Funny lines and a great convo opener! This should break ice!

nismo-4

Moderator
Joined
Jan 31, 2005
Messages
4,422
Reaction score
1,128
Location
From New Orleans, Louisiana to Atlanta, Georgia!!!
ALL RISE! COURT IS NOW IN SESSION! THE HONORABLE JUDGE NISMO-4 PRESIDING! YOU MAY BE SEATED.

When using these lines, never look for a reaction or wait for her to laugh. The key to delivering a funny line is to say it nonchalently, even looking away quickly while you're saying it. The point of these kinds of lines is to make her LAUGH...Not insult her. So when you understand the attitude and come up with your own, make sure that they end up making the woman laugh.

“Are you always like this, or just with guys that you're attracted to?”
“I'm SO out of your league”
“We need to find you a man. He seems your type.” (Point to a dork)
“Is she ALWAYS like this?”
“You keep making these funny facial expressions”
“Don't get your hopes up. I'm not that easy.”
“It's tough to be such a sex symbol”
“Take it slow now. I don't want to get hurt!” (Said with a ****y smile)
“Stop undressing me with your eyes...”
“Look, I'm not going home with you tonight”
“You know, we would argue all the time...and I would always win”
“I'm tired of girls looking at me like an object. I have feelings!”
“You owe me $50 for making you look cool in front of all these girls ”
“Did you forget to take your medication today?”
“You don't get out much, do you?”
“You're back to square one with me, missy”
“Oh my God, you're SO embarrassing!”
“Have you been drinking again?”
“You shouldn't be let out unsupervised”
“You are a total... DORK.”
“If I wasn't here, I'd say you were the sexiest person in the room”
“I know you're trying to get me drunk so you can try to seduce me...”
“Take it easy, I just met you. You girls only have one track minds...”
“Hey, behave! No dirty talk this early. You're gonna have to EARN it”
“I'm going to get a restraining order if you keep hitting on me”
“Everyone's looking at you. They're jealous of you being next to me.”
“You haven't even bought me dinner. I need to be wined and dined.”
“Were you just checking out my ass? You girls are sexual predators!”

These kinds of arrogant yet funny phrases are POWERFUL and will give you results that will seem like magic. Women will laugh and start talking to you more, sometimes leaving their friends to spend more time with you.

Do you see what's going on behind the words?

What I want you to take from them is the PLAYFUL TEASING attitude that works so well with women. Making fun of her, playfully accusing her of coming on to you, acting overly comfortable and playing hard to get works.

**********GREAT CONVO OPENER!**********

“Hey guys, let me quickly get your take on something. I've gotta go in a second, I've got my friends here. But here's the thing... would you ever want to make more money than your boyfriend?”

(Let her answer, then move on...)

“The reason I'm asking is because my friend Julie just started a fashion business and she's suddenly makes more than her boyfriend Will. They've been together over a year, and he's always made more money than her. But now she's able to live a little more lavishly, she's worried that he might feel emasculated. What would you do?”

(Let the conversation ensue, then move on to your next piece...)

“Well, I remember with my ex-girlfriend, I’d pay for stuff most of the time, which was all cool because I made more than her, and she would do little things to keep it balanced, like buy drinks sometimes or get me a nice gift from time to time...”

(The conversation is now open for you to move on...)

Do your thing!

ALL RISE! COURT IS ADJOURNED! PARTIES MAY NOW LEAVE THE COURTROOM. COURTROOM MAY NOW TEST THIS IN PARTIES!
 

the305

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 13, 2010
Messages
194
Reaction score
15
opinion openers are used to hell.. - proceed with caution, i almost want to suggest don't use opinion opener at all, or atleast do it with a twist.

"hey.. you all look like you're pretty fashionable, whats up with these guys with sun glasses in the club is it like the new style..?" Notice how this is more "natural" and flows better to the situation?

the typical, opinion opener, with false time constraint, really makes me cringe, anyone who has seen any pickup show, knows exactly what your doing - if you are JUST starting out, yeah go ahead, but PLEASE move away from this after you get comfortable.

the other "one liners" are cool though
 

Oxide

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 21, 2003
Messages
3,233
Reaction score
26
"Would you sleep with me for $100? 'Cause I really need the money!"
 

Never try to read a woman's mind. It is a scary place. Ignore her confusing signals and mixed messages. Assume she is interested in you and act accordingly.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

r0cky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2008
Messages
1,052
Reaction score
30
opinion openers are so last decade. my favorite openers:
"hey you girls look kinda lonely i thought i'd come say hi for a bit, my name is ..."
"hey you girls seem like fun so i wanted to come say hi, my name is..."
"hey guys, i wanna introduce myself my name is... "
 

phenomenom

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 30, 2009
Messages
74
Reaction score
1
r0cky said:
opinion openers are so last decade. my favorite openers:
"hey you girls look kinda lonely i thought i'd come say hi for a bit, my name is ..."
"hey you girls seem like fun so i wanted to come say hi, my name is..."
"hey guys, i wanna introduce myself my name is... "
These are THEEE BESTTT!!!
 

JerryFl08

Don Juan
Joined
May 5, 2009
Messages
77
Reaction score
1
"Would you sleep with me for $100? 'Cause I really need the money!"
HAHAHAH i actually said this to someone i know word for word but havn't talked to her in a long time.. this girl has guys going gaga all over her, cuz she's a dancer at some club idk..anywaysss her reply was
"haha jerry ur an idiot :p"

it's on :), we'll see what happens
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

WalkingStick

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 12, 2008
Messages
200
Reaction score
4
r0cky said:
opinion openers are so last decade. my favorite openers:
"hey you girls look kinda lonely i thought i'd come say hi for a bit, my name is ..."
"hey you girls seem like fun so i wanted to come say hi, my name is..."
"hey guys, i wanna introduce myself my name is... "
Love these. Confident, direct, simple.

As for the OP, those C&F lines are gold, but I agree that the opinion openers sound a little contrived and try-hard.
 

JLW

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 19, 2005
Messages
375
Reaction score
7
r0cky said:
opinion openers are so last decade. my favorite openers:
"hey you girls look kinda lonely i thought i'd come say hi for a bit, my name is ..."
"hey you girls seem like fun so i wanted to come say hi, my name is..."
"hey guys, i wanna introduce myself my name is... "

I wouldn't go straight into the "my name is..." part. leave the names for later. It makes for a sort of awkward pause in the conversation, because naturally they'll give you their names.

Plus, when you introduce yourself with your name, it makes things seem more formal. The girl will be more "uptight" on a subconscious level. You introduce yourself to people you do not know: strangers.


You want the girl to feel more comfortable right away, as if she's known you for a while. Get her name later on in the conversation.
 
Top