Froze Up inside a bar

[microzogd]

So my friend calls me to hang out with him at a bar and he brings his gf and another friend ofd hers. When I get there I talk to them i introduced myself but I was already nervous. Bars make me nervous but I was conscience of my looks and that talking to stranger is never been my strong point.

So my good friend comes out of the bar and we chill. I talk to his gf and her friend. But the whole time I was there I was uneasy and I felt nervous and just out of my element. I tried conversation but I was quiet most of the time and my jokes really didnt fly too well because i was nervous.

So one of the girls says okay lets get up and socialize because its really morbid sitting here in one corner. As we walk up she immediatly starts talking to the other guys there and my friend is making out with his gf. So I felt really bad because here I was just standing alone.

Feeling nervous and I didnt want to walk up and just talk to the girl who said it was morbid sitting there because I didnt know what to say. And I just felt really down on myself.

I left the place feeling really ****y about myself because I promised myself to change and I have....but I still have so much many nerves and I get really quiet and Im just a very serious person in general that its hard for me to loosen up and have fun.

And Im not even trying to pickup girls I just want to chit chat with them. I dont care about sex or what not. I just want to be able to talk and laugh and loosen up....but tonight was hard.

So I feel stuck and really down on myself.

 

[Alphamale1821]

even with my success i have ****ed up a few times(more so as of lately) in bar/club game. I went to the bar last week and i was plannin on having a good time but my goal was ****ed up. I focused on getting drunk(**** vodka) which in return fuucked me.

When ever i go out i'm always runnin into to people i know such as with the bar. I already can't dance so that kinda hurts me because my confidence isn't as high but screw it i'm working on that. Anyway i go up to the V.i.p. area and this hot chick who knows me calls me out
Hb9:Chuuuk!(this biitch is banging)
Her friends checking me out in the process
me:hey what up hb9friend(drop my heinken beer straight in front of her/them)
Hot friend: hey you used to work at A&F blah blah
ME: drunken haze no game at all, i ended up doin some small talk and left like a fool.

After leaving that club i felt like **** due to the vodka and i guess the 2 beers i had in the bar. One of my worst nights...BUT you know what i actually laughed at mysell because getting down on yourself is not cool, nor worth it. My social value in clubs is good due to all the ppl i know but even i make a fool of myself. It's really not cool but lesson learned. Drink none or less, and learn to dance.

Oh yea as soon as i walked into the club heading to the bathroom this hot chick stared me down waiting for me to approach her. I just stand in stare. :/ it's all a numbers game playa even the best can fuuck up sometime don't let it get u down.

bar/club game is the hardest for me due to the fact that i know i can't dance and when i have danced with chicks who were receptive **** goes sour. I blame on my lack of dancing. I know once i learn how to dance my confidence will be sky high and i will have no problem pickin up. Until then i will just focus on learning to dance, before i make another club/bar entrance.

 

[connor32]

So my friend calls me to hang out with him at a bar and he brings his gf and another friend ofd hers. When I get there I talk to them i introduced myself but I was already nervous. Bars make me nervous but I was conscience of my looks and that talking to stranger is never been my strong point.

So my good friend comes out of the bar and we chill. I talk to his gf and her friend. But the whole time I was there I was uneasy and I felt nervous and just out of my element. I tried conversation but I was quiet most of the time and my jokes really didnt fly too well because i was nervous.

So one of the girls says okay lets get up and socialize because its really morbid sitting here in one corner. As we walk up she immediatly starts talking to the other guys there and my friend is making out with his gf. So I felt really bad because here I was just standing alone.

Feeling nervous and I didnt want to walk up and just talk to the girl who said it was morbid sitting there because I didnt know what to say. And I just felt really down on myself.

I left the place feeling really ****y about myself because I promised myself to change and I have....but I still have so much many nerves and I get really quiet and Im just a very serious person in general that its hard for me to loosen up and have fun.

And Im not even trying to pickup girls I just want to chit chat with them. I dont care about sex or what not. I just want to be able to talk and laugh and loosen up....but tonight was hard.

So I feel stuck and really down on myself.[/QUOTE

you gotta try to shake it off. when a defensive back gets beat for a touchdown he has to immediately forget about it or his whole confidence will be shot. you cant dwell on bad experiences like this. trust me ive been there. it's amazing what a few drinks does to me though. i go from nervous afc to confident hillarious guy. it's all about getting over inhibitions. u have to realize that other people are no better than you, therefore u have no reason to be nervous around them. easier said than done,i know. u have to learn how to make a girl laugh. it's trial and error. good luck.

 

[BadsnakeUK]

Sometimes even the most sociable people out there just dont have the vibe. Just let it go. Don't get down on yourself and make sure you put it behind you so it doesn't affect your future performance. You're allowed some down time now and again like everyone else

 

[microzogd]

thanks guys

Thanks guys....that really helped....I think im going to write my problems down and then work on them one by one so this way I dont feel like Im drowning in them.

 

[Deadly_Assassin]

don't worry, happens to everyone. I went to a mates party last night. I was the only non-white person there. I could feel people giving me a cold shoulder and I could not have one good convo with any of the guys. Even got ignored a few times. I talked to one chick and this other middle aged lady. I hanged around for a while just to be nice to my mate and then I went on my way.

 

[nismo-4]

Don't worry, I wanted to approach a woman in a club, I kept thinking about what to do, what to say. I just say I'll just do something and the next thing that happened...I threw up all over the bar! I wasn't drunk at all! Not only that, the bartender came by to clean it up and I threw up...ON THE BARTENDER!!! I then just walked out the club silently. For my failure, I was hoping to get hit with a beer bottle. I didn't but I stunk...

 

[Attractology]

Everybody has their bad days and only after you struggle can you really start to figure out the solutions. Guys who succeed with women don't dwell on bad encounters. They are confident enough in themselves that they know who they are. That girl you were introduced to didn't get to know the real you, but she did meet a temporarily awkward you.

You post has a lot of negative comments about yourself. If taking to strangers isn't your strong point, make it your strong point. Starting today FORCE YOURSELF to talk with (or at least say hello to) every stranger in your path everyday; bank tellers, men and women in line at the grocery store, people in elevators. Be positive and ask yourself how are you going to master this part of your life. Begin with the Inner Game and your confidence and then practice the Outer Game conversational skills. This is a skill set.

 

[DonGorgon]

You need to drink more.