Funniest reasons for being dumped

[Austin Allegro]

Following on from the funny thread on things chicks say to blow you out on the phone, what howlers have you heard from women who've dumped you after STRs or LTRs?

I've had:

'I thought I was over a past relationship, now I realise I'm not'

'We're too similar'

'I've realised I just can't go out with someone who's white and from the same background as me' (she was white)

 

[RedKnight04]

RedKnight's Super-AFC days

Knight: Hey I liked you alot, lets go out again.
Her: (Hangup Tone)

My favorite other one:

Her: Sorry, your a really nice guy, we should stay friends.

I grin my teeth in dispare and still burst out laughing at my old AFC super bowl battles.

 

[Austin Allegro]

Just remembered another:

'This is all moving too fast'

(After I had been out with her twice in three weeks and made out once).

 

[Dirtheart]

I'd usually get variations of the LJBF rejection. Just like Redknight, I've heard the "you're a nice guy, lets be friends", but the worst are:

"I think it's best we just be friends as I don't want to ruin our friendship" (I never heard from her again!)

"Boyfriends come and go, but real friends are there forever and I don't want to risk losing you" (I never heard from her again either!)

"You're too good for me"

"You're a really nice guy and it's not fair for me to drag you along when I don't know what I want" (after 3 months)

"You're really good looking, you have everything going for you. You're everything a woman could want, but your not my type"

If just one of them had been honest with me and told me "you're a wuss" or "you have no confidence" I'd have learned my mistakes long ago and probably wouldn't have experienced so many of these lines.

 

[RedKnight04]

"I think it's best we just be friends as I don't want to ruin our friendship"

I was about to leave when I read your post Dirtheart.

Did you see the comeback from Fingers in the bible? That is the best $hit I have ever come across. In case you never read the bible which you probably did but it was:

Her: "I don't want to ruin our friendship" (it was something along that way)
Fingers reply:
"Are you that bad of a lover?"

Classic, Simply Classic.

 

[EternalBachelor]

lol. I have only had two girlfriends and got the following reasons for their dumping me:

First one: Done indirectly. We were having a long distance relationship (big mistake) and after a few arranged dates, when I called to arrange another date for the christmas hols she said I am too busy with a holiday job and family committments (i.e. she couldn't spare half a day at a weekend) and she would get back to me. She never did.....

Second one: I am afraid I have fallen in love with another guy (who she met in a disco when drunk with some of her friends) -i.e. she got a better offer

 

[cactus3178]

1). "You can't seem to get your **** together. You and your buddies are idiots"

(Now she can't stop calling me to try and hook back up (never, ever gonna happen), and she's ****ing married now).

2). "You can't seem to get your **** together". I'm not sure what I want. I love you, but you need to get your life in order.

(She can't seem to let go all the way quite yet though, as we still have sex, etc) Yes, I know it's a no-no.




Hmm. Sounds like a pattern.

 

[DJmonster]

"I'm not going to be able to do any dating, because I don't have any money since I just quit my job"

 

[Tails]

"i don't want to hurt you."

 

[GQ Prettyboy]

"I only liked you for your good looks and I fell in love with your body" What is the purpose dumping me if I am so attractive you dumb b!tch?

 

[Dirtheart]

Her: "I don't want to ruin our friendship" (it was something along that way)
Fingers reply:
"Are you that bad of a lover?"

Thanks Redknight, I like that! I must've overlooked it in the Bible. Hopefully I won't have the need to use it though.

 

[backbreaker]

that's the funniest rejection of all time:

" youre too good for me"

If you went to the car delearship tomorrow and someone said you just won a new Bentley, free of charge, would you say, "oh no, I don't deserve that car".

True BS, and most men buy it.

 

[Dirtheart]

"i don't want to hurt you."

Oh yeah, I've had this one too and I found it very insulting. I actually got quite p*ssed at that and told her not to treat me like a child. I make my own decisions and don't need someone else protecting me from being hurt.

She didn't take it well.

Backbreaker: Good point! lol!

 

[rgeere]

Man, I thought back to when I was younger and a bit more clueless when it comes to women, and I received some real kisses of death... I've heard all of the following....

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"You are nice, sweet, loving, guy. I'm absolutly positive that some girl will want to be your girlfriend"

"You remind me of my brother, he was shy like you and still got married"

"But, lots of girls would want to date you, even I would date you!"

"I screwed this guy named....."

"I have a boyfriend"

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But, to counterreact these rejection, I also remembered some things girls have said to me that were blatent green lights, and I didn't pick up on them...

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(About 18 when this occured)

Guy: "Hey, has anyone ever told you you look like someone famous?"

Me: "Yeah, I have actually."

Guy: "I think you might look like [some famous guy]"

(Girl in the back chimes up loudly)

Girl: "Ohhh, he's hot!"

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(I was 14 when this happened, Imagine a shy timid AFC)

Girl: Hey how are you?
Me: Good.
Girl: Do you like me?
Me: ( scared look with terror) NOOO!
Girl: Do you like guys?
Me: (not quite as scared) no, I don't
Girl: You're gaaaaay...

I just sort of took that one personal and never spoke to her ever again. Figures, I think back to it now that girl was always staring at me with a wild look in her eyes; being the stupid AFC I was I never caught on that this girl had the hots for me. Grrrrr.
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(Age 19 when this happened in a college computer class)

Girl: Hey, can you help me put this floppy disk in this computer. How do you save stuff?
Me: (Direct her verbally on how to stick the floppy in and save stuff)

[Next day]

Her: So how are you doing?
Me: I'm alright, you?
Her: Good
Her: say, what is your last name?
Me: [says last name]
Her: ( Gets on the local online yellow pages website to look up my address)
Her: Is this you?
Me: No
Her: Is that really your last name?
Me: Yes

[Next day]

Her: Do you like pornography?
Me: No, I don't.
Her: You don't like me do you?
Me: I never said that
Her: Naw, I think you don't like me!

This chick was physically hot, but she acted desperate and annoyed the crap out of me, which was a real turn off. Also, she dropped the class I had with her in college after missing like two weeks worth of classes. Who knows what she was doing.

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[JSH]

making pornography, she wanted to know if you were one of her biggest fans

 

[Superman X]

Her: Do you like pornography?
Me: No, I don't.
Her: You don't like me do you?
Me: I never said that
Her: Naw, I think you don't like me!

Hahahahaha, thats hilarious. And the best part is, that I missed some that were maybe not that obvious, but pretty damn close.

-Dan

 

[oldschool]

1) I call her on the phone:
her:hello
me:hi, it's oldschool
her:I don't know anyone by that name
me:we just had sex last night
her:sorry I don't remember (hangs up phone)
meuch, my pride

2) her:it's not me it's you
me:you mean it's not me it's you?
her:no, I mean it's you

3) I've decided to become a lesbian.

4) I'm moving to africa. (Still see her around the neighborhood almost eveyday.

5) I only liked you for your looks, but after I got my glasses from lenscrafters, I realized I don't like you at all.

6) her: we're too similar
me: actually we have very little in common I thought
her: that's right, we're just to different
me: you said we were too similar
her: see, we have nothing in common

7) her: I don't want to ruin our friendship
me: so we're still friends?
her: no

All these haven't happened to me per se, but knowing women they could.

 

[_XT_]

Not the funniest reason but the most bizzare reason

One of my friends got dumped because his girlfriend of 2 years was still in love with her ex-boyfriend, now you might think this isn't so strange - but her ex-boyfriend that she still has "feelings" for has been dead for over a year!

 

[Life-Trainee]

Hmm, my friend's 2nd GF dumped him because she thought he was to good for her and that she was a "biach" and a "wh0re".

 

[_XT_]

Her: "I don't think we should date anymore because I'm not ready for a relationship right now"

The next week the girl hooks up with some other dude and they've been going steady for a few months now!