GAME TIGHT (article)

[Vince]

A very interesting read.

Game Tight

The objective:

A lot of men in the dark sea of intimate encounters are lost in the rocky currents of dealing with the day-to-day situations, and circumstances that come with dealing with their partners and significant other’s (present, past, and future).

Game tight is the lighthouse that guides them through the rough currents and brings them safely to the shores of understanding these people and their complicated nature. You can use this as a navigational tool in understanding the women of the world and their sometimes-complicated nature, which most men find so hard to understand. This book will shed light on the fact that although you won’t always get dealt the perfect hand, a man at the top of his game can work with the hand he’s dealt. To all the men out there who claim to have all the game in the world, I bring you this to add an edge to your already sharpened swords.

However, I must also warn that if your homeboys, or male associate tell you they’ve never had bad relationships with a woman, be careful of his advice. There is no diamond that starts out flawless. They all have to be polished to perfection. And experience is the best tool for polishing a man’s game. Even if the experience doesn’t belong to you. Every man’s weakness could be your strength.

So, enjoy these gems.

1. Treat the woman with the potential to be a star as though she already is one. As for the woman who is already a star, in order to bring her back down to earth, make her aware of the fact that she’s not the only star in the solar system. She is one among many and, for the time being, she is yours…

CHAPTER 1: THE THREE STAGES OF GAME ATTRACTION

This is the first key to the game — “attraction!” The idea is that every so-called player or playerette with pimpjuice gets anywhere without this vital element of silent persuasion.

HOW IT’S DONE:

In most cases, there are two basic attributes involved in achieving the above.

* Physical attractiveness.
* Style.

Ok, let’s start with the easiest of the two — “physical attractiveness.” Usually, the first thing that attracts you to another person is their physical features. For one, it’s the first thing that you notice about a person, and secondly there’s an old saying that goes “you never get a second chance to make a first impression.” So, basically, just look the part of someone impressive.

All a man has to do is keep his appearance up and he’s halfway there. The other half of the puzzle is that he must acquire his own style. Style and appearance go hand in hand. A handsome guy could have no style at all and, by the same token, a man with style could lack a strong physical appearance.

Your style is what sets you apart from everybody else, and in this case separates you from every other man out there. With it comes uniqueness. Without it, you’re in trouble.

For those who lack style here’s the one and only necessary tip for you. Confidence. Having confidence in your ability to attract a person will provide the foundation for style, which you lack. Confidence will make up for any lack of style, guaranteed.

WHY IT WORKS

When someone is attracted to you, one dead giveaway is eye contact. This is what usually happens; you notice a guy or a girl, then you try and make eye contact. Stop! Hold that image and ask yourself one question: “What’s the purpose of me establishing eye contact?” To pick up on the other person’s vibes if any even exist between the two of you. People say, “The eyes are the windows to a person’s soul.” Women are masters of keeping these windows closed. A lot of women are like fugitives on the run from the law when it comes to making eye contact. The thing is, most women don’t know if they even fit the description of the suspect you’re after in the first place. The first time she notices you are in pursuit of her, she may grow afraid of being cornered by all the elements of your attraction and will immediately destroy any physical evidence that her eyes may reveal.

However, if your style and physical appearance are working as a team, you’ll know … she’ll notice you more than once to confirm it. What happens in most cases is that a guy doesn’t know whether to pursue the invitation or just pass it off as a woman simply taking notice of him.

Here’s the key; everybody deep down inside has a goal of one day achieving true happiness, but believe for the meantime that laughter is the way to a woman’s heart. The thing is that any man can put a smile on a woman’s face. The secret of a man whose game is tight is that he can put a smile in a woman’s eyes before one forms on her lips. Still, not convinced? Think back to a time when you were out with your girlfriend or spouse and she caught you staring at another woman. Does that slap in the face refresh your memory? See I believe women knew this theory way before men, and that is what caused the slap in the face so, next time the two of you are out, keep this in mind: “she’s not stupid.”

Now, I’m going to go back to something I mentioned in the beginning of the chapter about confidence.

Women want a man with confidence, a man who knows what he wants and makes definite decisions. Rule #1, don’t get caught up in making statements with terms such as “I guess so” or making general statements about things of little importance. If this is how you deal with a woman or anybody on a day-to-day basis my guess is that a lot of people walk away from you feeling as though you were no help to them at all, especially if the questions or issues dealt with directions. See, all people who have no goal or aim in life subconsciously seek direction on a daily basis. The reason this happens is that it is human nature to seek a path in life and to try and follow it. Most people wait all their life for a sign or something to show them the light of that direction. What is interesting is that this theory relates to men and women’s interactions and encounters in its own way.

A woman seeks a man who is confident and knows what he wants in life. However, in this situation we’ll substitute his overall goal in life for confidence. Some women figure that if he is confident in what he wants for now, he must have a bright future ahead of him. And this is why you must avoid making statements such as “I think” or “I might” especially when you first meet a person.

After all, if you don’t fully grasp an idea or decision made by you, then why should or would she? She wants to feel safe knowing that the guy she’s with tonight or for the rest of her future can be “the man” and make decisions when situations may or might call for them. She wants to know she’s with a winner, not a looser. Confidence is like mama’s fried chicken — as soon as you walk in the house, you smell it. As soon as you enter a room, a woman with good senses can almost smell the confidence of a man with or without a swagger. Remember, confidence can make up for any lack of style. Just be careful not to be too confident in your ability. It could come back to haunt you later, as I will explain further on in this chapter.

 

[Vince]

.............Ok, physical attractiveness and style… now that you know the difference and importance of the two, bring them both together in a natural way and you’re ready for the second step of the game… The approach!!!!!

THE APPROACH AND THE LURE: The approach: The pick up

The days of the pick-up lines are long gone. Back in the day, a man with a strong pick-up line was practically Humphrey Bogart by the end of the day. Sad as it may sound, some still try. Wake up fellas! Women have advanced. Nine out of 10 times, if a woman goes for a line like “are your feet tired? ’Cause you’ve been walking through my mind alllllll day,” be careful buddy, she’s probably setting you up for something. The thing is, it doesn’t matter what she wants because chances are if you’re this lame she’ll accomplish whatever the objective she’s set for this sucker.

In these chance encounters, the rule is to not be predictable. A woman can sense a line from miles away. Think about it, you’re probably not the only dude that has approached her that day. You may be the first that has complimented her beauty but not the only one. And besides, complimenting her looks as an opener only throws you somewhere in line with the average admirer of hers… a clone…

This woman may even be physically attracted to you yet repelled by the clone in you. Here’s where the game tightens. If you ever fall in this category and some or all the answers to your approach begin like a Jill Scott song, “heard it all before,” don’t give up because she’s telling you something about her personal life by responding in this way. Read between the lines. She’s looking for a guy who’s different in approach. She’s hoping for a guy who can teach her something different, in a new and exciting way. She’s saying “I’ve already experienced life on the platter you’re bringing it to her on.” Either that or she never tasted the flavor you have. In any event, a response like this one is screaming one thing she wants excitement!!! (Flavor)

Now comes the dilemma — you have to be quick enough on the wit to figure which situation is hers. Then what do you do? Challenge her, but don’t forget to make it exciting…. It’s always better to assume she’s not ready for what you are selling because if you’ve still got her attention at this point then she’s heard it all before but hasn’t been shown it all before from this level.

In other words, she has met guys with potential to win, but have not stepped up to the plate.

So, what you have to do is get her on your good side by getting on hers. And the easiest way to get on a person’s good side or get them on your side is to find something that they like or can relate to and identify with it, “birds of a feather” as the saying goes. Nine times out of ten, in your situation, you’d be relating to an issue rather than something material. You see, women relate to each other better when it comes to material things just for the simple fact that they like the same feminine items in department stores, if nothing else. This is why men have a better time relating to an issue; say past relationships, maturity, romance, turn-ons etc. Be aware of something here, because you see this move is twofold. It allows you to get on her good side while also giving you insight on the type of person she is. You learn in a few sentences if she’s greedy or conservative, money wise or a shopaholic, of independent mind or influenced by others and a few other things in between. The thing is this, nobody’s perfect but at least you know what you’re up against.

These same issues will be important in discussion in the following chapter so remember their connection to the approach and the lure.

The subtle approach

There once was the stereotype that a woman’s place was “in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant.” And as the sting of that stigma started to wear off, another began in its place. Many times women have been exploited and objectified by the media as provocative and purely sexual beings. And even though women have become liberated through the years, traces of the past still exist in today’s world of vast stereotypes and norms of society.

The fact of the matter is this; whether housewife or business guru, every woman in the world has a unique position. It really doesn’t matter the status of that position, because to a woman they are all equally important, especially if she is or has chosen to play one. What a lot of men don’t seem to realize is that it is even more important that we take notice and recognize that position. Here’s where the game tightens. Men have egos, some bigger than others. A woman, on the other hand, has an ego with a conscience. To stroke a man’s ego is to enlarge it. To stroke a woman’s ego is to help clear her conscience. Any negative thoughts a woman might have had before being approached by a man who recognizes her position will be quickly erased. By recognizing her position, you have just stroked her ego.

Now her conscience is clear of any thoughts that have to do with her using an excuse intended to brush off any man interested in her. Ok, let’s look at it from a man’s perspective; let’s say that this guy standing at the desk of a hospital is approached by an attractive woman who doesn’t know him and assumes he is a doctor based on the type of suit he is wearing, and the fact that he has on a tag. And let’s go a step further and say that he actually is a doctor. Now this scene alone could give any man an instant feeling of pride and social importance, because not only did someone notice his position and the career path he has chosen, but it was an attractive woman.

It is this feeling that I want to focus on at this time. That feeling is what men and women have in common when either are approached in a situation similar to this one.

However, there is a slight difference here in the way a woman responds internally to this feeling as apposed to the way a man does. Women have one-liners set up just for situations that involve being approached by any man who is interested. They tell their girlfriends of these encounters all the time;

Girl: “I met the handsomest guy today.”

Girl friend: “ for real? What happened?”

Girl: “ I mean he was cute and all, I just got the wrong vibes from him.”

Girl friend: “What was wrong with him?”

Girl: “I don’t know. He was cute. If I see him again, who knows?”

Girl friend: “so what did you tell him?”

Girl: “you known, I’m too busy with work to call him, so I just told him I didn’t date.”

Now what this woman just described to her friend was the way she clears her conscience for using an excuse to brush off a guy off she found attractive, but with whom she couldn’t make a connection. Now, if this same guy, under different circumstances, approached her, say he recognized her title as a doctor or whatever she was, things might have gone different. Remember, a woman’s position in the world is important to her. And it is even more important for a man to take notice of it, so next time you’re out remember you are approaching a person with a position and not just a name. Alicia Keys wrote a song “you don’t know my name,” but if you read between the lines it sounds more like “you don’t know what I represent…”


“The strong come on”

A strong come on isn’t accidental it is something you create. Not to be confused with a pickup line, a strong come on has taken the place of the pickup lines of the past. The strong come on is like a line you purposely throw out and its purpose is to set up an even stronger comeback to the response you get. It’s supposed to create an instant spark of flirtation in response to flattery. But don’t get carried away, it’s only a spark. Once it is created, intellect has to take over in order for you to control the pace of the game.

For example: THE SCENE

Mid-afternoon on a sunny summer day, the man is standing (in floss mode) along a sidewalk with light traffic as the woman approaches.

Man (turns his head in direction of the woman, attempting to make eye contact takes a step towards her and simply says): “Excuse me, but ain’t this a nice day to talk to you?” (With a half-smile on his curious-looking face, simultaneously lifting his hands and head toward the sky.)

Woman (completely caught off guard, smiles and attempts to play along by also glimpsing in an upward direction: “I guess” (she says in a slow subtle way).

The man quickly responds, “so let me walk you to the corner.” (Spark of flirtation created)

Intellect takes over from this point. But, the message is clear. The come on was strong enough to create the spark for the comeback. Now, in the course of an average day, you may run into or see at least 3 people you find physically attractive. Yet, there is always that one who stands out, that person that holds your attention. The sad thing about this is most of the time that person isn’t even your type. This brings us to one of the most important parts of this chapter — the lure.

What people don’t seem to get is that whether you’re the lurer or the person being lured, what people say and do is the bridge that draws you or the person drawn to you together for a chance connection. Now, believe it or not, these two things (what a person says and does) is what actually determines your “type”.

 

[Vince]

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Remember when you first meet someone, never loose track of their aura or unique personality. If you are dealing with a square, show them a little bit of spontaneousness and excitement but keep in mind that they’re still a square. You may try and turn them into someone who is the life of the party but be warned — you may be able to put a square into a circle only if the circle is so big that it completely surrounds the square but every time you look at the square, its shape still remains.

Example; treat that lady like a freak when the time calls for it but always allow her to maintain her ability to become ladylike at any given moment. And visa versa, show the freak that she’s a lady deep down inside but don’t forget you can’t change a hoe into a housewife!!! Besides, in most cases, the objective is romance not a commitment. Now once you’ve come to this point of realization in the game, the lure will come naturally to you, because the lure is basically what you say to a person, coinciding with attraction and the approach. The thing is words are only one part of the lure. You have to eventually prove that your actions speak louder than words. Simple right? Now let’s discuss the reason why the approach and lure work.

The lure: Why it works

A woman ready to settle down wants a little security. She wants to know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Most women with this vision or premonition are an average 29 years and up. See, at this age, she begins to look into her past and question the tone of her future and its direction. “Will she meet Mr. Perfect, or Mr. Right?” Did she experiment with dating enough up to this point?” “Will she ever marry?” - Blah, blah, blah…

And why shouldn’t she be thinking about these things at this point in her life? After all, her girlfriends may all be happily married, and don’t think for a minute that her girlfriends’ situations don’t effect the way she sees her own future in some way. Guess what? Women fear being alone just like men. So, at this stage of the game, you’re like a chauffeur. You have to put her in the passenger seat so that she can see what it’s like to be on your road of life. Give her a tour of what things could be like with you, you know, lay your game plan down before her.

But please remember this important jewel. The ride has to be comfortable enough that she is interested in where you are taking her, and not worried about the signs of danger all around her, from the hazard signs of what could go wrong to the caution signs that lead to places she has never been before.

Now fellas, I must warn you that this technique is reserved for the one you’re probably planning to keep in your corner so be careful — things could get crazy if this isn’t what your purpose is. The lure for a two-way fling or summer romance! The moves for luring a woman in this situation are much different because the only advantage involved here is a key I like to call having the edge on romance. You have to know if the feeling is mutual in this situation, because women who are interested in a fling can be very indirect in their intentions at first.

In order to ensure that you don’t end up barking up the wrong tree, keep this important rule in mind — you must always stay two steps ahead of her… at all times.

To break it down in simpler terms, predict her next move before she makes it.

Think of it as a game of one on one, except the idea here isn’t to score a bunch of points. Scoring points gets you nowhere with a woman. You could score a bunch of points and still blow the game. Score a few points to make it interesting, but your main focus is to control the tempo of the game. If things are moving too fast between the two of you, let it be known.

Remember, women like a man in control and confident in decision-making. Believe it or not, this is when you score the most points. Keep her interested while allowing nature to take its normal course, not rushing things that will happen naturally. If things ever get serious, pace yourself. Don’t make everyday a Valentine’s Day or Christmas. What happens is that you kill two innocent birds with one stone. You either do so much that you run out of things to surprise her with or you never give her a chance to recover from the previous episode. You see, women like to cherish such things as moments, gifts, memories etc. but you have to give a memory time to become a memory before creating another one. Keep these last two paragraphs in mind because they are essential in terms of understanding the third and final stage of game. The one that will give you the basics on game before the real deep stuff comes at you…

Keeping the catch living up to the hype

Before I begin to reveal the keys to the last and final “stages of game,” I got a question for the men out there. Yes, I mean you. How many people do you know who are out there living a lie? You know, pretending to be someone or something they’re not. I don’t mean following a dream, I mean straight up lying to themselves about who they are. No, what I speak of relates more to a person’s personality than his legal identity. A guy like this can make his own image his own worst enemy in relationships. The image he projects in the eyes of his significant other is a false one! In the beginning stages of game he was on point with everything style, lure, etc. But he made one mistake before he got to this stage. I mentioned that being over-confident in your ability could come back to bite you in the ass.

Well guess what? Here’s where it happens. This is where the dog bites the hand that feeds it, so to speak. What he didn’t realize is that in order to keep the woman you intend to be with, you must by all means LIVE UP TO THE HYPE!!!

Simple, all you have to do is fill the shoes you claimed belonged to you. Still don’t get it? Let’s say for example, that you are a huge Michael Jordan fan. It’s 1995; Jordan is in his prime and has three rings already, going for four. It’s the playoffs and the bulls are down 2 games in a 5 game series, Mike’s shooting is off something terrible 1 of 25 or something like that. He’s already fouled out every game of the playoffs before this one and now he’s doing the same tonight in Chicago. Long story short, they lose and are bumped from the playoffs after ending the regular season winning 70 of 82 games. And even worse, they lose the first round of the next three seasons with Jordan’s stats being the same. You being a loyal fan are now completely disappointed, because he didn’t live up to the hype. Well I got news for you — a woman is the same way. She may stick it out with you the first losing season but eventually, if the end is the same, she’ll get discouraged and begin to think “Hey, this guy was full of hot air all along. I thought he was the one.” Etc. etc…

You know what the sad part about all this is? A lot of times men don’t even purposely do it. Some men want a woman so bad that they are willing to do almost anything to keep her even, if it means to make broken promises to or lying to themselves. Now if you’re like a lot of guys I’ve spoken to and want to make things work, but haven’t yet grasped the idea of being true to your word, there’s still hope for you. This is tip and rule one for you ”have a good memory.” In order for you to be a man of your word it pays to remember what those words were. Don’t be predictable.

Women like a man that isn’t easy to figure out. They like a mystery. Why do good girls go for bad boys; because they are unpredictable. Men are like books to women. If the cover gets their attention, they are intrigued to continue on reading. But, if they start to read and can predict the ending of the story then what’s the sense in continuing? Believe it or not fellas, we are viewed by women in this way all the time. If a woman can figure you out within days or even minutes then to them there is no challenge.

Don’t get it yet? Think of it this way. If you were dating a person for more than two years and every day for that time you do almost exactly the same thing (you wake up, eat breakfast, kiss your woman good bye, come home, hit the showers, etc.) it will eventually bore the hell out of any woman. It may take two weeks or two years, regardless of the fact, you have become a robot to her. If this is you, your relationship is in immediate danger. If she is screaming on the inside for a change of pace or just a little excitement, she will seek it eventually. I believe this is why most marriages fail. No more excitement. The fire and excitement of when two people first met begins to burn out. And this theory doesn’t just apply to married couples; it applies to pretty much any intimate relationship between two people, which involves some degree of commitment.

Anyway, I didn’t call this chapter keeping the catch for nothing. If this is you or could become you and you would like to keep your woman here’s how. There’s one frame of mind you must adopt before you can fix the problem or avoid a potential one. You have to treat each day of the relationship as if it was the first day the two of you got together. This state of mind is essential for you because once you display this type of affection you will instantly receive it. Even a woman who doesn’t like surprises will enjoy a little excitement every now and then.

 

[Vince]

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(When dealing with this type of woman, understand that she doesn’t like surprises in her relationships. Could be a bad experience with an ex. This is most likely the case. However, there was a time when she did enjoy surprises or at least wanted to. Now here’s your chance to be the rehabilitation process responsible for restoring her enjoyment of a nice surprise. So, be exciting but be careful.)

I’ve asked women whether, a relationship with a guy like the one I described earlier (the robot), would lead them to be tired and bored of him and his routine. Each one of them responded yes. Then I asked whether one day out of those two years, instead of coming home from work and performing his normal routine, he switched up and maybe showed up at the house from work naked in a long coat. Would that surprise them in a way that excited them while adding a memory to their relationship? They happily said yes.

Women have good memories. Why not give her something to stand out in those memories. If you set a goal to do something like this at least once a week for your woman, after a while it will no longer be a goal but an instinct…

Go the extra mile

Women like to know from time to time if their man is interested in them the way they were the first time they met. Yea, you’ve been together a few years now and sure she knows you love her. The thing is she needs to hear it. If not, she’ll think you don’t want to say it. And if she has to remind you, she’ll think you don’t really mean it. In any event, she’ll feel a little insecure. And you’ll probably wonder where the hell this is coming from.

Well if this is you, ask yourself this question. Does she have girlfriends? If you said yes to that you’ll probably say yes to my next question. Do she and the friends of hers ever (even accidentally) bring their boyfriend or husband up in conversation between the two of them? Yes!!! This is probably a good reason why women want to hear love expressed, that you desire them, or that they still turn you on sexually. Her girlfriends have been giving her the scoop on her relationship probably since grade school... why would it change now? Especially since a woman who thinks she has a good man would want to show him off to her friends. (Even if it’s done indirectly) She may leave a few things out, hell she may even be lying, but the fact of the matter is this; your woman has lent her an ear. Anything that woman says is bound to trigger her to catch an ear infection, and guess what your words have to cure this ear ache…

So, once in a while go that extra mile. If you plan things for the two of you, go the extra mile. ****, give your woman her own day. It’s not a birthday or a holiday, just a day for her. A day she gets pampered with whatever she wants. Hell, make a banner for her; make fliers. Every one has a birthday and people celebrate holidays but how many people actually have their own day? See where I’m going with this? It doesn’t have to be a national holiday. And that brings us to the conclusion of chapter 1 of the three steps of game.

Tip: Even if you are a thug-type dude, be a gentleman about it. Never kiss and tell. You have to keep in mind that if your girl is attractive to you, she’s probably attractive to the next man as well.

Don’t invite another man into your bedroom. Think about it. If he knows what gets her started and what keeps her going, it will be easy for him to fill in the blanks. Not only could he take advantage of a recent breakup between the two of you. He could also be the cause of the break up all he has to do is go straight to your girl with the info. Believe me, it’s happened before.

You might say hey, my boy would never do that to me. But, then again you would never know until you put him in that position. Never give an honest man a chance to be dishonest in this situation. He could have liked her before you and never mentioned it. He could be jealous of the relationship. He could secretly want her so bad that he’s willing to do almost anything to get her, even betray his own friend to do it. In any event, if you know a guy is a kleptomaniac, you wouldn’t invite him to your home and then leave him there alone expecting nothing to be missing when you come back. So please keep the doors to your bedroom closed. Otherwise, you could be making room for the fake you to come in and take over in the end…

Let the game begin…