realsmoothie
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 30, 2006
- Messages
- 1,064
- Reaction score
- 9
OK so I go to the bar tonight and FINALLY pick a chick up...
we go back to her place and she busts out her guitar and starts with the singer-songwriter stuff... it's actually not bad, I'm impressed with it.
We start making out on her bed. I'm pretty psyched, it's been a while since I've gotten any... but it's 4:30 and I'm drunk as heck so my weenie is less than co-operative. She volunteers to "help out" and goes down on me... after I laugh for a bit it actually helps and I'm getting hard FINALLY... (after like 1/2 hour of this crap)...
...so we're having this weird coversation... she's like "I really like you, you turn me on so bad" yadda yadda, I'm finally hard (woo hoo) and I'm like "OK I'm busting out the rubber" she's like YEAH LET'S DO THIS (Leroy Jenkins style) and in my haste I blow a tire on the edge of the bed and bail into her guitar.
I'm sitting there like WTF my hand is all slippery.. she turns on the light and there's blood all over the guitar. I've ripped my middle finger nail RIGHT OFF on the guitar chord... there's blood all over the place. I almost barf at the insanity of it... from poontang to hospital waiting room, in two seconds.
Being Canada, the hospital takes like 1/2 and hour and doesn't cost me crap. The cool doctor jams my nail back into my nail bed (OUCH) and gives me drugs, we're done.
LOL, "American Pie" worthy stuff. The girl is all about me and even wanted to come to the hospital. So there's fun there. But I can't even believe how ridiculous this situation is... I'd consider it embarrassing if the girl herself wasn't so apologetic.
we go back to her place and she busts out her guitar and starts with the singer-songwriter stuff... it's actually not bad, I'm impressed with it.
We start making out on her bed. I'm pretty psyched, it's been a while since I've gotten any... but it's 4:30 and I'm drunk as heck so my weenie is less than co-operative. She volunteers to "help out" and goes down on me... after I laugh for a bit it actually helps and I'm getting hard FINALLY... (after like 1/2 hour of this crap)...
...so we're having this weird coversation... she's like "I really like you, you turn me on so bad" yadda yadda, I'm finally hard (woo hoo) and I'm like "OK I'm busting out the rubber" she's like YEAH LET'S DO THIS (Leroy Jenkins style) and in my haste I blow a tire on the edge of the bed and bail into her guitar.
I'm sitting there like WTF my hand is all slippery.. she turns on the light and there's blood all over the guitar. I've ripped my middle finger nail RIGHT OFF on the guitar chord... there's blood all over the place. I almost barf at the insanity of it... from poontang to hospital waiting room, in two seconds.
Being Canada, the hospital takes like 1/2 and hour and doesn't cost me crap. The cool doctor jams my nail back into my nail bed (OUCH) and gives me drugs, we're done.
LOL, "American Pie" worthy stuff. The girl is all about me and even wanted to come to the hospital. So there's fun there. But I can't even believe how ridiculous this situation is... I'd consider it embarrassing if the girl herself wasn't so apologetic.
