Gender Struggle Escalation

[Scaramouche]

Dear Backbreaker,
Your Posts on here are really quite remarkable...The depth the perceptions are,or should be inspirational.....You are so lucky you have avoided the traditional education trap....I have always said the most truly educated and wise Men I ever worked with,were Miners,living out in the Desert at a Place called Peko Mine near Tennant Creek in Central Australia...The dumbest,the most ignorent and opiniated were College Lecturers....The higher their education,the more invincible they were in their ignorence,and the lousier teachers they were...The question I ask is,where is all this taking you?

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear All,
By following the Don Juan life style,you step around all these issues..."But leave the wise to wrangle,they will just go out the same door they came in" ....When a relationship becomes destructive,there are another three or four waiting in the wings,you just move on,growing all the time...try to possess someone and you just create a cage complete with ball and chain for yourself.

 

[Die Hard]

I'm gonna keep this personal, Squirrels. You may be talking about men and women in general, the direction of this forum as a whole etc. but your post is really about YOU.

I get your frustration and often feel "we're in this together" when I read your posts. Yet, I feel the direction you're heading in as a response to that frustration, is very wrong...


Imagine a guy who is afraid to get hurt... He spends years to put up an impenetrable wall around him, which will keep him safe from harm. Once the wall is finished, he thinks he's there: No more vulnerability, no more 'getting hurt' All is well now! Live happily ever after!

But apart from keeping harmful emotions away, the wall also keeps positive emotions away... The wall keeps him safe from getting hurt, but it also prevents him from experiencing pleasure.

Frustrated, he laments: "I spent all these years building this fukking wall, but now it turns out the wall is no good after all! My life is colorless, I feel empty inside, all passion is gone!"

So, in his frustration, he decides to smash the whole thing to pieces... And all the harmful things immediately grabbed the opportunity to fukk him up beyond all recognition. How sad...

I get the feeling this is YOU, Squirrels.

Building up an impenetrable wall isn't the solution. Smashing the thing down to pieces isn't the solution either. The solution is building a wall which you can lower down and pull up whenever you see fit.

At the moment, it seems you are able to do only one of two things:

1. Keep your emotions shut down entirely.
2. Open up the gates and let your emotions flow through it like an uncontrollable tsunami wave.

Get a grip on yourself, you moron. Coz you've been focussing on option 2 for a while now and it is gonna get you FUKKED UP BEYOND ALL RECOGNITION. Seeing as you didn't reply to my last PM, I fear this might already be the case...

Anyway, you should learn to control that wall, become able to let it down or pull it up without much effort. The wall is already there since your youth (ah yes, here we go again, everything originates in one's youth!), so you need to learn to lower it. Just a little bit at first, then a bit further, and so on. Until you can lower it and pull it up with ease.

Doing the reverse won't work. Imagine an army that's trying to conquer the land around it. It needs a base to operate from. Small missions leave the base everyday and charter the surrounded area, then return to base. Bit by bit, the army conquers the surrounded area. What would happen if they smashed their base to pieces? Things would be over for them pretty soon! And they will be for you as well, if you keep walking this path that you've been on for a quite a while now, my friend...

Learning to control your wall, to lower it step by step and still be able to pull it up when neccesary, is a very long and hard process, which requires a HUGE amount of energy. It's the 'trenchwar' I was speaking of in my PM... You seem to think you can somehow cheat on this process and just break down your wall to the ground, as if things will all be okay then. You're wrong and you WILL be sorry.

This bytch you've been with for a while now, with all her red flags... Man, she is gonna FUKK you up! (possibly already did...) All because you could only see two options: either having an impenatrable wall or having no wall at all, failing to see that there's something in between those two options. The sad thing is, you don't WANNA see the other option. Coz once you realize it's there, you will realize that it's the only right thing to do. Which scares you to death...coz you'll have to get into a long, exhausting trenchwar and you're just not up for that. You'd rather delude yourself and choose the easy way out. Is that what a a real MAN does??

 

[evelsteve]

Who the hell said anything about "woman bashing?" If there's any bashing going on here, it's the bashing of the AFC! Every woman I know wants a strong confident man, to be her companion, or even just to bang once in a while (as if that's only a "male" agenda, women want to bang, just as much). So bashing and eventually destroying the AFC actually benefits BOTH the sexes. Please, why is this even a point?

 

[wait_out]

There is a trick here though -- do girls want healthy, well-adjusted guys (not "AFC" which we can all become) or do they want the top 10-40% of guys on the bell curve (which can never be attained by definition, even if you bring the floor up).

If guys aren't healthy and adjusted, they need a correction. If girls are all shooting for the top 1/3 of the curve, we have a societal problem because the vast majority of people will never fulfill those expectations. It makes sense though for a media-driven culture where we learned "what we deserve" from advertisers and film. I wouldn't be surprised if all the dropout gamer phenomenon is a response akin to learned helplessness. I don't want to be the guy knocking youth but the more time I spend abroad the more our culture looks disoriented and completely batsh!t insane. Kind of like the entire concept of a gender war in the first place

 

[iqqi]

sounds like a bunch of iqqi posts, lol! I love it. I've been telling yall that women are not the enemy for years!

Great post.

However I also think Diehard's post needs to be considered.

 

[scrouds]

sounds like a bunch of iqqi posts, lol! I love it.

Yeah it does. Cue truck crashing sound effect.

 

[Tazman]

Wow, some of these posts make it seem as though men have no right to complain about anything

You are projecting yourself on the entire forum. It's one thing, to complain about how you thought a date went well and she hasn't called back, or a chick you were into flaked out on you. But you have post after post now, just lamenting women for being women, for doing the things that women do, instead of asking why they are doing them, people are taking the other fork in the road and just becoming bitter.

I fail to see how my comment is a projection onto the forum. Where are these mysterious posts of mine that lament women for being women? In fact, I have many posts discussing precisely "why" women behave the way they do. It sounds like you have me mixed up with someone else.

I don't see the point in proclaiming (implying) how much better you are then "most guys" here because you don't complain, as if you're above it all.

No one said anyone was better than anyone, again that's you projecting yourself onto the forum again. You have issues with that. You obviously think some people think they are better than you.

I have had a reasonable amount of success with women, so I try to give advice and show what works and what doesn't. As do others. Me telling a guy that this isn't the right way, this is, doesn't mean I am better or worse, I just get it. While I do admit to being a tad bit arrogant, okay more than a tad lol, it's not because I think I am inherently better than anyone, it's because i get up and work at being the best person I can be. I don't go out thinking i'm better than anyone, I go out thinking I'm the best me I can be right now.

It was a general statement of the tone I see and I threw in the word "imply" to clarify that it wasn't necessarily said in so many words. I said no one is above "complaining" because we all do it to varying degrees. Unless of course you never complain about anything, then this wouldn't apply to you right?

However, there is one common theme that brought us all here, and I don't see the difference in anyone wanting to bang 5 or 5000 women.

There are lots of differences. I know hat you said was tongue in cheek but you could have used a better analogy.

It actually wasn't an analogy. The common theme here is "p-ssy" and I make no distinction between a guy who wants a few women and a guy that wants thousands. Obviously, if we're going to get into specific strategies concerning literal numbers there is a difference, but it's beside the major point.

If you were already so level headed you wouldn't come here seeking advice/information in the first place.

That's like, no it is, the addict who has 3 months clean going off in an AA meeting telling all the "old timers" obviously what they were doing doesn't work because if it did they wouldn't be here. That happens about once a month at meetings.


I'm going to stop.

Tazman, i like you dude, we are a brotherhood here, but dude you have issues that you need to work out and it has nothing to do with women. your anger / resentment issues are toxic. If you don't necessarily agree with the post, don't respond. Do you know how many **** ass threads I see on a daily basis I don't bother posting in? The fact that you felt that you had to come in and **** on the OP's parade says alot.

Well....all I can say is that you completely misunderstand my posts. The last comment you quoted has been taken out of context. Your AA analogy that follows doesn't apply to my argument at all.

My whole point involves guys who don't like seeing posts that criticize women or links to articles of some of their antics and attempt to "shame" others who do on this board. There is definitely a time and place to tell a guy to man up and stop b-tching but more often than not, especially in todays social climate, men need all the support they can get. Complacency can get a guy in serious trouble.

I'm not angry at all and it's perfectly fine to disagree with what I'm saying, in fact, I invite it.

 

[omkara]

Tazman, i like you dude, we are a brotherhood here, but dude you have issues that you need to work out and it has nothing to do with women. your anger / resentment issues are toxic. If you don't necessarily agree with the post, don't respond. Do you know how many **** ass threads I see on a daily basis I don't bother posting in? The fact that you felt that you had to come in and **** on the OP's parade says alot.

Actually you got it completely wrong. This thread was civil until Zarky came in with his usual inflammatory crap. Tazman was right to call him out on it.

 

[omkara]

I certainly don't sit around b1tching about women like most guys here do, and I don't ally myself with the whole "Iron John" crowd whom I consider to be a bunch of wimpy whining betas.
.

Then leave. No decent self-respecting man would voluntarily spend time associating with people who he doesn't even respect.

 

[Die Hard]

I don't read the general forum a lot. To me, the Mature Men forum is SoSuave. The general forum is inconsistent and incoherent. It can't be regarded as a community, there isn't a consistent core of members there, nor is there a general consensus about anything. The following is a great illustration of the general forum:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1PiiugqtjI

So whenever people make general statements about SoSuave or it's community, it's kinda useless in my eyes. Suppose there happens to be a great amount of people registering in a few days... Surely, most of them will be writing posts displaying frustration and complaining for the nearby future. And so, it seems "the forum" has become a bunch of whining people, while in reality, the site just had a big infusion of newcomers.

In other words, whenever anyone speaks about trends on this forum, he should only do so based on the Mature Men forum. It's the only place that's eligible for such observations.

I wonder what you guys are exactly discussing here, Tazman and Backbreaker...

 

[Boilermaker]

I think ROllo has already replied to this once. I feel strange when I hear from squirrels things like is there no room for peace.
What peace who says there's equality?

The fact that iqqi loves it is another sign that all this is subtle feminist crap or third-rate philosophy at best.

Don't feel sorry for men they've been doing just fine for a long long time.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Boilermaker,
"The fact that iqqi loves it is another sign that all this is subtle feminist crap or third-rate philosophy at best."....Well of course,she is a blatant agent provacateur,should get home and do her Old Mans washing....Still, must be said seems she has more Bvalls than some of our Brothers.

 

[Boilermaker]

Dear Scara,

You are right, it must take a lot of balls to enter in a room full of wise guys such as ourselves and still sell snails ...

Yet, she does just that. Wonders of the internet. Maybe she's a homosexual in denial hehe

 

[Die Hard]

Probably more the contrary: a lesbian

She's been a HARDCORE member of a site which teaches how to deal with women, she has been for EIGHT years. That's longer than most of us....she was already here in the days of Pook, participated in discussions with him.

I don't know what her deal is but she's quite the anomaly. To realize this, just imagine a guy being a hardcore member on a site that teaches women how to deal with men... Sure, it's kinda interesting to see and debate things from the other side, or even hand out advice to the opposite sex about how to deal with your sex. But she's taken it way further than that, her interest level in our matters is far beyond normal. Could be some sort of daddy complex: If I can guide and advice men in their love life, even better than most of their fellow men can, I will truly deserve respect from men. (earning respect from men in general being a projection of her desire to earn respect from daddy).

Or she's a lesbian, which means she desires women just as we do and therefor wants to learn how to game them just as we do.

Anyway, who cares. I always take her opinions and advices with a grain of salt, she is a WOMAN after all. But honestly, she does make sense quite often for a woman and each post should be judged on it's own merits, no matter who the writer is.

 

[DanelMadr]

I absolutely agree, squirrels.

The men's movement makes exactly the same mistakes as feminists one.

You declare an enemy and then blame him for everything bad which happened to you. It is ego's way to avoiding responsibility, faults.

And it is necessary to de-humanize your enemy, so you don't feel bad when you hurt him/her.

It is funny/sad how men/women demand love/respect/job or whatever just because they have penis/vagina and they use political force to create favorable circumstances to achieve it.

Liberation of women created chaos/divorces/promiscuity etc. but at least when a woman loves you now, you can be sure it is real, not bc she is afraid of dying from hunger.

 

[DanelMadr]

Also I strongly believe that being AFC is a mask our ego puts on to buy love.
And the Player mask is ego invention to win love.

Get rid of ego and one finally receives love.

 

[DanelMadr]

Squirrels have you ever heard of the Tragedy of the Commons or the Prisoner's Dilemma. Or the parable about the Frog and the Scorpion. We live in western society where winning big is idolized. You do so by fcking over the next guy (or girl). Coincidentally you could both win, a little, if you cooperate. Unfortunately in our world where nobody want to live more humbly, you both stick a knife into each others backs and in the end you both lose. We are reaping the consequences in every sphere of life from the political to the economic to the personal. In dating, this is publicized enough to make people very wary. It is overexposed big time in the MM forum since it's essentially of community of guys who once got burned in love. Probably, you realized it started to get to you. However, you are not going to change western society just because you want to live in a world where people act differently. SS is a symptom of this attitude and not a foundation.

I'm with you mate in that you got to keep balance in your life -- personally this place seems positively cheerful and well-rounded next to the dysfunctional tragedies borne out bureaucracies I've seen but the principle is the same. You can't stay in bad situations forever because it essentially will cost you your life.

"Follow your bliss" -- Joesph Campbell

I knew it. Socialists have a 'death wish'.

Don't you see the irony? Rejected guy with big ego sees women as evil. Rejected intellectual with big ego sees people as evil. Both blaming the western society.:nono:

 

[scrouds]

In war, there is no room for middle ground. No room for humility. Its time to fight now, we'll worry about our humility and our flaws later after the war is won.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

It is easy when you meet a woman to see all of the gentle sides in relationships -- it is much harder after you've deeply loved and deeply lost not to get cynical sometimes about the real pains people can breed in one another.

I agree that mind-games and mind-control is never the way to genuine things. And I agree that war between the sexes is not the answer. But I do know that a man ought to have boundaries and expectations as to how he should be treated -- and far too often we sacrifice ourselves or our boundaries for sex or the company of a woman.

Go forth man and grow -- the world exists far beyond the internet lines and flickering screens in front of us. Life itself and experience teaches far better than anything else.

To growth & happiness squirrels.