General Theory of Human Mating- read and learn

[Interceptor]

There are two different types of men in the world; the ones who acknowledge that women aren't the sweet, innocent creatures society makes them out out be, and the ones who still believe in the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and the "Quality" woman who is immune to all natural impulses.

Keep the faith guys...one day she will descend from heaven with all of the glory of Jesus Christ himself.

I'll bet she'll be a solid "10" too

What about the guy that doesnt believe that " women are the sweet, innocent creatures society makes them out out be, and DOESNT BELIEVE in the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and the "Quality" woman who is immune to all natural impulses"??????


A Third kind of Man???!!

But...how could that be????

Is it even possible???!

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Is it even possible???!

No. Not possible. You HAVE TO either believe that all women are evil backstabbing selfish branchswinging garden hoes whose only purpose in life is to search for innocent men and hypnotize them into thinking that they are sweet angels, only to crush their innocent hearts with the maximum amount of emotional pain

OR

you have to believe in the Easter Bunny who will cuddle you to sleep every night.

Few people realize that beliefs are actually binary, and that there is no middle ground, and that ALL women are made from the same mold despite vastly different family backgrounds, upbringings, goals, desires, dreams, fears, anxieties, hopes, capabilities of expression, self esteem, self confidence and about a million other aspects of personal history.

And even fewer people know that it only takes a few dozen experiences with women, and then you are ultimately qualified to make generalizations about HALF OF THE PEOPLE ON THE PLANET, and that your experiences with women HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.


Get with the program.

 

[ketostix]

Few people realize that beliefs are actually binary, and that there is no middle ground, and that ALL women are made from the same mold despite vastly different family backgrounds, upbringings, goals, desires, dreams, fears, anxieties, hopes, capabilities of expression, self esteem, self confidence and about a million other aspects of personal history.

But some things are black and white, T or F, or binary. For example, either quality women are rare or they are not. The only binary in this thread that shouldn't be binary, is when some posters say there's quality women and low quality women. Which is partially true but it overlooks the vast majority of women and says nothing of how many there are of each and to what degree. Most women are a mix of both. And most ALL women are made from the same mold. What molds them more than anything is the predominant social view.

And even fewer people know that it only takes a few dozen experiences with women, and then you are ultimately qualified to make generalizations about HALF OF THE PEOPLE ON THE PLANET, and that your experiences with women HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.

Well I think most guys who came to the conclusions they have by their 30's met more than a few dozen women. They met a lifetime of women, or at the very least all the women a man should ever need to meet whithin his youth. See there's a beautiful thing called statistics and a thing called a representive sample. So if you meet a random, representative sample (from school, work, church, randomly at the market etc.) and you found many of them have certain characteristics and few had other characteristics, it's not necessary to meet the entire population of women to draw conclusions, you know?

And your comment that it's the guys' fault women are the way they are, well you are casting aspersions and placing blame on a large number of men. I've yet to meet a straight forward and honest man who didn't think women commonly exhibit poor behavior.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

. See there's a beautiful thing called statistics and a thing called a representive sample. So if you meet a random, representative sample (from school, work, church, randomly at the market etc.)

A representative sample implies an inclusion of all likely variables from said population. People tend to meet people who are unconsciously screened through a set of filters that sort out those that aren't similar to them in many ways. Language, race, and socio-economic background being some of the most obvious filters.

People that you meet over the course of your life are in no way a random sampling of the plethora of different people that are out there, even in your own neighborhood. Unless you choose a random number (N) every morning, and then strike a friendship with the Nth person you meet every day, the people that you meet each day are already pre-selected by your unconscious criteria.


The harsh truth that many choose not to believe, or are afraid to believe, is that all you have to do is change your filters, open up and examine your criteria, which will drastically change the way you see the world.

Of course if you accept this truth, you have to let go of the ability to blame the world, evolution, conspiracies, women, whatever, for your problems. Not many people are EVER ready to do that.

 

[Luthor Rex]

The harsh truth that many choose not to believe, or are afraid to believe, is that all you have to do is change your filters, open up and examine your criteria, which will drastically change the way you see the world.

I really don't think it's THIS easy. Your environment is largely out of your control and it will effect who is available to you. If you live in the high crime part of the inner city, changing your perspective isn't going to stop you from hearing gunshots in the alleyway at night. That said, you can work to change your environment by physically moving yourself to somewhere else.

If you live next door to STR8UP where the *****-culture is running out of control, it's probably best to pack up and move away.

 

[ketostix]

A representative sample implies an inclusion of all likely variables from said population. People tend to meet people who are unconsciously screened through a set of filters that sort out those that aren't similar to them in many ways. Language, race, and socio-economic background being some of the most obvious filters.

People that you meet over the course of your life are in no way a random sampling of the plethora of different people that are out there, even in your own neighborhood. Unless you choose a random number (N) every morning, and then strike a friendship with the Nth person you meet every day, the people that you meet each day are already pre-selected by your unconscious criteria.


The harsh truth that many choose not to believe, or are afraid to believe, is that all you have to do is change your filters, open up and examine your criteria, which will drastically change the way you see the world.

Of course if you accept this truth, you have to let go of the ability to blame the world, evolution, conspiracies, women, whatever, for your problems. Not many people are EVER ready to do that.

Well I thought I respond to this last night, but I don't see it now. I'm not going to respond again other than to say that if you meet a sample of women in your city and in various parts of the country you live in then for all intents and purposes you met a representative sample that you can make conclusion about the population. And I disagree that others' behavior and actions are all dependent in how you filter them, and also women own their own behavior. It's not a man's fault.

 

[Interceptor]

Glass empty or half full.

Basically.


The way I see it is which perspective improves a man's life?

It seems that if one focuses on the half empty, or negative side, the MAJORITY of the time, the full side or positive side, is IGNORED.

Yet, if one chooses to focuse on the positive side, or the full side, then one is derided for being a Pollyanna, living in a fantasy world, not understanding that some people are able to focus on the good, yet still acknowledge and recognize the bad.
It appears that the ones who choose the half empty are the ones who ignore the good, thus, it appears they project their limitation on others thinking that others should see it the same way they do.
I have read about studies that our mind does tend to focus on the negative side. So negative thoughts in many ways are more powerful. So generally speaking, it IS easier to only see the half empty, because it seems our minds tend to go that way....



If some people recognize and acknowledge the half empty, but choose to focus on the full and positive and good, and it makes their life better because they see results, why the condescension?

A lot of times people have a vested interest in 'raining on someone's parade'.
I think its important to look behind the curtain and examine one's motivation for doing that to others.
Presenting information for others to choose to read and accept or not seems to be the best way to help others. Because everyone is at a certain stage, and they will only accept what theyre ready to accept at that time.

Finally, its my opinion that those who choose to see fully, and admit and acknowledge the half empty/bad side, yet still get up and continue to live as best as they can and work on creating their dream life anyway have RESILIENCY. A trait much needed in today's world.
Solid men who can create their world and get up repeatedly after being knocked down demonstrate resiliency.
And resiliency IMO is continually looking for and wanting to create and HAVE the GOOD and Positive, therefore, the half full....

 

[STR8UP]

Glass empty or half full.

Basically.


The way I see it is which perspective improves a man's life?

It seems that if one focuses on the half empty, or negative side, the MAJORITY of the time, the full side or positive side, is IGNORED.

And what exactly IS the positive side? That it is POSSIBLE that some women can and do suppress their natural impulses?

It is not a matter of half empty/half full, it's a matter of facing the facts or ignoring them.

I don't say "Stay away from all women, they are EVIL".

I say "Go into all interactions with the opposite sex with the same level of awareness that you would enter a business arrangement"

Most guys think "She loves me, so she could never do that!"

Would you enter into a business transaction with the same level of blind trust?

I think not.

It appears that the ones who choose the half empty are the ones who ignore the good, thus, it appears they project their limitation on others thinking that others should see it the same way they do.

So for the purposes that most men visit this board, would it not be more beneficial more closely scrutinize the potential downsides?

I go out into the real world every day looking for and looking at the positives. I have no choice- society doesn't allow you to be critical of women "in real life".

If some people recognize and acknowledge the half empty, but choose to focus on the full and positive and good, and it makes their life better because they see results, why the condescension?

Here's the deal.

I don't have a problem with looking at the good side. I really don't. But when the default response to problems with women is "You just need to find more QUALITY women!" something doesn't sit right with me.

I just know that most of the guys who say this honestly believe in the idea that there are women out there who would NEVER do anything to screw you over, that could care less about your money or status, etc,etc,etc, and that they will be able to tell with absolute certainty whether or not she is a mercenary or "good" girl by dating her for a year or two.

All you have to do is look around in real life. Watch how women behave when their man isn't around. Pay close attention. Check out the divorce stats. See how many of these are initiated by women. Look at the paternity fraud stats. Ask yourself, "How many couples am I close with who are TRULY happy with their relationship?"

I have a married ex g/f who just looked me up on facebook. I had to close my browser window cause she kept IMing me wanting to chat.

In a few weeks I'm hanging out with another chick I used to have sex with. She is thinking about moving in with her b/f. Bet he has no clue that she has been emailing me that she "misses me". Wonder if he would approve?

My business partner has his eye on a chick. I guess she has a b/f who lives in another city that might be getting ready to propose to her. Word on the street is that all he has to do is call her up and she will forget about the b/f.

Tell someone from your camp about these and many other situations, and they will simply write it off as all of these women being "low quality".

Keto said it best when he said this-

So we're still on that quality woman/low quality woman either or kick ? I thought the case was made that quality lies on a continuum with few extremely low quality women and few high quality women. And I thought a good case was made that the whole standard of women has been lowered by feminism and other modern day dogmas. So even your high quality western woman might not be all that quality.

The main thing is when something is so rare and in such high demand, it's as if it doesn't exist. If a woman is quality then she's not single and over 25 basically. Add to this women are chameleons and pretty sneaky. A woman can ACT like a quality woman to one guy, but when he's not around act like something else. I've seen it lots of times.

I highlighted the part that guys REALLY need to get through their heads.

A lot of times people have a vested interest in 'raining on someone's parade'.
I think its important to look behind the curtain and examine one's motivation for doing that to others.

C'mon man, this is one of the few places on planet earth where men who live in feminized western society can get together and share the truth. There is more than enough "positivity" toward women in the real world. This isn't raining on anyone's parade, it's giving them a healthy dose of reality they can't get anywhere else.

 

[Luthor Rex]

I don't have a problem with looking at the good side. I really don't. But when the default response to problems with women is "You just need to find more QUALITY women!" something doesn't sit right with me.

If you were walking through a desert, thirsty as all h3ll and you meet up with another man in the desert, and that man says "You just need to find some water!"

Saying "you just need to find some water" to a man dying of dehydration in the desert is about as helpful as telling a modern man "you just need to find a quality woman!" It's technically correct, but functionally inept.

If a woman is quality then she's not single and over 25 basically.

This is very true as well. Which is why we all need to be snatching up 18 year olds. Ok maybe 18 is a bit extreme, but: a woman is pretty much the person she is going to be by the time her teen years are over.

 

[Interceptor]

Good to know.
I think its always healthy to examine our perceptions and choose the wisest path for our highest good.

Everyone is going to choose what is best for them, it is a little egocentrical to try to demand others to follow our own exact choices and have the same exact perceptions.
So thats why I never agree with a kind of mind control, propoganda like blanketing of one's beliefs forced onto people.
Just because someone's voice is the loudest , doesnt mean it is the wisest one to listen to.


I often refer to a maxim that basically says that there are those who seek to educate, and there are those who seek to indocrinate.

And unfortunately, sometimes the roles get mixed up.

The ones who seek to educate, seek to liberate their fellow man.
The ones who seek to indoctrinate, seek to enslave their fellow man.


I think this should really settle in our minds....

I do agree that it is important that we have a place to share our views.
I would totally hate SS to turn into some sort of Loveshack abomination.
While I personally dont mind contribution from qualified women on SS, I still believe and always will believe that SS is a MEN'S Forum.
And this should be a 'safe' place to be ourselves.
Dissenting opinions will always manifest. But how we deal with it can be compassionate and understanding, or close minded and dismissive.

But for me personally, while I do share and engage in these topics and issues, Im personally drawn to trying to help my fellow man live in a higher standard and better quality of life as much as possible.
Truthfully, I think Im pretty wired to be honor bound and find it my duty to help my fellow man avoid pitfalls, and errors whenever I feel qualified to do so.
Some members here may think that this ay be a superiority complex manifesting itself in a hidden agenda driven, mind control enslavement disguised as 'advice'.
But the truth is not as devious or evil as some may want to believe it is.

My belief is that Men have the power, and ability within no matter WHAT external factors exist, to rise above these circumstances and choose a better reality than the one that seems to be handed out to us.


I for one, choose to reject another person's reality that disempowers me.
Since I have very strong sense of Self Trust, I am much more qualified to make informed decisions for myself than others are.
When I try to put my fellow man in a situation where he must hold himself and his beliefs accountable, and to reflect and examine if what he is truly choosing is coming from HIM, or is it somehow an unconscious reaction programmed by mind control oppressors is something I feel is extremely important to look at.

Having said that, I still state that it is completely within reality to see the negative side/half empty and still live in a reality of ONE'S Choosing.
If we here at SS espouse the creating of our dream life, and mastering our dominion and setting the frame and all that we hold to be true, and good for us, then how is it possible that the idea that 'reality' of someone else's creation is ALWAYS more Powerful than our OWN Desire??

I refuse to let someone else decide what is good for me. Or what I should be believing. Or letting someone else decide my worth and value, etc...
No one has that right. And no one but ourselves should.

So for me personally, while I understand the binary, either/or dynamic that you seem so convinced of, I disagree.
This doesnt and has never meant that I or others who may believe the same thing dont acknowledge or admit wrongdoing, poor behavior, lack of morality and ethics, etc among others.
I cant seem understand WHY it can only be one way.
Why cant one want to create a positive life, with things that make one happy and fulfilled, and still acknowledge that yes, a lot of women are total b*tches, gold diggers, and two timing tramps, etc etc....
But does that mean I , or you, or anyone else MUST deal with ONLY these females?
To me, if the answer is yes, then that means that I have given over my power, my choice, my RIGHT to make MY Decisions for ME....over to someone or something ELSE other than me.


This is why I have worked so much to be so Self Trusting and confident in MY ability to choose for ME.
What I often see is that many men do not have that same kind of self trust, and unfortunately then seem at the mercy of the 'femenist ' agenda , the fvcked up Matrix, all sorts of mind control, manipulation, and disempowering thought forms.

My position in wanting to focus on the good, is not to be BLIND to the Bad.
Which for some reason never gets understood here.
No matter what I,or others say, what comes across is that one is intentionally BLINDING oneself to the world, and its current reality.
And in my case, this is totally and completely incorrect.
Being positive, in my personal view, is to put the responsiblity of MY life in MY capable hands, DESPITE the negative aspects that I encounter.
So I never discredit or invalidate ANYONE'S negative experiences, nor mine of course, in order to live in a fantasy world.
In my opinion, there is no such thing as a fantasy world, only one in which I have MANEUVERED myself to only experience the BEST possible things that I desire to have in MY life. Because I KNOW how to handle the negative aspects, poor behavior and all those things.

You guys seem to always want to believe that someone like me, or others who believe along the same lines, as wanting to turn our head away from the 'dark side' or whatever in favor of some sort of fantasy or ILLUSION.
When that is, and NEVER WAS the case at all.
As if I, or others, want to promote a blindness, a disempowerment.
And that is most certainly not my ideal or intention at ALL.
So it confuses me when my message is not about being BLIND, its about being INFORMED and CAPABLE with essential life skills, it STILL rarely gets understood by you guys.
Those projections come across to ME,as me wanting to intentional not INFORM Men of the pitfalls of marriage, or infidelity, or gold diggers or whatever. And that is totally and never was the case...ever.
Nothing I have ever written here ever supported any notion,ideal, or intention to do such a thing.

I know that my only intent was/is to INFORM men of a wide spectrum of perception, notions, experiences,knowledge, scientific data, and teachings to EMPOWER men. Not to blind them to promote some stupid hidden agenda or propganda for womens interests or God knows what some of you guys are coming up with.


So I hope this addresses the weakness in IMO having a duality, binary thinking in terms of the half full/half empty premise. That the TRUTH is that one CAN see the half full/positive side and not be intentionally blinded to the negative realities.
One can still acknowledge and admit those things and still move courageously through that and any fear.
Ive said enough and hope that anyone who still plays that broken record to refer back to this post.

 

[Tazman]

I think it's too easy to focus on the "good". I mean, that's why I was having so many problems with women, there's a lot of fluff you have to filter through in order to see what's real. I was so gullible when dealing with women because I wasn't focused enough on what I truly wanted/deserved and that made me blind to what was unraveling before me.

If you don't learn to be aware of the common strategies/tactics used by women you'll end up having the carpet pulled from beneath your feet.

This doesn't mean you can't enjoy and care for women, hell that's effortless, it's knowing when to cut your losses and move forward that requires awareness and skepticism. Men and women compliment each other in ideal situations, but we still remain very much adversarial.

You also have to remember that a lot of the things we do for our own benefit are enacted "subconsciously". How many women know what a "sh-t test" is or that they actively use it?

I don't blame women for my lack of understanding them or for simply using whatever advantages are available to them. To ignore these things however, could cost you a great deal in the long or short term.

 

[Trader]

You are correct about the dark nature of girls that is inherent in ALL girls.

What you fail to realize though is that there are *good* girls - relative to others.

The reason why those girls are *good* is not because they are inherently good but because they have had male morality imposed on them either through their family or church.

[Aside] Now obviously if you set up enough temptation and opportunity, even the *good* girl will succumb to her selfish base nature. That's why throughout history, so much effort was made to put the girl in her place, and not to let her run wild.

The ancients knew of this dark nature in girls and sought to keep them penned down through a variety of social institutions.

 

[Jeffst1980]

Even if there WAS no such thing as a "quality woman," would it change things that much? Shouldn't you STILL walk away from girls that treat you badly? It really isn't much of an issue.

The problem with fixating on the bad is that it will undermine your future LTRs. If you don't want a LTR, that's fine, but there needs to be a degree of trust for a relationship to last. An adversarial relationship doesn't last.

Girls have a dark side inherent to them. So do we. It doesn't make either gender unequivocally bad--humans are neither good or bad.

The minute you start on a path that says that girls can not suppress this selfish nature is when you tacitly give them a free pass. We don't want to do that here; we want to uphold women to the same standards and make them accountable for their actions.

Most girls that you date will amount to nothing. But, even if you date 100 girls and 99 of them could be considered, "low quality," you can feel good about doing your job to filter them out. It's just part of the process, and hopefully you had some fun along the way.

I don't think you should ever go into a relationship with blind trust, but it's better to operate under an "innocent until proven guilty" mindset. That way, you don't screw things up by preemptively acting like a d!ck. If you don't give a girl enough warm and fuzzy, loving feelings, you're going to lose her.

Most of the time, red flags are freakin obvious. Going out of your way to find them is really REACTIVE behavior, because it reflects your insecurity with the situation. Use the energy you expend looking for red flags and redirect it on improving yourself--that's being PROACTIVE. The amount of good feelings you have as a couple should be a reliable enough barometer.

 

[ketostix]

Jeffst, I agree with a lot of things you post but I have to give a counterpoint to this one.

Even if there WAS no such thing as a "quality woman," would it change things that much? Shouldn't you STILL walk away from girls that treat you badly? It really isn't much of an issue.

It makes all the difference in the world if there are few "quality" women. First because you are going to be walking away from one low quality woman to another. And the other big reason is every time someone says a woman does this and that, the response invariably is not a realistic one such as, "That's typical western female behavior", but instead, "You got a low quality woman dumbazz. Get a high quality one" And they insinuate that they grow on trees and never come in a shiny package while being rotten at the core.

The problem with fixating on the bad is that it will undermine your future LTRs. If you don't want a LTR, that's fine, but there needs to be a degree of trust for a relationship to last. An adversarial relationship doesn't last.

I'm pretty much in agreement with Str8up that despite the pretty facade at it's core romantic relationships are adversarial. I would agree though that for a LTR you might have to put the blinders on and at least play along that you trust a woman, but the odds are she'll betray your trust. The truth is if you really think about it objectively all interaction with the modern woman is all a big facade, sorry to say.

Girls have a dark side inherent to them. So do we. It doesn't make either gender unequivocally bad--humans are neither good or bad.

Women have shown me over and again that they have no native sense of fair play, what's justice and objective right and wrong.

The minute you start on a path that says that girls can not suppress this selfish nature is when you tacitly give them a free pass. We don't want to do that here; we want to uphold women to the same standards and make them accountable for their actions.

Most girls that you date will amount to nothing. But, even if you date 100 girls and 99 of them could be considered, "low quality," you can feel good about doing your job to filter them out. It's just part of the process, and hopefully you had some fun along the way.

I don't think you should ever go into a relationship with blind trust, but it's better to operate under an "innocent until proven guilty" mindset. That way, you don't screw things up by preemptively acting like a d!ck. If you don't give a girl enough warm and fuzzy, loving feelings, you're going to lose her.

Well here I agree with you and it really seems you are saying the same thing as the others and I are saying except I wouldn't put it innocent till proven guilty. I would characterize it as vieled skepticism or trust but verify.

Most of the time, red flags are freakin obvious. Going out of your way to find them is really REACTIVE behavior, because it reflects your insecurity with the situation. Use the energy you expend looking for red flags and redirect it on improving yourself--that's being PROACTIVE. The amount of good feelings you have as a couple should be a reliable enough barometer.

I guess my view is there's no need to look for red flags when I see what I consider red flags on virtually every girl at a precusory glance. That's not to say I don't see some that have none, they're just rare and tend to be in serious relationships already. The long and short of it seems to be, a woman is only as quality as she's attracted to you. Attraction is fickle, so quality is fickle too. I just don't understand why the modern notion that women cannot and should not not be held to any object unwavering standard is so universally accepted. Men are held to every standard that can be imagined and a lot of them are contradictory.

 

[STR8UP]

I was going to write up a post about how "someone always marries the wh0re".

Having recently been in contact with a couple of women who were, at least by my standards "low quality" women, I realized something.

One of these women is married, and the other one is in a serious relationship. I realized that these women that I would never consider a relationship with still have options. Someone is still willing to commit to an exclusive relationship with them.

So one of two things is happening here. Either a) these guys know these women well and accept their past "indiscretions", or b) these guys know these women well and choose to ignore their past "indiscretions, or c) these guys think they know their women but in reality have no clue.

So if even the bottom feeders get snagged up, what happens to that crown jewel? Of course, some dude puts a rock on her finger, taking her off the market.

A shining example of the female species can make MANY men fall head over heels for them. They have their pick of any number of high grade men at any given time.

What does this mean? This means that even if you DO find one who you are relatively sure would make a decent partner, chances are she's taken. You luck out and find one who is single? It's still a roll of the dice since these chicks are so rare, there's a good possibility that you might have a Trojan Horse on your hands. She SEEMS like a gift from the gods, but you later find out that she is rotten at the core.

This analogy by Luther Rex sums it up-

If you were walking through a desert, thirsty as all h3ll and you meet up with another man in the desert, and that man says "You just need to find some water!"

Saying "you just need to find some water" to a man dying of dehydration in the desert is about as helpful as telling a modern man "you just need to find a quality woman!" It's technically correct, but functionally inept.

Oh yea, and just so nobody forgets, the link that is the subject of this post is not negative or pessimistic in any way. It paints a grim picture for sure, but I don't think too many guys on here would argue the points as being invalid.

 

[Jeffst1980]

Fair enough. We can have different ideas on the quality woman issue.

The question that is of use to us here is: What can we do about this lack of a standard of accountability for women?

See, even if we consistently come across women with no sense of fair play, couldn't it be because they can get away with it? A woman who cheats on her husband may be shamed by society, but if she's hot, she'll have no shortage of high status men willing to do anything for her. Furthermore, she can just as easily blame her husband for "driving her to it."

This is just the way things are in society at this moment, and I doubt that there's much we can do to change the conventional wisdom, although there are signs that the tide is beginning to change. We can only do what works for us, even if it goes against social norms.

For me, that means refusing to acknowledge the double standards on which society allows women to capitalize and running relationships by my own rules. I'm well aware of all the s#itty things that many women do, but I don't fixate on that which doesn't affect me. At this point in my life, I've learned to be extremely picky and perhaps a bit demanding by modern standards and have found that many women are perfectly willing to entertain the idea of giving up their "modern woman" lifestyle if they deem you worth it. Of course, this starts with the self confidence that you are, indeed, worth it. In this way, I do acknowledge that you help "create" a quality women by having high expectations.

However, a lot of women I've dated have NOT been willing to entertain more traditional gender roles, and though I blame myself a bit (I have really only been completely congruent on the high expectations thing with my current gf), I can't help but notice that ALL of my failed relationships were with very outspoken girls that often complained about inequality between the genders. My current gf is a lot more traditional, and while not shy, definitely a lot more proper, and I've yet to have any issues with her. For this reason, I really believe you can predict a lot about a woman even before you've been with her awhile. Two of my ex's are now engaged to AFC guys, so I think that that's the kind of guy so-called "modern women" belong with. A DJ wouldn't put up with that nonsense.

In short, I think the best course of action is to set your standards so high that you do not have reason to worry about whether your gf is going to cheat on you, because it would simply never get that far. The biggest mistake is to look to society and even other guys for examples of what to do in relationships, because they are all too forgiving.

 

[countermart]

You can't insure away the risk

You know there have been some great views expressed here. However, having gone from “I love you, I would die for you,” all the way to the divorce courts, I wonder if there is no real answer to the "quality" girl view.

Obviously for a LTR we all want a “quality” girl and I guess it looks agreed that these are short on the ground and often already taken. However, I do not agree that people’s actions are set in stone forever. There is potential for the “quality girl” to become less than prime, and the “poor quality girl” to become prime.

People may have general character traits that they follow, however environmental influences can and do influence their behaviour. It is common for people to be put in various circumstances and facing these to change their common nature or "prior normal" actions. The environmental influence just needs to be great enough.

Thus it is incorrect to brand a girl as “quality now” therefore quality always, or “poor quality now” poor quality always. People change and those changes through time cannot be determined, because you cannot determine the environmental influences that will play out over time and how people will react to these influences.

Thus a LTR is simply a calculated risk. Trying to determine what she is “now” is simply trying to adjust the risk factors or probability of a successful LTR outcome. This is why I think the common SS view that you should not place your need for happiness in the hands of another individual is so important. Especially, not a women (ha ha, no this is not a sugestion to turn gay), given that she is primarily emotionally based. She makes decisions based on emotion and justifies her actions later. That common female characteristic makes her an inherently risky proposition on which to base your life. She is essentially the beautiful racehorse.

“Life is a celebration of things that do not last”. I have a sneaking suspicion that the short lived nature of many relationships actually promotes evolutionary survival, something that is perhaps suggested in the article at the top of this thread.

What to do then? Despite their less than infallible natures few of us would choose a life without women. In the end you take your chances, just don’t place all of your emotion or money on the back of anyone racehorse or woman...or if you do, be prepared to take the fall.

Risk great love and you risk great pain...there is no escape.

Countermart

PS: Interceptor – the Dept. Premier of the State where I lived once said to me, “Countermart never let the b*stards get you down”. I find your stuff very valuable keep it up.

 

[jophil28]

And I disagree that others' behavior and actions are all dependent in how you filter them, and also women own their own behavior. It's not a man's fault.

Yes, indeed . Filters or not, perception is not reality. THose guys who stole your car really did steal it, and your pension fund really has tanked lately. Not to forget that h0 of a real g/f of yours who fuked your real brother when they were both really drunk on real whiskey , really cheated on you.

OR was I just filtering reality ?

 

[slaog]

You are correct about the dark nature of girls that is inherent in ALL girls.

What you fail to realize though is that there are *good* girls - relative to others.

The reason why those girls are *good* is not because they are inherently good but because they have had male morality imposed on them either through their family or church.

I believe it's the other way around and we're all born good. Are there any evil chrildren out there? Chrildren are good but the world teaches them to be bad. People are being bombared with trash behaviour from everywhere. It's all over the TV etc. This is whats influencing people.

 

[ketostix]

You know there have been some great views expressed here. However, having gone from “I love you, I would die for you,” all the way to the divorce courts, I wonder if there is no real answer to the "quality" girl view.

Obviously for a LTR we all want a “quality” girl and I guess it looks agreed that these are short on the ground and often already taken. However, I do not agree that people’s actions are set in stone forever. There is potential for the “quality girl” to become less than prime, and the “poor quality girl” to become prime.

People may have general character traits that they follow, however environmental influences can and do influence their behaviour. It is common for people to be put in various circumstances and facing these to change their common nature or "prior normal" actions. The environmental influence just needs to be great enough.

Thus it is incorrect to brand a girl as “quality now” therefore quality always, or “poor quality now” poor quality always. People change and those changes through time cannot be determined, because you cannot determine the environmental influences that will play out over time and how people will react to these influences.

Yes absolutely. However there is an answer to the low quality woman, it's called societal standards for women. That's not something an individual man has control over though. When I say quality is on a continuum, I always say that women move up and down the continuum depending on the circumstances and are not stationary, but there is a limit to how far and for how long a woman strays from her predominant behavior. You allude to that a man can somewhat mold his girl's behavior. What I was saying he can do this as lonmgs as she attracted to him but attraction is fickle. What I'm seeing is that women are becoming increasingly "corrupt" and women of low quality are becoming so entrenched that men can't mold women much anymore like they use to could.

Thus a LTR is simply a calculated risk. Trying to determine what she is “now” is simply trying to adjust the risk factors or probability of a successful LTR outcome. This is why I think the common SS view that you should not place your need for happiness in the hands of another individual is so important. Especially, not a women (ha ha, no this is not a sugestion to turn gay), given that she is primarily emotionally based. She makes decisions based on emotion and justifies her actions later. That common female characteristic makes her an inherently risky proposition on which to base your life. She is essentially the beautiful racehorse.

“Life is a celebration of things that do not last”. I have a sneaking suspicion that the short lived nature of many relationships actually promotes evolutionary survival, something that is perhaps suggested in the article at the top of this thread.

What to do then? Despite their less than infallible natures few of us would choose a life without women. In the end you take your chances, just don’t place all of your emotion or money on the back of anyone racehorse or woman...or if you do, be prepared to take the fall.

Risk great love and you risk great pain...there is no escape.

Well I'd agree that a LTR with a woman is a calculated risk and nothing good last forever. The problem is marriages and LTR especially with kids don't just end. It's like woman have all the social conventions and policies to take the man's money, take his kids, and essentially punish and ruin him when it ends. If a woman wants to end it simply because she's fickle then she should leave with basically nothing.

Yes, indeed . Filters or not, perception is not reality. THose guys who stole your car really did steal it, and your pension fund really has tanked lately. Not to forget that h0 of a real g/f of yours who fuked your real brother when they were both really drunk on real whiskey , really cheated on you.
OR was I just filtering reality ?

Spot on.

I believe it's the other way around and we're all born good. Are there any evil chrildren out there? Chrildren are good but the world teaches them to be bad. People are being bombared with trash behaviour from everywhere. It's all over the TV etc. This is whats influencing people.

Yes I have seen "evil" children. I believe people are born with a mix of good and bad. Some are intrinsically worse than others. I believe the world does teach people to be bad, but that's a case of cultivating and encouraging one side that is already part of human nature. all you have to do is fail to encourage good and most people will default to bad on their own.