fukk buddy relationship escalating

[A&F Brand Cologne]

I am currently involved with two women. Girl 1 and I recently started hooking up and she knows about girl 2. there is no chance of girl 1 and I becoming anything more than fukk buddies.

Girl 2, Elena, and I started hooking up about two months ago and agreed the second time that we were strictly fukk buddies. No obligation to call, no obligation to go on dates, we were just strictly friends who enjoy sexual acts.

anyway, lately Elena's actions have been making me think that she wants more than just a casual relationship. She nearly always contacts me, she has been very forward with how often she wants to hook up, she compliments me frequently, and lately her suggestions have changed from "let's drink and hook up" to "hey, let's go to such-and-such then go to your place to party!"

very worrisome.

So basically, I'm looking for advice from some of the older fellas who have experience with fukk buddies gone awry (as they always do it seems). How can I de-escalate the relationship? Is it possible to keep hooking up but numb her feelings? I've tried backing off a little bit but it isn't working out so well. We haven't hooked up in three weeks for various reasons, but she's still coming on strong and she's coming over thursday.

thanks.

edit: here's an example. she just IMed me to let me know she can't come until 9:30, which I said was fine. she then asked what we were going to do on thursday, to which I responded "I have board games." Her counter-offer was to go to the movies.

 

[BLUEox117]

Originally posted by A&F Brand Cologne
I am currently involved with two women. Girl 1 and I recently started hooking up and she knows about girl 2. there is no chance of girl 1 and I becoming anything more than fukk buddies.

Girl 2, Elena, and I started hooking up about two months ago and agreed the second time that we were strictly fukk buddies. No obligation to call, no obligation to go on dates, we were just strictly friends who enjoy sexual acts.

anyway, lately Elena's actions have been making me think that she wants more than just a casual relationship. She nearly always contacts me, she has been very forward with how often she wants to hook up, she compliments me frequently, and lately her suggestions have changed from "let's drink and hook up" to "hey, let's go to such-and-such then go to your place to party!"

very worrisome.

So basically, I'm looking for advice from some of the older fellas who have experience with fukk buddies gone awry (as they always do it seems). How can I de-escalate the relationship? Is it possible to keep hooking up but numb her feelings? I've tried backing off a little bit but it isn't working out so well. We haven't hooked up in three weeks for various reasons, but she's still coming on strong and she's coming over thursday.

thanks.

edit: here's an example. she just IMed me to let me know she can't come until 9:30, which I said was fine. she then asked what we were going to do on thursday, to which I responded "I have board games." Her counter-offer was to go to the movies.

this may be a little evil but,

heres what i would do in a position where i dont want it to escalate

and keep in mind this im sure IS evil

get a buddy of yours who has no girl, and cant usually get girls, tell him you gonna hook him up.

now stop showing feelings to this girl, **** her and get over with it like you arent interested.

get your buddy to ask her out.

ignore her for a bit.

now 1 of 2 things happens

1- u keep ****ing her and all her feelings and **** are with the other guy
2- you just hooked ur buddy up with a hottie that loves to ****

HAVE FUN !.

 

[Mr. Mystery II]

You've already discussed things with her before, remind her of your agreement. That should be enough.

But remember your in the drivers seat, you have the power position, use it! Take control, assert yourself and she will submit and fall back into line.

Mr. Mystery

 

[NewMan]

Pull back from her.

Seh will wonder what is going on and then you will have the "conversation".

Tell her that you feel as if she is getting to attached to you - and you don't want to hurt her. That that is the last thing that you want to do. But that you are not in a position to move this relationship forward...

You may end up losing her.

But the more likely is that she will adjust her attitude (so to speak) - and your relationship will continue as is - for at least a little while longer....

 

[Rallfus]

Wrong on all counts!!!

If you want to cool her down, be an AFC with her.


That will do the trick.

 

[spider_007]

she might be suffering from the "god i feel like such a slut" syndorom, and that could be the reason why she is trying to do more. you need to have a sit down with her and be honest and tell her the truth; your not looking for anything serious right now, and that you just wana have fun. and make sure she knows your not trying to lead her ON. women don't mind you being honest as long as you do it in direct and non-pvssy like manner.

 

[romangod]

From my experience, sex buddies always end up wanting more. Women are emotional and no matter how much they deny it, they can't handle an extended sex relationship without getting emotionally involved.

Eventually she will try and move on but will come back every now and then for more til she finally has the strength to stay away.

 

[A&F Brand Cologne]

Well, since this thread is still on the front page I may as well give you guys an update.

She came over on Thursday, we had our fun, and towards the end she said:

"wouldn't this have been fun in a movie theater?"
"Sure, but we couldn't have hooked up."
"I could have done you. all I have to do is get on my knees."

We finished up, and I walked her to her car. Surprise of surprises, she held my hand the entire way and gave me a quick relationship-kiss goodbye.

I've always wanted to get head in a movie theater, and she apparently wants to give it to me in a movie theater, so I'm undecided as to what I'll do. my other fvck buddy recently got back together with her boyfriend, so we put things on hold and even she is urging me to date this girl. I'm seriously considering it.

 

[DeathDealer]

shut up man, really. who gives a sh1t about your sex buddies.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by A&F Brand Cologne
I am currently involved with two women. Girl 1 and I recently started hooking up and she knows about girl 2. there is no chance of girl 1 and I becoming anything more than fukk buddies.

Girl 2, Elena, and I started hooking up about two months ago and agreed the second time that we were strictly fukk buddies. No obligation to call, no obligation to go on dates, we were just strictly friends who enjoy sexual acts.

anyway, lately Elena's actions have been making me think that she wants more than just a casual relationship. She nearly always contacts me, she has been very forward with how often she wants to hook up, she compliments me frequently, and lately her suggestions have changed from "let's drink and hook up" to "hey, let's go to such-and-such then go to your place to party!"

very worrisome.

So basically, I'm looking for advice from some of the older fellas who have experience with fukk buddies gone awry (as they always do it seems). How can I de-escalate the relationship? Is it possible to keep hooking up but numb her feelings? I've tried backing off a little bit but it isn't working out so well. We haven't hooked up in three weeks for various reasons, but she's still coming on strong and she's coming over thursday.

thanks.

edit: here's an example. she just IMed me to let me know she can't come until 9:30, which I said was fine. she then asked what we were going to do on thursday, to which I responded "I have board games." Her counter-offer was to go to the movies.

Do you want to go to the movies with her? If so, then go. If not, then don't.

You're typing the post as if you don't have control and are just going along with whatever she says. If she says "let's have sex", you're OK with it and do what she says. If she says, "let's go see a movie", you're kinda bummed, but you do what she says.

Don't let her run your life. Even when you're enjoying what you're doing, make sure it's YOU doing it and not just her dragging you along. Don't become the "ball-and-chain".

 

[KnightRyder]

Originally posted by DeathDealer
shut up man, really. who gives a sh1t about your sex buddies.

hahaha. three some man .

 

[PRMoon]

haha I'd say get the three of you together as well.

But seriously if you don't want to go on a physical date with a f*ck buddy then you don't have to. Just tell her you're not up for it. And make plans for the bar or something. Or you could just say you're not interested but you were thinking about hittin up the bar and it'd be okay if she met you there. Since you're not really dating she should have no problem with that. If she does then you need to sit her down an explain how a f*ck buddies socilize again.

 

[xmlenigma]

they said the rule of thumb was once a week.. anything more and both parties start getting attached..

u can be FBs and more.. hanging out and stuff.. but u can be clear on letting her know that.. u are not getting into emotional stuff.. (she may be)