Rudra said:
Izza, I see what you are getting at... I´ve been doing that myself for some time, like sabotating myself while dating to focus on my game and only my game. I mean, like dressing shytty or not washing your hair before dating to be extra sure it was not your appearance what bagged the girl, if you succeed, but ONLY your game. That´s like putting on a weight jacket when running or giving your opponent at chess some pieces in advance. It´s a funny learning experience, everbody should try it some time... Dress like a moron and try to get the bytch only by spitting massive game at her.
But basically it is BS. It gives you nothing and leads you nowhere.
Attraction to your physique is part of the game. You cannot play the game without it because it is essential. In evolutionary terms, it gives lots of information to chicks (BTW never understood why fat isn´t attractive in evolutionary terms... fat means that you are alpha because the betas have to feed you and feed you more than enough while you can sit on your ace and do nothing... not true? =))))
So not trying to get your physique into the best of shapes is just blowing up your own game. It gives you nothing. It is like driving your car with only three wheels. You can prove how masterful you know how to drive on three wheels and not crash that car of yours... but what´s the point?
This is one of my favorite posts so far. I like the way you think, and the point you're getting at and the questions you ask.
Basically, I love your post. I'll do my best to respond to your questions. Again, I'm only speaking for myself here.
The idea of weight lifting must seem so strange to an alien. We live in a wondrous, vast world of life and beauty. Yet we go to a closed off room, we take heavy objects from their proper resting place. We move those heavy objects around, up and down, back and forth, in strange bodily positions. What an odd ritual.
The point is to use weights to increase the strength of our muscles. Our muscles get so much stronger for having weights there.
This is all well and good. I don't like lifting weights personally, but you enjoy it, I see nothing wrong with that.
Now I used to lift weights to attract women with my body. I'm not saying this doesn't work.
What I am doing in my life is a different kind of weight-training. I guess you could call it personality-training. The goal is to make my personality stronger, which obviously has effects that go beyond improving game. But if it improves my game, that's great too.
The point isn't to get one particular girl, but to keep improving my game. That is the muscle I want to exercise.
For me, personally, if a girl wants me for my body, I guess I don't mind. But at the same time, I don't take that as much of a compliment. What if I were paralyzed from the neck down. I suppose a lot of people would say "Goodbye to HB10s." Personally, I would say, "whoever I date should like me for who I am, no matter how beautiful she is." (Alex was kind enough to point out that I should judge women more on their personality, he's right. My assumption for now is that it's more than possible to get women armed with little but a great personality.)
What I really like is when a girl likes me for who I am, for my personality. Or even for the way I measure my floss on my arm or always miss this one spot on my back when I dry myself with a towel.
I guess what saying or at least trying to say is that being out of shape is a great opportunity to exercise the only muscle that really matters for me.
If I was an Adonis, I wouldn't need much personality to get women. Women would be interested in my body, they would just want to know I wasn't an axe-murderer, then I'd be in. It wouldn't take much to sell the girl, or at least, it would take a lot less.
If I'm a regular guy, I'm going to need a lot more personality to sell the girl, right? If I'm a guy in a wheelchair, or kinda fat, I'm going to need a whole hell of a lot to get women. Of course, some will say no outright, but that's ok. If I'm a guy in a wheelchair, some very pretty women will say yes, if I have an amazing personality. That's just the way I imagine it, but I think there is some truth to that.
So I guess I am saying that for me, I don't like the idea of working out to get women, because I think looking better impedes the development of true skill. And like I said, I want to attract a woman with my mind, not my body.
You're right that there will always be some element of both in there. And later on, in an LTR, I would hope she is attracted to both my body and mind, not just my mind.
When I was working out, I was using development of muscles as a crutch for my underdeveloped of personality. Ultimately, I was not improving my skills, I was improving my looks.
Looks work. The problem is, looks can go away far more easily than my mind can. Sure I would love to keep working out and looking great into my 90s. Sometimes, illnesses or car accidents or other things get in the way.
An Adonis at that point has nothing. He has nothing left, and no reason for women to love him.
I tell you almost anything can happen to me except brain damage, and I will still be macking the ladies.
I see developing my personality as a sort of insurance policy against life. A personality is a muscle that only very few things can take away.
Also, I look around me and I see bulky looking men everywhere. That's because anybody can go to the gym. I don't meet many people with personalities so powerful that they seem to give off a bright light from their head.
I see nothing wrong with working out for itself. Ultimately, I want to be both healthy and have a great personality. I would love to be the whole package, and I don't think we have to choose between looks and personality.
I have chosen in my life to pursue the strengthening of my personality right now. That may be through wearing an eye patch, letting my hair and beard grow. And yeah, I'm gaining a bit of weight. I'm getting there, but I don't look like a bear yet.
So I would disagree with you that by forgetting fitness and wearing an eye patch and ragged clothes, I am blowing up my game. All I am blowing up is any advantage I could have from physical attraction. Either the girl is less attracted to me. Or she is actively disgusted by my looks. Either is fine with me. My *game* as a whole is far from blown up. My game is stronger, because my personality has to fill in the difference.
That is the kind of fitness I am looking for.
I am considering joining a gym for myself. But I feel that developing my personality is more important for me right now than developing muscles. So long as I get some exercise here and there and aren't hurting my health down the road, I am content with that for now.
But you know, that's just me and the way I see it. If you like fitness, I really think that's fabulous. I feel you could probably improve your game more by letting the idea of attracting a woman with your body go. But that's just me, and I trust your judgment for your life more than I trust my judgment for your life!
Izza
