Fvck, man. I can't seem to get past talking to her.

[Yuma]

I made a post yesterday about this girl and going out in groups and whatnot. I asked about how to get the girl away from the group. That worked, but it wound up being with a different girl who now wants to date me. :/ But, whatever. she kisses like she gives a mean bl0wj0b.

This other girl, though, we'll refer to her as HB8, I can't seem to get past the talking. We can flirt and she can show all the signs of attraction, but whenever we talk about hanging out, she always seems to not really care. and that's kind of disarming. I'm not exactly used to that. We were out drinking with some friends of mine last night and I had my guitar. I started singing Change the World from Clapton and she's really into it. At one point, she was looking at me and running her tongue ring over her lips and smiling. I thought I was losing the game at first, but the guitar got me back up to standards, ya know?

Here's the thing. She shows interest, I show interest, but whenever we're out it's always with people and dude's are always hanging on her. And it kinda pisses me off.

I want to get past all this stuff and take her out so I can cement something, but I'm feeling a bit retarded and don't know how to get that.

Help?

 

[Yuma]

bump.

some advice or even a kick in the ass would be appreciated. thanks, guys.

 

[Interceptor]

Yuma, you're following her, when you should be leading.
While it is true that you may feel her aloofness or apathy is disheartening, what you have to realize if it's real, or unintentional, or not even related to you personally.

The only way you can do that is get her to agree to a time and date and go and pick her up and get together the two of you alone.

That way you can find out more information about her.


Also, understand that she may be showing some attraction, maybe affection, some curiosity...but not interest.If she were comfortable showing Interest, she would be with you. She would make an effort to be with you.

Your situation is a common one. The woman goes hot and cold. Which is confusing to the guy that follows a woman's mood. But you have to go after what you want.
And honestly, this may actually simply mean she's not into you.
And you have to be comfortable and at Peace with that.

You may think she's hot, and think you're getting her all worked up and she may not even be considering you any more than some dude she happens to know...certainly no lover.

But you have to take the steps. Put yourself out there and be vulnerable.
Men think that women perceive these things the same way as Men do.
But they dont.
Theyre actually attracted to the Strength and Confidence it takes for a Man to put himself out there and take the steps to show his attraction AND interest in her. They WANT that. Always remember that.
We dont TALK about it.
We simply show them.



Dont back down if she isnt somehow cheering you on or isnt all over you.
These are all things men have to go through so you begin to really intuit what is going on with her.
But a mistake we often make is we pull the plug when she (might be feigning)shows disinterest. We back off.
Do the opposite.Keep moving forward.

Maybe MOST guys she deals with do the SAME DAMN THING.
And she is so used to guys pulling the plug that she stops caring at that point.
Remember, we have to get comfortable enough with ourselves and women's sexuality that we lead and escalate.
Dont be ashamed or embarassed on doing what is Masculine and NATURAL.

And you cannot live your life following her moods.
It wont work that way. Ever.
Now, if on the date she is not pulling her weight and not making it fun for you too, then you have a better idea of how she is feeling about you.
And even if she is into you, but isnt showing it...oh well.....see ya later...she had her chance and she blew it....SHE failed to deploy here...not YOU. Move on to someone ready to actually BE with a real Man, not just show off her 'attraction' to the crowds.

But YOU must do the leading.
Dont FOLLOW Her.

I hope this helps.

 

[Yuma]

Hell yeah. Great post and thanks for the information.

I'm gonna keep pushing forward with this. I was thinking about backing off for a bit (kinda like ganji, but not as intense or severe), but I like what you're saying more.

I was walking with her from our cafeteria on campus earlier today and we were all talking about what we're doing tonight. I mentioned that I was probably gonna go to the movies and in the most cvnt-like way she said 'yeah. have fun with that.' I was kinda taken aback, so i just looked at her smiled and said thanks. I didn't know what else to say.

 

[MisterMcGee]

Yeah anyone whose read my posts knows I dealt with this. A hot/cold girl. I bring up us going out and give her a time etc, and she goes cold and coy like it's the last thing she'd want to be talking about.
I really did feel she was into me, and then she nervously said "can we stay like how we are?" as an attempt to make things 'normal' again for her. It was then I decided: forget it.
If she DOES have some interest or attraction, it doesn't matter because, if she's never gonna go out w/ me, then it doesn't affect me nor my life. If she expects me to keep persisting to prove that I care and am not just looking for a dramatic fling, fvck that because it's not worth my energy to simply get a 1st date.

I did my part - I took initiative and asked her out and I didn't back down until she gave me a reason to lose lots of the interest i had in her. Since I already made my move, if she's into me, then she needs to show me that she's worth my time. If she likes me, then she needs to know that I WILL move on if she tries to waste my time. So she's gonna have to try harder and make my efforts worth my time, or else she's gonna lose me.

Of course, she probably wasn't into me.

 

[Yuma]

Thanks, man!

I'm glad to know someone with similar experience can offer good advice. Yeah, like I told Interceptor, I'm gonna keep going forward for a little bit, but I'm not trying to waste my time.

She's only one woman out of billions in the world. Nothing worth worrying about. At the very least, I need to start having fun with it.

 

[jdjd]

yuma, im actually in the same boat as you...this girl im talking to...samething...in college same class...shows all the signs of attraction...and etc....very friendly...and what not....asked her out a few times...got turned down by excuses? whether its real or not? i dont think it matters...really....i think she just wants to be friends...

im going to push on a bit more and confront her a bit and then drop her if i dont get my answer...

life is too short to be hung over 1 girl....whether she is HB10 or whatever...

cant wait till monday...