Game vs Finances: Needed Some Opinions

[nicksaiz65]

You get used to it. I don’t know any EV owners that go back to buying gas cars.

I will say, it drives quite nicely. I’d be interested in getting one as my third car(once I have a bit more finances.)

 

[nicksaiz65]

Also, I think I neglected to mention: I suppose I would be approved for a car loan if I co-signed with my parents.

But one, eff that. I’m an adult, I don’t want to have to co-sign with my parents anymore. And two, Dave Ramsey would kill me lol. I want to be debt free, I’m not going to get out of debt by digging the hole deeper.

And as y’all mentioned earlier, I’m doing fine for myself even without a car. I need to just keep doing what I’ve been doing.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Also, I think I neglected to mention: I suppose I would be approved for a car loan if I co-signed with my parents.

But one, eff that. I’m an adult, I don’t want to have to co-sign with my parents anymore. And two, Dave Ramsey would kill me lol. I want to be debt free, I’m not going to get out of debt by digging the hole deeper.

And as y’all mentioned earlier, I’m doing fine for myself even without a car. I need to just keep doing what I’ve been doing.

Used car prices are now down 10-12% from where they were earlier this year

 

[nicksaiz65]

Used car prices are now down 10-12% from where they were earlier this year

Yeah, it shouldn’t take me more than 3-4 months to save for a car realistically.

My new side hustle eats up all of these random fees(needed to buy a ladder, reserving room for upcoming wedding, buying golf clubs for upcoming wedding, parking, etc) that were making it difficult to save money.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Yeah, it shouldn’t take me more than 3-4 months to save for a car realistically.

My new side hustle eats up all of these random fees(needed to buy a ladder, reserving room for upcoming wedding, buying golf clubs for upcoming wedding, parking, etc) that were making it difficult to save money.

You're going to hit on the wedding attendee chicks, right?

 

[SW15]

You're going to hit on the wedding attendee chicks, right?

Weddings are not the gold mine that they once were for meeting women.

The most important point of wedding season from the perspective of the unattached man or the marginally attached man is that he can say "no" to attending any of his friends' weddings. These things aren't cheap so there needs to be a good reason to go. Even after saying no, he can even retain the friendships as well. Family member weddings are a bit of a different option. Good luck saying "no" to attending a sibling or parent's wedding. You can probably get away with saying "no" to a first cousin's wedding if it is far away.

It's getting more difficult to get laid at weddings for the unattached man now. At most times in most social circles, women are in relationships and not open to meeting new men at the times when their friends are getting married. A larger percentage of modern day weddings are people around 30 years old with other people in their social circle around 30 and in the midst of some sort of LTR on the wedding. Most of the bridesmaids have boyfriends.

If social circles lead to relationships, people are introduced well before a wedding reception.

The only time that a wedding reception could lead to a blossoming romance is if a couple gets married early in life and most of their social circle is still too young to have attachments. That type of wedding is getting less common.

Additionally, if you're a marginally attached man (you have a plate/girlfriend but it's unknown where the gf relationship is going), you might not even receive a +1 for your girlfriend depending on that relationship and how well the social circle knows/likes the girlfriend.

My closest friend got married in 2017 and there were 100+ attendees. How many unattached women attended that wedding? 0. The marrying couple were 28 and 29 at the time of the wedding, meaning their social circle of 27-33 year olds were all in various stages of committed couplehood. There would be 0 single women looking for a man. Few unattached men showed up because the unattached men knew that there would be 0 unattached women showing up. Some other weddings in my social circle were similar to that in terms of unattached women.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Weddings are not the gold mine that they once were for meeting women.

The most important point of wedding season from the perspective of the unattached man or the marginally attached man is that he can say "no" to attending any of his friends' weddings. These things aren't cheap so there needs to be a good reason to go. Even after saying no, he can even retain the friendships as well. Family member weddings are a bit of a different option. Good luck saying "no" to attending a sibling or parent's wedding. You can probably get away with saying "no" to a first cousin's wedding if it is far away.

It's getting more difficult to get laid at weddings for the unattached man now. At most times in most social circles, women are in relationships and not open to meeting new men at the times when their friends are getting married. A larger percentage of modern day weddings are people around 30 years old with other people in their social circle around 30 and in the midst of some sort of LTR on the wedding. Most of the bridesmaids have boyfriends.

If social circles lead to relationships, people are introduced well before a wedding reception.

The only time that a wedding reception could lead to a blossoming romance is if a couple gets married early in life and most of their social circle is still too young to have attachments. That type of wedding is getting less common.

Additionally, if you're a marginally attached man (you have a plate/girlfriend but it's unknown where the gf relationship is going), you might not even receive a +1 for your girlfriend depending on that relationship and how well the social circle knows/likes the girlfriend.

My closest friend got married in 2017 and there were 100+ attendees. How many unattached women attended that wedding? 0. The marrying couple were 28 and 29 at the time of the wedding, meaning their social circle of 27-33 year olds were all in various stages of committed couplehood. There would be 0 single women looking for a man. Few unattached men showed up because the unattached men knew that there would be 0 unattached women showing up. Some other weddings in my social circle were similar to that in terms of unattached women.

You hit the nail on the head. Even more so cause this wedding is in Jamaica.

Since I’ll be part of the bachelor party, I doubt I’ll really be able to approach like that.

 

[nicksaiz65]

As an unrelated note… the first thing I’m going to do after I get my car is to take a couple months and pay off my Apple Card all the way. Then I have to put all my focus on saving for the move and not letting #WeddingSZN bankrupt me.

I am sick of giving all my money to Goldman Sachs. Lol.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Advice from the old lady:

Go to Nashville. Yesterday. You work remote so you are not tethered geographically. That’s good. Look on Craigslist for a room share situation. They exist.

You might get hit with fees though if you break your lease, but do the cost analysis. Get on Craigslist and go to the “Housing Wanted” section. Put an ad up that you are a computer professional with a stable job who does not smoke, has no pets, and is quiet and responsible. See who responds to you.

When I divorced I was living in a very small Midwest town. Great for marrieds & families, awful for singles. This is exactly what I did to find housing in the major metro where I now live. I posted in Craigslist Housing Wanted. A family from Detroit reached out to me and although I never met them I resided in their very nice second home for 2 years, fully furnished, all bills paid, and the 4 or 5 times a year they needed the house? It was holidays mainly where I’d be away to be with family anyway. I’d park my car at a friends place for a week and because I was flexible I got a 4 bed 2.5 bath house in an affluent area with a pool for 30% of rents in that area. I couldn’t use the garage (they had a car that was parked there) and it was a sweet deal.

I found the next place I lived the same way, and got into a roommate situation in a 2.5M house in an exclusive area where I had my own bedroom, en suite, private entrance, doors to the pool/jacuzzi and my own garage for my car. All bills paid, fraction of rents in the area. Lived there 2 years, saved a ton.

So be creative & see what you find.

Also, you can get a solid car for under 5K. Do that. Get a Honda or Toyota or Volvo. They run forever. My fiancé drives a 20 year old Honda. He paid 4K for it. It’s super reliable and has almost 300K miles. Our garage is kinda funny. His Millionaire Next Door car next to my Dave Ramsey would kill us exotic. We don’t care.

Cost it out & go to Nashville. Then you can go out as you please and be available to pick up additional gigs too.

You are wasting time and money where you are. The school loans can wait. Optimize the rest of your life and then get back to debt service.

Totally agree that I can start shooting down at debt AFTER the move.

Once I touch down, I’ll start brushing up my CS skills and maybe even do overemployed to really Jack that income up.

 

[SW15]

You need to get a car and move to Nashville yesterday.

 

[nicksaiz65]

You need to get a car and move to Nashville yesterday.

Yup… I’m doing everything within my power to accomplish that bro.

Estimated timeframe for the move is one more year due to needing to bolster my savings. The car, a few months.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I'd argue we are in a much different time right now than previous times, making good money right now is a much better thing than it has been in the past, this trend looks to be continuing into the future.

I would career chase and forego bishes, typically you might want to do a bit of chasing but again this is a different time, a little bit is going to go farther than it has in the past.

 

[SW15]

Most women are able to make their own money now. The difference in the amount he can change his salary in 1-2 years by career chasing and forgoing bishes would be inconsequential.

If a man is going to lead with his wallet now, he needs to make more money to do that. Because women can earn their own money now, most desirable women have very little use for the 55th to 80th percentile type provider male guy.

There was a recent thread about this.....

Women Don't Want a Semi-Successful Man

Men in this category, $75k-$125k salary, relatively in shape, drive a good car, has a few hobbies, women do not want. Why? Because this man has standards. Women do not want to work for their men. Women of today want a simp or a millionaire. Simple as that. This is what society aka social media...

www.sosuave.net

 

[nicksaiz65]

Most women are able to make their own money now. The difference in the amount he can change his salary in 1-2 years by career chasing and forgoing bishes would be inconsequential.

If a man is going to lead with his wallet now, he needs to make more money to do that. Because women can earn their own money now, most desirable women have very little use for the 55th to 80th percentile type provider male guy.

There was a recent thread about this.....

Women Don't Want a Semi-Successful Man

Men in this category, $75k-$125k salary, relatively in shape, drive a good car, has a few hobbies, women do not want. Why? Because this man has standards. Women do not want to work for their men. Women of today want a simp or a millionaire. Simple as that. This is what society aka social media...

www.sosuave.net

If I were to work at AirBnB as a software engineer, I could get my salary above $200K.

However, I’d need to take time to seriously focus on improving my skills and getting ready for those nightmare interviews. They’re as difficult as the ones for Facebook or Google. I can focus on getting up to this level after my move, I can’t do everything at once and I think that making the move happen is higher priority.

Going at a very hard pace of studying, I think it should take one year. Going at a moderate pace, it’ll probably take two years for me to be ready.

If I really wanted to make a move, I could do Overemployed. (That’s working two remote jobs at once.) That would put my salary around $270K and then money would NOT be an issue at all lol.

 

[SW15]

If I were to work at AirBnB as a software engineer, I could get my salary above $200K.

$200k per year is about what you need to have enough of a salary/lifestyle status needed to impress a woman now. The difference between a $70k job and a $110k per year job won't mean much in terms of lifestyle/seduction.

 

[nicksaiz65]

$200k per year is about what you need to have enough of a salary/lifestyle status needed to impress a woman now. The difference between a $70k job and a $110k per year job won't mean much in terms of lifestyle/seduction.

Plus, with that salary I could travel more which is more options/access with women. This is on top of already living in a big city.

Those interviews are probably about the 7th circle of hell though. I’ll need 1-2 years to be on the level.

It’s also a stressful job, and you need to be aware of corporate layoffs. You could argue that the salary is worth it tho.

 

[nicksaiz65]

$200k per year is about what you need to have enough of a salary/lifestyle status needed to impress a woman now. The difference between a $70k job and a $110k per year job won't mean much in terms of lifestyle/seduction.

I’d say that I agree with the figure of $200K a year being about where you need to be to impress a woman at this point.

However, I don’t 100% agree with the sentiment that 70K -> 110K doesn’t make much of a difference between lifestyle/seduction. In my opinion, that 40K would go a long way. It could be used for travel/AirBnBs to give yourself more access to hotter women. Or, it could even be used to pay “normal” expenses like debt so that going out more and buying drinks every weekend is a non-issue.

 

[nicksaiz65]

By the way guys, believe it or not, me not getting approved for a car loan may have in fact been a blessing in disguise.

I’ve been writing some sample budgets, and with a car note they fall apart and simply just don’t work at all. I’d have to pick up a second job. And believe me, when I move, I will not be doing overtime for the first year. I will be working 40 hours a week and living my life/relaxing after 3 PM once work is done lol.

Tbh, had I gotten a car note, I would’ve been stuck in my small town with a nice car

 

[nicksaiz65]

You need to get a car and move to Nashville yesterday.

Relocations don't solve dating problems in most cases. There is a situation where relocations can make a difference. It is a similar situation to the one @nicksaiz65 is facing right now. A relocation from a smaller town (under 150,000 population) to someplace larger (150,000+) can solve dating problems. The biggest problem in smaller areas is a lack of options. The area where @nicksaiz65 lives right now is under 150,000 population and



The main reason that I like Nashville for you longer term is that you have a history of living in Tennessee. That can help for social circle introductions at some point in life. In Miami, you're just another transplant with no connections to the area. Even if you stay in Miami for 5-10 years, you're probably not going to get into the good Miami social circles as a transplant to Miami in his late 20s.

You could have social circle options if you stayed in Tennessee based on your past and present in Tennessee.

I’ve been thinking about what you said, and the more I contemplate it, Nashville does make a lot of sense.

Since the branch of the company I work for is in Cookeville, I could still show my face at the company events etc. I’d just commute in reverse once every two weeks or so.

Since I’d live in a big city, I could even make the mistake of trying to play in a band again for fun lol, without it interfering with my game.

I always enjoy your posts. They’re very well thought out.

As for a status update… still in contact with potential roommates and saving the money I make ti make this work.

 

[SW15]

stuck in my small town with a nice car

Not ideal for dating.

I’ve been thinking about what you said, and the more I contemplate it, Nashville does make a lot of sense.

Since the branch of the company I work for is in Cookeville, I could still show my face at the company events etc. I’d just commute in reverse once every two weeks or so.

Since I’d live in a big city, I could even make the mistake of trying to play in a band again for fun lol, without it interfering with my game.

I always enjoy your posts. They’re very well thought out.

You have so many more options in terms of how to conduct your sex life living in Nashville. You would be better positioned for either short term sex or for LTRs.