From Mr Nice Guy to her man

[backbreaker]

nail on the head GOL

I remember my old oneitis couldn't have been happier for me when she found out I had a GF. I didn't get her to make her jealous, but it proved I was right in moving on.

 

[Tazman]

We were friends long before I looked at her any different.

No such thing. No guy would actively befriend a chick he wasn't attracted to, period. You may not have made a move, but you were into her.

There's no point in getting angry at her, you brought this on yourself. Showing her that she upset you is absolutely going to make you look desperate and emotional. What you do (like others have said) is "leave her alone". When you see her (since you have mutual friends and other unavoidable situations) you can say "hello" but go about your business. If she calls you, same thing, be cordial but cut the conversation short because you have other more important things to do.

Unless she suggests hanging out one on one where you can escalate to sex there's no point in maintaining anything other than superficial contact when it can't be helped.

 

[vanrijnr1]

Tazman,

Nope wasn't into her. Also wasn't angry as I left. Anyway... She suggests hanging out one on one quite often. At least once every two weeks, maybe more. This is the confusion. Actions speak louder than words.

Either way I'm backing off. I've been way to clingy / unsecure anyway and I'm tired of that. Maybe that's what I was supposed to learn.

 

[Tazman]

Nope wasn't into her.

Well, it really isn't that important I try and explain this further, but you may eventually see that men don't "actively" befriend women simply for the friendship, there's always an attraction (it doesn't have to be that strong either), whether or not you act on it isn't the point.

She suggests hanging out one on one quite often. At least once every two weeks, maybe more. This is the confusion. Actions speak louder than words.

You said it yourself, "actions speak louder than words", so where's the confusion?

Either way I'm backing off. I've been way to clingy / unsecure anyway and I'm tired of that. Maybe that's what I was supposed to learn.

You can't do this successfully unless you're pursuing other chicks, that should be your main focus.

 

[vanrijnr1]

The confusion is, she says she just wants to be friends. However the time we spend one on one, imo, is deeper than just friends. That's the confusion.

It's all good. I decided to go out for my dinner break to a local bar and I ended up having some nice conversations with some other chicks. Did not contact my friend at all, all day. Unusual as it is. But I said I would back off. Finally she texts me to see where I'm at. I tell her I met another woman. She gets very inquisitive. Not quite jealous. Anyway I'll see what happens. Nice to be chased for once, I'll keep it this way.

R

 

[On Point]

Woman love to hear about relationship drama, so don't let that plant a seed of hope. You need to treat her like an ugly guy friend you don't have much in common with. In other words, if you're going to hang out and do something fun for you, do it, otherwise keep busy with other stuff.

You need to get your game together and get some new woman in the picture. Maybe down the road when you have woman hanging on you and more inner game she'll come calling, but you need to forget about her, IMO.

The confusion is, she says she just wants to be friends. However the time we spend one on one, imo, is deeper than just friends. That's the confusion.

It's all good. I decided to go out for my dinner break to a local bar and I ended up having some nice conversations with some other chicks. Did not contact my friend at all, all day. Unusual as it is. But I said I would back off. Finally she texts me to see where I'm at. I tell her I met another woman. She gets very inquisitive. Not quite jealous. Anyway I'll see what happens. Nice to be chased for once, I'll keep it this way.

R

 

[rob23]

Rob

I know exactly how this guys feels im in a similar position just that the girl I like still has feelings for her ex, check out my forum maybe it’ll help.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1196302#post1196302

 

[vanrijnr1]

Ok... time for an update.

I finally was able to get her off my mind. We still hang out and all, but I've gotten to a place where I don't care who she's with. Looking to hang out more with other women, etc. So mentally I think I've walked away from this thing.

She's pretty much told me we'll never be together, and I said fine, f*ck it, I don't give a crap anymore.

Then last night we're hanging out, and now that she's more comfortable around me, she tells me there have been several times she's been attracted to me, i.e. she could have sex with me as far as she's concerned. What the h*ll is that about? I don't get it. She's restrained herself regardless, but... I'm lost. I don't want to open myself back up to this, I think next time opportunity knocks I may go for her fysically, but leave my emotions at home, obviously.

Anyway - anybody wanna explain women to me?

Thanks.

 

[Monkey]

Shes playing you.

She sensed you backing off so shes throwing out a few scraps to get you excited again. Don't fall for it. Guaranteed you try to make a move and she'll push you away and it'll start all over again.

Some girls love having their own little fanclub of guys giving them attention and she sounds like one of them.

Forget all this hanging out with her, its really not worth it, atleast until you can 100% say you have no interest.

 

[PectoralisMajor]

Its simple ( well in my mind). Women are attracted to a guy that has a LIFE, has his sh1t together, knows what he wants, is popular and comfortable with himself.

If you dont feel comfortable with yourself, others will sense that around you and it rings alarm bells..I'm not saying this is true for you.

Also if you have a life, then that makes you LESS available anyhow, which women like. We all want whats not easy to get.

is it easy to get a ferrari? hell no.

is it easy to get a ford fiesta - hell yes, its a run of the mill car. nothing special. You should be aiming to be the ferrari my man.

Are you beggning to get it? spending too much time with a chick whenever she wants is not normal ( or at least in my life) - I have plans, I cant drop things just because she wants to hookup, no matter how fit she is.

Now maybe if she was hot and going to tie me to a bed and handcuff me, well maybe then...

oh, and dont be so firm with this women face to face, she will suddenly think you've changed and the friendship may end. you need to do it in a way to keep her hooked whilst you meet other folk, do other things.

SUBTLE changes remember..

Oh and yer as the guy above said, she is testing you by saying:

'she tells me there have been several times she's been attracted to me, i.e. she could have sex with me as far as she's concerned'

all i'd reply to this is: aww thats really cute. your lovely.

and leave it at that. dont go getting all deep and serious. Shes testing to see if your still interested in her, and yes she's playing you.