Fukk Buddies and the Value of Sex

[azanon]

I suppose if you look at it realistically, sex is NOT an even up trade for a woman. It's not about orgasm for orgasm, it's about potential parental investment in the case that the woman should get pregnant.

Yup, not even close to an even trade in my experience. I've found it pretty unusual for most women to just want sex. Most women I know if they want anything from a man, its an (emotional) relationship. Sex, if necessary, is the means to that end. Of course if you're single, there's always that chance you'll get hooked and offer the relationship, so in the mind of a women, they might give sex just because of that possibility.

Sure they enjoy sex, but I think its like saying there are aspects of eating an orange that I enjoy. Do I have to have an orange every day, every other day or heck.... even at all. No. But I enjoy it. But what they outright covet, like we covet sex, is an emotional relationship. And for some guys, they're willing to give sex for it. For other AFCs, like RT talked about, they'll take only the emotional relationship part if said AFC will give it, but the AFC isn't necessarily getting sex too.

 

[edger]

I had a lot of FBs in my 20s

Not meant to discredit your abilities with women or diss you in any way, but I'd bet being in a band, was the common denominator to having all those f*ck buddies. I know lots of musicians who are AFC's and not good-looking, who are in bands, who have it very easy with attractive women.

Guys, you wanna get hot women without any effort on your part? Join a f*ckin' band, lol.

 

[Trader]

Not meant to discredit your abilities with women or diss you in any way, but I'd bet being in a band, was the common denominator to having all those f*ck buddies. I know lots of musicians who are AFC's and not good-looking, who are in bands, who have it very easy with attractive women.

Guys, you wanna get hot women without any effort on your part? Join a f*ckin' band, lol.

Of course women eat up 'fame' and so being in a band will help you get laid.

But remember, it takes hours and hours of hard to work to start up a band and to even be mildly popular requires dedication.

Give him the credit he deserves.

 

[edger]

Give him the credit he deserves.

Anyone with that level of dedication does deserve credit. Where have I discredited him? I was just trying to make a point of how being a musician in a band requires no effort in attracting attractive women. "Gaming", "Don Juanism", "Looks"(all which hasn't really gotten me anywhere anyway) generally doesn't apply and isn't needed for a musician in a band. It's really that easy.

 

[Hooligan Harry]

Edger, it has nothing to do with being in a band. It has to do with social status. Band members display high status in quite a few ways.

1 - The confidence to get on stage in front of an audience. A fear of public speaking is one of the most common phobias people have. The fact that you could get up and perform in front of strangers displays confidence

2 - Social Proof. People are coming to watch you. You are the centre of attention. Not to mention other women hanging onto you. Which raises the level of competition for you.

3 - An automatic shared interest. People love music. People who like the same music tend to get on well together. There have even been studies that have linked intelligence levels and taste in music

That is why musicians are attractive to women. When they become more famous, their value increases. When they start making money, then it sky rockets.

Its why I never believed in this outgame, PUA bull****. Become a man of high value and strong character and it gets easier.

Wealth
Confidence
Dominance
Social Status
Good Looks

Those are the traits women are attracted to. The more traits you possess, the easier it is to land fuk buddies. You dont need to be in a band to display these qualities. There are countless ways to do this.

Women cannot separate emotion and sex. Sure, there are times when they are going to have one night stands and short flings. Most of the time though they know a high value man ios not going to commit from the word go because he always has options. She she becomes an option first, in an effort to slowly win you over and gain your commitment.

I have had short term things that stayed that way. ****ed each other a few times and that was that. Every arranged FB I ever had though ended up getting hot and heavy after a while. Ill be honest when I say that I have also ended up getting emotionally involved sometimes even when they were just keen on the sex. I think its rare for both people to be able to keep at it without one party wanting something more.

 

[STR8UP]

Well at first I didn't totally agree that women don't really see sex as an equal exchange because in order to have sex with a woman generally she has to see you as valuable enough. In other words, she's not going to just have sex with any guy just for the sake of having sex. She doesn't have to. I looked at as women are always trying to take an advantage even if they aren't offering sex. But here I think you are on to something.

I suppose there is something to the fact that you have to have SOME value most of the time, because what would make her choose YOU over a dozen other options if they are readily available to her?

I agree here. I often here guys say if you lay a girl good she will always keep coming back. I think that's baloney and guys that say that don't know what they're talking about.

This brings up an interesting point.

I learned that giving a woman great orgasms is great, UNTIL she finds a better EMOTIONAL attachment, or a guy who will give her a commitment.

So it is especially true that great sex means very little when the woman knows that you won't commit to her.

As Rollo said, she might come back around in between relationships which is GREAT, but great sex alone WON'T keep a woman around.

You know a lot of times when a guy says he has a FB, what he really has is a casual relationship with unclear objectives. How often do you make it totally clear to the female that it's a FB situation and you are sleeping around. Not too often.

I agree. I have had a lot more quasi-relationships than fukk buddies. Even the 22 yr old's best friend made a comment the other day about her friend and another chick she knew I was hooking up with. She said, "You might not CLAIM them, but they were your girlfriends".

This situation is a little different. The pretense that we are "only friends" has always been there, and despite the fact that she would probably jump at the opportunity to make it into something more, she already knows that I have no interest on going that direction.

Btw, this friend isn't the AW is it Str8?

Who would have thought it would have transitioned to this after knowing her for close to a decade? I always said that I would never put any effort into it, but she ended up in my bed one night and it was a gimme, so I took it.

That is why this is going to be a once every week or two kind of thing. She's doable for being close to 40, but her age and her personality preclude her from a relationship with me.

 

[edger]

Edger, it has nothing to do with being in a band. It has to do with social status.

I know, that's what I'm saying, a band gives you a "social status".

Its why I never believed in this outgame, PUA bull****. Become a man of high value and strong character and it gets easier.

Yeah, I too am starting to believe that maybe this whole "having game" thing is bullsh*t. It apparently hasn't worked for me very well. Either it's bullsh*t, or like I've said, it's not meant to be.

 

[Jitterbug]

Ya I often laugh at wannabe PUAs when they take "DHV" entirely the wrong way. There's no "DHV" when you have no high value to begin with. If you already have high values, you don't need to try to "display" them. They're constantly ON you, as a part of you.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Heh,..yes being in a band or even being a creative person in general can definitely work to your advantage with women, however you've got to also consider that even when I was in a semi-popular band, during the late 80s and early 90s EVERYONE was in a band. And those who weren't were putting one together. It was a way to hook up.

That said, of the 8 or so FBs I've entertained in my past, I can honestly say 3 of them were girls I met in college. They all knew I was doing the rock star thing at the time, but I didn't pick these girls up after a show. However I will cede you that point EDGER, it does have advantages, but that's not to say you can't arrange a FB situation if you're not a musician or an artist.

 

[edger]

during the late 80s and early 90s EVERYONE was in a band.

Ok, makes sense.

That said, of the 8 or so FBs I've entertained in my past, I can honestly say 3 of them were girls I met in college. They all knew I was doing the rock star thing at the time, but I didn't pick these girls up after a show.

But, the key is, they KNEW you were in a band. You don't have to just play a show for the ladies to flock to you.

 

[squirrels]

Anal? Just get her really drunk. Chicks will do anything for you if they have a high interest level and they're drunk. Hell chicks with a high enough IL will do anything for you sober- the trick is getting, and maintaining, the IL at that level.

This might be hard for alot of guys to believe- but you don't have to have IL maxed out to have sex with a girl- you just need a minimally acceptable IL. When IL is maxed out you start seeing really crazy stuff- hiding in your closet when your wife comes home, flying across the country just to bone you, hoing herself out for cash- and giving it to you- pretty much anything. Like I said- the trick is getting her to that IL and maintaining it there.

Truth.

When women are drunk, they don't play the "value game", they just give into their feelings.

That's one of the big reasons WHY women get drunk, so they can act the way they REALLY feel and then "blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-al-co-hol" the next morning when social conditioning kicks in and they start feeling guilty.

It takes a rare woman to become a F-buddy and have NO expectation of being in a more committed relationship later on. RARE. Unless she's ALREADY committed to a man, in which case she can cheat to fulfill her sexual urges and still have the security of the provider/breadwinner at home.

They really DO mind-rape women in present-day Western society. I feel sorry for them.

 

[Tazman]

Yeah, I was actually quite annoyed with this one chick who I was friendly with and how she seemed incapable of giving me a normal hug (she would always give a half hug like she didn't want to). It pissed me off because I never came on to her in any way.

Then what do you know, she gets drunk and is crawling in my bed..........I swear these chicks are really irritating sometimes.

 

[ketostix]

I suppose there is something to the fact that you have to have SOME value most of the time, because what would make her choose YOU over a dozen other options if they are readily available to her?

Yeah that's a good way of putting it. You do have to have value for the girl to have sex with you in the first place, but what she's coveting after is getting you emotionally commited more than the sex. Of course when she get's that, she might moove on anyway.

This brings up an interesting point.

I learned that giving a woman great orgasms is great, UNTIL she finds a better EMOTIONAL attachment, or a guy who will give her a commitment.

So it is especially true that great sex means very little when the woman knows that you won't commit to her.

As Rollo said, she might come back around in between relationships which is GREAT, but great sex alone WON'T keep a woman around.

Exactly, even if you have value and can deliver great sex, unless you foster an emotional attachment with her, she's still going to sooner or later find someone else. It's not that I think great sex is that common. It's just how females typically place value. That, and maybe because of vibrators servings as replacements lol.

I agree. I have had a lot more quasi-relationships than fukk buddies. Even the 22 yr old's best friend made a comment the other day about her friend and another chick she knew I was hooking up with. She said, "You might not CLAIM them, but they were your girlfriends".

This situation is a little different. The pretense that we are "only friends" has always been there, and despite the fact that she would probably jump at the opportunity to make it into something more, she already knows that I have no interest on going that direction.



Who would have thought it would have transitioned to this after knowing her for close to a decade? I always said that I would never put any effort into it, but she ended up in my bed one night and it was a gimme, so I took it.

That is why this is going to be a once every week or two kind of thing. She's doable for being close to 40, but her age and her personality preclude her from a relationship with me.

Yeah this situation is a little different because you've known her so long, but maybe it's not really that different at all. Maybe she really sees this as a challenge to get you drawn in to an emotional investment and that's what her goal with you really is, the same thing the previous girls were trying to do.

 

[STR8UP]

Exactly, even if you have value and can deliver great sex, unless you foster an emotional attachment with her, she's still going to sooner or later find someone else. It's not that I think great sex is that common. It's just how females typically place value. That, and maybe because of vibrators servings as replacements lol.

This goes to show that the physical component of sex is MUCH less important to women than it is to men.

I used to assume that sexual prowess was something that could keep a woman around, when in fact it is actually pretty low on the list.

No doubt it might bring them back around when they are in between emotional attachment, but it isn't enough to make a woman cheat in and of itself most of the time, and it is no match whatsoever for an emotional attachment when a woman finds that in another guy.

After having sex with a chick a few times I can usually figure out how to make her cvm hard within a very short period of time. I get off of getting a chick off, so it works for both of us. And I know women can and do lie about this for various reasons, but ever since I turned 30 any woman I have had sex with more than twice has expressed her "extremely satisfication", one of them to the point where she would embarrass me in front of half a dozen or more of her/my friends by talking about how good it was.

This was the chick who up and left to marry a dude she reunited with at her h/s reunion. I was "hands down the best she's ever had" in 33yrs, yet she left me in the blink of an eye for a guy who was willing to give her the picket fence and 2.5 ankle biters. Her best friend came straight out and told me that if I had been looking for a commitment that "things would have been VERY different".

So much for fukking a girl silly!

Yeah this situation is a little different because you've known her so long, but maybe it's not really that different at all. Maybe she really sees this as a challenge to get you drawn in to an emotional investment and that's what her goal with you really is, the same thing the previous girls were trying to do.

Who knows....

I wasn't going to post about this situation, but I think the haters have left the building so maybe I should since this is an interesting situation that doesn't happen very often.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Str8up,
Quote"Her best friend came straight out and told me that if I had been looking for a commitment that things would have been VERY different.So much for fukking a girl silly!") I think I was Older than you when I realised that sex to MOST Women is not the Be all to End all,if you are good in bed,Its A bonus Something like getting a 5 Stacker CD player in a second hand car,and would you pay much extra for that?....If sex were such a wonderful thing to Women life would be Oh so much easier for everyone!
......Well you can all laugh when I tell you that it is my skills as "Bob the Builder","Mr Fixit" and "Handy Andy" that endear me to my latest Lady.