Further invitation irritation

[JohnJones]

This is a minor rant premised in part on a prior thread about my g/f half-as*ed invite to her reunion.

She has a wierd habit of asking me to do things (often via e-mail) and then if I don't jump on them right away (like within 1/2 hour) she tells me that its no big deal if I go or not, etc.

You would think that after 6 mos. of intense physical relationship some of her insecurities about putting herself out there would go away, wouldn't you?

 

[32swf]

nope

Just because your girl is getting regular booty, doesn't automatically mean her insecurities will just go away.
It's either her issues (from past relationships), OR it's because of something you're either doing or not doing. Do you wait until the last minutes to tell her you'll do something with her? Do you ask her out on dates, or just "hang out"? Do you hang out with her in a group of your/her friends, or is it always the 2 of you? There could be many reasons for her insecure behavior.

If someone asks you to do something in a half a$$ed way, it's probably because they're assuming that you don't want to go. So they're saving themself from rejection by not "officially" inviting you.

 

[JohnJones]

That's fair. I have gotten into an interesting situation where she asks literally 7 out of 8 times (every two months or so I ask her to do something). We go on dates but she assumes that we will get together to do something (and she doesn't really care what).

Actually, I am more worried about getting bored than she is (rather, I thing it is possible that she will get bored even if she doesn't see it coming)

 

[JohnJones]

Eventually, people show you how much their selfishness gets in the way.

I am going out of town for Thanksgiving (5 hour drive). She invited me to her parents for Thanksgiving and I declined because I have some family obligations.

She has this reunion on the following Saturday that I did get a formal invite to go to, but it was full of explanations as to why she had not invited me before (all of which said to me I should just let it be).

So she asked if I wanted to do something on Friday between (i.e., she knows I have no weekend plans here and wanted me to drive all the way back so she wouldn't be bored between Thanksgiving and the party I am not really invited to).

Now she's in a minor snit about me declining the Friday get-together.

 

[drixsa]

if it were me id be rid of a girl causing me so much grief

you 2 are only dating correct?

this is supposed to be the fun part

marrige is where you are supposed to suffer

the question now become why are you dating her?

 

[JohnJones]

Because she'd be perfect (realistically) if she would calm down a little.

She asks me out, comes to my place, plans great dates, has s3x a lot, compliments me on it unbelievably, gets drunk and has fun, confesses her love/desire/affection, etc., brings up kinky (for her) s3x on her own, then leaves if I have anything to do the next day. She tries to keep it even on who pays.

On the other hand, she's wilful, wicked smart, and confident in her own right (i.e., enough her own person to be cool and for me to respect).

 

[drixsa]

Originally posted by JohnJones
Because she'd be perfect (realistically) if she would calm down a little.

She asks me out, comes to my place, plans great dates, has s3x a lot, compliments me on it unbelievably, gets drunk and has fun, confesses her love/desire/affection, etc., brings up kinky (for her) s3x on her own, then leaves if I have anything to do the next day. She tries to keep it even on who pays.

On the other hand, she's wilful, wicked smart, and confident in her own right (i.e., enough her own person to be cool and for me to respect).

what?

 

[chlywly]

Everyone has their insecurities, and they don't go away so easily, just have patience.

 

[myfriendblu]

Originally posted by JohnJones
Because she'd be perfect (realistically) if she would calm down a little.

She asks me out, comes to my place, plans great dates, has s3x a lot, compliments me on it unbelievably, gets drunk and has fun, confesses her love/desire/affection, etc., brings up kinky (for her) s3x on her own, then leaves if I have anything to do the next day. She tries to keep it even on who pays.

On the other hand, she's wilful, wicked smart, and confident in her own right (i.e., enough her own person to be cool and for me to respect).

JJ, I know your relationship, and the type of girl your dating, already, from your first post, and this even further justifies my thoughts. I have dated a girl just like this before. Nearly exactly.

1. pretty dam good looking ( 8+)
2. Sorta makes alot of decisions, decisive
3. Kinda a center of attnetion type persona, but not a full fledged attention whor
4. Emotional, yet just a tad bit distant at times. Kinda a bit guarded.
5. Good looking and charasmatic enough to get a majority of men

Man, dated the EXACT same type of girl you dated. Needless to say, it didn't end all that well. i have got a feeling your headed down the same path.

 

[JohnJones]

blu:

I don't want to be disloyal to her, but she's not that good looking (and definately not good looking enough to get a majority of men). Most guys regard her as the "One of the Guys" girl and she is never remote (the joke we have is that she is an open book, that I know too much about how she thinks, feels, etc.).

If anything, I have been too guarded and poker faced (outside of intimate times).