G/F won't tell ex about me.....

[assasin]

I really want to get this off my chest with her, about taking so damn long to tell him.

But that was your fault not hers. She pvssy footed about trying to keep her options open because you were being such a flake. Do you understand? She's not going to chuck in a good hand unless she's got the promise of something better and you were not showing that promise. As soon as you got your act together you gave her the green light.

Now you're talking about hitting her with a load of attitude about being flaky? Hypocracy plain and simple. If you're feeling cut up about it you've only yourself to blame.

Now take another look at the thread, look at the AFC who started it and look at the man who resolved it, take the lesson away and leave the mistakes behind.

{edited - stupid filters!}

 

[bp1974]

Well done for standing your ground. Having another argument will not help you. She has done what you expected her to do and told him, so arguing with her again about it would be unreasonable and unfair.

I think what's eating you is the fact that your faith in how she feels about you has been shaken, so if you want to strengthen your relationship then you should tell her what's going on for you.

Sit her down, then calmly say something like, "I know you've told him, and I'm really glad you did, but it took you so long and I'm wondering why. Right now I don't feel that you're really with me. I want to know."

Use 'I' statements - ie, start your sentences with "I..", rather than "You..", as this will make it much harder for you to both get in to blaming mode ("You shoulda told him sooner.." etc).

bp1974

 

[netman]

BP, good advice but I'm going to pass on discussing this with her any further. I think I already made my point with her.

Assasin's post makes a lot of sense to me. I'm probably more mad at myself than I am with her. Yeah, I should of, would of, could of, but I didn't push the issue from the beginning. I let the issue linger and get to me, then I woke up and made my statement.

I should just learn from this, and take this negative and turn it into a positive. She definitely proved to me where she stands with me, and now I think we can move on. Am I thinking right?

 

[assasin]

Am I thinking right

Trust yourself. The only mistake you will ever make is not learning from the negative things in your life. The only things you should ever regret are the things you didn't do.

You will never have control of your life until you learn to trust your judgement. Sure you'll get it wrong on many an occasion, but often I find that the outcomes of my decisions may not have been what I wanted, but they are always what I needed.