likes what you are doing and what you do with your free time, she'll hang around.... if not.... well onto the next one.

Don't try to impress women: be impressive... women are not stupid if you are planning things, you think SHE will like, she'll know, and she will get turned off.

Don't get inside your head, live life like you are trying to entertain yourself... stop thinking about what women might like... do what you like. She has to fit your life, if you are trying to twist yourself into a knot figuring out what she wants... she is the prize, and you are the dude at a fixed carnival game trying to win something you can not win.... AKA a sucker.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Invite women to go along with what you like to do. It isn't rocket science.

If you don't like to do anything... well women are not going to be interested in, you.

Get good hobbies, get out and do stuff. Meet women and bring them along... if she likes what you are doing and what you do with your free time, she'll hang around.... if not.... well onto the next one.

Don't try to impress women: be impressive... women are not stupid if you are planning things, you think SHE will like, she'll know, and she will get turned off.

Don't get inside your head, live life like you are trying to entertain yourself... stop thinking about what women might like... do what you like. She has to fit your life, if you are trying to twist yourself into a knot figuring out what she wants... she is the prize, and you are the dude at a fixed carnival game trying to win something you can not win.... AKA a sucker.

Create a rich, engaging life, then invite high quality women into it

 

[ParkBenchRomance]

You need to prepare some go-to openers. Generic enough to be used in most social situations, but also interesting enough to get an intriguing response. In your case, since you're buying from them, you could use something like: "Wow, you have such a great taste in drinks, I'm not sure what to get. Can you help me out?"

This does a few things: it's a compliment, it shows you're in need of her expertise, and it's a great segue into deeper conversation. If you're buying a bunch of beers, you can say something like: "I'm buying a bunch of beers, care to help me choose?"

And if it's a wine or spirits, you could say: "I'm not a big wine/spirits guy, can you recommend something? How about you?"

Or if you're feeling bold, you could simply say: "You look like you know how to have fun. What's your go-to order?"

Remember, the goal of an opener isn't to land a date, it's to start a conversation. Keep it light, fun, and engaging.

After the opener, your job is to keep the conversation going. Your questions can't be too deep too soon, because you're still in the rapport-building stage. Ask her about her favorite drinks, her favorite places, what she likes to do for fun.

If she's giving you IOI's, she's probably interested, so keep the conversation going, get her number, and set up a date. Remember, it's not about the opener, it's about what happens after.

 

[Chow Mein]

This. Remember. The flirtier they are, the bigger the tip.
If you are good looking enough for these ‘professional flirtations’ to be ‘real flirtations’. You already know it.
But focusing on Waitresses/Bartenders (which I have dated many). A few ‘Tells’.
Do they ask a lot of probing questions?, Do they compliment your looks? Do they give you free food or drinks? Do they ‘hang out’ in your vicinity? Are they giggly & giddy? Do they focus on you rather than they guys you’re with?
Sometimes, your buddies might catch what you miss. Two examples.
1) My friends and I would go to a cafe once a week & play cards. The cashier was super flirty with me. My friends said: ‘You better ask her out or she’ll think you’re gay.’
2) My Hapacel friend and I were at a brewpub. The waitress, who was really young was very friendly & flirty. She hung out in our area slowely washing tables and smiling in our direction. My friend said: ‘she’s hanging out here because she wants to talk to you.’. I said. ‘How do you know.’. He replied. ‘She’s been hanging out here doing nothing and she flouncy around you.’.

Yes, it’s hilarious how waitresses treat you when you come in with your plate and female friend. No attention whatsoever

 

[Gamisch]

I used to freeze up around pretty girls, it was very frustrating. Not the same, but similar to your situation. Basically you need to desensitize yourself some. Force yourself into interactions with these girls and start with some light flirting and then as you get used to it slowly amp it up. Baby steps if you have to.

A Lotta men have this issue. Especially incels. A lack of belief in oneself.

Gotta be confident in your ability to close around women. Imo OP gotta make a plan that involves taking risks and be more bold around women..

women love that shyte BUT you obviously gotta know how far you can take it according to the setting. She and you will both Know the endgoal is to " get her number " to say it politely ( aka blow her back out)

My take from the OP is more women than he knows view him as an 7/8 or perhaps even more...

 

[Brasidas]

@AntiniusIV. In my misspent youth I managed a night club in which male dancers entertained an exclusively female clientele. This was in a resort town. I have a decent amount of experience with female bartenders not only as friends, but as romantic partners. I would go to other clubs and chat up female bartenders. I would do this even outside of the resort town and do it to this day. I know the species relatively well. I would start off by saying that, in contrast to female bartenders, female dancers are impossible to game. They simply can’t be read. Don’t even try. Female bartenders can be gamed, but remember as you are running game on them, they are running game on you. I can assure you that they are far better at it than you. I’m challenged for time over the next couple of days but feel free to ask me anything about female bartenders and I will answer the questions as best I can.

 

[AntoniousIV]

don’t girls from 3rd world countries work as sex tourists, sex criminals, escorts, and porn stars? Still a woman at the end of the day. Their true colors will shine for Chad or money.

maybe older girls but im 19

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

maybe older girls but im 19

So, not 36 like your profile says? Naughty, naughty.