Geeky HB "study buddy" coming to my pad, suggestions?

[supCALI]

So the girl from my previous topic is coming over to my house for a "study" sesh. To refresh, we've talked and I make her laugh in class, she's a gamer and told me she wanted a "study buddy" and asked for my number on the same night of class I planned to ask for hers. She said she was busy for the first time I scheduled a hangout, but I ended up cutting her off a bit and it worked, when I saw her again last class she told me to hit her up for this weekend to study so I did. I asked her if she'd rather Starbucks or my house and she picked my house. Now she's going to be over here tomorrow around four.

What are some good ways to escalate physically once she's here? I have been giving her some light kino so far and hugged her goodbye at the end of our last class but I haven't really been super touchy-feely.

And since I have her coming over in the late afternoon would it be a good idea to see if she'd like to go to dinner an hour or two after she gets here? She mentioned she liked seafood before and I know a really good sushi place to take her to.

 

[flashpoint]

on a scale 0-10, how would you rate her attraction to you?

 

[supCALI]

I'd say about 7 to an 8, she smiles a lot and laughs at jokes I crack in class. She number close'd me. I almost forgot, last time I saw her she invited to a party she's throwing two months from now. She picks up when I call and responds to every text pretty quickly. Her last text was "Cool ill see you then ".

 

[flashpoint]

great start. now since you are already that high, what would you think was one small step for her to feel even more attraction towards you? if you had to guess. e.g. what would she perceive to be different? that might be an odd and difficult question, but maybe an answer can be interesting for the success of the whole project.

and maybe another one, considering a 10 would be her having sex with you for sure, this day or another one, and 0 is like it is completely out of the question, what would you say right now, where your odds are? important question: no matter what number, how did you get there? can you do more of it? and again, what could a small step up that scale look like? how would that be different to where you are right now? and try to answer from her perspective too.

note:
just checking if the solution focus is of any help here, if you find these questions stupid, feel free to ignore.

 

[supCALI]

I don't find your questions stupid and I appreciate all assistance so thank you. Well as for what she'd perceive to be different... well I've been wearing a van dyke (stache and goatee) for about a month and she has only seen me with it on. Would it be a good idea to go clean-shaven before I see her? I think she's the type who likes change because she changed up her hair in length and color in the second or third week.

My odds would probably be about a 5 to a 7. I think I got there by not worrying as much about how I appeared and being calm when talking with her. I have flirted with her but I probably need to do more. One example was in class, the answers to a set of problems were A, B, B, and B and I read them out loud getting gradually faster. until it sounded like "A B B B. A BBB. Ay bbb. Ay bay bay" and made her laugh. Another example was this text exchange I posted in the last thread.

HB: Hey you at school?
Me: Not atm, what's up HB? Studying for a calc exam tmrw and I just got the book yesterday haha
HB: Oh damn good luck! For our class the stuff on the quizzes at the beginning, are bold in the workbook right?
Me: Ty! Good question, I still don't have the workbook so I don't know but I think those terms were from the lecture powerpoint slides.
HB: I may have to copy your quiz lol
Me: Lol, if you show me yours I'll show you mine
HB: Haha dirty. I may not have the right answers but I'm reading the chapters so we shall see
Me: Good girl! I can focus on studying for my math test and you can do all the reading for our class for me. Perfect!
HB: Lmao OK but get the workbook!

I should add I looked her up on fb and found she's been in a relationship for 4 years, she's been together with him since 08 when she was 16. I'd imagine she's looking to branch swing; she's never mentioned him before (although that alone means doesn't mean she's tired of him) even when talking about her vacation to hawaii for example. I'm not too worried about it, but it does give her the potential to pull that card now that I know that. From her perspective, I'd venture a guess that the higher up on that scale I am, the more open she would be to any physical escalation I initiate.

What are some suggestions to come across more flirtatious and escalate the light kino? What IOIs should I be picking up on tomorrow?

 

[flashpoint]

interesting. so you are saying it is like 7-8 attraction on her side and a 5-7 likelyhood to have sex with her, whether it is like tomorrow or any other time. right? how does that make you feel? and that somehow you got there by not worrying so much? but do your thing? maybe that could be an answer for other questions too?

not going to suggest much besides doing what works already, and doing just a little more of that. dont try to fix anything that isnt broken, but build on things that you have seen working before, is the main idea here. So when you said the higher you are on that scale the more receptive she might seem to you to a physical escalation, maybe you do just that? tune it up just a notch with the attraction part and add some physical escalation?


as for your questions, what would you tell yourself? lets pretend just for a moment you were up at the "having sex" scale to a perfect 10, not only are you like a 100% sure it is going to happen, but it is basically inevitable there. with that in mind, how would you answer your questions yourself? you dont need to do it here in writing, maybe just try it in your head to put yourself in that place and then play it through. could be interesting to also look at what was the last step before that? and the steps before that one?

but of course (while being 100% honest with yourself and as unbiased as possible), finding an answer to what is different, when you are on both scales at a perfect 10, meaning she is totally into you and sex is just a matter of time and opportunity, could give you even more of an idea what it actually takes to get there.

and not only from your perspective, but also or more importantly from hers. how could/would she tell? what do you think how would she describe or tell how it has happened eventually? putting yourself in her shoes. or pants

 

[backseatjuan]

No, a restaurant is out of the question.  Why move a step back?

You should cook or ask her to cook.  Lobster, shrimp, or best of all fresh crabs that you bought from fishermen.  A home made souse, and a salad.  Then of course wine and as a back up option cognac.  Be sure to have crack and weed.

But study means study.  The two of you should learn something within an hour and hit the kitchen.  

Cook for her and seduce her.  If she wants to be just friends she'll let you know long before the kiss close.  Friends is fine.

 

[DonJuanabe]

Sit next to her while you two are studying, say on the floor with backs against your bed. After a few minutes turn toward her and sniff her hair (fake it really) and say wow your hair smells beautiful. Then lean in and smell it more, exclaiming that you can't help yourself. If she is into you the opportunity to kiss her should arise very quicky.

 

[VladPatton]

Use your place as an advantage as backseatjuan said. Do have some wine, beer, and use a break from studying as a portal to make it feel fun and to get to know her, escalate, etc. If you're gonna play some PS3/XBox, use kino/body bumping when she's 'kicking your a$$ in the game'. Let's face it, you're not gonna be into studying with a cute HB you wanna bone right next to you, but make it seem legit, take it slow, be cool and see where it takes you.

 

[supCALI]

Thanks for the suggestions guys, +rep to all very well and good and I tried to keep them in mind once she got here but I got a little away from it. Still it went well, we were sitting on my couch studying and and I made fun of her for mispronouncing study questions like the country Mongolia as Magnola. We got to playing vidya-gamez after she challenged me to smash bros., she actually kicked my ass a few times too. I teased her a lot but I did not use much kino, chalk it up to inexperience with its use on my part, I think I really have to improve in this area. She had her feet up on the couch and just looked super comfortable. I thought the kino/body bumping was a very good suggestion so I'm bit disappointed in myself I didn't apply it as I planned to; we were sitting close on the sofa but I probably should have scooted right next to her. Unfortunately only vodka on hand and I forgot to ask if she wanted me to mix her a drink but she still needed to drive home anyway; she stayed for 2 and a half hours and I gave her a hug goodbye at the door. I would have cooked but I am not very good so I had no really good dinner recipes in my head.

Comments and suggestions welcomed, I really would appreciate any tips on application of kino and breaking down of any mental barriers that dissuade me from touching. Also can anyone share some delicious recipes a novice chef can pull off? Thanks everyone.

 

[flashpoint]

a bit of an ouch here. should have taken the chance to kino. you dont like to touch her? maybe it is a good thing that you didnt take the first chance you got to make your move, but you need to do it eventually right? for anything physical you just do what you like to do. she will tell you when she doesnt like it.

btw. cooking is not difficult, so it is basically impossible to be not good at it. come to think of it, the same goes for sex haha. anyway if you are not much experienced here, keep it simple but special. like an omelett with a twist, or french toast. make some pasta, that is easy. it is all about the special ingredients, like a sip of red wine for the sauce e.g.


the better idea of course is have her cook something for you. hey you are helping her with her studies right? so let her return the favour. when she gets used to do things for you in return, that might be helpful later on. you know what i mean ...

and i'd suggest to not plan too much, go with the flow and keep your eyes open for opportunities, and when they present themselves .. TAKE EM. without much thinking. thinking no good, acting GOOD. follow your instincts and deal with consequences later. might sound reckless but all you will do is to show a girl that you like like her and that you are sexual. it is her choice then anyways to do something with it or not.

there is no way you can trick her into reacting positively though. so keeping her at ease, trying to not upset her with your physical advances but cooking her special meals instead wont get you anywhere. as romantic as that might sound, it is a bummer. do not try to impress her. at all.

read pook again. that might be helpful too.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

I started a post about this subject based on your post question... it got moved to Tips, but it's a good read. Here's part 1 of Harry's "How-To" Guide for Hooking Up with Your Study Buddy!

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=197885

 

[supCALI]

@flashpoint: Kino: I know, I dropped the ball on this one. Makes sense if she simply doesn't like it she'll say so; irrationally in the back of my mind I was thinking if I got too touchy-feely she would up and leave the setting so I didn't really touch her at all

About having her cook for me: That'd be cool, just be like "hey, can you do me a favor? I want you to cook me dinner" and if she says no or why be like "because you owe me for the A you'll be getting on the test after studying with me". Good idea. And I will look up good pasta recipes.

On not planning: Find a good opportunity, shoot first and ask questions later. I agree, and I know I can't "nice guy" it and have her react positively by keeping her at ease the whole time, never advancing, and catering to her with meals. That's not romantic, that's being a b*tch boy and that ain't me.

It's been a while since I just read straight through Pook, I'll re-read. Thanks man.

@Harry Wilmington: Thanks, I replied over there, glad I could inspire some creativity.

 

[VladPatton]

In all fairness, it's not easy when you are not out with a girl on a said 'date'. You just have to try and not sulk or get pissed/fazed if she shoots you down, but at least she will know you are into her. As a warning, some girls are THAT dumb when it comes to reading guys, just as we are at times. So if she has this clean preacher-girl mentality be mentally prepped for a shoot down. But ya gotta try.

 

[supCALI]

In all fairness, it's not easy when you are not out with a girl on a said 'date'. You just have to try and not sulk or get pissed/fazed if she shoots you down, but at least she will know you are into her. As a warning, some girls are THAT dumb when it comes to reading guys, just as we are at times. So if she has this clean preacher-girl mentality be mentally prepped for a shoot down. But ya gotta try.

Thanks for the warning. I think I misunderstand you though, can you elaborate on what you mean by "some girls are THAT dumb when it comes to reading guys," what is the example of dumbness?

 

[Single4Life]

If you don't at LEAST make out with her and establish that you two are now into a sexual relationship, you have failed.

 

[supCALI]

I wouldn't disagree with that.

She texted me to ask about our test tomorrow night and I told her she should join me before the test to cram so we can both kick ass on it. She replied she'd text me to let me know when she's at school tomorrow. Kind of having second thoughts on tell her she should join me, because our second meeting now may be another study session.

Re-read Pook's 15 lessons and his remarks on Kino. Good stuff. Reminded me when I feel like hesitating I need to yield to action and to focus on embodying my sexuality more.

 

[supCALI]

Back aagain

K, so I've just been polite and friendly with this girl and put her on the backburner for now.

Text exchange Wednesday:
Girl: Are you going to work on the study packet with your friend?
Me: No, but you're welcome to join me
Girl: Okay, want to do it on campus M/T?
Me: I don't know what my schedule's like yet, but I'll let you know

I saw her in class that evening and neither of us mentioned the exchange. Teased her in class a little, gave some c/f. She took my pencil out of my hand and I told her not to jack my ****, and she said something about "jacking off", I teased her "ewww, I didn't even mean it that way! Gross!" when I should have said "now we know exactly where your mind is". Walked and talker with her out of class, hugged and split ways to walk to our cars.

I wasn't going to actually ever "let her know" because I hate the school campus. Ugliest, dreadful, concrete, life-sucking buildings. I live close to the campus and she's been to my house before so I don't think her suggesting studying on campus is very cool.

But then 2 hours ago she texts me this:
Girl: When did you want to meet to study?

Should I tell her I'll be working on it at my house at a certain time tomorrow and if she wants to meet up to study she can do it there? I don't want to acquiesce to on-campus meet-up because I think it's less intimate than at home.

 

[Dante1a]

Just tell her that you can study at your place.

Get yourselves comfortable and laughing. Then when the energy is up in the interaction, escalate.

The way to escalate is basic kino throughout.

Then, slowly down your speech, drop your voice, add pauses in your sentences and look in her eyes while thinking "I want you" or "Your mine" - something like that.

When she starts responding (most girls do), it's up to you from there to actually make the move.

 

[supCALI]

Well, thanks for the advice. Applied a tip from sosuave here today about when setting up the meet by telling her to let me know when she was on her way. She texted me about 10 minutes after we were supposed to meet up to tell me she was coming, so that saved me time waiting around. We met up at a coffeehouse to study. Went well, got some studying done and I played it cool and bought her a coffee. Walked her to her car after class and she thanked me for the coffee, hugged me goodbye, and asked me if I wanted to study tomorrow, so I said sure and asked what time and she told me she'd text me to let me know. I probably shouldn't have just said sure, and suggested instead that we meet up at the same time tomorrow at my house, but I was caught by surprise that she decided to set up another sesh so quickly. I considered going for the kiss after I had walked her to her car but decided against it out of fear I would be moving too fast.

Does her suggesting a meetup the next day indicate high interest?

So say she comes over tomorrow what should I definitely do? I'm still not too good at cooking and I don't think eating here is an expectation because this is a "study session", but I agree it would be real cool to do. I just looked in the fridge and saw I have some frozen burgers I can throw on the pan, but that's probably about all I can make, a decent burger (does anyone have special recipes).

So study of course, but get the drinks going/start blazing and see where it goes, and when we're both comfortable and energy is up in our interaction, just go for a kiss? What's the best way to do that? Or should I be playing it a little slower and let attraction build up more by not being so eager?

@Harry Wilmington - By the way I read your second topic, great advice, eagerly awaiting the third installment.