FWB is over, I need all the advice on what to do next.

[thadder]

2 months of hooking up, never any staying over.

Hanging out with one another before sex, tons of cuddling afterwards, things like sharing music with one another.

Last Thursday, saw her the last time, she hugs, kisses me and I tell her a few things that lead to her crying, kissed her one last time.

Found out that there was someone else and she didn't want to sleep with two people but didn't specify why.

Haven't blocked her all on social media but deleted Snapchat, deleted the music playlists I made for her.

She's told me she's manipulative, an *******, and I just had to heard it concrete that it was indeed over.

How do I go about being calm and collect but also NC? I don't want her to get the vibe that I'm upset (I'm not)

 

[old_skoolr]

Haven't blocked her all on social media but deleted Snapchat, deleted the music playlists I made for her.

She's told me she's manipulative, an *******, and I just had to heard it concrete that it was indeed over.

How do I go about being calm and collect but also NC? I don't want her to get the vibe that I'm upset (I'm not)

Who makes playlists for chicks you bang??

You obviously care man, hence the post.

Just delete her off all social media.

 

[AttackFormation]

Block on all platforms. Casual sex is a red flag, even in 2017.

Lol, there wont be anyone left. That filter is just impossible. Maybe in a sharia law country

 

[TBG]

So this is now the second thread on this chick yet you claim not to be upset.

Dude, come on. The **** you said to her in the other thread was cringy as hell. It's clear you caught feelings and wanted/thought there was more to it. That's why you're upset she ended it for someone else.

 

[sosousage]

did you try texting her and asking for second chance?

 

[thadder]

did you try texting her and asking for second chance?

No, she started texting me again the other day because I didn’t text her.

She said to me she’s not comfortable sleeping with two guys at the same time, which basically translates to “I like this other guy more than I like you and don’t want to jeopardize it”

The last time I saw her (assuming she is maybe seeing this guy or at the very least in the preliminary stages) I hooked up with her and decided to give it my all (complete with choking, aggressive stuff she likes)

 

[Soflobro#3]

2 months of hooking up, never any staying over.

Hanging out with one another before sex, tons of cuddling afterwards, things like sharing music with one another.

Last Thursday, saw her the last time, she hugs, kisses me and I tell her a few things that lead to her crying, kissed her one last time.

Found out that there was someone else and she didn't want to sleep with two people but didn't specify why.

Haven't blocked her all on social media but deleted Snapchat, deleted the music playlists I made for her.

She's told me she's manipulative, an *******, and I just had to heard it concrete that it was indeed over.

How do I go about being calm and collect but also NC? I don't want her to get the vibe that I'm upset (I'm not)

Then why are you making a thread about this? Just don't talk to her. Ignore her if she contacts you.

 

[thadder]

So this is now the second thread on this chick yet you claim not to be upset.

Dude, come on. The **** you said to her in the other thread was cringy as hell. It's clear you caught feelings and wanted/thought there was more to it. That's why you're upset she ended it for someone else.

Previous post might have been a bit over the top, but that's my flare for drama I guess.

Any who, wasn't even a feelings thing because the last time we hooked up it just felt really off for the both of us.

For me, I was just under the impression that things were kosher and would hook up as an ebb & flow, like, no real issues you know. At the very best I can play an actor who pretends to be a pretty passionate guy (like really makes someone feel affectionate, adored, loved, etc) -- she did tell me multiple times not to catch feelings and then that eventually stopped.

Basically, if it was a good thing, why stop it? That was my thought process.

 

[resilient]

The usual advice OP... delete her #, unfollow/mute/block on social media. Hit the gym, hang out with the guys, get new #s/plates, and be about your mission and purpose in life I.e. academia/career. What has always helped me in the past is throwing myself into a new hobby 100%.

That said, you have to accept that the FWB time is over and you have to firmly put her behind you in the past. Dwelling on her will not serve you in where you wish to go.

 

[AJ84]

You were her plate and provided fun filler (no pun intended until her preferred choice of potential boyfriend came along. It’s not just guys who spin plates.
Casual sex, f**k buddies, FWB, it’s all no strings for a reason.
Just move on.

 

[HankHill]

How do I go about being calm and collect but also NC? I don't want her to get the vibe that I'm upset (I'm not)

That tells me you're still hoping that by your actions perhaps she'll come back...which is very understandable. It's clear you were emotionally attached (which again is very understandable to me because I'm like that myself even when I don't want to be). However, you need to stop worrying about what vibe you give off to her but what's better for you. What you need to do is very simple:

1. Don't block her ph/txt etc (I don't do that) but do de-friend her on social media (I never friend anyone unless she's my gf/wife anyway etc) so you that you don't get her new guy/vacations/life in your face.
2. No initiating contact whatsoever
3. If she initiates contact, no need to reply unless it's a legitimate question (or post here before replying). Don't worry if you don't reply for a day or so, she doesn't deserve your immediate attention. If she wants to work things out (I doubt it) the answer should be 'Perhaps...but I need some more time'.
4. Start looking for other women

 

[Mazer]

No, she started texting me again the other day because I didn’t text her.

She said to me she’s not comfortable sleeping with two guys at the same time, which basically translates to “I like this other guy more than I like you and don’t want to jeopardize it”

The last time I saw her (assuming she is maybe seeing this guy or at the very least in the preliminary stages) I hooked up with her and decided to give it my all (complete with choking, aggressive stuff she likes)

2nd place is first loser. Ignore her. Tell her to contact you if it doesn’t work. If she contacts you, invite her over and bang. Nothing else. If she doesn’t come over then you ignore indefinitely. Don’t let her keep you on the hook.

 

[Thatfeel21]

I find myself doing the same thing...not necessarily falling for FWBs...but slowly growing attached and suffering a bruised ego when they're the ones who want to move on after a few months of fun. its a weird dynamic because i know i would never date them, or have them meet my family, etc, but it sucks to lose guaranteed pvssy and the time you spent with them, cuz it makes you feel you yourself did something wrong.

 

[AJ84]

There is no bigger sign of disinterest than a woman allowing her man to be FWB and not manipulating him into a relationship as soon as possible. Actions not words.

Exactly. Which is why it’s weird when some guys think they have it made because the plate they have is ok with just being his plate with no strings, like she’s in his frame. It’s not that he has it made, it’s just that she isn’t into him enough to want more.
When a girl really wants a guy, she will usually pull out all her cards to try to get him to commit.

 

[HankHill]

Well it's also pure sexual validation compared with being provider-zoned. Its a better place to be, maximum reward minimum effort.

I don't see a problem with being in the provider-zoned as long as I'm being provided sexually and getting that validation you're talking about. I don't think they're mutually exclusive in the right relationship.

 

[AJ84]

I find myself doing the same thing...not necessarily falling for FWBs...but slowly growing attached and suffering a bruised ego when they're the ones who want to move on after a few months of fun. its a weird dynamic because i know i would never date them, or have them meet my family, etc, but it sucks to lose guaranteed pvssy and the time you spent with them, cuz it makes you feel you yourself did something wrong.

You didn’t do anything wrong but if you set it up that it’s just going to be sex and nothing more, you can’t be surprised if she acts accordingly. Women can enjoy sex and not fall for the guy, or even want him as a boyfriend. It’s not as common as guys who can do that but it’s certainly not rare. Like LAraider said, actions not words.

 

[thadder]

I've screen capped last night's conversation, if any of you want to take a look at it;

 

[HankHill]

I've screen capped last night's conversation, if any of you want to take a look at it;

Pretty much what you described...so there's no need to put it under the microscope and over analyze further. She told you pretty clearly that there's someone else she wants to be exclusive with. It is what it is, time to move on bro...there are plenty of other women out there.

 

[thadder]

Her IL is so low she's willing to bother telling you the truth. At least she isn't stringing you along. Btw in her mind she was manipulating you and keeping you as a backup option mentally, she said as much.

The "until it wasn't" threw me through a loop.

She had always told me over and over that she wasn't going to waste anyone's time, or she valued her time, which seemed a bit hypocritical because clearly if it was over, just tell me -- don't just fade it out with this false pretense.

Last Thursday when I hooked up with her (for the last time) she told me "I love the way you touch me, kiss me and f*** me" and "you should write a book for guys on how to touch/kiss a woman"

 

[AJ84]

These guys are right on the money OP. Take their advice and move on. She enjoyed you, now she’s gone. You enjoyed it too and now its over. Go out and enjoy someone else but before you do that, reconsider what it is you want from the next girl you sleep with. If it’s just sex that’s totally fine, but guard your feelings and don’t except more. Then, if more happens and you like her, bonus. If not, no skin off your back .