General Dj view on this ...

[So pimp its scary]

Situation :
I met a woman in a class. Got her number. Called for a date, she said 'just as friends' and no date occured. We kept talking in class, but no phone calls. Now, she is insinuating that we go out.

Some would say (ie anti-dump) : "This girl clearly doesn't have enough interest, and should be nexted because she didn't have enough initial interest. Interest level cannot be raised. Find someone else who will want you that much more."

Others would say : "Good job, you've been increasing her interest level, now it's time to go in for the kill. Just keep your game face on and do your stuff. and see what happens."

Still others would say : "She's lost her chance as an LTR possibility, because of lack of interest... but go for the FWB."

There are soo many variations, but discuss.

 

[BRYCEicl]

She is flakey but I say go for it full throtle baby!

 

[Porky]

tell her you really, really care about her and don't want to do anything to jeapordize the friendship. Then ask her out for McDonald's.

 

[princelydeeds]

I say dating her will screw it up. I would try to see her outside of class for studying or in some less formal setting. The transition to a formal date will probably screw up the chemistry. This girl is ripe. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, invite her over to a get together or something fun, let her hang out with you and see that you are "the man." I think playing the buddy role will get you there faster than getting all serious with her.

 

[silverwex]

Initally, she seemed flaky. Maybe she still is BUT you stopped phoning and thats called a challenge. Well done.

Now that ure a challenge ur in control as shes insinuating that the two of you date. Use your DJ skills to keep her IL up and see how things go but if she flakes on the next date - NEEEEXXXXTTTT!

Also, keep up that challenge!

 

[Chewy Bagel]

I thought that if a girl really likes you, then she makes it very clear...hmmm

I've found that if a girl is giving me mixed signals, then I can rest assured that I'm not getting any and I'll get rejected when I try.

 

[Starman]

That is BOGUS that IL cant be raised.

I think what Anti-Dump was trying to say, was that is it WORTH your time and effort trying to raise IL, while depriving yourself of the other 100's of women who are READY to date you.

You'de be surprised what the frequency of contact can do with IL. She will either dislike you more or like you even more.

My sister is a bartender. She used to have this guy coming to her bar 3-4 times a week, just sitting at the bar, having a beer, and talking to her.

She used to tell me about him and how she has no physical attraction to him, and how he just comes to the bar all the time and just sits and talk and keeps asking her out. FAST FORWARD 1.5 years later.

Now they are living together, and she says she loves him and she is the happiest she has ever been with any other guy.

If you have constant contact with this girl, you are in for a big opportunity

I say

""Good job, you've been increasing her interest level, now it's time to go in for the kill. Just keep your game face on and do your stuff. and see what happens.""

 

[THA REALNESS]

Me personally i'd next her ,just cuz of the fact she playing games not because she rejected me .

If i were you i'd fall back from all that for a while then proceed from a non-freind perspective.


How long did you wait to call her,btw?

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

She doesn't want you. She made it clear from the beginning that all she wants is to be friends. If you take her out and spend any money on her you'll be sorry.

 

[MR_PERFECT]

It's possible her feelings have changed, but highly unlikely. Sometimes, when a girl is dumped, can't get the guy she wants, or there is a lack of attention from the boyfriend, she will seem interested in whomever is available. The more attention you show, the more she'll flirt. That is until you're alone, able to make your move when she'll stop you dead in your tracks.

 

[Starman]

who said he is gonna take her out and spend money on her??

that is a cardinal rule on this site that should NEVER be broken

if anything take her out, pay your own way, you might find you like each other, if not SOCIAL PROOF BAYYBE!

PLUS you get a chance to test some of your DJ skills and improve

you really have NOTHING to lose here

 

[princelydeeds]

I agree with Starman, don't next her see how its plays out. This is advanced DJ'ing. Don't fall in love with the chick or become all emotional. Stay in the game see where it goes. She might like you. Her BF situation may have changed or maybe she was going through somethign at the time. Ive boned many chicks that showed little to no interest in me in the beginning. Things change women always have drama, so beware maybe then wasn't a good time, maybe now is the best time. If you you have the girl feeling you why get rid of her? Why waste all teh work you put in? Keep being a DJ, get on her and 10 otehr chicks.

 

[So pimp its scary]

I really liked the variety of your answers here... I was gonna wait untill I saw her again to continue this post, but that won't be happening for a couple weeks... (no classes till then). I already had my plan of action before asking, I was more asking out of an intellectual curiosity rather then a need for advice, but a few answers have stuck out in my mind.

She is flakey but I say go for it full throtle baby!

I don't understand what makes her flakey? She didn't NOT show up for a date, when we talked on the phone she said, 'we'll go just as friends.' and it turned out that we couldn't find a time in common to go out. If that makes someone flakey, then I need to change my definition.

I say dating her will screw it up. ... The transition to a formal date will probably screw up the chemistry. ... Don't put too much pressure on yourself, invite her over to a get together or something fun, let her hang out with you and see that you are "the man." I think playing the buddy role will get you there faster than getting all serious with her.

This is funny because she actually suggested that we do one of the major projects as a group... I've really been forcing her to make the moves so far (ie forcing her to give signs then I pounce on them). Which was a big part of my gameplan with this girl, just hang out with her but not hit on her, then whenever I see the signs just pounce on them.

Then, what starman first said... I wasn't around in the Anti-Dump days, I have only read Pooks rebirth of his posts. I like the sounds of what he has to say, if a girl doesn't show high interest right away then find someone who does and then you'll be much happier.

She doesn't want you. She made it clear from the beginning that all she wants is to be friends. If you take her out and spend any money on her you'll be sorry

1 - This is a possibility, and at this point it is worth mentioning that I am dating 2 women on a pretty consisten basis right now... and am going to start working on more prospects as soon as my schedule slows down.
2 - Who said I was gonna be spending money on her? I always start by paying my way, and if she makes a fuss then I say ok, but you get it next time. As far as gifts go, I try to keep everything about equal... women want equal rights, they can have equal burdens as well.

It's possible her feelings have changed, but highly unlikely. Sometimes, when a girl is dumped, can't get the guy she wants, or there is a lack of attention from the boyfriend, she will seem interested in whomever is available. The more attention you show, the more she'll flirt. That is until you're alone, able to make your move when she'll stop you dead in your tracks.

I haven't changed the attention I give her at all... we talk a lil bit in class, but for the most part I'm not even giving her attention... I'm too busy taking notes, or listening to the prof to be flirting (at least with her in that class )

And starman once again...

you really have NOTHING to lose ...

OHH SO true... **stands up placing hand on chest in pride** this is almost like the national slogan of MyCountry.

(I tried to shorten some of the quotes for the sake of brevety)