Friends???

[Stann]

"Older man Young Women "

I have a friend girlfriend who I work with on separate shift. I have seen her for 2 years and started talking with her 2.5 months ago. I am getting a divorce and she has had a boyfriend for 5-7 years who moved out of state.

I have spent most most of the 2.5 months with her on weekends and over my apartment watching TV,dinners, etc. She allows me to kiss on her face, legs, (not lips) and message her legs. She calls me about 4x per day. She says we
are platonic friends.
She says she loves her boyfriend but she also dates (w/o sex myself and other guys). I am 53 and she is 36years. She has slept over my apartment on at least 6 occassions (on sofa).

She continues to see and have a committed relationship with her BF. She is not engaged but she considers that since she has this BF, this is like an engagement. I believe this is the first real BF she has had.

As indicated, he moved out of town about 1 year ago to attend school. She has remained her and dates other guys like me but won't break up with this guy eventhough she states at times he is not marriage material.


She went to visit with him this weekend and returned very enthusiastic, but she is also available for dates and I plan to see her this Thurs.

I want to get close to her, what advice do you
have and what is your opinion about this situation.


I want to get close to her, what advice do you
have and what is your opinion about this situation.

These are some points which I feel she leads me on to believe that she likes me:

1) she spends most of her time with me over the guys that she dates;

2) she was getting very dependent upon me before she went out of state to see her BF;

3) I feel as though the guy will never marry her as she still doen't have a ring...but she does not appear concerned?

How would you guys deal with this situation.
Thanks

 

[NewMan]

1) post this in the right forum.

2) Read the DJ bible.

3) So, Am I getting your story right? This chick allows you to massage her legs, kiss her legs and kiss her fac except her lips - but thats it. She does nothing for you except hang out with you, sleep over on the sofa. You pay for her dinners and whatever else you do.

So - what are getting out of this? - except perhaps the ego boost of being with a chick almost 20 yrs younger than you.

This is AFC behaviour. Your clutching at straws and you probably know it deep down inside.

No one will respect you if you don't respect yourself.

Do yourself a favour and get busy. Chase other chicks who are available. Don't let this chick have her way with you - have all your time and attention.

You need to stop being available for this chick. The next time she's over your place and planning to stay the night - ask her to leave. Tell her you have a friend coming over - and get some candles out and a bottle of wine. Then send her home. You need to act like you've got options and other women. Not like this girl is the everything in your life.

As I said read the DJ bible.

 

[Eternal]

Moved to Don Juan Discussion.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Newman, your advice has ben getting better over the last few weeks, I think you are maturing and becoming a better man..

Stann, never kiss a girl who doesn't kiss you back. At 51 years of age this is not appropriate behavior. Women lose respect for a man who kisses her without affection being returned - this is hurting your game.

As Newman stated - don't let her use you as a selep-over friend - this is not what you want! She is using your kindness/affection for other means - only pursue her romantically if she reciprocates!

 

[NewMan]

Newman, your advice has ben getting better over the last few weeks, I think you are maturing and becoming a better man..

I don't know if that's a good or bad thing coming from PRL

 

[neobrood]

man she's complicated...

maybe she cannot make up her mind whether its you or her current bf.

Why are women like that? They CANNOT MAKE UP THEIR MINDS!!!

 

[FratAndDiddy]

i'd say it was very good advice newman.

stann, looks like you jumped on the board before reading all basic material first.

i ain't clobbering you or nothing of the sort, but jump into the DJ Bible and as you read, picture yourself and all the stupid mistakes you've made in your life. it will quickly give you a perspective on what has happened in the past and where you stand now.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

My God!!! WTF are you getting outta this?? NOTHING!!! You are a friend to her and nothing more, albeit a very close friend, but that' it!!! She's using you for the part of her relationship that she's missing since her bf is outta state. And your AFC if you believe that she's not fukin' these other guys she going out on dates with. Of course she's having sex with them!!

Look your never going to be more than a friend to her, because she already looks at you like that. The best thing you can do is distance yourself from her!!! Go meet single AVAILABLE women who want ot fuvk and be with you. This is a complete waste of time for you.

She's using you for EVERYTHING and not giving back anything in return. There's no confusion on her part, she's having her cake and eating it to, while you constantly supply a new batch from the oven.




PIMP

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Stann, What's up - no reply??

This is a strange girl - she is obviously not committed to her long term pimp since she is screwing other dudes (except you) and allowing men to lick/kiss her thighs!! She is a ho - don't believe what women say, look at what they do!! She is toying with you!

 

[2xp]

i 'd give her a drink to chill out then do hotter massages if i was Stann, and do some kino. then bangg !!! but that's just me....

damn... i think i am way too horny these days.

___________________________

Why are women like that? They CANNOT MAKE UP THEIR MINDS!!!

neobrood, you are inversing the problem. if you knew more about women's mind, this girl has a lot of things to manage in her head. it's not women's job to take this type of decisions. anyway, i guess she is waiting for the DJ man, or me.

oh no, not me. 36 is just too much. i prefer 20yish years old. i guess it's the natural order of things. isn'it P_R_L ?

 

[Stann]

Friends

Hey Guys,

Thanks for the information. Given the fact that I have just got back into the market, I am out of touch. Been sep for 2 years and should be divorced in 6 mnths.

All the advice is great.

I talked with her yesterday and told her that I did not want to be her friend anymore or talk with her, as she does not see me as a mate or BF. She became very mad and angry and told me to make sure that I know what I'm doing as she will not be taking me back as a friend if I change my mind. I told her that I did and did not want to be her friend....haven't spoke to her or called her since.

I am gonna learn this program guys and get on your level so I can get a couple of nice ladies by the end of the year.

Any more advice DJ's???

 

[Survivor]

Re: Friends

Originally posted by Stann
Hey Guys,

Thanks for the information. Given the fact that I have just got back into the market, I am out of touch. Been sep for 2 years and should be divorced in 6 mnths.

All the advice is great.

I talked with her yesterday and told her that I did not want to be her friend anymore or talk with her, as she does not see me as a mate or BF. She became very mad and angry and told me to make sure that I know what I'm doing as she will not be taking me back as a friend if I change my mind. I told her that I did and did not want to be her friend....haven't spoke to her or called her since.

I am gonna learn this program guys and get on your level so I can get a couple of nice ladies by the end of the year.

Any more advice DJ's???

Declaring that you weren't her friend anymore was a mistake. You should have simply cut off contact. Your actions would have spoken volumes.

Call her back and apologize to her for your childish behavior. Tell her that you still want to be friends, but the heavy petting and sleep-overs will have to stop. Explain that while those things may feed her ego, unfortunately it is confusing and frustrating for you, not mention it being disrespectful to her boyfriend.

By doing that, whatever small shred of respect she still has for you will be salvaged.

It seems that you need to get back into the mindset of dating multiple women. For starters, find low stress places where you can meet women and collect multiple phone numbers. The objective is not to find a future wife, but to get more acclimated to dating mulitple women. As your confidence grows, the relationships should become more intimate.

Learn from this episode and continue reading the "DJ Bible" for ideas on self-improvement.

 

[Stann]

Friends "to call or not to call"

It was her idea of "not being friends" or "talking to her" after she became very critical about me and the things that I have done with her. She is a very critical person and somewhat confused, as she said the same thing about her boyfriend a couple of weeks ago and started criticizing me basically the same way.

As far as calling her back, I had planned to stop seeing her prior to the final episoid. I am not going to call her back and clearify my position as I made it clear about what I wanted from her from the beginning and the friend **** was her idea. Given the fact that we work together I think it is better that I just leave her alone completly as she may think that I still am interrested in her.

She has terminated other relationships like this she has told me. I don't have any regrets, as I treated her with respect to a degree and she complimented me last week that " most women would kill for the way I treated her".

Thanks for the advice, but I think I had just leave it alone. As far as "respect", she knows me well enough to respect the decision I made, I think it is her loss, not mine.

Thanks again.

Anyother remarks guys?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Stann my man, you didn't tell us you worked with her!! This can lead to other problems and drama in the workplace.

Us dudes in our mature years don't have time nor the inclination to become 'friends' with a chick! Only pursue women romantically -period!

She saw you as a 'nice' guy and not as a lover or one to have a romantic relationship with - it takes two to tangle - she didn't want to dance! Leave her alone and don't believe that "I have a boyfriend" crap - this dude is gone miles away from her for a reason and it isn't to be closer with her!

Stann, women use that "I have a b/f" line so that guys (you) don't get the idea that she is available for your romantic interest -women don't say that line to guys they like. She wants to be entertained and seeks attention! She is obviously not with dude that is why she is 'dating' others and sleeping over your place!! Look at what women do and NOT what they say!

 

[backbreaker]

Re: Re: Friends

Originally posted by Survivor
Declaring that you weren't her friend anymore was a mistake. You should have simply cut off contact. Your actions would have spoken volumes.

Call her back and apologize to her for your childish behavior. Tell her that you still want to be friends, but the heavy petting and sleep-overs will have to stop. Explain that while those things may feed her ego, unfortunately it is confusing and frustrating for you, not mention it being disrespectful to her boyfriend.

By doing that, whatever small shred of respect she still has for you will be salvaged.

It seems that you need to get back into the mindset of dating multiple women. For starters, find low stress places where you can meet women and collect multiple phone numbers. The objective is not to find a future wife, but to get more acclimated to dating mulitple women. As your confidence grows, the relationships should become more intimate.

Learn from this episode and continue reading the "DJ Bible" for ideas on self-improvement.

Very true Indeed.

One of the 48 laws of power is to never say more than what needs to be said to make a point. Why call you and have a long drawn out convo, when I can just not talk to you? I've had to do that with one girl, and honestly It was the best decision I have made in a while.

 

[Stann]

Friends

Backbreaker,

What exactly do you mean? I'm trying to understand what you said........ I value all of you guys statements BTW.....

Thanks

 

[JSH]

Backbreaker is talking about a book, "the 48 laws of power" by Robert Greene?, i think its a kinda self help book. Personally i dont really go in for that sort of stuff.


But anyway, welcome and e are all here to help.