Fwb dumped me because I treated her like sh1t

[TheNewStyle123]

Ah the quantity vs. quality revelation...

Guys will eventually come across this when they meet a good girl(good in a sense that they treat you like a king and care about you).

A lesson to all the younger DJ's only going after notch counts. It's all good and fun until you come across someone that does it for you. Just don't be blind and pass up these moments to regret it later. Realize when you have someone good and be willing to put your notch counting on hold and see if you can build or cultivate something for a girl that seems worthwhile. You may never come across that sort of opportunity again.

Damn, food for thought with one of the plates I am seeing right now...

 

[Lordeterra]

Damn, food for thought with one of the plates I am seeing right now...

She gave me feedback on what made her leave and she said the sex was good and I fomiplinentwd her from time to time but said all I talked about was myself and my dreams and goals lmao. Narcissism

 

[BeExcellent]

Here’s the problem ALL narcissists eventually run into. At first it is easy to ply on the charm and the sex appeal and keep up a positive and sexual facade.

But it is a façade. Sooner or later the façade begins to slip and the dark nasty behavior that every narcissist camouflages begins to show through. There is more and more ass hole behavior as the need to impress a partner fades and familiarity sets in.

There are two ways to successfully navigate this. One is to call it out for what it is, face the resultant melt down and keep accountability and get through it (very very difficult to do -ask me how I know), and the other way is to leave and let the partner founder until they figure out THEY are in fact the problem. Few narcissists will own their crap. That’s why they are narcissists in the first place.

Pain is the best teacher to a narcissist, however brutal because pain is familiar and provides a certain comfort.

Some people are truly terrified at the prospect of healing their pain.

 

[Lordeterra]

Here’s the problem ALL narcissists eventually run into. At first it is easy to ply on the charm and the sex appeal and keep up a positive and sexual facade.

But it is a façade. Sooner or later the façade begins to slip and the dark nasty behavior that every narcissist camouflages begins to show through. There is more and more ass hole behavior as the need to impress a partner fades and familiarity sets in.

There are two ways to successfully navigate this. One is to call it out for what it is, face the resultant melt down and keep accountability and get through it (very very difficult to do -ask me how I know), and the other way is to leave and let the partner founder until they figure out THEY are in fact the problem. Few narcissists will own their crap. That’s why they are narcissists in the first place.

Pain is the best teacher to a narcissist, however brutal because pain is familiar and provides a certain comfort.

Some people are truly terrified at the prospect of healing their pain.

i was very sweet and caring. But i found when i revealed my feelings for them girls woulld be turned off. When i became more narcisstic and not caring girls became more attracted so i did more of what worked until what i loved got lost in front of me.

 

[Velasco]

. I said some hurtful **** and now she’s blocked me. I just want her back man.

Only have yourself to blame for ignoring me. In through one ear, out the other

 

[BeExcellent]

i was very sweet and caring. But i found when i revealed my feelings for them girls woulld be turned off. When i became more narcisstic and not caring girls became more attracted so i did more of what worked until what i loved got lost in front of me.

There is a balance. It is one that men often lose track of when they fall in love. The man must always lead. He must have solid inner game. You can’t suddenly become needy & clingy or vascillate between ass hole and needy. What that does is reveal insecurity. Insecurity will run women off. Especially if it comes to the fore later, when you’ve already convinced her (or tried to convince her) that you are not insecure.

If you are leading at your core you can be very loving. But your core must be congruent, not an act. Narcissism is always an act. In time good women see through it.

 

[Lordeterra]

There is a balance. It is one that men often lose track of when they fall in love. The man must always lead. He must have solid inner game. You can’t suddenly become needy & clingy or vascillate between ass hole and needy. What that does is reveal insecurity. Insecurity will run women off. Especially if it comes to the fore later, when you’ve already convinced her (or tried to convince her) that you are not insecure.

If you are leading at your core you can be very loving. But your core must be congruent, not an act. Narcissism is always an act. In time good women see through it.

True. I’m sure she still wants me as she just messaged me I realized how sh1tty you treated me the past 7 months but yet here I am. What am I doing here? I did fvck her amazing

 

[BeExcellent]

True. I’m sure she still wants me as she just messaged me I realized how sh1tty you treated me the past 7 months but yet here I am. What am I doing here? I did fvck her amazing

Well. What you may have is an opportunity. Be reflective. Look in the mirror at yourself. Own your shjt. Obviously there are things in your interaction that have bonded her to you and vice versa. The things that have bonded her you need to continue...but you also need to exhibit kindness and caring too. Show her kindness & caring. There are ennumerable ways to do this.

Just last weekend I was with someone who I care for & who cares for me. We were watching horse races & I enjoy betting. He gave me $100 and said “Bet the horses & enjoy yourself”. Later we were at Target getting some chips for a dinner party. He wandered through the ladies section & picked out some cute black panties he wanted to see me in and a pair of casual pants. He bought them for me. Totally unexpected.

He does these things spontaneously because he loves me. In these ways he shows me through action and investment his heart.

Find ways in alignment with who you are to show your heart.

But you don’t start there right now. Right now you get her to spend time with you, fvck her properly and then show her some kindness after. You hold frame and you lead. But you back off the ass hole ness.

 

[Lordeterra]

Well. What you may have is an opportunity. Be reflective. Look in the mirror at yourself. Own your shjt. Obviously there are things in your interaction that have bonded her to you and vice versa. The things that have bonded her you need to continue...but you also need to exhibit kindness and caring too. Show her kindness & caring. There are ennumerable ways to do this.

Just last weekend I was with someone who I care for & who cares for me. We were watching horse races & I enjoy betting. He gave me $100 and said “Bet the horses & enjoy yourself”. Later we were at Target getting some chips for a dinner party. He wandered through the ladies section & picked out some cute black panties he wanted to see me in and a pair of casual pants. He bought them for me. Totally unexpected.

He does these things spontaneously because he loves me. In these ways he shows me through action and investment his heart.

Find ways in alignment with who you are to show your heart.

But you don’t start there right now. Right now you get her to spend time with you, fvck her properly and then show her some kindness after. You hold frame and you lead. But you back off the ass hole ness.

She seems pretty settled down with her new bf. Every time I mention sex she steers the Convo way. I’m going to let it breathe. I know I can **** her

 

[BeExcellent]

She seems pretty settled down with her new bf. Every time I mention sex she steers the Convo way. I’m going to let it breathe. I know I can **** her

Time. Sometimes you just need time. You do to get perspective. You may find you no longer desire her after some time passes. And time will help her sort out how she feels too.

Keep doing your thing. Every day you’ll feel a bit better.

 

[returnofpigman]

Which I did but I truly cared for her. Looking back I was awful to her and she wanted a man who was lovey dovey with her. But in the past when I did that I got dumped so now I’m never like that. Now she chose a guy who’s poor and skinny. She wanted to be exclusive with me which basically means she wanted a relationship but didn’t want to scare me off by saying that. She would cook for me clean my room fold my clothes and let me tuck her whenever and plead PLEAD to give me head while I work and drive. Now she doesn’t want to fvck anymore. I was the indifferent d1cj and now I really miss her bros. Am I just acting g4y and should I just **** new girls.

You gotta let her go. She found some scrawny dude that fast? Did he just fall out of the sky? Erase her from your head by finding more women and erase her from your life by deleting her number, texts, online attachment, etc. You gotta go back to indifference. See what happens when you don’t maintain the frame? Learn from it and upgrade to an 8+.

 

[Lordeterra]

You gotta let her go. She found some scrawny dude that fast? Did he just fall out of the sky? Erase her from your head by finding more women and erase her from your life by deleting her number, texts, online attachment, etc. You gotta go back to indifference. See what happens when you don’t maintain the frame? Learn from it and upgrade to an 8+.

I’m having a theeesome this week along with seeing 3 more girls I’m over her rn and I can tell she knows I don’t care anymore so she’s chasing back xD

 

[returnofpigman]

I’m having a theeesome this week along with seeing 3 more girls I’m over her rn and I can tell she knows I don’t care anymore so she’s chasing back xD

And that is how you do it. Good job.

 

[Lookatu]

Im in pain bros. I actually cared about her. We all talk about fucjing bitches and I have done that but my heart is killing me right now....

I’m having a theeesome this week along with seeing 3 more girls I’m over her rn and I can tell she knows I don’t care anymore so she’s chasing back xD

Sounds very inconsistent and sounds like you're using sex with others to cope with this. This is really a band aid and a mirage at best. Sooner or later, you're gonna have to come to grips with this and work on yourself rather than using distractions to mask it. Otherwise, you'll be empty for the rest of your life until you do. My $.02

 

[returnofpigman]

I vote for bang out the pain. An efficient cure for one-sided oneitis

 

[Lordeterra]

Sounds very inconsistent and sounds like you're using sex with others to cope with this. This is really a band aid and a mirage at best. Sooner or later, you're gonna have to come to grips with this and work on yourself rather than using distractions to mask it. Otherwise, you'll be empty for the rest of your life until you do. My $.02

i hate her. Ive been with girls way hotter than her but she has such an emotional impact on me it pisses me off. I want my cold self that just wants fun and winning.

 

[Lookatu]

i hate how she makes me feel now. Ive been with girls way hotter than her but she has such an emotional impact on me it pisses me off. I want my cold self that just wants fun and winning.

FIFY...

 

[Lordeterra]

Three months from now, you won't even remember this chick's name.

i agree man. Im shredded and on my way to making a lot of money and im only 25 with a lot of girls wanting me (no brag) but this one chick makes me feel attached. ****.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Sounds very inconsistent and sounds like you're using sex with others to cope with this. This is really a band aid and a mirage at best. Sooner or later, you're gonna have to come to grips with this and work on yourself rather than using distractions to mask it. Otherwise, you'll be empty for the rest of your life until you do. My $.02

OP seems to have a lot of work to do on himself. His belief system is born out of fear. He is afraid to let anyone close to avoid being hurt.

But if are unwilling to allow yourself to be vulnerable then at some point the relationship cannot move past a very rudimentary stage.

You have very limiting beliefs, you need to work on changing them or else this will just continue to repeat with other women.

 

[Chamber36]

Just stay in contact and ask her to come over freshly waxed or in some kinky getup. If she says no just carry on.

You said you wanted to keep her at a distance, so let her roam. She didnt disrespect you in public or anything. It's a learning curve. You are still in the game anyway, just keep it easygoing and dont get wound up. Its all a ****test. Subconsciously done of course. You dont care anyways. You can pee on another one.