Gaining confidence

[RedSky]

Hey everybody

Aint been online for a while now. Whilst i've been out and about, i've noticed the same problem holding me back time after time and that is confidence.

I'm a shy person and i decided to change this some time back. I've been told ways to gain confidence is to fake having confidence until you begin to actual have it. Other people say that you should not care what people think of you and by doing this you will begin to display confidence.

I've tried both these methods but have to be honest i have shruggled with them.

So does anyone have any advice or tips about how to gain confience or do i simply have to persist with the methods i've already tried.

Cheers for any advice

 

[PoliticalCrisis]

Action is the only form of change in this business. You keep fighting for your evolutionary spot of survival.
Shyness is but a barrier of success, forget this **** they teach you here, go experience rather then read what other guys have to say about your life and make generalizations of who you are and what might make you a better person. You yourself know what you need.

 

[Nygard]

Confidence comes from success, but success comes from confidence.Keep faking it and someday you'll get lucky with it and it will start to snowball into the right direction.

 

[Effington]

The term we use around here is "fake it 'til you make it" and it works. I think the only way to truly gain confidence is through experience, so get working on that. But I'd fake it until it comes naturally if I were you, if you're a pushover you won't get any respect.

 

[RedSky]

Thanks guys for the advice

I've tried the advice you mentioned and yet i still find myself at step 1 over and over again.

I'm starting to think of confidence as a fragile thing that has to be careful built up and yet can be knocked down so easily.

I'm sure though however that this isn't the actual case as confident people don't worry bout insults or bad luck and it actual takes alot to knock their confidence.

These are just my thoughts on confidence so far from my expereinces. Anyways i will keep trying at this and i'm sure one day i'll be a very confident person to

Cheers

 

[Scion]

Gaining confidence is a tricky thing. It's true that the only way to gain confidence is by having success in whatever your trying to be confident about. And the only way to be successful is to get experience. However I've found that if you try and get experience and you fail that your confidence goes down a tiny bit. One failure will do little to your confidence, but they add up. That's pretty much the reason I stopped trying with women, I knew that if I kept failing my confidence would continue to plummet. At this point I'm focusing on other things in life, things that I'm confident about and things that will eventually provide a positive outcome (mostly money related). I'd love to learn to get women solely on game but I don't think I'm capable of that yet. I may have to start out with getting women with money and gain confidence. And eventually I'll be able to get women through game alone. It's a plan that'll take a while though, but luckily every year there's lots of girls turning 18.

 

[YoungHOV]

Thanks guys for the advice

I've tried the advice you mentioned and yet i still find myself at step 1 over and over again.

I'm starting to think of confidence as a fragile thing that has to be careful built up and yet can be knocked down so easily.

I'm sure though however that this isn't the actual case as confident people don't worry bout insults or bad luck and it actual takes alot to knock their confidence.

These are just my thoughts on confidence so far from my expereinces. Anyways i will keep trying at this and i'm sure one day i'll be a very confident person to

Cheers

Start lifting. I've put on about 25 pounds after being very skinny all my life and it has given me a more positive outlook on life in general. Not to mention the looks I'm starting to get from girls.

 

[j0n24]

I dont really agree with the whole "Fake it till you make it," Mentality.

Your basically lying to yourself just HOPING that you will gain confidence...I would never lie to myself but that's just me.

I say ask yourself WHY you feel shy or embarassed or why you dont feel confident.

If your embarssed walking up to girls ask yourself WHY you feel that way.
People will look at me and laugh (No they wont noone gives a shiit about anything else but their own little world)
I'll get beat up by their BF/Husband (No you wont because you just tell them the truth that you thought his girl was cute and thought she was single and leave..you'll get respect instead of a black eye)
I'm ugly (Looks are very trivial...just walk around and you will see ugly guys with girls so you I DOUBT your the most ugly person on the world)

If you dont feel confident in your abilities..ask WHY you feel this way and if you cant think of a REAL answer and be honest then it's just in your head.

Good lucks .

 

[Lexington]

The only way to gain true confidence is to do that thing you wish to gain confidence about. Go out there, do lots and lots of approaches. You will fail on many of them, but if you do enough of them, you will eventually succeed. By approaching many women you will a) lose the fear of rejection since you will be completely desensitized to it and b) succeed with at least one through the numbers game.

It's simple probability: unless you are hideously ugly (i.e. 2 standard deviations below the average level of attractiveness), have incredibly inadequate social skills or lack basic grooming, you will almost certainly have some success.

So man up, grow some balls and do some approaches. Channel your inner a$$hole if you have to: be that guy who doesn't give a flying fvck about what others think and just do what you want.

 

[romanticman]

Of you need other people validtion for your confidence you are screwed. The key to confidence is not pursuing it but simply being it. We are conditioned as children to not do this and not do that .This programing is to blame. To be confident you must remove negative beliefs