FWB acting.. Different...

[Korrupt]

Met this girl like 3 or so months ago, had one actual date, then sex at her place the second time we hung out. We agreed to keep our "relationship" light. She'd hit me up frequently but not too much, and 90% of the time when I'd ask her to hang out she'd be down, even if she was busy with something. Recently she moved and has been a bit more flakey.

A couple weeks ago I asked her to hang out (she was in the process of moving) and she told me maybe, then hit me up again later that day saying she was exhausted and was going to crash early. Fair enough. A few days later she hits me up asking to help her move some sh*t with her friends. I help, meet her friends, ect, ect.. Pretty cool people and it's not a bad time, plus some amazing sex at the end of the day. All's good. Then no contact either way for five days till I hit her up today asking how things are and if she wants to chill and celebrate labor day & her new place with a bottle of wine tomorrow night. She gives me "maybe baby. I might be going to V.A for a couple days, but that does sound lovely." I want to give her the benefit of the doubt since she just moved and might be busy, but at the same time this behavior urks me.

Thoughts?

 

[st_99]

Well, your gut is usually right and so problems are on the horizon (another guy 90% probable). BUT, you're calling it a FWB situation but you're concerned like she is your "girlfriend"

Not much you can do but just chill out, relax and let the chips fall where they may.

 

[Korrupt]

It's funny how things work.. One-two months ago it was obvious she was more into me than I was into her. Sexual and lovey-dovey texts, hanging out twice a week or so, her wanting to hang out even after a hard day at work or when she was busy with something else; she was a sure thing so to speak - dependable. Now when my classes start back up and I have more stress and would like something a bit more steady I'm getting "maybes" and extremely little contact from her.

 

[st_99]

No worries, you're so young you're going to go through this about 1000 more times although maybe not because your being educated and so will probably be DJ a lot sooner than the late bloomers.

 

[Sue Madre]

You are not the only one in it. That's why she is acting like that.

 

[Korrupt]

I'm feeling jealous, pissed off and am tempted to delete her number..

 

[Sue Madre]

I'm feeling jealous, pissed off and am tempted to delete her number..

Dump her. She is probably horing around. You really are willing to share your p/ssy?

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Get more girls, Why are you so concerned? FWB only lasts until the girl finds another dude. Charge her a$$ to the game.

 

[Korrupt]

Get more girls, Why are you so concerned? FWB only lasts until the girl finds another dude. Charge her a$$ to the game.

Because the story of my dating life has been this.. The girls I'm not that interested in love me, while the girls I actually like/start to like do sh*t like this. Disappointing.

I deleted her number.

 

[Sue Madre]

Because the story of my dating life has been this.. The girls I'm not that interested in love me, while the girls I actually like/start to like do sh*t like this. Disappointing.

I deleted her number.

I take it back. Don't dump her. Just go silent and make her think WTF. See what happens. Don't reply when she contacts.

 

[Korrupt]

Funny thing is there hadn't been any games, bullsh!t, or dishonesty before this whole moving situation. Everything was just straight, cool, and light. She'd keep saying how there's "this crazy attraction between us," and even a month ago said something along the lines of how she was happy with her life and our "situation" so she didn't feel the need to see anyone else, but I could if I wanted to. Sh*t, she's bi and wasn't just willing to have a threesome, but actually wanted to!

Only thing that could have put her off was a couple weeks ago when I had a problem "performing" (stress and personal problems), but after our awesome night on Tuesday I figured I had made up for it and wouldn't have the problems that I'm currently having with her.

And one HUGE problem with me that I've realized is that I'm attracted to drama like this. It pulls me in and makes me want to see the girl 10x more instead of making me feel the opposite.

 

[Sue Madre]

Funny thing is there hadn't been any games, bullsh!t, or dishonesty before this whole moving situation. Everything was just straight, cool, and light. She'd keep saying how there's "this crazy attraction between us," and even a month ago said something along the lines of how she was happy with her life and our "situation" so she didn't feel the need to see anyone else, but I could if I wanted to. Sh*t, she's bi and wasn't just willing to have a threesome, but actually wanted to!

Only thing that could have put her off was a couple weeks ago when I had a problem "performing" (stress and personal problems), but after our awesome night on Tuesday I figured I had made up for it and wouldn't have the problems that I'm currently having with her.

And one HUGE problem with me that I've realized is that I'm attracted to drama like this. It pulls me in and makes me want to see the girl 10x more instead of making me feel the opposite.

Don't let a hor mess with your head. Get more women and keep playing the field. A real woman would want only YOU after you bang. you are dealing with a hor. They are not worth it.

 

[Korrupt]

She at least had enough respect to get back to me about tonight. She said she didn't leave town, but a friend of a friend died, so she's going to hang out with and try to console that friend. I just put the ball in her court..

 

[movistar]

This is one of those situations where you just pull back play aloof, date other chicks, be up beat when they call, but be less available.

I know how you feel you really want her right now, all her flaws seem to dissappear when they pull this, detached card. You may of thought her nose was too big, but now you love her nose. You simply want her cause she is pulling away. If you want any possibility of getting her attention back, you've got to pull away.

I've been there, going through it now, once you get someone else decent to have secks with you'll be good.

 

[pdx1138]

you absolutely cannot fall for FWBs.

I've been there & done that.

You have to compartmentalize the situation if you want to keep it going.
Free lays are nice but you gotta keep it at the non-girlfriend level & realize she is likely getting it from others/and be prepared to lose the option with her if she finds someone more permanent.

 

[JCballin88]

This is one of those situations where you just pull back play aloof, date other chicks, be up beat when they call, but be less available.

I know how you feel you really want her right now, all her flaws seem to dissappear when they pull this, detached card. You may of thought her nose was too big, but now you love her nose. You simply want her cause she is pulling away. If you want any possibility of getting her attention back, you've got to pull away.

I've been there, going through it now, once you get someone else decent to have secks with you'll be good.

This is great advice - I was drawn to this thread because I'm also going through something quite similar (see thread):
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=187389&highlight=summer+fling+ending

Anyways, this chick really wasn't anything super-special, but because I pretty much fell into a one-itis trap, when she pulled away I went sorta crazy for her. Fortunately I did start a no-contact thing which helped.

I was just going through the book of Pook again, and towards the end of his "15 lessons" thing there is a section more-or-less about this. It says that when you don't have a back-up chick, you will start caring way too much about a girl that may only be minimally interested in you. You start acting like you're in a "marriage" which ultimately pushes her away even more.

I guess the bottom line is to get your butt out there and keep meeting new ones!

 

[Korrupt]

Obvious but good advice.

"Get out and see more girls."

The thing is, it was easy to make time during summer when I had nothing to do, but now it's much more difficult with classes, homework, the gym, stress, being tired, ect.. Though I'm still going to try. Hopefully a new one I set up a date with for tomorrow won't flake.

Update on the situation. I put the ball in her court last night, and this morning she contacted me asking what my schedule was for today. Told her I had classes and the gym but tonight was good. F*cking five hours later she gets back to me saying she's having people over to help her get her new place in order, but "maybe later." Lmao. Another maybe. I just told her I wouldn't be outta the gym till late anyways and to text me. Never had this flakey crap in 3 months of "seeing each-other" till 2 weeks ago. Definitely need to find a second girl.

 

[Johnnyventana]

"And one HUGE problem with me that I've realized is that I'm attracted to drama like this. It pulls me in and makes me want to see the girl 10x more instead of making me feel the opposite." You said it yourself Korrupt.

Sometimes we react, when we should just go away for a bit, chill, and regroup.

Funny thing is, they always seems to notice and usually come back for their attention supply. Makes sense, kind of. She says 'maybe' and sees you super want to, she then knows that she's got you hooked. It's her game. Her timetable. But if you don't react like she expects, and don't chase, well then you are intriguing.

Chicks yo!