funny story just to crack you guys up...

[realsmoothie]

OK so I go to the bar tonight and FINALLY pick a chick up...

we go back to her place and she busts out her guitar and starts with the singer-songwriter stuff... it's actually not bad, I'm impressed with it.

We start making out on her bed. I'm pretty psyched, it's been a while since I've gotten any... but it's 4:30 and I'm drunk as heck so my weenie is less than co-operative. She volunteers to "help out" and goes down on me... after I laugh for a bit it actually helps and I'm getting hard FINALLY... (after like 1/2 hour of this crap)...

...so we're having this weird coversation... she's like "I really like you, you turn me on so bad" yadda yadda, I'm finally hard (woo hoo) and I'm like "OK I'm busting out the rubber" she's like YEAH LET'S DO THIS (Leroy Jenkins style) and in my haste I blow a tire on the edge of the bed and bail into her guitar.

I'm sitting there like WTF my hand is all slippery.. she turns on the light and there's blood all over the guitar. I've ripped my middle finger nail RIGHT OFF on the guitar chord... there's blood all over the place. I almost barf at the insanity of it... from poontang to hospital waiting room, in two seconds.

Being Canada, the hospital takes like 1/2 and hour and doesn't cost me crap. The cool doctor jams my nail back into my nail bed (OUCH) and gives me drugs, we're done.

LOL, "American Pie" worthy stuff. The girl is all about me and even wanted to come to the hospital. So there's fun there. But I can't even believe how ridiculous this situation is... I'd consider it embarrassing if the girl herself wasn't so apologetic.

 

[MacAvoy]

HAHA that is a funny story. Just be glad you didn't get to the hospital and didn't have to wait 4 hours. You got lucky there wasn't a long emerg line up (the bad thing about free health care - long line ups)

 

[aliasguy]

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Funny story.

He put the nail BACK ON???? Really? Never heard of that one before.

No wonder it was "free."

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[realsmoothie]

sorry... it actually wasn't all the way off... but it got torn from the back end so he froze it then stuffed the nail back UNDER the skin.

Needless to say... I didn't watch! And now I've got this big white bandage over my middle finger.

Oh... did I mention that I work with this girl? LOL! Good thing she has a sense of humour.

Never drinking again.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Aawww. Hahaha GAME OVER!

Hopefully you guys will go out again? You have 9 good fingernails left..

Don't blow it!

 

[[S]alvatore]

Ahahahahahaha

 

[Dongfu]

Thats not that funny. That's pretty fvcked bro. So much for finger bangin her with that finger for a while.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Haha, Imagine if it was your penis that bore the brunt of your misfortune - and you trying to explain that to your doctor!

Realsmoothie: "Yeah doc, my penis got caught on some guitar strings"

Doctor: "Don't tell me anymore kid, I'm trying to concentrate on putting your penis back together without laughing."

 

[realsmoothie]

Just to twist the convo a bit...

...I am kind of kicking myself on this one. We just hired this girl, and "technically" I'm her boss. She really likes me and actually she seems much cooler than I initially gave her credit for.

My motto has been "no company ink" for a long time... but man, this sucks! The best (worst) part is that our staff party is on Wednesday. Uh oh! And the rest of our staff, which is tiny, now knows.

Ugh!

 

[MacAvoy]

You went this far, you might as go all the way and close the deal on Wednesday. However I've never really slept with a subordinate, only do it if you can handle the situation afterwards.

It might get messy. Can you imagine if she was pissed at you, then spread around the office that you couldn't get it up?

 

[TheLadiesMan]

LOL! PWNED!

You should have bounced up and said "DID YOU CATCH THAT RIFFAGE, FVCKING TASTY!"?!?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mzPflzStek